P()LARIZE

sick boi
yeah
                         I wanaa die older
   be happy live life not smoulder
   my heart has got            colder
                            im never sober  
                          I wana die older
           remember once i told her
         excited for life now bipolar
just wanna cry on your shoulder
Stab wound gunshot gloooom
mood
serendipity pleaze hit hit hita me
bout to leave this place ket ket ketamine
living in this fucking tiny metropoly
lifes re-cyclin all these atrocites
leaves me crying enourmusily
aye-yeah
Leave earth feel my concience be just sliding through
Click restart at will alll i wanted was to start a new
hit respawn in a world someplace im not broken too
somewhere with the sun, stacks of doe and a baby boo
                            ……….but
my mind fulla traps, jumpitty
lethal fuckin minefield rabiitty
circus jumping the hoop trickiity
today i feel better, yesterday shiity
once again no feelings damn trickery
how to escape this fucking misery
i wanna stab myself slice my wrists and cry for help
                         I wanaa die older
   be happy live life not smoulder
   my heart has got            colder
                            im never sober 
                        I wanaa die older
   be happy live life not smoulder
   my heart has got            colder
                            im never sober

N()T YET

living with depression be damned
feel no emotions
my life be a scam
everyday repeat of the last
see no purpose
in this bleakfulness man
deez days young people be sad
i cant express the feelings i harbor
for the matter of fact i can
I dont feel anything where is my shotgun
kurt cobain killed himself young
so have so many others
some days i just stare at the sun
dont see any of the beautifull colors
in my head no thoughts im dumb
wondering if ill just be another one
around me they may think i am scum
cept for the ones i hurt, sorry mother
I dont see no purpose in continuing this
shits making me feel sick
Im certain i am
I see so many people like this
nothing makes me happy  
no drugs no bliss 
never endning existencialism
convert you depression becomes your religion
forget any meaning, even a smidgon, 
comming from a place all too known, my own prison
I know theres an answer im just not seeing 
polarities fucked always fighting my demons
suicide, leave my bed in the evenings
when i wake up cant fucking sleep cuz im dealing
with shit   …  my brains flooded with it 
I try to forget things that happened but cant
dont know what could fix me heal me
make me feel whole again fucking really 
some days it just get so enourmously bad 
my brain cells pumping out just one thing damn
can you fucking end al this fam
in the end all i can do is but hang
on hope the next dayll be better
wake up again, check the time and the weather
continue this loop
for fuckin ever

The war i fights in my brain
have to deal with battle scars every day
battleing through all this pain
molly come down forever repeating again
brain dead like bums from butane
Somedays it so fucking hard to maintain
bearely hang by a strain
thin cant hold me in vain
might aswell jump in front of train
living with depression be damned
feel no emotions
my life be a scam
everyday a repeat of the last
see no purpose
in this bleakfulness man
deez days young people sad
i dawn my dented, clawed scratched up armor
in front of me my life spans
hopefully it will to hold up

P()LARIZE

Sickb0i