From the film "Zinfandel" directed by Dylan Walsh

I Missed You So Much - from "Zinfandel"

from the film "Zinfandel" directed by Dylan Walsh

Saying goodbye - from "Zinfandel"

I’ve cried so many tears over the past few weeks. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of both at once. I’m well-aware of the racism I experience as an adult in America, but recently realized that I’ve buried a lot of trauma I experienced as a kid in Zimbabwe. Now it’s all coming back up. I knew my problems were smaller than so many other people’s, but forgot that they weren’t invisible.
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I used to get beat up, spat on and verbally abused, sometimes more than once a day, over the color of my skin. I was denied entry into some places, bullied at others, and treated like a thief by security for following my mother around grocery stores. One of my teachers made me stand on her desk while she beat me in front of the class. I was pushed down in a soccer match and, one by one, my classmates ran over my face. Many of the kids who bullied me were told to do so by their parents.
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Back then, my self-defense mechanism was not to let it get to me, because I didn’t have the emotional tools to handle how much it hurt. I told myself that I would grow up to be powerful. That fighting back would only hurt them like they hurt me. At times, I just erased it from my memory. I’m grateful for whatever decisions my childhood mind made to preserve me; however, it means I’m still hurt. I’m also grateful to have found the tools and courage to address my resurfacing pains. Which I now know, thanks to years of self reflection, are GROWING pains.
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I’ve recently talked to a lot of people who are also hurting. Because of pain they’ve witnessed, pain they’ve experienced, or pain they’ve been the cause of. Please, if you’re hurting, don’t run from it. These are wounds crying out to be healed so that we can GROW. As individuals and together. If there’s growing you need to do that you can’t do on your own, I recommend therapy to anyone who hasn’t tried it, or who hasn’t tried it in a while. If you can’t afford therapy, search for free or low-cost therapists and support groups in your area or online. Try meditation. Try anything and everything to find what works for you. Your mind is your existence and there is no shame in taking it to the doctor.

Growing Hurts

Using words as weapons of love
My debut album is out now! 
https://shungudzo.lnk.to/Imnotamother
contact: mark@vectormgmt.com

Growing Hurts

Shungudzo

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