What the fuck did you just fucking say about me,
 you little poser? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the the Church of Satan, 
and I’ve been involved in numerous secret never before heard bands, and I have over 300 confirmed church burnings.
 I am trained in tremolo picking and I’m the blast beater in my entire small norwegian village. You are nothing to me but just another poser. 
I will wipe you the fuck out with  “Self Defense”  of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
 You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet?
 Think again, Poser . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Kvltists across the  grim and frostbitten kingdoms and your IP is being traced right now 
so you better prepare for the lamps, Poser The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your band. You’re fucking dead, 
 I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over 26 different stabs, and that’s just with my bare lamps.
 Not only am I extensively trained in survivalism and the occult, but I have access to the entire arsenal of 
 Me and Gaahl and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable band off the face of scandinavia, you little f^lsey.
 If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. 
But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn poser I will scream all over you and you will drown in penis. 
You’re fucking dead, 

Slaughtering The Posers Who Dare Oppose(r) Us.

Unspeakable Anal Death

"Lyrics":
Apparently spontaneous house party + baseball bat = several stitches.
 good thing i couldnt sew myself up sa there was possible tendon damage
Catching flying creatures and putting them in William Holford's room is fun. Latest addition is a mysterious green thing

Work done? VODKA!!!!!!!

Another morning in the House of Metal:
1. Wake up still drunk
2. Find dried turd on the downstairs carpet that nobody knows where it came from
3. Gas man comes to mess with the boiler
4. Have a fight with teabags
5. Make a cup of tea in the toilet 
6. Play with a water filled condom until it bursts all over the ceiling
7. Clean some tea up
8. Give up
9. Eat
10. Shots?

Whan you get mugged in Gravesend and hide your jackrt
 and cowboy boots in random bushes and forget which they are and pisss
 of the poice becaue youre too pissed too remember which bushes

Work done? VODKA!!!!!!!

This Song Consists Of Andy's Drvnk Facebook Statvses.

A festive tribute to some national treasures.

Nonce Upon a Time...

Something I'm working on at the moment, Not quite finished, Still got to add vocals and a solo.

Satanic Necroboner