in 2021, i made a song for a bet.
that was cool, so in 2022 im trying to do one song (demo) each month -
this collection is my progress so far (not in chronological order though, check the tracks for more detail ^^)

reclusio

bonus track? - i wanted to have a calmer ending to the collection because the ending of avatar is so messy. 
the original song is by canadian singer/songwriter Stan Rogers. it tells the story of the protagonist explaining his decision to leave his eastern hometown to move to the west for work. would you rather let the western dust fill your nose or stay in the beautiful east but let collecting the dole rot your soul ?


LYRICS:

VERSE 1
I often take these night shift walks
When the foreman's not around
I turn my back on the cooling stacks
And make for open ground
Far out beyond the tank-farm fence
Where the gas flare makes no sound
I forget the stink and I always think
Back to that Eastern town

VERSE 2
I remember back six years ago
This western life I chose
And every day the news would say
Some factory's going to close
Well, I could have stayed to take the dole
But I'm not one of those.
I take nothing free, and that makes me,
An idiot, I suppose.

CHORUS 1
So I bid farewell to the Eastern town
I never more will see
But work I must so I eat this dust
And breathe refinery
Oh I miss the green and the woods and streams
And I don't like cowboy clothes
But I like being free and that makes me
An idiot, I suppose.

VERSE 3
So come all you fine young fellows
Who've been beaten to the ground
This western life's no paradise,
But it's better than lying down.
Oh the streets aren't clean, and there's nothing green,
And the hills are dirty brown,
But the government dole will rot your soul
Back there in your home town.

CHORUS 2
So bid farewell to the Eastern town
You never more will see.
There's self-respect and a steady check
In this refinery.
You will miss the green and the woods and streams
And the dust will fill your nose.
But you'll be free, and just like me,
An idiot, I suppose.

So I bid farewell to the Eastern town
I never more will see
But work I must so I eat this dust
And breathe refinery
Oh I miss the green and the woods and streams
And I don't like cowboy clothes
But I like being free and that makes me
An idiot, I suppose!

the idiot (stan rogers cover)

the most "experimental" track here probably, almost entirely instrumental
inspired by music from Paysage d'Hiver, Örnatorpet, Burzum, ...
the entire song is cold, i like to listen to dungeon synth and black metal when walking through a blizzard in winter
the lyrics are thoughts on the title which i in turn got took from here: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Calendar
(this was made in april. most songs have some references like that, patience even has some to this calendar as well - first seed second seed last seed etc ;) )

LYRICS:
spring's thaws
vanquished eternally
a boreal kingdom
to rule
rains severed hand
wields the crystal staff
hear the frozen screams
shatter

the mage

this was made in june with a lack of time/motivation/inspiration, so its a lot like snow globe 2.0, very bell-y and wistful^^
its not really about anything, just whatever came to mind. also the ending is still quite messy

LYRICS:

VERSE 1
mirrored image, copycat, just look me in the eyes my author
failed to care and failed to bother, cracks are not contagious surely
i did not intend the new me to feel more than i ever did 
love and anger sacrificed im homesick i think its my time now

CHORUS 1
will the memories i made, the good the bad just all be erased
cause the care for you, the love i bear, cant just all go to waste
and i wonder how, i wonder if i could have ever found my place
and i wonder how, i wonder if my world could end with grace

VERSE 2
thirty seconds to go
you think youre better off alone
but the way your hands are shaking and youre trying to convince yourself says all i need to know
your guilty conscience made you do this 
but you know even the purest 
inner voices sing out of tune sometimes
human minds are not computers
so dont pretend to erase your hard drive
like you changed your mind all of a sudden 
who am i kidding press the button!

CHORUS 2
will the memories i made, the good the bad just all be erased
cause the care for you, the love i bear, cant just all go to waste
and i wonder how, i wonder if i could have ever found my place
and i wonder how, i wonder if my world could end with grace


CHORUS 3
now dont you dare tell me were the same on the inside
and dont you dare run from me, i thought you had nothing to hide
you cant get rid of me, has that never crossed your mind
cause im not just a parasite, im a part of your life

so the memories i made, the good the bad they wont be erased!
cause the care for you, the love i bear, cant just all go to waste!
and i wonder how, i wonder if we could ever find our place!
and i wonder how, i wonder if our world could end with grace

avatar

this was made in february, very synthy
its about Terry A. Davis, Satoshi Nakamoto, creating computer magic and writing your own compiler which i did this semester (was supposed to be the song image but i didnt get the certificate yet)
an absolute pain in the ass to record as there is hardly any time to take a breath in the last chorus


LYRICS:

INTRO
fade to grey
cast away by god himself oh

VERSE 1
tell me, what keeps it alive
that everlasting milling machine in your mind
tell me, i need to know
you built a temple but dont even have a home
tell me, are you ever on your own
screaming and shouting, and fighting your soul
tell me, are you ever scared,
and ill show you - what ive prepared

CHORUS 1
fade to grey
cast away by god himself oh
irony
its a numbers game designed for me ow

VERSE 2
insanity has slowly turned the tide
in this black and white hot raging war of mine
but you were victorious from the start
born with a sane mind and a hero's heart 
two hearts! one's never made a beat
and one once was uncracked
tell me, when were both gone
who - will have won.

CHORUS 2
fade to grey
cast away by god himself oh
irony
its a numbers game designed to solely
work without me - though im just 
letting go it feels like such a
robbery in front of my face

CHORUS 3
fade to grey
cast away by god himself oh
irony
its a numbers game designed to solely
work without me - though im just 
letting go it feels like such a
robbery i watched take place inside my own mind i can
never breathe in peace the voices in my head keep fighting 
over me and you theyll carry on until were both long 
gone away from here youll be in hell ill be in heaven
jealousy has taken over me oh god im sorry

the duality of elephants

title track - made this in may, inspired by wienerberger cloudwatching, the urge to travel and the urge to stay at home, runner's high, corny songs that have 'beautiful' in the lyrics and the eurovision song contest (requiring songs to be max. 3 minutes long)

LYRICS:

INTRO
if i didnt have you here with me
id say theres so much out there yet to see
and if theres treasure out there to be found
then i dont care, i just want you around

VERSE 1
theres palaces of gold
so they say and forests oh so old
and that theres mountaintops so cold
make sure you live to see it all
cause they say life comes at you fast, and you cant even keep up
with how much of it has passed, but honestly
i dont even mind if they are wrong or right
all i know is time just stops when youre right here by my side

CHORUS
if i didnt have you here with me
id say theres so much out there yet to see
and if theres treasure out there to be found
then i dont care, i just want you around
if there was nothing else for us to do
in our very own refugio
id just wanna watch the clouds with you
in our very own reclusio

VERSE 2
you know its really hard to stay
when the weight thats holding you back gets lighter every single day
so just take my hand lets run away from here
who cares whod care if wed just disappear
and if i had thousand years to see the lands
i wouldnt need to take a single glance
and if i had a thousand oceans to sail through
id never find something as beautiful as you

CHORUS

BRIDGE
when you look at me i realize
theres only so many birds in the skies
theres only so much water in the sea
but in your eyes there lies infinity

CHORUS

this one is about my trip to malta last year. its the first song i made this year, in january, with the intention of it being a more upbeat version of snow globe. its the only one with guitar in the back and features the most questionable vocals of all 6 songs as in january i thought it was a good idea to do a long note at the end


LYRICS:

VERSE 1
steps after steps, spiraling into horizons
what youre looking for, it all seems so far 
away from here, resembling all the broken pieces
of the past you already forgot

PRE-CHORUS 1
you took your time to come here
you better persevere

CHORUS
the wind stokes your fire inside
your mind as strong as the rising tide
your memories fortified, 
youre invincible tonight

VERSE 2
you and the birds in the sky the only ones to hear the oceans
waves crashing in, onto those rocky cliffs youre crossing
as tall as towers and as strong as your will to carry on
along those warm rocks in the sun

PRE-CHORUS 2
too late to turn around
your hands have come unbound

CHORUS
the wind stokes your fire inside
your mind strong as the rising tide
your memories fortified, 
youre invincible tonight

BRIDGE
closing out a peaceful evening with a can of cisk as in the
blue distance the water melts the sun
your thoughts are wandering off to beaches and lagoons and corals
as sliema watches over you

CHORUS
the wind stokes your fire inside
your mind strong as the rising tide
your memories fortified, 
youre invincible tonight

OUTRO
inviiiiiiiincible toniiiiiiiight

sliema

made in march. my favorite lyrics of the 6 original songs. its about getting (un)lucky in poker and a cryptography exam that i failed in january, couldnt take in february because i had covid and then finally passed in march, just a few days after finishing the lyrics to this track.


LYRICS:

VERSE 1
i promise not to kill time
or mess with the beauty of two intertwined timelines
or settle for the queen of hearts
come to think about it, we might as well play cards
 
suns dawn made me fold my hand
lay down the things that i dont quite understand
march has got me picking up some of the pieces
return to believing, thinking its feasible

now im not just gonna shove though
i think of it as some odd kind of walkthrough
the kind that kids use, that kinda just fits you,
the kind that really just highlights the kindness in you

cause kindness youll sow and love you will harvest
so baby just wait, just wait and be honest
be it the first, the second or last seed
april come she will, an eternity in a heartbeat


CHORUS 1 & 2
a few more turns and cut corners
no souls were here ever before us,
in the end it all should make sense
cause lady luck rewards patience

so wherever you are, keep the lights on
cause we always let bygones be bygones
down the road i hope you keep your smile on
and shine, baby, shine baby, shine on

i love your sassy remarks that shame me
and your words of advice that *make* me
just one afternoon in utopia
your laugh is like a cornucopia

a few more turns and cut corners
no souls were here ever before us,
in the end it all should make sense
cause lady luck rewards patience


VERSE 2
i do trust in technology
but sometimes i need a real reminder
id never fall for fallacies
like youd never love me... honestly

i know how bad a bad beat hurts - and
i know you think its undeserved and i know youll hit them even worse
i know how cold the ice can be
but agony is part of bliss and love is part of misery

so promise me youd wait as well
it doesnt have to be forever - you dont even have to tell me
where and why and how and when two hundred seperate journeys end
and become one instead

youd think being immortal gets stale fast
when relationships feel as fragile as glass
when a lifetime feels as thin as paper
then you just need the right thing to wait for!

patience

shy boy, stir me up
didnt even know you got the midas touch

reclusio

shmax