Goes back a few years so
But I haven't let go of all the hatred
I spit vitriol and wish you a deep hole
For all that you said

CHORUS
You can laugh, you can joke but you're still obscene
The most hideous human being
The worst excuse for a person that I've ever seen
I don't mean to be blunt
But you're a cunt

If you were faster with the knife you'd have ended my life
Did you want that?
Your disease it was rife when I took you as wife
I should have sensed that

CHORUS

The words black and cruel always spurted from you
Such a foul mouth
Treated me like a fool - you're a stench ridden stool
I wish you poor health

CHORUS

Cunt

She held out her cup o' spunk
Filled to the brim with all of our junk
She lapped up the dribbles left on her thumb
She drank it all up yum yum yum

CHORUS
She drank a cup full o' spunk
She drank it up yum yum yum

I wiped the sperm from her eye
About 10% of it was mine
She's a good girl, she does what I say
She takes it every way

CHORUS

Cup O’ Spunk

I spit on you
And everything you love and do
I don't have to conform
Check out my sexy uniform

CHORUS
Tie me up, give a rub
Tell me that I'm a fuck up
Right away do what I say
You cannot beat a wank a day
Tie me up, wounded pup
Tell me that I'm a fuck up
As I lay start to play
Its all free, don't have to pay

A whip and chain
Pull my nipples and watch me spray
You're the boss tonight
We'll role reverse when it gets light

CHORUS

I’m A Fuck Up

You think you're a star
But we all know what you are
All skin and bones
Just wait till I get you home

CHORUS
Going down, make a sound
Open up I'm going down
In your mound, like what I've found
Open up I'm going down
Take a pound into the ground
Open up I'm going down
Don't ya frown, undo your gown
Open up I'm going down on you

I like all the dirt
The magnetism of your skirt
My eyes on a stalk
We'll keep going 'till you can't walk

CHORUS

I'm Going Down On You

It was a seedy bar
I took it far too far
I met you through a mate
We did the deed till late
My naked body poured
But you still wanted more
I've got a dodgy back
You nymphomaniac

Your previous lover died
Honey I really tried
But you know its getting late
And I've got a headache
You say you want it rough
And I reply real gruff
Sugar I've had enough
No way, no way, I've no more energy today

We tried it upside down
In bed then on the ground
I'm a mere mortal man
I've given what I can
I think you must be touched
The way that you erupt
I do not want to die
But more and its bye bye

I can no longer stand
Lie back and think of England
Then give a feeble shout
Before I pass out
You beckon me real near
Then whisper in my ear
My heart is filled with fear
No way, no way, I've no more energy today!

Headache

The prettiest girls with their curls
Flashing boobs from boob tubes
Show the rest
I'm a sex pest
Please

CHORUS
Don't laugh its far too sunny for this raincoat
Don't point cuz it is rude and it is no joke
I want to offer up a necklace of pearls
Don't close your eyes whilst I'm flashing at girls
Flashing at girls

Innocent looks from porno books
Thumb for a lift if you get my drift
Sit on my thumb
What have I done?
Do it again

CHORUS

Flashing At Girls (The raw Scab Madras version) *Available for Download*

First time you saw me wear a dress
It's fair to say that you weren't impressed
A tough kink to admit
An admission that I'd planned a bit

CHORUS
I knew it was such a big deal
I made sure we had wine with our meal
I knew it was such a big deal
Point proved, point proved
I don't understand your attitude
You phoned later, said you'd only return
If I promised with my heart to leave your clothes alone
I knew it was such a big deal
Point proved, point proved
I don't understand your attitude

Answered the door in net stockings all black
I think I took your mother aback
She demanded that you return home
I sat and drank all the wine alone

CHORUS

Don’t Understand Your Attitude

Comparing penis sizes
To the pornographic films with parental advisories
Getting it out behind the bike shed
Comparing the length, the girth and the head

CHORUS
So many shapes, the big and the small
And obviously mine is the nicest of all
So give a cheer, scream and shout
And let it hang out, let it hang out

Comparing penis size
And hurray for me because I won the first prize
Oh honey I can be your man
I can take you by the hand, you can take me by the gland

CHORUS

Comparing manhood girth
As if its the only way that we have worth
And ladies mines a hit
It's lucky cuz I also know what to do with it

CHORUS

Its a flop!

Comparing Penis Sizes

That root vegetable I had a hunch
It was being saved for our Sunday lunch
Imagine that evening to my surprise
A happening that bought tears to my eyes
I bent over to obey
Cuz you said you wanted to play
That's no sex toy that's a meal
It will take some months till I heal

CHORUS
Am I a man or am I a boy?
That's a sex toy!  That's a sex toy!
One woman mission to destroy
That's a sex toy!  That's a sex toy!

Give me a whip and give me a chain
Keep it going cuz I like pain
Turn vibration up to ten
Turn it off then start again
How did that feel for you?
I think I turned from black to blue
That's no sex toy that's a beast
What a monster I've unleashed

CHORUS

Industrial sized, industrial sound
Nearly span my whole body around
See that bottle over here
Pass it fast I'll drink the beer
And once its empty shove it up
Sit back and watch my body erupt
That's no sex toy, I need more
Whatever you have I'll take it all

CHORUS

Sex Toy

Give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up
Oh dear
Your legs apart and stuck in the air
There ain't much room for me in there

CHORUS
I don't wanna be no consolation
I don't wanna be no second thought
I struggle with the act of double penetration
I'm worried I'm the one that gets cut short
I don't wanna be no consolation
I don't wanna be no second thought
A sweaty and sticky cum vacation
I'm worrying about what I may have caught

Give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up
Oh wow
Ones enough cuz two's a crowd
You can't scream both our names out loud

CHORUS

Give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up

"Oh my god, I never ordered this Scab Madras"

Dirty, filthy punk from Dorset.

Scab Madras

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