I also kept wanting you to say Cormac McCarthy...

Half-Blood Prince chapter 3. Wizarding World Gold (not to be confused with Wizard World Gold, which is what I did googling this story) is finally here, and it's more or less the same product the leak warned us it would be! We spend a while breaking down what the hell this service is exactly before discussing chapter 3 of HBP, which is both fascinating and frustrating. Who is this new version of Dumbledore? Has the sprint towards the series' end begun in full force? Is the Kreacher storyline a scathing indictment of capitalist exploitation, or is it a parable about how owning slaves is okay as long as you're nice to them? What the hell is misty fug??

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The Shrieking Shack

Episode 85: Misty Fug

Half-Blood Prince chapter 5. We scope out the Magic Awakens situation, chat about the Wizarding World Gold journal, and play some piano before diving into an extremely dense chapter of family drama at the Burrow.

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Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Episode 87: When I Was...

Half-Blood Prince chapter 8. We reminisce about Fyre Festival and check in on Wizarding World Gold before banging our heads against Half-Blood Prince's confusingly selective portrayal of a world mad with paranoia but also not all that worried about Voldemort doing anything. Oh, but Snape gets some time in the spotlight this week, and it's incredible.

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Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Episode 90: Post-Knut Clarity

Half-Blood Prince chapter 9. After taking a week off, we're back with tarot news and a personality analysis for Dobby! Then we have quite a chapter to get into, featuring a revamped Ernie Macmillen, Secret Agent Jack Sloper, and a hearty serving of Snape Content, as well as some weird potions and portentous smells. Finally, we listen to the newly released A Magical Time of Year, aka the Wizarding World Christmas album. You're not ready, honestly.

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Episode 91: Sloper & Dingle

Half-Blood Prince chapter 11. Well, we got our wish. The monkey's paw has curled, and JK Rowling has returned to Twitter, but never in our wildest dreams could we have predicted exactly how she did it. Instead of coming back to dance around being a TERF, she just threw the mask off entirely and scorched the earth. This conversation dominates our news segment, but we do at least have an extremely goofy chapter to rip on to balance things out. Finally, to interrupt a deep dive on Dark Middle Chapters, the Harry Potter subreddit swoops in to... save the day!?

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Episode 93: Chaos Reigns

Half-blood Prince chapter 12. Happy 2020 everyone! Liz kicks the decade off with a harrowing tale of arcane coincidence, and we have one hell of a chapter to dig into. Choke-slams, cruel pranks, property crimes, curvy barmaids, and a mysterious curse awaited us this week. Finally, we check in on the Wizarding World website, just to see if everything is still Normal there.

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Episode 94: Awooga!

Half-Blood Prince chapter 13. Hoooooooooo-wee. We chat about WB's new AI greenlighting tool, the Fantastic Beasts franchise news, and a new low for pensieve chapters before checking in with Yelp and Google reviews for several Harry Potter tourist attractions!

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Episode 95: You Cannot Account for Cumberbatch

Half-Blood Prince chapter 14. We've got a real doozy of a chapter this week. Is it as bad as the last two? Maybe not. Is it weird and unpleasant in its own way? You bet! Ron and Hermione hate each other, Harry and Ron hate each other, Ron hates Dean Thomas, Ron hates Ginny, Ginny hates Ron, Hermione hates Harry, and Harry hates... Harper? Everyone is mad and full of contempt this week, and we do our best to pick apart this particularly venomous chapter of Harry Potter. Finally, we cleanse our souls with a long-overdue visit to the confessional!

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Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Episode 96: Ford vs. Ferrari

Half-Blood Prince chapter 15. After a series of truly dire chapters, we're granted a reprieve with a week's reading that features some pretty low lows, but some relieving highs. We chat about Jude Law's taste in heels, the continuing drama between Ron and Hermione, some truly vile implications for Fred and George's business acumen, some genuinely touching Luna content, and much more. We also manage to blow each others minds a couple of times with our big-brained revelations. Finally, we try to create Dobby in an alt-rock magazine's character quiz. Will we succeed? Tune in to find out!


(content warning: if you don't want to hear us discussing Love Potions and their related issues, skip to 46:30 once you're past the news segment)

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Episode 97: Defend Dob-Punk

Half-Blood Prince chapter 16. We've got some music-quiz-related business to attend to this episode, as last week's estimation of Harry Potter's (and by extention, Dobby's) taste did NOT satisfy us. First, though, we have a dreaded recap chapter to... well, recap. Surprise! Everyone is being horrible to each other for no reason and the world they inhabit makes less sense with every new detail, but we make the most of a frustratingly fractured chapter that could be fantastic.

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Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Episode 98: A 1, and a 2, and a...

Half-Blood Prince chapter 20. Lost at sea without much news this week, we are left to contend with The Terror: the knowledge that constant information blowouts on J.K Rowling's new book and the next Fantastic Beasts film--and perhaps something else?--are looming on the horizon. We also have an interesting chapter this week, full of Evil Gentleman content, pensieve strangeness, and (at last) the reunification of our main characters. Finally, we elect the way of pain and read some truly dark content from The New Yorker.

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Episode 102: Voldemort's Lookbook

Two lapsed Harry Potter fans on a journey back through the books they (used to) love so much. Updates every Friday!

Episode 93: Chaos Reigns

The Shrieking Shack

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