A one-take recording of a song about my roommate's cat Pippin.
Thank-you to Amy for the excellent picture!

Pippin, oh Pippin
What is happening in your head?
Pippin, oh Pippin
Did you know the mouse
You gave me, was dead

Little cat
Your present is kind and warm
Your presence is so adored
I hope that somewhere in there you know
You are loved

Pippin, oh Pippin
Tell me, where has Father gone?
Pippin, oh Pippin
Do you remember of the world beyond

Little cat
Perched on the windowsill
Watching rain cut through the still
Time passes by but the walls
Are the same

Pippin, oh Pippin
Do you remember being found?
Pippin, oh Pippin
In a gas station far from here and now

Held to light
A long way to come back home
We marvel at how you’ve grown
And though your claws dig into my leg
I know you mean well

Run through the night
Eyes wide and bright
Curl up and sleep
Through the day

Pippin, Oh Pippin (Live-ish)

Early adventures and angst in student-doctoring

Turn the key

Newly born, newly made
Innocent or naive
Swaddled tight in my coat of white
Just one thread in the weave

And now repeat after me:

You know how
Down to earth
I got home from work
Near the table in the dining room
They heard him say on the radio last night

O, worshiper of simple gods
What’s left here for you?
You tell me that you’ve seen it all
And I almost believe in you

Oh righteous, self-righteous, be my near enemy
Rend the thing inside of me, compassion for your pity

It doesn’t matter “Are you lying to me”
It matters, “why are you lying to you?”

And in the corner, a child is screaming
His arms bending slowly, further back
Third-line injection prepared
And I can’t let myself look away
And I can’t let myself look away

O, worshiper of simple gods
Please won’t you tell me what to do?
You tell me that there’s nothing left
And I almost believe you

O, worshiper of simple gods
Oh, what remains of you?
I cling tight to the shred of hope
That I will not become you

Drive home, the cemetery beckons yon
Forget what you’ve seen, forget where you’ve gone
Graves tall, again in the morn
Cling tight to the self not yet torn

(With thanks to the NIH Stroke Scale)

Early Days

Songs from the last chunk of medical school! Tracks two through five comprise the Street Medicine Songbook, four HIPAA-compliant songs about my experiences last summer; the rest helped get me through a beautiful, stressful year. Pippin, A Sword in His Mouth, is dedicated to my roommate's cat Pippin. Thank you to everyone who helped write these, and thank you for listening!

The Ballad of Bicillin

Eight thousand dollar
Fungus in a tube
Stored carefully on ice
Inside a plastic cube

Eight thousand dollar
Fungus in a tube
Bringer of brief pain
Ruiner of the mood

You’re very nice, a marvel, see, of medical ingenuity
But you’re really rather hard to keep happy
I grumble, aren’t you old and simple, why so pricey for a thimble
And you sit quiet, and you don’t say a thing

Eight thousand dollar
Fungus in a tube
I’m starting to feel
You’ve played me for a rube

Eight thousand dollar
Fungus in the backseat
And I’ve become, for you
An unpaid local taxi

One day, quite soon, it’ll all be over
Your purpose served, your old home left behind
In a sharps container, sealed in solid plastic
We wouldn’t want to cause a needlestick injury

But until then, we’re stuck here together
So I suppose I may stop being quite so rude
I know you’re a complex synthetic biomolecule
You’re more than just a fungus in a tube

Oh, you’re more than just a fungus in a tube

No Trust Passing


And in the middle of the forest
There is a sweet-hearted dog
Who just wants you to love her

She guards a empty-heart secret
Amidst old fallen leaves
Of green a long time ago

My love, the moon
My love, the ink-dark sea

My love, the moon
My love, the wine-drunk sea

And calling out from the window
A snake, pink and blue
“Don’t fuck with me” it declares to the world

Beneath bicycle skeletons
As the fourth pot of coffee brews
“I just wanted to know my neighbors”

My love, the moon
My love, the ink-dark sea

My love, the moon
My love, the wine-drunk sea

My love, far away
Each night you hold me near

My love, long gone
Just stars left, I fear

Optimed, My Beloved

I’ve never been the messy one, before

But here I am, dripping sweat
Disheveled, dirty, rustic, possibly
Carrying a tick I won’t notice until
Three or four hours from now

Out of breath, out of time
No time left, no time at all, 
please just Please tell me the order is in
This summer, a curse, just for me

And you, self-assured, slight smile
Eyebrow raised, clicking through checking bottles
And suddenly I realize you know my name
But I, I don’t know yours

Oh, Optimed, my beloved
Light of the first floor rotunda
Always there for me, no matter
How much I’m struggling under

Oh, Optimed, I’ve never felt this way
‘Bout a pharmacy before
Give me whatever you’ve got
And I promise that i’ll keep coming back for more

Next time I come by, smooth, together
I’ve rehearsed all the words in my head
“Pickup for–” got it don’t worry, you say
Good to see you again, by the way

Every time I come by, an apology
For the rush, the mixup, the lateness, the change, 
But each time you just reassure me
That you’re glad that we do this at all

Oh, Optimed, angel of angels
Of kindness for med students poor
Lemonade with an employee discount
Calling “take it easy” as we dash out the door

Oh, Optimed, I’ve never felt this way
‘Bout a pharmacy before
Give me whatever you’ve got
And I promise that i’ll keep coming back for more x3

Night Float

Lamplights
The hum of the fifth floor

Midnight
Six hours more

Nothing
Beyond the door

All alone
Just six hours more

Mirror self, lay me down, among the leaves
One day soon, I’ll learn to breathe
Bag of knives, empty room, and me

The world is quiet here
The world is quiet here
The world is quiet here
The world is quiet here

Midmorning

Bridgerton

Pippin, A Sword In His Mouth

Night Float

No Trust Passing

The Ballad of Bicillin

And Your Parents Pulled Up To The Abandoned Lot By The Gas Station And Said They Were Fine To Wait

Optimed, My Beloved

Come Home Alone

An EP I made of songs written the past year or so. Sort of about college and being sleepy and community and stumbling along. Hope you enjoy!

An enormous thanks to my friends who helped along the way, listening, providing feedback, and reassuring me that my voice is musical after all.

Sherwin Shabdar

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