SIKCOM - Santa Clause is a Fake (prod. by Nor'Ledges)

LYRICS:
I remember when they used to tell me 
That Santa Claus was real (real)
But I am smarter than that
I am not swindled by mass appeal
x2

Take it back to the 4th grade, I was 10 then
Wrote a letter to the North Pole, just askin
Santa could I please have this action figure
Obi-Wan chillin with a blue light saber 
Woke up in the morning and I ran to the tree
Opened my gift but what did I see
Tighty whities, 3-pack, Macy’s
Worse part there was no gift receipt 
I felt betrayed, misled, belief in a disarray
Worse than when I found out people can’t sweat gatorade
I was just a kid, but I felt I lived
a thousand years of empty fibs
Didn’t make sense I was nice all year 
Didn’t do one wrong thing outta fear
Then I got hit with the truth (truth)
The moment I outgrew my youth (oh no)

Santa Claus is a fake
It’s either that or a snake 
Santa Claus is a fake
It’s either that or a snake
X2

How can the reindeer just magically fly
How does he travel the globe in one night
Faster than even the speed of the light
Is it a sled or the Enterprise (Star Trek)
Look, like how could that even be possible,
Think about physics, the whole thing improbable
A man of that size could not size fit in my chimney
And if you believe that you gotta be kiddin me
So many sketchy habits to address
Breaking n entering, without a warrant
He wants you to sit on his lap without warning
All the Elves working, labor laws foreign
How come he always be talkin bout ho’s
And watchin you sleeping like creepy pedo
And drinking the milk with plenty lactose
If you ask me, they’re all innuendos 

I remember when they used to tell me 
That Santa Claus was real (real)
But I am smarter than that
I am not swindled by mass appeal
x2

Santa Claus is a fake
It’s either that or a snake 
Santa Claus is a fake
It’s either that or a snake
x2

Santa Claus is a Fake

LYRICS:

I got a clean mouth, 
No potty mouth for me
I use that Listerine,
Cussing ain’t my cup of tea

Holy ship you mudderfudging piece of shitake mushroom
I hate your guts you fricking piece of ship but I must not assume 
I keep it G-rated, like the Gangster I am
But you can read between the lines and see that you’re not my friend

What the heck, you can burn in H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS,
That’s what you get, I can’t believe you think your bum is super thick

Of all the girls I’ve ever met, you’re the absolute worst-est (the worst)
You’re the sluggiest of them all, so you can suck on my deck (oh yeah)
Suck my deck, suck my deck
You can suck on my deck
I’ll even print it out in pdf before I present

You wear them short short shorts, flirt with them jocks and dorks
You such a slug, (that’s right I said it)
A big ole’ slug, (yeah you heard it)
You’re like a snail without the shell, slide naked straight into motels
You such a slug, (that’s right I said it)
A big ole’ slug, (yeah you heard it)

I bet you’re all about that HORTiculture,  (HORTiculture)
That’s right I’m talkin ‘bout that gardening (or am I?)

After all, you’re a hoe, garden metaphor of course,
At twenty four, you’re just a hoe looking poor, nothing special, 

I gotta a huge COCK...erspaniel (it’s super big)
and it’s BEAUTIFUL to look at (seriously look at this photo)
If you want to COME touch it (you can come over)
It’s better than expected

I got a clean mouth (clean mouth)
No potty mouth for me
I use that Listerine (listerine)
Cussing ain’t my cup of tea

Holy ship you mudderfudging piece of shitake mushroom
I hate your guts you fricking piece of ship but I must not assume 
I keep it G-rated, like the Gangster I am
But you can read between the lines and see that you’re not my friend

Oh my gosh what the heck, go to heck, burn in heck,
Get the heck away from me, you can shut the heck up

No Cussing [prod. Potillo]

ROOFTOP (prod. Kid Ocean)

LYRICS:
My name is Owen Wilson,
I got a broken nose
I got one thing that I like to say
Everybody knows 

It’s my favorite word
This little phrase of mine
I know you musta heard
I say it all the time

wow

Captivated by the booty, I’m a star and a meme
I’m in animated movies, I’m a car on the screen

I’m honestly amazed like WOWW
Don’t know what to say like WOWW
Acting all surprised like WOWW
Forgetting all my lines like WOWW

Spend Midnights in Paris
I’m in Shanghai at noon
Got a dawg his name is Marley
I’m a really funny dude

I make love in Wedding Crashers
I kick butt in Drillbit Taylor
I’m the best me in Zoolander and  
I’m besties with Ben Stiller

My name is Owen Wilson,
I got a broken nose
I got one thing that I like to say
Everybody knows 

It’s my favorite word
This little phrase of mine
I know you musta heard
I say it all the time

(wow)

My name is Owen Wilson,
I got a broken nose
I got one thing that I like to say
Everybody knows 

It’s my favorite word
This little phrase of mine
I know you musta heard
I say it all the time

(wow)

Prod. by Nor'Ledges

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