New Shitty Osmonds record coming soon. In the meantime, here are a handful that slipped through the cracks. All tracks written by the Shitty Osmonds, except "Screwjack" and "Cop Or Cab" (written by the Shitty Osmonds and Black Wednesday) and "Igor" (written by the Shitty Osmonds, Leslie Bricusse, and Charles Dickens) Produced and engineered by Tuck Nelson. Tracks 1, 2, 8 recorded during the Falconer Sessions in 2005; All other tracks recorded at Panda Machine, 2009.

One For the Fall Guy

The chilly "Plunder" is a piece of 1st Century Fashion reportage, our interpretation of a codex that was located by the Regents Expedition Of 1973 in a cave on Sharqi Island off the coast of present-day Tunisia. The cave was only accessible during extreme low tides, unknown even to the locals, and the startling find included the first known example of fashion criticism by a contemporary of Jesus. This fabled cache, known amongst astute historians as the "Sharqi Lode," is the same stock of materials that yielded the missing stanzas of "1st Cartesians."

A2 - The Shitty Osmonds - Plunder (Stripped Karaoke Instrumental)

A1 - The Shitty Osmonds - Plunder feat. DJ Iron Mike (Album Version)

Posting this for our buddy RIck. Here's what Kenneth had to say about it! 

"Another year, another slick installment from Peppermint Rick and the Chest Nutters. Last year he gave us 'Christmas Before Last,' and the year before that he delivered with 'Third Time (So Far) This Christmas.' This season he's polished up another nugget, a chestnut roasted to perfection and candied in tree sap, 'Another Christmas.' 

It's the kind of tune that only makes you feel as good as it does bad as Rick cozies up with a hard-hitting treacle pudding. His interwoven tales of pets-past-their-expiration and certain frigid death will have you saying Re-gift-It-Forward. 

Beyond Peppermint Rick's spirited delivery, you're sure to enjoy the backpacker pop of the Chest-Nutters, who turn in one of their smoothest performances since 'Jet Ski (Don't Mind If I Do).' 

So, gather your loved ones around the tree as you smoke burglars out the chimney, and get ready for a flow of those good tears--sweet, not salty." -- Kenneth Regents III

Peppermint Rick & The Chest Nutters' "Another Christmas"

"Boise, Idaho, Get Ready!"

From the forthcoming EP: "Shit Sandwich: The Shitty Osmonds Sing Black Wednesday"

Hog Tie Mick

Still Waiting Blues

Tracks spanning years of The Shitty Osmonds, Strong End Juke Joint, maybe even some Black Wednesday. Will be continuously updated til we're happy with it.

Beethoven's 7th, 2nd Movement / All Around the Kitchen (Strong End Juke Joint at Panda Machine 2010)

Sometimes the rotary phone in my office rings with such a sour timbre I know there can only be one band on the other end of the line: The Shitty Osmonds, getting up to no good again. When they called me about “Sing Black Wednesday,” my first thought was, “Why?”. Why are you going to tarnish the name of the Shitty Osmonds by doing a cover album of another band, a band that you were also in? I mean, golly, when their concept starts falling back upon itself, you got to wonder.

But, Hell, with that caveat out of the way, Lemme say, you really gotta hear “Sing Black Wednesday.” 

Black Wednesday, of course, is the folk-hop brainchild of David MacFadden-Elliott and Felix Pineiro, a project they came up with overseas. One of the Osmonds’ better-known tunes, “Screwjack,” first found life as a Black Wednesday song. Their “Cop Or Cab” has something of a disputed lineage--we’re still not sure which band played it first. So the idea of the Osmonds “covering” Black Wednesday is not out of line--except for one fact:

None of the songs on “Sing Black Wednesday” are Black Wednesday songs.

“That’s not entirely true,” interjects one, David MacFadden-Elliott. “‘Broken Arm’ and ‘Hogtie Mick’ were both played live by Black Wednesday.”

“Just once,” adds Dustin MacFadden-Elliott. “It was at a real cushy gig at an Elk’s Club. The arrangements were so pristine that we didn’t want to ruin them by playing them again. You had to be there--that kind of thing. And then there’s ‘Cell Block D.’” 

“Right, that’s one of the original Black Wednesday songs,” says David.

“But you completely rewrote the lyrics,” I remind him.

“That is true.” 

"And then you cut it from the EP anyway."

He zones out for a while, a guttural ‘ehm’ faintly audible before finally suggesting, “I guess we covered the spirit of Black Wednesday more than the canon.”

And there is truth to that, what with Pineiro fortuitously visiting the San Francisco Bay Area just as the “touring” unit of the Shitty Osmonds (both MacFaddens plus Eric Ingersoll on bass) were about to head into the studio to track. Pineiro brought guitar to the occasion and can be heard adding BVs to Broken Arm.

Mixing and mastering occurred across the pond by Tuck Nelson, who—in addition to adding a baker’s dozen of overdubs, plus wizardry, trickery, and finesse—brought the thing back home, imbuing the “spirit” of Black Wednesday by completing it on their home turf, more or less.

They were lucky as hell to convince musician and artist DJ Design to contribute cover artwork--a move that he's surely regretting already.

The future of the Shitty Osmonds is murky, but then, it always has been. The band feels they’ve been overexposed lately, and might limit their next effort to hand-dubbed 8-tracks, or maybe a dark-web-only release. 

Just as I was editing my notes, the elder MacFadden stormed into my office, “What is this? That interview was purely on background. I didn’t know you were going to quote me. Just stick to the music. Tell ‘em it’s out there, but don’t bother with download links or anything. This is for finely-tuned ears. If they’re meant to find it, they’ll find it.”

“Sing Black Wednesday” is available at Bandcamp and Soundcloud.

-- Kenneth Regents III

Shitty Osmonds

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