For my English class this semester, my professor gave us the assignment of doing a remix of some form, so this is what I made. He said it didn't have to be good so enjoy this piece of absolute garbage. I really only uploaded it for Professor H. 
 
The lyrics for you benefit:
[Intro]
Opens with Ave Maria instead of Charlie Heat

[Hook]
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus just jumped over Satan
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus just jumped over Satan

[Verse 1]
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, love him more than bingo
I just pinched a lot of cheeks, now I need some Werthers
“Elbows off the table”, son you know they love it
If Walgreens ain’t have Gold Bond, man they wouldn’t have nothin’
If Walgreens ain’t have Depends, man they wouldn’t have nothin’
But I’m all for the family, ask ‘em, “Are you hungry?”
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, they line up for days
Walgreens out here bad, they can’t give canes away
I stuck to my roots, I’m like Bobby Barker
Dropped my hearing aid, all I say is “What?”
Every time I talk they say I keep mumbling
I was out here spazzin, now I dropped my dentures
On the couch I’m falling asleep with the Price is Right
2020, I’ma vote the whole election
Lower taxes, still want my IRA
Jesus in the house and we just got graced
Walgreens, Walgreens treat employees just like slaves
Arthritis actin’ up, need my cream
20 dollars for Prune Juice, heck no!
Just ate a slice of turkey, now I need a nappy
I done wore slippers I won’t wear again
They’re all tattered, I’m not belligerent

[Hook]
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus just jumped over Satan
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus just jumped over Satan

[Verse 2]
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, this is pure salvation
I give ‘em grey poupon on a hammy sammy 
If you ain’t breakin’ backs, they what you bend for? Huh?
Play some jazz, just turn down the gospel
And we got a republican senate, we got a republican senate
Yeah, we got a republican senate, we got a republican senate
Do anybody feel bad for Mitt Romney?
Did he lose the votes just like John McCain-y?
Tell the RNC we need a million in production 
Who is what? Jeopardy got us askin’ questions
Dancing With The Stars on, need my Life Alert
Limb Rush and O’Reilly runnin’ up the budget
Playin’ dice with my gals, playin’ cards with pals
We’re slightly racist but we love God
Jesus, Jesus, saying grace at the dinner table
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, praying at church all day 
Couches, couches, couches, couches, which one should I pick?
I need extra short with floral print that makes you sick
Every time I see the news, someone killed at home
Call up Pastor John, bless my whole fam
We just blessed to be alive, yeah ain’t that the truth?
So let’s celebrate the life of Mary too

[Outro]
More Ave Maria

Old White Facts (feat. Ave Maria)

All I do is ball out, pet dogs, and ride the waves

Beck Na$ty