CATALYZED & FEEL SO ANEMIC [+INSTRUMENTALS]

download:
https://www.mediafire.com/file/1t1f0e6vbz50k8g/%25F0%259D%2593%259Besions_-_CATALYZED%252C_I_FEEL_SO_ANEMIC.zip/file

CATALYZED, I FEEL SO ANEMIC.

broken+\bonds [so be it.]

never one single saint, we will all cinerate.
produced by @dancinginrainfall

outcast, hexen, please end me
death to all of those who envy
if yu gon shoot that gun then keep it steady
my eyes see death, im ready

dark magician, with my cards ill make yu fade away
xvi the tower, bouta rip yu out ya space
take yu down into the depths of which yu cant escape
i can feel all of my malice contorting my fuckin face
trapped inside a crystal palace, so shattered, no place is safe
all i feel now is rage, losin all of my sane
everyone act the same, no difference hind the face
never one single saint, we will all cinerate.

always on the fence, it never make sense
hexen in my head, this pain is too dense
growing ever sick of living in the past tense
i dont know how to push thru, how to mend
always on the fence it never make sense
hexen in my head, this pain will never end
i been running down the streets of my own worst regrets
yu dont know shit about me, or what goes on in my head

HEXEN | OUTCAST [PROD. MISERYPRISM]

muerte my best friend 🏴‍☠️
prod me nd @kingfelix

feel like i been losin patience, allat shit so wasted
tryna not fall to complacence, this world might be sadist
aint nun savin me, my blood gon stain that dirt nd paint it
all typsa red, lesions gonna make this canvas leak
off the top my head, yu gon watch all o that scarlet creep
down into that scarlet creek
bloodsport all i wreak
death is all i speak

legions in my fuckin brain, i could never sleep
i got leeches in my way, i know they tryna feed
they tryna rip out all the iron in my art (they take frm me)
im so tired of it, im leakin out my heart (blood, sweat nd tears)
this shit burstin thru my ears, turn up the noise til i cant hear
am i even here? am i even real?? (disassociate, associate)
disassociate til im at the gates
yea i look at myself like "what a waste"
i jus wanna unsee my face.

soulcrushing「+kingfelix」##deathcycles

accumulated auditory research w/ friends.

[I] sporadic vexation +@dancinginrainfall

[II] psychopomp +@s3r3n3gr4c3

[III] ichise +@chewy

[IV] sparda +@jvckrxid

[V] phaselock +@kutliss

[VI] hellish tactics +@yuracual

[VII] disillusion +@somaiki nd @stwllo319

[VIII] ebony nd ivory +@yuracual 
[ https://soundcloud.com/yuracual/ushi-entral-ebony-n-ivory-yura ]

[IX] terra incognita +@chewy nd @bobbyhorror

[X] redgrave +@somaiki 
[ https://soundcloud.com/sinefelt/skin ]

[XI] neuralware +@underagrandcanopy
[ https://soundcloud.com/thalonewulf/raw-97struggler-chw ]

[XII] kodama +@dancinginrainfall, @chewy nd @clay10

august biotechnica showcase | lesional neuropathy ##avexacortexa

wake up, same shi.
produced by @inveja w/ extra frm me

also no lyrics cuz fuck yu im not transcribin this bullshit

wht is it worth?「+inveja」

https://psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Dextroamphetamine

lesions @searingthrume

all i ever seem to do is stress now
too much in my system, i cant calm down
all i ever seem to do is stress now
fuck all of this shi i tried to break out
shi not strong enough, shi not strong enough
all such a waste, why the fuck do i try?
they all rob me for time, bleed me for rust
i cant take it, i cant take it

wake up wake up, mornin hits im breakin shi
i gotta get the stakes up, ion think im fried enough
ion think i died enough, funny i aint dead enough
lowkey they not fuckin with me, gon erode my trust to rust
lesions on my body, got too many scars on me
so much stress yeh it make it hard to breathe
got amphet, caffeine im splittin at the seams
fuck the way shi been goin, need some ass nd some weed
gimme yasuyuki jeans, 14 addy on my sleeve
kmrii tassels on my jacket, wearin all black japanese
me nd twin pull up, watch as we be netrunnin the scene

miseryprism @dancinginrainfall

i said too much in my system
barely breathing yeah its not enough
iv 3-HO-PCE bitch im not gone enough
hella GHB bitch im enthralled wit ur lust
cyclohexanol tranquilize me beyond rescuing
takahara boots wit dat leather print studs
walk up in that bitch im causing hell to raise up
girl ur nails in my skin feel better than drugs
snort that coke up of ur bra
now we fucking shit up
methylmethaqualone n my head 
piercing thru my skin
this pain will never end
when i recollect
4-Methylaminorex
ill never rest
up the fye if no reverence
cyclohexanol tranquilize me beyond rescuing
surround my heart
bitch js let me in
mixing klonopin
cant feel a thing, cant feel a thing
codeine, bitch im falling thru the floor
hydroxetamine , give me wisdom i cant ignore
i just need more
its a damn chore
encompass my whole body not a metaphor
amphetamine, amphetamine
in my gahdamn fucking system bitch im feeling me
bitch im fed of u
im in a trance, bitch 
2 shots in his chest
i cant fucking rest
Walk out n a damn vest
im js stuck in time
erase the fucking past
dual wield acp pull dat flash out hit em gahdamn
too many faces gotta stand down
study darkness innis bitch

RUSTLETTING 🩸 w/ MISERYPRISM

am i evn makin sense now?? :/
prod w/ @dancinginrainfall nd @kutliss

lesions @searingthrume

posted up in hell, im fallin down em rings
devil may cry, devil may sing
i been losin top my head, im goin hellsing
screamin til my whole head ring
feel like dante, half yall i cant fckn claim
barin fangs up out ya face, naw we'll never be the same
aint shit gon work out.. i know what yu on, get out.
all i ever do is sit arnd nd bleed out, lesions all over my skin
all i ever knew is rage, all i know now..
am i even makin sense now??
fuck allat shi, rather sleep on my floor
green bills, blue pills
want it all, need it more
my chems so fucked, what i adore

miseryprism @dancinginrainfall

???

down em rings「+miseryprism nd kutliss」

yur so fₐ𝓾𝔵 [faux chemists]

gotta crawl my way out somehow :/
prod @dancinginrainfall w/ extra frm me

whole brain fucked up, drowned in woes
lurkin on my proxy, feelin like a ghost
ill wield my heretics, gon crawl out of these rags
research chems up in my bag i got that ??? das a straftat
tryna crawl my way out, they dont get what im tryn do.
im tryna crawl my way out, get it? they dont get it..
they not fuckin wit heretical law... they said fuck the proxy.
feel like vincent, none these folk gon stop til they done got me
tryn kill me off like bitch, who yu think yu are? das rich
talkin like yu fuckin own me? ill leave yu in a ditch
they been talkin so much shi 
now they tryna follow in my footsteps like they above me im so done
got so much rust buildup on my mental
gonna give me tetanus if yu aint careful
been bleedin from my head for way2 long
its leakin on my hands, yea its leakin on my hands

bouta start breakin errything in my vision i hate it all, yea i hate it all
took a couple addys, hope it stop the breakdown
still losin control, gotta fight now
autotune fuckin up like why now??
all my chemical compounds, they breakin down
i'm fallin2 pieces :///

Heretical Law「+miseryprism」##hexen4ever

@dancinginrainfall
@enemyism

tired of tryna push thru
head hurt, i cant get it thru [get to yu]
those words yu spoke so cursed 
i cant fckn take it
i miss ur skin so baddd
im so cracked nd i cant take it
my mind been so gone, i cant fake it

look at my face, dont know what to say.. 
i watched me break :/
dont even think for a fckn second we the same
shufflin in silence cuz im privy to ur games
wander round my fckn room wit apathy, i'll break like errythang
goddamn, im so brain damned
sick nd tired of like fckn errythang
goddamn, im so brain damned
nd i dont think theres a way outta this mess

brain damned </3「+miseryprism」[hosted by dj enzara 🤹]

nevrr gon fold ..
prod me, @inveja nd @dancinginrainfall

wake up, hurt like hell
rlly struggln 2tryna feel well
it dont feel possible at all
falln down em rings, i cant see a thing
head hurts so bad, but we nevr gon fold
hurts so bad, tryn get up out this place
the world is so decrepit nd im pale in the face
woes been burnin, "what a wasteee"
this fall is gon be the death4 usss
feel like im in hell, theres no savin usss
nevr feel well, can i salvage usss???
fucked up frame of headspace, i cant kill meeee
dont even say yu do cuz yu could nevr feel meeeee

turnt2dust [hurt like hell]「+inveja nd miseryprism」

result of tha damage
prod @yuracual

been tryn crawl out since day1, said fukit all
tryn feel sumn but i cant, yea im fucked up
only thing i seem to be good at is damage
named myself lesions after all tha damage
king of self sabotage :/
nd they always gon move weird nd get gone
trust me when i say it, i dont wantchu gone
dont evn know if i care if this sounds off

worried bout typa distance, tha dopamine
cant tell who been real or fake, do yu evn feel me?
bout a dozen mssgs nd they left on seen
isolation neuropathy yea theres blood on my sink
blood leakin on my sink. .
"wht tha fuck is wrong wit yu?" what do yu think?
millis upon millis in my system, i been breakin on things
i hate that i notice errything, i hate i see tha distance

erry1 arnd me so distant, so distant(2x)

[need]all tha damage [prod yuracual]

new + old research snippets w/ friends :)

wisdom | research | evolution @avexacortexa

[I] chev chelios +@dancinginrainfall

[II] GABAA-rho +@dancinginrainfall

[III] qbittorrent [solo]
[ https://soundcloud.com/searingthrume/catalyzed ]

[IV] turnt2dust +@inveja nd @dancinginrainfall
[ https://soundcloud.com/searingthrume/hurt-like-hell ]

[V] mothership +@ihatejugo nd @kutliss

[VI] bathed in mercury +@kutliss nd @dancinginrainfall

[VII] feel so anemic [solo] *draft vers
[ https://soundcloud.com/searingthrume/feel-so-anemic ]

[VIII] phytochemicals +@chewy

[IX] hell2pay +@gr0lth

[X] cybermancy +@chewy

[XI] feel so baddd [solo]

[XII] faux +@alongthewalls

[XIII] anhedoniac +@kutliss

April Research Showcase | 5-HT2A Full Agonist [283.4 g/mol] ##AvexaCortexa

feel stuck in this place
prod @dancinginrainfall s/o twin

this anhedonia is breakn my brain
tired of this ion wanna be awake
swear i wake up it always been the same shi
ion know nuthin else jus remember this
cant rest when i sleep i see they faces
hate how the game go yea its fuck this
brain always erodin im tired of it
hate feelin like this but yu learn2 love it
hate how im always so self-destructive
all i do now is sedate2 mitigate
walkin round for so long ion know my place
so inane so i been losin my way
shawty come2 me if yu feel lost we'll find a way
yea i swear2 god i'll help yu yea i'll find a way

i swear it's gotta work somehow
not gon let it fall now
gon make a way somehow

i got problems wit it
way yu[majority] look at me it's
fuckin wit my head nd
ion wanna feel this
do yu feel my lesions?
trauma time intention
always emotional rut
dwell on the gutter so done
hate like errything when i wake up i wish i was gone
dont need another death cycle no nooo
i dont need another death cycle no nooooo
i cant keep killin my egoooo.. :/

Sedate My Corrosion [prod miseryprism]

down2 self-dissonancy
prod @dancinginrainfall w/ extra frm me

@searingthrume
ima carve my own way out
dont evn try2 doubt me, it wont work, no.
sinkin in this room, i feel like im on death row
sick of feelin like this, yea, ima choke.
fuck tha world, hate it all, tryna find a moat
all in tha distance now, like what happened??
feel so detached from like errything its maddening
[french]femme belle, why do this to me??
yur jus what i need
dont tell me that yur wary of me now???
im tired of breaking down.. :/
yea i feel so worthless as im spillin my guts
i aint fuckin wit it, no. im not fuckin wit it.
its fuckin wit my motions, ruin nervous system
realization set in.. so done, so done...

@sinefelt
everything's breaking apart
u been all up on my buttons
like ur tryna whip a damn push 2start
u been playin w my heart
can't tell if u mean harm
either way u cld keep ur mouth shut
bitch shut the fuck up
don't play that card
can't tell what i shouldn't be taking
u know that shit 2 n use it
i shoulda known tho, that's my fault
u waved plenty flags ur putrid

i know i'm not the only one
discounted me, we're done
i just wanna sit down
roll up quick
n nvr go see the sun

damn
i think that i might b losing it
i wonder if u felt the same
if u did i couldn't imagine it
u wouldn't be playing these games

at least i don't think so
can't let me miss your ringtone
if i do it's game over
if i do then u won
bitch pls shut the fuck up
stop lying u don't worry bout me tons

always spills out「+sinefelt nd miseryprism」

yu agonize me <3
prod me nd @dancinginrainfall

lyrics
:
i swear2 gawd
yea i cant keep goin on like this
before i met yu i aint feel a thing
carbon bond baby tell me if yu feel that
wasnt lyin when i said i think i need that
yu agonize my bonds, its that magic
turnin my head2 soup
seepin in my heart, chains gettn cut thru
feel yu get me the depth is insanity
2:2 swear her mind feel so close2 me
pull me out the fuckery, pull me outta errything
rlly hope yu feel the same wayyy
way we talk like erryday does sumn2 my brain
hope yu get what the fuk i been sayinnn
swear it b that magic k, yea that magic k

agonize my heart
agonize my bonds
agonize me
tell me whatchu want
nevr want yu gone
love what yu do to my chemistry
only one that i want
think yur jus what i need
see all these other folks?
they could never get me

agonize my bonds.. ♡♡「+miseryprism」##1:1

i strive for what i want .
prod by @yuracual s/o tito
:
sick of yellin at my fuckn wall.
open up my home screen, got like zero calls.
throw that glass slate in the ocean, sick of all this typa wrong.
fckn wit my braincells, killin em all off one by one.
know they all say this shit but im tryn die fore 21.
all the bullshit be crankin up, im not havin fun.
nevrr gon fuckn fall cuz thats jus watchu want.
situational awareness silly bitch, i aint dumb.
nevrr gon fuckn fall cuz thats not what i want.
nd i strive for what i want, nd i don't need yur net chips.
shawty prolly think im weird cuz she done seen my head spill.
ion fuck wit lesions either, its aight i know the deal.

if yu tryn test me then fuck out the way.
man i really aint the one, fuck arnd nd break ya face.
leave yu like a puddle on da floor, what a waste.
if they playin typa bullshit at the party, shoot the place.

TestN²Much [prod. by yuracual]

doused in rain, oxidizing in the sun.
prod @inveja nd @dancinginrainfall
:
yea theres vomit all on my floor
i know how it goes, seen this b4
been too detached, nausea, on tha floor
yea i hate the way my head work, i need more
is she gettn what im saying? i been speakin thru the art
hate that we so far apart, plz jus lemme in yur heartttt
do yu evn get what i been tryn say?
hope yu ain't think i been weird but that yu aint say
dont evn think we gotta say it, know im insane
its that a.v.e.x.a. 1:1, fuckd in the brain
swear1 episode a day, but i want change
i been dancin in the rain cuz it wont fade
i know how yu like the rain, hope yu dont fade
i like what yu been doin2 my brain
been so oxidized, reverse the bleedin
look into my eyes, yeh i need it
lemme know yu feel it, like im feelin it
fore i met yu, swear i ain't feel shit
swear i ain't feel shit
yea i ain't feel shit but now i do.

raindance | oxidize 🜞 [prod inveja nd miseryprism]

but alas, ion got a choice .
production by @dancinginrainfall
:
all these thoughts been surgin thru my head
ion like it, it feel like fireeee
don't wanna be me, yu'd get so sick nd tireddd
like don't even try.. don't evn try it .
fuck lookn up to me, ion wanna be yur sire
not yur role model, fuck yur feelins on the wired
losin my shit, neurons like a livewire
so longgg, so doneee, so goneee
it's not working... (3x)
i don't wanna be me.. ion wANNA BE ME .
WOULDN'T WANNA BE ME .
FUCK IT ALL, I HATE ME .

a53Spirit.. ('til i die) 🝇 [prod miseryprism]

stepnn on mah nervess
@yungsushihoe prod me nd @083lxcvs

SUSHI$ENTRAL - KILLING SPREE「Prod 𝓛es nd LXCVS」

feel sumn again nd she's my catalyst
produced by moiiii @searingthrume

download:
https://www.mediafire.com/file/1t1f0e6vbz50k8g/%25F0%259D%2593%259Besions_-_CATALYZED%252C_I_FEEL_SO_ANEMIC.zip/file

lyrics

:
head hurt, brain hurt, pain stackin up
i got lesser bandwidth in my system :/
said no more, told me no more.
yea this feelin so inane, i feel so forlorn
so damn bored erryday nd i dont know how to gauge it
nd im not the fckn type to fake it
i need yu so bad(3x)
tryna crawl out, i been slippn onnem rocks
so damn worried ima fall down
too damn droned nd im worried ima fall out
too worried bout how ima crash down
too worried bout none of this evn makin sense
dont evn think it did before, jus look inside my head
runnin round in hexen, it dont evn make sense(2x)

CATALYZED 🤹‍♀️ Prod 𝓛es

racket onn racket o(TヘTo)
prod by @jvckrxid nd @tommy7 
+++xtra frm moi .

ion fuckn need yu, if yu on mah nerves, get back
always tryn talk smack, its racket on racket
funny how yu talkin, yu aint on shit, step back
talkin on me? bitch, yu in tha loser bracket
so much to say, guess we aint the same
invadin my space, get out of my brain ho
think yu knowin pain? lesion gonna show yo
fuck yu think me talkin bout skinnin folk is? it aint fo show

i got rocks in my pocket, aim it at ya temple
i got blades on my hands, yea we scrapin metal
i got rocks in my pocket, aim it at ya temple
i got blades on my hands, bitch im scrapin metal

upp in my way? ima stomp ya shi
milwaukee boots, blood streaked sin
get ya skull crushed, i dont feel a thing
bloodlust, brainfucked, burnin cords singe.

[ bullshit outro whtvrr ]

POCKET ROCKZz 🪨🩸 [Prod Jv nd Tommy7]

my nerves are but a stepping stone .
produced by @1812922

ion got time4 how yu move
i don't got time4 how yu move, jus go.
nd the way that i been livin.. it been gettn old.
turnt up like shi, i'ma turn up, throw a fit.
bump it up, turn it up til i can't hear a thing
i don't wanna hear shit, i don't wanna feel shit
i don't feel a thing, i don't feel a thing
i don't feel a thing, i don't feel a thing

way too much fuckn stress
don't know how2 handle that
'member where i put the meds?
my head is such a mess
somethin yu cannot comprehend
nothing on server, contraband
network lurker, my fucking plan?
to suffocate, digi sand-
gon kill me, my head
gon thrill me, my head
gon thrill me, my head
gon kill me, my head-

Passion For Dejection [Prod. Blank Body] ##AvexaCortexa

[old demo frm a rlly bad time]
produced by @saveme

i don't know how to take that statement
i don't wann become too comfortable, complacent
same old bullshit, no other choice but face it.

lookin in the mirror, i can't make that out
trauma in my spirit, uppin millis, curb the doubt
all alone fo 20 years, i been up in a cloud
nearly drowned me in the water, screamin way too loud
scratches on my body, i've been bleedin out
why tell me how to feel now, are yu real now?
so sick of barkin real loud, bring the place down
need a wayy outtt, need my way outtt

sick of feelin rage as if my skully need too yell
i miss days when i ain't feel like my nerves down in hell
why do yu want away from me? i dwell on this.
i hate a fit, but this rediculous shit wont cease for nothing
worked too hard, now my skin is blooded
emotion overdrawn like we fuckin on nd off
think i'm way too fuckn gone, neurologically i'm rotting away

ComplacencyChainZz prod save me

keep it together @ all costs..
produced by @dancinginrainfall

tightenin my nerves up, stressin me surplus
leakin bloody rust, dey like "les why yu so nuts?"
feelin fucked 24/7, cranked [e]leven
nine2 five? i'll get it out wit ninety seven, get the message.
many to expel out down from hell nd yu keep testin me
harsh air searin thru my lungs, i barely feel2 breathe
faux creepin round nd drown in light das seepin round me
give no fuck bout how yu soundin
kill the ego, where yo groundin @?
so gone . that shit dead. yo whole self image a .44 to ya head.
now yu liking damage? yu better come fo da neck.
know yu pissed off cuz yo father is AVX @avexacortexa
keep runnin mouth nd i'll get yu so nerve wrenched
lesion tech, hex code i inject wit my blade fo yo soul
yu a wreck, aim at neck, cuz yo movement gettin old
[me]dusa's only one snake that looked back nd turnt stone

Nerves Wrenched, Falling Apart. [prod. by miseryprism]

been vaulted too long lol fuckit
produced by yurs truly <3

download:
https://www.mediafire.com/file/1t1f0e6vbz50k8g/%25F0%259D%2593%259Besions_-_CATALYZED%252C_I_FEEL_SO_ANEMIC.zip/file

lyrics

:
feel anemic, bitch i'm bleedn.
quell the bleedn, can yu feel it?
tell me i'ma be fine, baby i need it. ://
leakn frm my head too much, i conceal it.
so many problems that i can't even on my own.
think i feel it in my bones, how i'm gonna choke.
when i'ma go? i don't evn fuckn know.
think all i want is for yu to keep me close.

weight so heavy. feel so empty.
can't rest no more. can't feel my core.
i'm faceless.. he gone, erased.
don't wanna feel inane [i don't wanna feel inane..]
feelin like a painting, but nobody tryn frame.
i feel so insane, baby i know i'm insane.
ion een wanna talk. fuckd my head up, get away.

FEEL SO ANEMIC 🩸 Prod 𝓛es

i'm so properr i'm so wit ittt 
produced by @kana_x s/o cuz

[spellscasted @spellscasted]
makin this money, im breakin the bank
talkin on ig ho, what is yo rank?
bullets erasin em jus like a tank
saturn, spellscasted ho, whatd u think?
raisin the bar n i take it away
they say i got it on, feelin no weight
all u parrots copy paste
u could never follow my pace
i could never fall on my face
thank god ho, oh im so based
she said she could feel the bass in her socks
i admit it ho, i did it
im so proper, im so with it
im so winnin, they dont get it
im the shit lil bitch, i been it
call my bro up like "we did it"
switched so fast, my car got dented
why u flexin? u jus rented
i got money on my pendant
18 ho, im independent

[lesions @searingthrume]
20 woe, i'm in a panic.
no one know extent of damage.
to my psyche, “don't care if yu like me.”
bitin all our work nd spielin words up, tryn spite thee. 
fooly without cooly, we not coolin bitch like die, please.
right need, no peace. pick one? no sleep.
dyin if i gotta make it work might be the price b.
tryin even if it gotta hurt more for my rite. 
bleedin everytime i try to get me right, screamin at night. 
sick of starin out my eyes, confront every white lie.
everything i choose to say is bona fide, so do me right.
will yu tho? femme fatale got me in a fucking vice.
sick of all the same strife, same blight, too blind.

SPLiTTER ⚔️ w/ SPELLSCASTED [Prod. by Kana X]

original - https://soundcloud.com/searingthrume/catalyzed

download:
https://www.mediafire.com/file/1t1f0e6vbz50k8g/%25F0%259D%2593%259Besions_-_CATALYZED%252C_I_FEEL_SO_ANEMIC.zip/file

ib @1812922 nd @acounta

CATALYZED[inst]

original - https://soundcloud.com/searingthrume/feel-so-anemic

download:
https://www.mediafire.com/file/1t1f0e6vbz50k8g/%25F0%259D%2593%259Besions_-_CATALYZED%252C_I_FEEL_SO_ANEMIC.zip/file

FEEL SO ANEMIC[inst]

..nd don't walk in my way.
production by @ayechris214

lyrics
:
watch where the fuck yu walk nd don't walk in my way
feel so off, my brain is frayed. 
i got holes in mah clothes, pop a stim to the frame
yea, step up to me nd i'm 'sho to swang the blade.
i don't jack a wave, i do what i want at any pace
that i choose, i don't care if yu click up on my face
cuz yu lose, swear that's all yu do. 
talk online, act like a fool.
talkin bout it 'stead o doin shit, yu don’t know watchu do
but me, always knew. it's why i stick to movin true.
actin somethin like yu'd only make me freeze up my room.
yu don't got what it take, yu not addicted to this shit.
yu do not know what i do for it, coughin blood up in my sink.
swear the shit yu do be boring, so i'll broadcast what i think.
if it help yu take it personal, i'll write it down in ink.

Watch Where Yu Walk (prod. by AYECHRIS) 「 EP SOON 」

[🝎] covered in lesions
architect @avexacortexa
++ @inverseinterpolate

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