An ambitious album from 2012 remixed and remastered in 2021.
The recording of the album started in July of 2012 but in September of that year my father revealed he had cancer and he died soon after. The album was finished and released on November 10, 2012. I had always wanted to hear a better mix of the album and so, before it's 10th anniversary, decided to go for it. This remix and remaster replace the original version that was once available here. I hope you enjoy it!

Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021


Album release date:
10 November 2021

Hopes and Fears (Deluxe Edition/2021 Remaster) - Shawn Ames

This Is My Life Now

It was October, the middle of autumn
I was watching birds gather for bread
Feeling the coldness in the air
Along with memories in my head
I watched our tortoise in the yard
Running circles in our fenced land
It’s like he knew that the time was coming
When he’d have to sleep inside instead
I could relate to his impatience
The need for speed but have none
Made slow by all the weight
A fast pace but never a run, never a run..

This is my life now
Not the glory or fame
This is my life now
I don’t even play the game
The man I used to be 
Not long ago it seems
Seems completely foreign to me
I don’t understand his dreams
They seem selfish and broken down
No matter how many years I’ve been around
And everything he held in high regard
Has been replaced by the birds 
Feeding in his yard
It’s all changed somehow
I wish I knew how
This is my life now 
This is my life now

I don’t mean to complain
I do my best to be happy
But nothing ever worked out for me
It all turned out so crappy
Women who came and went
Tons of time and money spent
On booze and sex and picks and strings
Did I ever amount to anything?
Memories are all that’s left
And a heart still beating in your chest
You have your life, 
for that you’re truly blessed
You are what you are
And you do your best
So spinning in circles in the yard I go
And I realize what only a handful know
That life isn’t how fast you take the path
It’s the time slowed down
Where the memories are cast
Autumn means slowly dying
You can see it in the trees
In the way all the plants turn brown
Along with falling leaves
You try to look to the future
You try not to regret the past
Because all you have is now
And it won’t last..

This is my life now
I’m too tired and old
I’m too young to die
But too old to rock and roll
The muse has left me
I replaced her with booze
I’m sitting outside in the dark
Numbing out the days abuse
All the magic in the world 
Seems to fade away
I feel a piece of my heart is gone
With the passing of every day
All the music’s gone
And I stare at a cold dead lawn
And I cry but I make no sound
This is my life now
..now…
Ooh, babe...don’t give in
And if you do, go down with a grin…

Words and music by Shawn Ames   
 Copyright © Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Hopes and Fears (Deluxe Edition)

This Is My Life Now (2021 Remix)

I’m Driving My Wife To Wendy’s

I’m driving my wife to Wendy’s
Where the food is fresh and hot
I’m driving my wife to Wendy’s
I hope she bought a lot
I’m driving my wife to Wendy’s
I hope the food is good
I’m driving my wife to Wendy’s
It’s in my neighborhood

Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

I'm Driving my Wife to Wendy's (2021 Remix)

Covered In Fleas

There was an old dog
All covered in fleas
Once wandered to my door
Begging let me in please
I took him indoors
Now he sleeps at my feet
Oh loyal he was
Always protecting me
Oh he never left my side
Very thankfully
He may growl and snarl for you
To let me be
I’m all that he knows
For a family
An old dog
Covered in fleas

Words by Brenda Shirley
Music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Covered in Fleas (2021 Remix)

Castles In The Sand

It takes all kinds of people
To make this old world go ‘round
And even with good intentions
Everyone lets everyone down
Some are left alone while hurting
Some go and drink away their pain
Some are left with a yearning
To see someone they’ll never see again

(Chorus)
We are not far from innocence
We are a creature of accidents
We can be good to each other
If given the chance
We’ve lost our way at the crossroads
We forgot to read the sign posts
We were all too busy
Building castles in the sand

No one knows what lies ahead
There’s no easy way to tell
If we’ll be alive or dead
When it all goes to Hell
I’d like to believe we’ll pull together
And each of us will lend a hand
To reach out and help another
Help our fellow man
(Repeat chorus)

Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Castles in the Sand (2021 Remix)

Deeper  (Every Tear I’ve Cried)

Deeper than you know is my love for you
Deeper in my soul is a place for you
Time is funny in the way that it never stops
It waits for nothing and all you’ve gained is lost

Deeper in my mind is a memory of you
Long before the wedge that split us in two
It’s a memory of you singing to a song on the radio
That’s when I saw your true emotions, when you let yourself go

(Chorus)
Every tear I’ve cried comes from deeper inside
Every tear I’ve cried comes from deep inside
From a well full of memories in my mind
To all that bitter space we lost in time
Every tear I’ve cried comes from deeper inside

Deeper in my heart is where I ache for you
Where the cold hard facts of life can be so cruel
The way you surprise another, half way around the world
Smiles reflected on ocean tides and your happiness unfurled

Deeper in my soul is where I cry for you
Deeper is this pain that I wear for you
I will always feel it’s my fault for so much wasted time
And I will cry forever, these tears will never dry
(Repeat chorus)

...for dad....

Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Deeper (Every Tear I've Cried) (2021 Remix)

Darkness Descends - (Instrumental)

Music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021


Album release date:
10 November 2021

Darkness Descends (2021 Remix)

Babe

I remember the Tank’Em Up
When I was young and didn’t know enough
Under age on a Saturday night
A roll of ones I’m going to lose tonight
Gotta tip the jar to keep the jukebox rockin’
And the beautiful strippers kept the young heart throbbin’

(Chorus)
My favorite dancer calls herself Babe
Cheers and applause fill this place
With nothing but a smile on her face
She grabs the pole and spins on the stage
She bumps and grinds and those hips gyrate
She looks down at me and heads my way
I want to touch, I want to taste
I want to waste the night away with Babe

All the moves that a dancer should know
Are on display, what a Hell of a show
At the risk of sounding naive and rude
She was the first woman I ever saw dance in the nude
Believe me I’m not trying to be modest
But I didn’t watch a stripper, I watched a goddess
(Repeat chorus)

Waste away, waste away
I want to waste away with Babe

Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Babe (2021 Remix)

Afternoon Stroll

Take a walk, hear the wind through the trees
Taking each step with me
We’re growing old
While taking an afternoon stroll

The sun is shining and you are here
I’m so glad to have you near
We’re growing old 
While taking an afternoon stroll

Smell the flowers down the street
By the garden gate with me
See the bees making honey
Isn’t this life of our seem funny?
Stop over some children’s toys
While our dogs are making noise
We’re growing old
While taking an afternoon stroll

This will make a fine memory
A special one with you and me
We’re growing old
While taking an afternoon stroll

Smell the flowers down the street
By the garden gate with me
See the bees making honey
Isn’t this life of our seem funny?
Take a walk, hear the wind through the trees
Taking each step with me
‘Cuz we’re growing old
While taking an afternoon stroll


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Afternoon Stroll (2021 Remix)

Whiskey and Bettie Page

Gonna get crazy and roll the dice
I got money to burn on a Saturday night
Look right, dress tight
Fell right, dynamite
Gonna get loose with my friends tonight

(Chorus)
Whiskey and Bettie Page
I can’t keep my head on straight
We like to double date
She gets dirty while I just wait
I think I’ve got it made
Maybe later I’ll get laid
With whiskey and Bettie Page

The moon is bright up above
Shining down on my favorite love
She looks good, feels good
Make it so it’s understood
She smells right, so tight
Gonna get inside tonight
(Repeat chorus)

Aw, Bettie..  you’re making me sweaty


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Whiskey and Bettie Page (2021 Remix)

Most Of All

It’s a brand new day
I wake up to find you smiling
You turn to me and say
The sun is rising
Now comb your hair and wipe your tired eyes
The sun is shining, we’ve made it through the night

(Chorus)
I love the rain that falls
I love a songbird’s call
I love mountains standing tall
I love waking up in Montreal
But I love you most of all

I’m the luckiest man alive
I keep telling myself
To have you by my side
In spite of faults in myself
I never pretended to be a simple man
I just need you to know that I do the best that I can
I know I’ve let you down
More times than you can remember
Hit the road out of town
Alone instead of together
If you only knew how much I really missed you
And yearned for the day when I got back to kiss you
(Repeat chorus)

Let’s stumble though life together


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Most of All (2021 Remix)

They Only Come Out At Night

They only come out at night
To bite and feed
They hide from the light
And watch you bleed
They sit there waiting
And bide their time
Unaware they’re feasting
They’re bleeding you dry

Nothing seems to scare them
They’re fierce, they’re mean
Eyes in the darkness
They watch and scheme
They’re out to get you
You’re hunted, you’re prey
They sit there waiting
And bide their time
Unaware they’re feasting
They’re bleeding you dry


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

They Only Come Out at Night (2021 Remix)

Dropping Cannonballs (Dedicated to Keith Moon)

Now here is my story
In all it’s sinful glory
About the way that I like to get stoned
It’s an every night affair
So come along if you dare
Otherwise, you better stay at home

(Chorus)
Oh, it’s wicked, it’s crazy
Everything will be hazy
But you’ll feel ten feet tall
Smoke if ya got ‘em
Drink to the bottom
Dropping cannonballs

Now you get yourself some weed
But don’t forget you need
You need booze in the other hand
Take a drag off that grass
And hold onto your ass
‘Cuz that’s only half the plan
(Repeat chorus)

Now you drink a drink
Whatever you think
You’ll drink to swallow it down
Exhale your smoke
And hope you don’t choke\
‘Cuz puke will  make you drown
(Repeat chorus)

Now mind you, I said
This will all go to your head
Before too long
You’ll be bumping into walls
But cheer up, don’t be sad
Give a smile and be glad
That you were dropping cannonballs
(Repeat chorus)


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Hopes and Fears (Deluxe Editions)

Dropping Cannonballs (2021 Remix)

Beautiful Light

When it’s dark and I’m alone
And so far away from home
I begin to realize
What’s missing
Through all the noise and the lies
I can stare into your eyes
And find the reason why
I’m existing
No one could ever make me feel
The way that you do
When I’m by your side
I can feel my love for you

(Chorus)
What a beautiful light you shine
Don’t you ever let it hide
It illuminates from inside
What a beautiful light you shine

It’s something I can’t explain
The feelings come back again
When I see you in the sun
Alive and smiling
It’s like you soak up every ray of the sun
And somehow turned it all into one
Great light of love
Brightly shining
(Repeat chorus)

Never again should I be alone in the dark
Never again should we be apart
There’s a love inside you
I don’t feel from anyone else
I’ve never felt this love
At least not from myself
What a beautiful light you shine
(Repeat chorus)


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Beautiful Light (2021 Remix)

Long Way Down

Everyday it’s a struggle
To survive
And everyday I barely make it
Make it alive

(Chorus)
It’s a long, long way down
I’m too far gone to turn around

Sometimes it doesn’t make sense
To get out of bed
Just getting through the day 
Is something I dread
(Repeat chorus)

This hole I’ve fallen in
Looks like it’s pretty deep
Blacker than night
No light at all that I can see
(Repeat chorus)


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Long Way Down (2021 Remix)

My City, The Ghetto

My city’s a ghetto
And you’re the queen
None of this is like
What it used to be
My city’s a ghetto
I’m the king
What I don’t have 
I didn’t really need

(Chorus)
My city’s a ghetto
Get loose and lay low
That’s where the bullets flow
My city, the ghetto

SWITCHBLADE!!

My city’s a ghetto
And you’re the queen
You’re probably the prettiest thing
I’ve ever seen
My city’s a ghetto
And I’m the king
I rule
All over everything
(Repeat chorus)


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

My City the Ghetto (2021 Remix)

Hopes and Fears

When we’re not hoping
We’re fearing
When we’re not fearing
We’re hoping
Hoping that when it’s all over
There’s nothing left to fear

When we’re not fearing 
We’re hoping
When we’re not hoping
We’re fearing
Fearing of hoping
That the end is near

(Chorus)
Ooh, babe don’t give in
And if you do go down with a grin
In the end we all share tears
From our hopes and fears

When we’re not hoping
We’re fearing
When we’re not fearing
We’re hoping
Hoping that someone out there
Really understands
When we’re not fearing
We’re hoping
When we’re not hoping
We’re fearing
Fearing this might be the last sunset
As we’re holding hands
(Repeat chorus)


Words and music by Shawn Ames
Copyright (C) Shawn Ames/Number 9 Productions 2012/2021

Hopes and Fears (2021 Remix)

It's me, making beautiful noise!
I play all of the instruments, write, arrange, record, produce, engineer, and play all that you hear.
A little left of center, always speaking my heart and warped mind, if nothing else I hope you give a casual listen to the music I've created and I hope you enjoy it.
The music is free to listen to and download, either of which you choose I appreciate your time and listening very much.