Via train of thought narrative, i recall the graphic details of the most horrific car crash i was ever in. The frame of the instrumental (although significant revised and grown later) was written right after the crash happened back in high school.


Lyrics:

A jarring impact
The air's escaped from my body
I gasp for air
I look over to the drivers seat
And I see your head's... tilted back
I call you and you don't respond
And I think... Your neck has snapped 

In absolute horror
I exit and try to make sense of what's happening
And it's so quiet...
And I look back to the car 
And see another 
Exiting the car
Screaming
Face full of blood
And there's nothing I can do to help.

You've made your way out 
But blood still fills the sockets of your eyes
My friend...

I feel despair
Roll over me
Thinking back to the day;
Carefree...
Now I hear the scream

Maybe I... Maybe I could have died
Maybe I... Maybe I

Another set of headlights 
And someone can help
A kindness not under appreciated
... The pure chaos of luck
As I realise...
If I had sat where you'd been...
If I had sat where you'd been,
Would I have been so lucky?

Normalcy returns,
The sickening blandness of hospital walls.
I scare my loved ones to death
Trying to say I'm okay.

A scared I love you has a disconcerted feel,
No matter the situation.

I scare my loved ones to death
Trying to say I'm okay.

Maybe I... Maybe I could have died
Maybe I... Maybe I...

I saw a moment of light
And braced for impact

Maybe I... ...

Expression of statistic...
Chaos has no rhyme.

I open the door 
And I gasp for air

Memories Of Shattered Glass

My rendition and extrapolation of the main score of 28 Days later. Originally by John Murphy.

In The House, In A Heartbeat

Forget

Once fear takes hold there is no such word as will.

A Fleeting Panic

One of my favorite songs I've written so far, this doesn't have lyrics or vocals yet but the idea of the song is being in a perpetual nightmare you never wake up from, knowing that only fear and horror awaits you in brief moments where you experience only sadness, wonder and awe.

Coma

Forgiveness

Lyrics:

Once upon a time,
floating through wrinkles in the panic of fear
I felt so alive,
when I knew that nothing was fine. 

These places in my dreams 
Im homesick for
I've forgotten long ago what it takes for me to feel whole

A longing fills my mind,
Blocking out every semblance of peace
I've forgotten long ago what it takes for me to feel whole

All These Memories we wish we could forget…

I never realized, what I had
Selfish, hopeless. 
The hammer minus the sickle.
Ive lost any compassion I once felt
Your misery, seems to me:
Backgrounds of annoyance.
Consider this an Apology,
Im too ashamed to deliver…


Guard up heart to the wayside 
Because we hurt so bad, we can't trust.
Growing bitter everyday, Growing old and bitter everyday.

Artificial Agony

When You're Gone

Mendax
This train of thought
A catastrophe waiting to happen
A cookie cutter life devoid of the passion
That yields worth
Build and reinforce this cage of life
A superego run rampant and out of control
The poetry of death is just an editing trick
Faith as a crutch
Forgive me
For my disgust
Contempt as reaction to pain
Guilt and anger summing to frustration
All too perfect to deal with our problems
Square one and we still can't move past
Programmed emotions,
Now outdated
Living life as if a pointed gun
This life is judgement enough
This road leads to nowhere
Mind of madness lacking a heart 
We are all the victims
And i wonder
As I wander
Why?

Mendax

The music I need to make to keep me sane, because I love it more than anything else in this world, and because music has done so much for me. 

Self Tilted

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