The Word

I recorded an instrumental version of the same hymn two years ago when a sister taught it to me. Now, I had the feeling to record it again, after all the experiences the Lord has given this year.

I really enjoyed the third stanza of this hymn:
"Just rest, He knows;
With Him blindness is pleasant!
Just rest, He knows;
Sightless, you see Him best!
Just rest, He knows;
My soul, don’t waste the present
On those “what-if’s“.
Just turn to Him and rest!"

After almost two years of the pandemic, I felt hopeful entering into 2022, thinking that perhaps it held better hopes for more freedom and a sense of normality that we knew before everything came "crashing down".

However, in January, COVID hit our household to such an extent that I didn't see coming. I even came to a point of thinking that maybe I'll lose a family member to this virus--spending days at the hospital with a seeming plethora of medication just to get better. It was such a grueling time, a battle in my mind, a severe weakening of my faith, and I thought it was the end for me; I was in fight mode, endeavoring for survival against all the aspects of depression. I forgot my spirit. I didn't think it would help. "I just needed to get things done," I said to myself.

Everyone recovered eventually, thank the Lord. But my mind remained traumatized. The scenes kept coming back, and I dreaded every time night came because the eerie silence reminded me of the calm before the storm. For months on end, I would lay in bed 'til the wee hours of the morning--unable to sleep--paralyzed with the fear of extreme possibilities. My mind was filled with SOOOO MANY "what if's": What if it happens again? What if I can't cope? What if there won't be enough supply to meet the need?

These thoughts occupied my mind endlessly. I felt like my spirit was so powerless against my raging mind, which triggered my emotions, and caused my body to suffer the consequences as well. The sightlessness drove me to my wit's end. I think, deep in my heart, I was angry at the Lord for giving me such a heavy burden again. I was complaining, "Why does this keep happening to me?!" I had no rest in my tripartite being. But one message struck me concerning "God's Economy in Faith" during a working ones' conference.

It posed a question: "Do you believe that He (God) is repeating all the things He did in the past? No. He is not repeating anything. He is always moving forward." But what about you? Are you stuck in the past? Are you a person of yesterday?

I was indeed severely hindered by the past. I couldn't move on. The events of the past fueled an increasing amount of unbelief. What a shameful situation I was in. Every day, I felt like I was drowning, like Peter started sinking when he looked at the waves. I couldn't help it. The waves were so huge, ones I've never encountered in such magnitude.

Rest comes when we look at the Lord, and it seems I still haven't been perfected in this aspect especially when it concerns family--family is such a blind side for me. Everything else just fades, even my spirit, when it boils down to this.

In the end, I'm thankful to the Lord for exposing me of my shortage in this matter. I thought I was okay...I wasn't. But I acknowledge that I am still in the process, and I thank the Lord and all the saints for really carrying us in prayer. It was way beyond my capacity; I despaired of living. 

One last thing. The brother mentioned such an encouraging word.
"What should we do if we recognize unbelief?
We say, "I BELIEVE!"
"LORD, HELP MY UNBELIEF!"

This brings us to the chorus of the hymn:
"Thank and praise You, Jesus!
Through all unknowns,
You make Yourself so dear!"

I still love You, Lord. You are dearer than before!

(Link to full lyrics: https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/ns/34)

Fear Not, He Knows (NS34)

https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/nt/715
capo 4 G
1
Not now, but in the coming years,
It may be when with Christ we stand,
We’ll read the meaning of our tears,
And there, sometime, we’ll understand.

 Then trust in God through all thy days;
Fear not, for He doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
  Sometime, sometime, we’ll understand.
2
We’ll catch the broken thread again,
And finish what we here began;
God will the mysteries explain,
And then, ah, then, we’ll understand.
3
We’ll know why clouds instead of sun
Were over many a cherished plan;
Why song has ceased when scarce begun;
’Tis then, sometime, we’ll understand.
4
Why what we long for most of all,
Eludes so oft our eager hand;
Why hopes are crushed and castles fall,
Till then, sometime, we’ll understand.
5
God knows the way, He holds the key,
He guides us with unerring hand;
Sometime with tearless eyes we’ll see;
Yes, then, ’tis then, we’ll understand.

Not now, but in the coming years

Crucified With Christ My Savior (Alternate Tune) - Hymn 481

1. Jesus, how we long for Thee!
Come, Thou, be with us still.
Thou, our Bridegroom and Lover,
Only, this vessel can fill.
Yes, Lord, Thou, Lord,
Only, this vessel can fill.

2. Take me, Best Love, O take me!
Thy compassion now sway
My heart, will, and emotion;
Burn all the idols away.
Burn, burn, burn, burn,
Burn all the idols away.

3, Guard me in Thine affection;
Keep me simple and chaste.
None beside Thee in heaven,
None on earth long we to taste.
Jesus only! None on earth long we to taste.

4. Time takes moment by moment
Our hearts closer each day
To Thee; Lord, we beseech Thee:
Quickly come, even today!
Amen, Jesus, quickly come, even today!


🌹🎻🎶🌺🌱🌷🌸🌹🎻🎶🌺


1. Oh Jesús, ¡te anhelamos!
Con nosotros ven ya.
Nuestro Novio y Amado,
Sólo Tú puedes llenar.
Sí, Tú, Señor.
Sólo Tú puedes llenar.

2. ¡Tómame, Amado mío!
Y que Tu compasión
Todo mi ser atraiga;
Quema los ídolos.
Quema, quema,
Quema los ídolos.

3. Guárdame en Tu afecto;
Sencillo, en castidad.
En todo el universo, 
Como Tú no hay otro igual.
¡Sólo Cristo! Como Tú no hay otro igual.

4. Cada día, más cerca
De Ti estamos, Señor.
Nuestro corazón ruega:
¡Ven pronto, ven hoy, Señor!
Señor, Amén,
¡Ven pronto, ven Oh Señor!


🌹🎻🎶🌺🌱🌷🌸🌹🎻🎶🌺

Jesus_How_We_Long_For_Thee! 🌹🎻🎶 Oh Jesús te anhelamos! 🌹🎻🌺

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