All tracks produced by .SELF
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by .SELF and Grade A Music
Artwork photography by Emanuel Araiza
Artwork design by .SELF and Kailee Miller

A special thank you to everyone who lent their voices to this project. Your contributions made it possible for me to finally create something that was bigger than myself.

City With a Heart

Life Goes On

Lyrics:
September 11th, 1998
At eleven minutes until midnight, I tried escaping 
From the angel that had held me nine months in incubation 
Though, little did I know of the world that was out there waiting 
And fluorescent light that touched my face before a UV ray did, blinded me 
The silence, for a second, deafening
Waiting for a scream to come from me, had to have patience
A c-section baby, the cord they were severing was like a snake

A constrictor ‘round my neck, my purple face

But I screamed, of course 
The dream was yours when you picked out my name
A TV streamed a credit roll that told you I was brave
Ignored the fact I had no dad, and you became the same
Held me in your arms as best you could, know they were shaky
But you welcomed me into this Earth with love and as your baby
Thankful you and Grandma did your best to try to raise me 
In a home that felt so lonely on our own until you prayed
Asking God to send a father who would care for me the same, and then he came
I still think back to days we were cleaning out that old house
Lived in Mishawaka, now we’re moving to a new town
Mom moved in with Pops in Glenwood Park, they made an artist of me
Picked up a guitar and sang the pain inside my heart out

Dad had asked a friend of his that played if he could teach me
School choir solos and features ‘cause I was decent
Constant singing, swooning girlfriends I couldn’t see
I needed keys and freedom, wishing I was sixteen 

Started playing shows with my guitar teacher for fun he
Taught me to perform and how to hear a harmony
But I was growing up unsure of who I was becoming
And I gave up on the band because I hated playing country
Once my friends introduced me to Kanye and Kid Cudi
K-Dot, Jay Rock, Q, Ab-Soul, A$AP, and Young Money
Pro Era, OF, Frank Ocean, J. Cole, Jhene Aiko, XO 
I heard The Weeknd for the first time it was over
I owe what I’ve started to the city with a heart
‘Cause if I’d never met BK, I would have never been an artist
And if I never met Drevantae, then times that life was hardest, I’d have slowly started killing myself as an alcoholic
And if I had never failed relationships, they’d never taught me just how valuable a friend is when you need someone to call
Someone to see the best in you if you see none at all
Accept your flaws, show you love within this song 

And hope you’ll miss me when I’m gone
‘Cause you know I can’t stay too long
I’m tryna make the life I want
In the stars
I still regret some things I’ve done
And wonder who I have become
But that won’t keep me from your love
Or your arms
In the city with a heart

I hope you’ll miss me when I’m gone
‘Cause you know I can’t stay too long
But that won’t keep me from your love
Or your arms
In the city with a heart

Lyrics:
Boy, that ain't pure snow, they crushed Allegra in the product
I left on a high note they were singing to the coppers
Man, this not no Sopranos
M.O.B. but we not mobsters
Got a thot look like an R&B diva, but she’s a bopper
Got a broad look like a popstar, she’s just a pill popper
Got a lodge where the coldest blizzards are for when I’m a goner
So I’ll go ghost if I gotta
Need CoCo on my collar
She said she wanna go to Ramada
Girl, that Hotel Rwanda?
I’d rather cool with The Armada
In designer Armani, Prada
Orchestrate midnight sonatas
I’m straight on playing, partner
Put gay hoes in collages
This bankroll where my mind is
Ain’t no dividing or minus
Not a mathematician, man, this shit science
If the cash late, I get violent
She just masturbate ‘til I fly in
I don’t ever let her come to my ends
Get too comfortable, you get lined up
I can’t go that way, man, I’m a lion
But I signed up, so when my time’s up, I’ma hope I go with perfect timing
Still the iron tucked, I’ll make a nine bust
And I’ma aim this bitch at your eyelids
Ask what’s what? Hoe, I’m is
Insanely sadistic in just an instant, get to tripping
You go missing, I ain’t kidding
If you think I am, go ahead, risk it
Staying ahead, I’m on pivot
No entourage, I ain’t Jeremy Piven, nigga

Whip the Civic through the city, all my windows down
Kickin’ it with little miss I’m my own boss, want a building downtown
And a backyard for the dogs and the kids at our house
I said our house, it just slipped out but I love how that sounds
In a state of indecision
I came away from that accident more grateful for existence
Then I made a commitment
24, planning my funeral
Saw a ghost when you came to the show
Had no heart left, gave you my soul
Turned the hotel room to a studio
‘Cause I love when you scream my name
In way deeper than usual
Told you some things only you should know
A clear mind this time ‘cause I’m through with snow
Grew up, let go of my groupie hoes
No bad juju or bruised ego
I’m happy because I have you at home and you
Show me, baby, how much I have grown
Show me, baby, how much I have grown
Show me, baby, how much I have grown
Come grab me from the hotel

Hotel Elkhart (feat. Paul Ke11y)

Lyrics:
Found you and you’re carrying me
It’s all good when you got me with you
God knew you’d be something to me
And I knew that there was demons in you

Lost him the day you found your way to me
Promised I’d always be there when you need
Watched you just take the heart off of my sleeve
Gosh, woman, would you please just let me breathe?
Romanée-Conti in a wine glass
Mesmerized, staring at you as the time passes
And dilated hazel eyes say you’d bite back
But act civilized for tonight ‘cause I like having a conversation over dinner

Girl, I want that
Do you want that?

This isn’t lust, I just admire how you’re carrying the whole world
Pressure you take upon your shoulders sculpted all your beauty
Radiating from you, flowing through me
Woah
I know
You said, “I always fall in love but in the end, I’m always wrong”
And girl, I feel you
Holding onto what’s left of a heart that never healed 
Scarred and you don’t know to whom you can reveal the real you
Know you need time, my dear, for you, I’d wait on
Then we could have it all
Even your mother keeps tryna get us involved
Said she wants to be my mother-in-law
If I’m all in
And I’m all in

Girl, I want that
Do you want that? 

Ya know
I’m in awe of your aura 
I’m amazed by your grace 
If I had never made mine, would you have made your mistakes?
Your presence, your essence, they’re sunrays to my face 
This house is haunted without you, you’re the shake to my bake, ya know 
You still think I want my cake so I can eat it too 
When I just want to elevate so I can see your view
Insecurities start seepin’ in and leakin through 
But I should understand, if anyone, I let demons loop You keep me on my P’s and Q’s, I tell you you should eat some food 
Conversations over dinner turn into me eating you
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
But the elephant never seems to leave the room 
Well, what’s the saying, one bite at a time?
We got a lot of meals left ‘cause for this life, girl, you’re mine 
Every breeze that you breathe, yeah, it goes right up my spine 
But I’d rather collide than pretend we’re aligned, I want it all 
Every spring, every fall, every silence, every call, every forward, every stall 
Thank you for trying understand me 
You, tour daughter,  a couple more, a whole family, yeah, I want that

Romanée-Conti in a wine glass
Mesmerized, staring at you as the time passes
And dilated hazel eyes say you’d bite back
But act civilized for tonight ‘cause I like having a conversation over dinner

Girl, I want that
Do you want that?

Found you and you’re carrying me
It’s all good when you got me with you
God knew you’d be something to me
And I knew that there was demons in you

Wellfield Botanic Gardens (feat. Jon Allen)

Lyrics:
When it’s .SELF-made, you can say it hit different
Catch me in my new whip and my windows all tinted
You know you the boss when you ain’t gotta floss with it
‘Dulging in the sauce, try and not get lost in it
(Aye, aye)
Fall victim when the Cheffy get to spittin’
Got a lot up on my chest, so that’s plenty ammunition
Not used to the success, more familiar with persistence
I ain’t comfortable with quitting
We not in the same position and they wonder what’s the difference?
(What’s the difference?)
Keep sleeping on yourself, I know you lack ambition
Not satisfied with how you look, so fragile with your image
I take my insecurities and use them as a weapon
Anybody here can get it
I go lethal in a second
Feel my strength when I’m projecting
No wonder you in second
Take your bitch and teach her lesson
She quick to raise her hands like she asking me a question
Aye, aye
These rappers ain’t shit, just sittin’ on the potty
Shorty feeling me, she don’t love me for my body
I still planned a hit so call me John Gotti
I ain’t talking ‘bout a murder when I say I caught a body
(Bop, bop)
I done caught a body
Mixture in my cup, yeah, got me out my body
Shorty off a pill, now she thinking ‘bout some Molly
I said I wasn’t with it but I be thinking, “Prolly”
(Shit)
Uh
Golly O-G, Cheffy boy is a beast
Got the game on it’s knees
He don’t bang in the streets, he just bang on the beat
Try to go up with your dunk but the paint isn’t sweet
Sheesh

(Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye)
Aye, aye, what the fuck you talking ‘bout?
May have been on junior varsity but bitch, I’m balling now
Killed the stage, Our Place on Main, but baby, this a bigger crowd
I gotta make ‘em proud, pull up and hit that shit
(From downtown!)
The Chef cooking a recipe for success
He got me checks, then put me up on a set
He left the club with three times his investment
I said, “What’s next?” 
He said, “Let’s do it again,” like
Boom-shakalaka
Know these dudes bout to drop ya
With the tools if they spot ya coming through tryna stop us
Venues get so poppin’ we don’t have no other option
And they’re just outside of view while Marty’s counting up the dollars
(He’s on fire!)
I cannot make this shit up, I’m really living it
Everything I want but couldn’t have, God is giving me
Because my mindset is different, on a higher frequency
The day that I decided to be grateful that you’re listening
‘Cause I’m grateful for everything 
And everyone that pushed to my limits, I’m a better me
I know I said I’m sick of you, but that would be the death of me
To disrespect the place I came from and kill my legacy 

All the way up
Then all the way down
Thought I would fly
But I only drowned 
All the way up
Then all the way down
Thought I would fly
But I only drowned 
All the way up
Then all the way down
Thought I would fly
But I only drowned
Still, you came back in a rush
Shakin’ ass in the club
You can have all my love
You can have all my love

Club 395 (feat. Chef CLM)

Lyrics:
Yeah, yeah, aye
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, aye
This that feeling when you know that you got it
I got some dope in my pocket, thinking ‘bout rolling it up
And taking off, outer space, ain’t no slowing or stopping
Now baby, show me the profit, you know I go with the bucks
You always so in a rush
I take my time and I plan it out
Bitch, I shine when I’m standing out
It’s so bright, got you tanning
How could you spite what I’m handing out?
It’s free game for you lames
And I’m in my lane never change 
I don’t think I’m paving a way
I just take my pain, rearrange it into something that’s fucking beautiful
Took a tab of acid, now I’m feeling so unusual
My body electric
Girl, you and I, we connected
This energy that’s between us, could never try to reject it
We must have met in a dream or something, but now that we mention it
Baby, tell me your dreams or something, like what’s your profession?
She said, “Not now, wait and see, my love”
Then I got an erection and 
And fucked the beat until this bitch came harder
On the stool, wiping up these shit stain artists
I be smooth with it, call me Schick Shave Sergeant
Tommy Cruz, Tommy Hilfiger my garments
Tommy Cruz, bitch and go figure, I’m gorgeous
Aye
This that feeling when you know that you got it, I’ve got it
Aye
This that feeling when you
Aye
Yeah, yeah, aye
This that feeling when you know that you got it, I’ve got it
Aye
This that feeling when you
Aye
Yeah, yeah

Fuck yeah Tommy, show ‘em you got it
I’m with the audience inside The Lerner Theatre just watching
Happy we gave back to the city that gave us our profits
Suffered living through Hellkhart, turned into a pair of prophets
Remember back in the day we said we would put on a show
And that this stage was the highest place we thought we go?
Look at us now, this ambition born with is profound
I hear the sound, deafening decibel screams from the crowd
They be like

(5-7-4)
Change your perspective represent the place we came from
(5-7-4)
With no direction go insane hearing the same drums
(5-7-4)
Backstage, sweat pours and I’m reminded
(5-7-4)
Tonight, the flashing lights shine as a message to everyone I ignored

So I come out and tear that motherfucker down
‘Cause we ain’t done, we just started
In the city with a heart 
Where all of my best friends are artists
I’m just happy to be part of the
Inspiration through art to keep all our families from starving
I need my children to see and believe in me as a father
I need the people I love to have everything that they wanted
I need my brother off of all these fucking pills that he’s poppin’
I need everybody happy but fear that money won’t stop ‘em
From falling deeper in their habits with the riches if I found it
Shadow still around, but I gotta stay grounded

The Lerner Theatre (feat. Tommy Cruz)

Lyrics:
Phone ringing as I’m staring at this gravestone
Whoever’s on the other end just hears the same tone
A mental wrestling match with all of my same ghosts
I don’t wanna speak, that’s not the reason I came home
I came back for a show and I came to break bones
Break a leg and my heart holding sustained notes
But if it kills me, don’t cry, save the songs that I’m scrapping
Play them all, then throw that hard drive in the casket
I’m sick of running this rat race
With half-famous, half-satan worshipping blackface wearers
An accident while in last place, the glass breaks
Pray that I’m not seeing my last days, but lately I
Feel like I’m dying, I’ve lost weight and my thoughts change daily on if I can make songs 
Save for a place of my own
Another woman hit my phone, is this the price of greatness?
Going on hiatus, I need a vacation

She just broke up with her boyfriend, you know what I mean?
I been so turnt up, ain’t even sober in a dream 
Movin’ slower like the lean 
It don’t matter where I’m going if I’m going with the team
That’s Webbie and Cruz
They both better than me, I’m way better than you
Let me tell you motherfuckers what I’m ready to do
Yeah 
I told my plug that I’m ready to roll
I told my dawg that I’m ready to ride 
I told a bitch that I’m ready to fuck
Told myself that I’m ready to die
Yeah
I’m re-ready to die
I’m ready to, ready to, re-re ready to die
I’m re-ready to, ready, re-re-ready to die
I’m ready to die
I’m re-re-ready to die
I ain’t tellin’ a lie 
When I’m tellin’ you why
‘Cause I just don’t give a fuck no mo
They wanna drink ya drank
They wanna puff ya dro 
They wanna eat ya cake
They wanna fuck ya hoe
Shit, that’s what my cousin was on
I’ma keep on reppin’ till they bringin’ my brother home
Shoutout to Pootie Tang
Ain’t no talkin’, just do it, mane 
We ain’t running we walking and you know life is a movie, mane
Better gimme my credit up in them credits 
Nah, fuck it, just forget it bitch, I gotta let it go 
Yo

My plane landed, Orlando-Sanford, 12:45
I texted Gabi, two hours later, I’m outside
Some bitch was sitting, screaming, crying on the curb
She missed her flight ‘cause the bottles in her bag were the wrong size
Gabi pulled up and I hopped in the whip, riding
Happy that I’d see my brother in no time since
The last time that he was home and shit was total silence
Saw the signs that I had almost lost my mind to violence
Took some time to find it, then I decided to fly down south and start the year off vibing 
In the same place I planned to start a new life in
But I had never planned I’d almost have to watch our lives end
Ten minutes driving down 417
Gabi hit debris left on the bridge, we swerved left then
Right into the barrier, my broken thumb’s a blessing
Knowing that this gravestone could have been mine is my lesson

Rice Cemetery (feat. BK)

a new chapter begins...
Produced by .SELF
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by .SELF
Artwork design by .SELF

Lyrics:

She said give it some time, love
I’ll be the one praying under the sun
Booking the dates for a party and a whole show
Smile for the photo
Need the content and the promo
But it only costs a soul though

I had time, I had patience
Gave my life to someone faceless
So I can’t act so innocent of how this all turned out
How you used to have me feeling

But every time I see you, I be running away from the love that you bring me inside
I don’t know why
I don’t know why
It might be too late this time

I want revenge and I don’t care how I get it
I can’t make amends if you won’t let me
I should be in a Benz, but still push this Civic
‘Cause time moves too
‘Cause time moves too

And every time I see you, I be running away from the love that you bring me inside
I don’t know why
I don’t know why
It might be too late this time

I don't know why
I don't know why

Revenge

Produced by .SELF
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by .SELF
Artwork design by .SELF

Lyrics:

At the ultrasound, I went silent
Holding back tears I was fighting
Smiled and then started crying
I see you
And as you grow, I’m reminded
How truly precious this life is
I’m nervous, but I’m excited             
To see you

Hold you close
United as I look in your eyes
Hold you close
And provide what you need to have a life
That’s better than mine
I’m terrified
Hysteric and happy at the same time
But I try not to show
So many waves of emotion that I can’t keep straight
Knowing that you’ll be grown one day
My only job is to love you and show the way
Hoping that I don’t make mistakes
Hearing your heartbeat
Knowing you came from me
Finally complete
I see you

You’re like the spark of a match before it’s thrown
The fire inside me slowly grows
My reason to fight, you give me hope
Peace in my soul that I’m holding onto
All of the love I’ve never shown
Was saved with my heart inside a hole
To gift to you when we bring you home
As I hold you close and sing to you

Remi

Produced by .SELF
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by .SELF
Artwork design by .SELF

Lyrics:

Time moves too fast
Four years since my first album and I’m still here making tracks
Still I keep bearing my soul, I keep honing my skills, and promoting my craft
But sometimes I sit in the studio wondering how much longer it’ll last
Built up this image I saw in myself as a wall and now I’m feeling trapped
Smoking alone, fill the hole inside me with the blunts that I puff, never pass
Know that I’m living a life that will never make sense to my mom and my dad
Feel like I just keep outgrowing the home that I’m in and to which I’m attached
I need to grow up a little, want better for me because I feel unhappy

Still just sitting in this studio hoping my future’s brighter than my past
Back when I was just a shadow, we both had mutual friend I would smash
I know that I was a dog how I did her and thought that you’d never call back
Never thought I’d ever see you again but you popped up while swiping through apps
So thinking back to when you’d pull up at work and I’d smile, knew I had to have you
We would all hang out and drink so I knew I’d be better for you than your last dude
Plus I knew we were both artists ‘cause I’m making music and you’re making tattoos
But you had a kid and I’m just a kid, so I can’t be a dad, that’s the sad truth
Still I pursued you, I swear that this shit was all fated the way that it happened
All of my friends just kept wondering why I was silent when they were all laughing
I was busy contemplating the thought of just letting go of the past tense
Being a dad, never had kids but I fell for you both with a passion
It was over for me
Counting the years I’d been feeling lonely
Within one second, it changed and my home became three
So on Fourth of July, I asked you for forever with me

Give me some time
Just give me some time
Oh oh
Give me some time
Give me some time

2019

[Lyrics]
Yeah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh

I'll touch that fire for you
I do that three, four times again, I testify for you
I told that lie, I killed that man
I do what all of them around you scared to do, I'm not
Long as you juggin' out here for me, I got it
Mobbin', schemin', lootin', hide your bodies
Long as you dreamin' 'bout me, ain't no problem
I don't got nobody, just with you right now
Tell the truth, I look best on top of you

I can't lose when I'm with you
How can I snooze and miss the moment?
You're just too important
Nobody know body like you do
I can't lose when I'm with you
I can't just snooze and miss the moment
You're just too important
Nobody know body like you do, you do

In the droptop ride with you, I feel like Scarface
Like that white bitch with the bob, know you my main one
Let's take this argument back up to my place
Sex remind you I'm nonviolent, I'm your day one
We ain't had shit, yeah, it was magic, yeah
Smash and grab shit, yeah
Nasty habits take a hold when you not here
Ain't a home when you not here
Hard to grow when you not here, I'm sayin'

I can't lose when I'm with you
How can I snooze and miss the moment?
You're just too important
Nobody know body like you do
I can't lose when I'm with you
I can't just snooze and miss the moment
You're just too important
Nobody know body like you do, you do

Main one ridin'
How you frontin' on me and I'm the main one tryin'?
How you blame it on me and you the main one lyin'?
How you threatenin' to leave and I'm the main one cryin'?
Just tryna be your everything
Main one ridin'
How you frontin' on me and I'm the main one tryin'?
How you blame it on me and you the main one lyin'?
How you threatenin' to leave and I'm the main one cryin'?

I can't lose when I'm with you
How can I snooze and miss the moment?
You're just too important
Nobody know body like you do
I can't lose when I'm with you
I can't just snooze and miss the moment
You're just too important
Nobody know body like you do, you do

Snooze

Snooze (Slowed)

Produced by .SELF
Mixed and mastered by .SELF and Grade A Music
Created in The Blue Room


[Lyrics]
Take me home
Heartbreaker, now baby, what you save me for?
Talk later, no maybes, make you hate me more

But 2019 don’t feel like 2016 did
When someone special taught me love was all I needed
Remember going outside with no reason 
To fear for my life ending, fear for my life ending
I love this city, but I know soon I'll be leaving
I just dipped to see my brother for two weekends
I know it’s foolish, but I’m young and still believe in
A dream that I can hold, but every time that I come home, I see 

The fire outside
My window
I've got time
As far as I know
Fire outside
My window
Fire outside 
My window
I got time
As far as I know
As far as I know
I got time
I got time 
I got time
I got time
I got time
I got time

Sun rays
Glad I didn’t have to come back on a Sunday
But now that I’m back, I wish I had a one way
I’m tired of wasting away all my Mondays
So that night I told her that I’m gonna come through
Don’t matter the time, I’ma just call you
I roll a blueberry swisher, that’s all you
The bud is blueberry, so baby, it’s all fruit
But you know that I gotta tend to

The fire outside
My window
I got time
As far as I know
Fire outside
My window
Fire outside 
My window
I got time
As far as I know
As far as I know
I got time
I got time 
I got time
I got time
I got time
I got time

I wish that things could be how they were
That I wanted the life I deserved
But what a waste of time on this Earth
I wish that things could be how they were
That I wanted the life I deserved
But what a waste of time on this Earth
Just to watch it burn, oh

Fire outside
My window
I got time
As far as I know
Fire outside
My window
Fire outside 
My window
I got time
As far as I know
As far as I know
I got time
I got time 
I got time
I got time
I got time
I got time

Self-Titled

The Fire Outside My Window

To Love You Is to Be Lonely

You Will Be Missed

Hell (Is Here On Earth)

To Be Lonely

Brayden Weber (who releases his solo work under the name .SELF) is a 25-year-old creative from Elkhart, Indiana.

.SELF

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