For Baby Bronco!! 

Dragging you around
Like yesterday's bad news 
Giving me an offer 
You know I can’t refuse

I’ve, tried to smoke you out
Set a fire in my stomach
You bleed into my dreams at night
And I’m becoming 

Tired, say you’re flickering 
"Now’s not it", saw this coming 
I know I 

I hate
That I don’t want you
But I can’t stand to see you look the other way 
Always made
An easy target
Shoot me down again 
Shoot me down again 

Putting up a fight 
Was never my best card 
I’d rather just roll over 
Let you win and move on

I’m, tangled up in you
Where do you start and I end?
Hard enough to pretend
This isn’t messing with my

Mind, give it up already 
Want what you can’t have
But trust me
I know I 

I hate
That I don’t want you
But I can’t stand to see you look the other way 
Always made
An easy target
Shoot me down again 
Shoot me down again

easy target

xx

There you go again 
I Bet you’ve been up all night
Staring at the ceiling 
Or whatever gets you by 

We don’t talk about it
If you break don’t tell me why
Say it never happened
You just want me when you lie 

Get a little more lonely 
And you’ll see me again
It’ll take some time
It’s just a matter of when 
Call it what you want
Won’t be answering

Best you ever had
I wish I could say the same
The longer I’m without you
I don’t think you’ll ever change 

Tally up your notches 
Try and tie me to your leash
No, I’m not your girl
I don’t think I’ll ever be

Get a little more lonely 
And you’ll see me again
It’ll take some time
It’s just a matter of when 
Call it what you want
Won’t be answering

I’ve been running since the moment you left

notches

sticks&stones

Sorry

Violet Light

ocean

june by Briston Maroney cover

upperhand

meet me where you knew we were right.

demo version, good things coming soon :)

ceasefire

about seeing myself in a golden light after drinking a bottle of mead (honey wine)

lead guitar, encouragement, and creative company from the wonderful @lossketches

Honeywine

be my mistake by The 1975 cover

another sad song that speaks to me on a personal level :)

good news by Julien Baker cover

i felt this song, so i made a quick cover in the five minutes of spare time i had today.  idk, something about the way this girl writes just gets me

21 by Gracie Abrams cover

and she does it AGAIN.  this one cut deep.

i miss you, i'm sorry by Gracie Abrams cover

cage and a haven 
*will be on spotify momentarily*
credit to About Esme for the wonderful production, and to Riss for the lovely artwork <3

Greenhouse

thought i'd release this one a few days early for you before it hits streaming platforms this week :) 

this song sounds like getting pulled under. as the song builds, so does the frustration behind the lyrics

lyrics written/produced with About Esme
artwork by Riss <3

Venom

Production/ electric guitar/ bass/ drums - About Esme 

This one is about imagining an experience of revenge to be euphoric, and realizing it is anything but. sorry I believed a dream over the truth.

coming out soon on an EP :)

euphoric

this song is about a place that i'm not sure exists anymore outside a dream. it sounds like a river to me.
Creds to About Esme for production and another beautiful electric guitar solo (listen til the end!)

rusorio

a new take on an old song that aged well...
EP out soon :)
~~~
Figure out what you want
Without me knocking at your door
Blur the lines, make it hard to read your mind
This is, more than you bargained for

Not trying to talk you down
But, you say shut up before I speak
Bite my tongue, you’re not here, and it’s all wrong
You love and you leave me

Warn me, slow and low, that you don’t want to see me
Bare your teeth and stare me down
I know better than to test you when you’re hurting
But I can tell you’re terrified of me right now 

Didn’t want to let you go but I’m about to
She’s pulling you in
Pushing me away
If this was the first time,
I’d believe it
You’re manipulating faith
I’m just getting in your way

I wish I could but I can’t get around you either 
I’m letting you win
Swearing that you’ll change
This isn’t the first time
I’ve believed it
You’re a wolf and she’s your prey
Used to getting your own way 
~
try me xx

wolf

A fun little coffee-shop jam about being unpredictable

@about-esme - production/backing vocals :)

cover painted by me

~~~~~~~~~

Flying over
Every place that I have ever called my own 
Would you believe it took all night 

Want to know her
Every thing I thought I was
An undertone, tone at best  
Barely black and white

And I guess it’s nice to be 
wrong once in a while, just don’t make it a habit
You’re so terrified
Of living in the lines
Don’t know what you had til you’re past it 

Change looks even better on me scattered 
Accidental mess when I’m gathered 
I guess, by definition, hazard 
sure, but what does that make you 

If you could see it
Kaleidoscope until you’re dizzy on your knees
I wish you could make sense of me

It’s probably better
Traded veils and now
I know what’s underneath
The secret I can’t keep 

And I guess it’s nice to be 
wrong once in a while, just don’t make it a habit 
You’re so terrified
Of living in the lines
don’t know what you had til you’re past it

hazard

~~~~~~~

Water
Slipping through your hands 
What’s your plan 
You said you caught her 
Dreaming of a chance 
You’re the one 
She never wanted 
Bet she’d say she fought it 
Gave it all she had 

Stronger 
Than she thought you’d be
I agree 
You say you’ll wander
With nowhere to be
Run in circles 
Until autumn;
Things we have in common
adding up fast 

You say you’re not lonely 
I’ve heard it before 
I'm still listening
I don’t believe you anymore
Your one and your only
A foot in the door
Swear to me you're certain
I know you’re unsure

Give you up take it easy
I love what I can’t afford
What you want, what you’re needing
I’m at odds with 
Either/or

autumn

Track 7 on my upcoming 9-song album "Daydream". Out 9/9


~~~~~~~


Walk in the door
Close your eyes 
Choose a card
You’re guessing my name
Showing off
With a seven of hearts 

I don’t know your friends 
But we get
in the car
Drive through the city 
To the beach
You kiss me in the dark

Do you ever wonder about how
You ended up standing where you are right now?
You ask me 
And it all fades out 
I barely hear you now

I’ve been here before, this scene I know the lines 
I was running barefoot on a different high 
I’ve had this conversation in another life
But not with you 
Hope it’s not the same the second time around 
Have something to say, why can’t you spit it out?
Always seem to show up, when you’re feeling proud,
In someone new

I came with a taste 
For the drinks and the sound
You’re playing on stage 
You don’t know me
I’m new to this town 

Pull me aside 
And we’re thinking aloud 
Let’s leave tomorrow 
Live a dream for a while 
If you’re down

Seven Of Hearts

Track 8 of 9 on my upcoming album "Daydream", out 9/9 :)

Creativity comes easiest out of negative emotions for me.  This is a song about the struggle between light and dark, and the balance I've found by allowing them both to have space in my life.

~~~~~~~~

Are you far enough away? 
We’re strangers but yesterday 
I knew your secrets, we jumped off the deep end, I sank and you swam
Good for you

Was I too late?
Seems we’ve met the fate 
I’m afraid of, how did we end up on
Two different sides of the room

What’s left 
Of castles we built out of nothing
Can’t tell who you are  
There’s no light and I’m fumbling 
I swallowed the sun 
Now you’re terrified of me 
Chasing the dark
Hope you catch up to something 

Are you trying to read my mind?
I’ll spell it out, read the signs
I bet you’ll miss it, no good at directions
The exit’s a couple miles back 

Were we ever alright?
Maybe you never tried 
To make it through this tunnel of excuses 
I’d glow in the dark and you’d laugh

Chasing The Dark

title track for my new album Daydream :) out 9/9

I spent last summer
Trapped in your headspace
But I’ve never been here before 

Your brother is calling
Forgiven, forgotten 
don’t go by your name anymore

maybe you do
And he’s making a joke 
she’s laughing in passenger side 

Unopened letters 
prescription papers 
the glovebox from last July 

I know where you’re heading
But where is your mind
The river won’t run like it did when I cried 

Slip in and out of a daydream 
I really can’t tell if it’s mine 
Devils get greedy 
And angels are needy
I couldn’t catch lightning 
I tried

Daydream

Reminiscent of one of my first posted songs, "Violet Light"

if you're listening and it means something to you, let me know xx

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pick me up on a Sunday
Drive me home, I live just below the grade 
Say you’re jaded in love and
You can’t stay
In the same place

Compliance isn’t my forte
Listen but I choose to ignore it
If I keep knocking 
You’ll have to open it 
That’s what I’m hoping 

Come apart in color 
Shades of you 
In better parts of me 
Covered us in deep blue 
While I’m bleeding

Purple haze 
The way you taste 
deep enough to drown in 

Lavender 
The way it hurts 
Love leaves pretty bruises 

Ultraviolet 
You’re still fighting 
I’m certain i just 
Colored 
in your lies

Turn around and you chase me
Swear that you only want me when I don’t 
Like to play Tug of war with my patience 
I can’t take it

This time I know it’s fleeting
The stars align for a while and then they move
Chalk it up as a loss and conceding
You don’t mean it 

Come apart in color 
Shades of you 
In better parts of me 
Covered us in deep blue 
While I’m bleeding

Purple haze 
The way you taste 
deep enough to drown in 

Lavender 
The way it hurts 
Love leaves pretty bruises 

Ultraviolet 
You’re still fighting 
I’m certain i just 
Colored 
in your lies

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ultraviolet

Rediscovered this tune while playing through some old CFBK jams.  This song was written about a couple struggling to make things work with distance.    

@candyforbigkids

~~~~~~~

Running through the hallways of my mind wonderin
If there was something obvious I missed
This wouldn’t be the first time
And I guess I wasn’t thinking 
When I said that we could handle it

You’re far enough away that it hurts to reach out
But close enough to make me forget    
Why I’m leaving in the first place                       
Swear I never meant to do this
As I’m staring at your faded silhouette

Cuz I can’t feel you
I can’t feel you at all
I’m only glad that there’s not too far left to fall
Cuz I can’t feel you
I can’t feel you at all
I know you’re crying, waiting for my call

You’re tryin hardest to pull me back here
But I know that I’m already too far gone
Somewhere along the line
I misplaced my captivation
For the way your eyes convince me I’m wrong  
There’s nothing left of me that I have to offer
But ‘til I take the train down, we’ll be okay
Give me two more weeks of ‘not enough’ 
And same old conversations
We’ll pretend that we still have a ‘someday’     

Cuz I can’t feel you 
I can’t feel you at all
I’ only glad that there’s not too far left to fall
Cuz I can’t feel you
I can’t feel you at all
I know you’re crying, waiting for my call

can't feel you

~ A spooky song for a spooky time ~

Does it matter if you mean it?
Feed me any line you ever wrote 
And I’ll pretend 
You never would repeat it 
See right through you 
Every wall lit up in red 

Waxing and waning 
Fear is a mutual friend 
Nothing is sacred 
Redwoods and picket fences 

If all I can do is haunt 
You’ll hide behind a mask and scare me off 
Devil with a different name
Ghost with a familiar face 

Walking through your walls again 
Say you’re someone else,
I’m cautious of it 
Creature with a hidden heart
Echo of the things I lost 

Weigh me down in cycles 
Get to where I think I should be 
How’d you get here first?
Tugging on your shadows
Love your vices 
Like they’ve never left me burnt

haunt

Head in my lap 
I know too much 
to want anything less

Chin on your shoulder
Tracing your lines
Where have you been?  

Learn me if I let you
Teach me if I’ll listen 
Secrets that I spell out 
Tieing off our loose ends 

I’m getting lighter
The longer I stay 
I’m giving it up 

Leave it behind
I’m coming your way 
It’s More than enough

Seeing in pastel 
Walking on air
It’s all heading up 

Taking what’s left
I’ll spend my weekends 
On lilac love

lilac love

Half my life you come and go
I would follow you right out 
yellow daisies line the road
It’s what’s past them, I wanna hear about 

They say Good things come in threes 
They’re getting louder every time 
Drag my head until I bleed 
To drown them out, I’d give it a try 

Head in the sink
“What did I do to deserve you”
Thorns in my feet 
Cut and pasted in; a tattoo
Don’t want you to leave 
Eden in the backyard 
And I’m liking what I see 
Chloe  
 
Staying close, don’t pull ahead 
Stick to things that are my size
Think I’ll break the rules 
Pin me down 
Ignore my Advice

chloe

You’re running laps around my mind 
catch your breath
And tell me what you think of trying 
To take what’s left
And make a scene 
Getting rich on dirty money 
Bad behavior I could surely get behind 

Walk the bridge a second time 
Deja Vu 
Trace my steps and read your mind 
You’re a stranger 
I don’t know
But I swear I met you years ago
All I see is what I recognize  

But if you 
Ask me
If I can find my way around 
In the dark 
Your headspace 
Feels familiar I just said it out loud 
Break the rules and get to know you better
Half as bad and twice as clever 

And if I 
Tell you
It’s too soon but I just know
That I could
Get used to
Getting lost with you wherever we go 
Break the rules and get to know you better 
Half as bad and twice as clever

dirty money

Mixed/mastered/synths by About Esme :) 

———————

I’m starting to wonder
If times before 
Were mistakes that I stuttered aloud 
Wrinkles in my life 
I feel you smoothing me out 

You make it look easy 
Teaching the expert 
Beginners luck shut my pride down 
Falling into you 
is half as hard as it sounds 

Let you in
Doesn’t mean I’m giving up
Stubborn heart 
Baby 
Won’t you say it first 
It’s not a game
But I can’t get it the rules out my head
Tender mind
Baby 
Won’t you say it first 

Did anyone tell you
It’s not a game 
But I’m racing
Your slow beating heart
Pick up the pace
I’m impatient 
You’re slow to depart

So I take a step back
To take it all in
You’re an artist 
And taking your time
It’s hard to believe 
What you’re making
Of things
I swear I couldn’t find

Beginner’s Luck (demo)

singer/songwriter & guitarist, playing music & pretend xx

ashley

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