WATCH THE FULL VIDEO: https://youtu.be/aaE2Isa1rPQ

Brodecai as Slenderman (Audio)
Dudz as Slenderman (Video)
Vladimyr P. as Jeff The Killer (audio) 
Dudz as Jeff The Killer (Video)
YDGeon as Announcer

Slenderman: 

Confusion is what humans may feel with my presence
but nothing compares to your whole storie’s coherence
The photos will show that a threat’s what i pose 
I brought fear to the mist, your whole thing’s getting smoked!
not close as a foe, either way, i’m approaching
No traces, thats why i’m acting silenced
When least expected, they’ll be infected 
feeling burnt out to end up missing like your eyelids
My legend’s what settled this whole sensation 
Spreading shock and fright to entire nations 
Looks like ripped off Joker can’t be taken so serious
The only cracks you got just made you go delirious
Rejected by the Wiki, and your fans grew tired
How you’re gonna fire back when your status backfired?
Dare to enter my domain, there's no way you can survive
 but judging by your face, you’re always due to ‘’crossing lines’’
   
Jeff the killer:

Jeff the killer, death is quicker 
So you better run while you still can
Arrive at night, sharp as my knife 
That's why i’m gonna slice up Slenderman!
Enter your domain? as if it was your reign
But you forgot something: I GOT WOODS ON MY NAME!
My lines are packing heat, cuz i’m giving burns like bleach
Feeling stressed? should be! you’re next on my murder spree 
Tried to hit the big screen, and your film was a debacle
That budget couldn’t prevent you of being Something Awful
cuz a game brought your fame, then decayed years later
As always, you’re a lame excuse to seeking paper
For the genre, it is true that you've paved the way 
But thanks to rap battles, you went from slaying to slave
So don’t faze my rage if you still think i'm that weaker
I beat all bullies by myself, you got outclassed by a math teacher!

Slenderman: 

Slit your mouth yet those words have failed to cut deep
Causing snores is the only way you’ll make go to sleep
The damage i create can’t be healed from any mind  
You pass the same effect when seen on Gacha Life
the impact i left goes beyond some numbers
All proxies by my side, you’re only loved by Tumblr
I guess your bad rap/rep is just too hard to cover 
Struggling behind bars? should’ve learned with your brother

Jeff the Killer:

Did you teleport your rhymes? Cuz they felt so out of place
 Should’ve expected that when you lack a mouth on your face
Calling out my targets, as if yours aren’t offensive 
You’re easy to defeat; take a seat with Chris Hansen
See the bigger picture: no one’s scared of your horror
So do what you do best and just stay in the corner
Put some meaning on your writing, so its not bland as usual
Suit and tie fit just right, since this became your own funeral *laughs*

Eyeless Jack:
Its Eyeless Jack here! 
Messing with me is quite risky
Once i murder on this beat, i'll go and eat  
your ki- 
*gets shot and falls on the floor*   

Dudz:
Dude, who the heck let this guy in? The battles finished!
*sigh* Fricking royales…


Written By Dudz
Addit. Writing Help by Vladimyr P., Bacon Pancake & Brodecai
Researching Help By Danii
Beat prod. by HEKS
Mixed and Mastered by Captain Jorge
Thumbnail and cover art by Cidisswo


EYELESS JACK CREDITS

Dudz as Eyeless Jack 
Other Eddie as himself

Written by Dudz
Beat prod. by 2Deep
Mixed by Cidisswo


Special thanks to JotaSeis, Cidisswo, Vladimyr P., Captain Jorge, My Parents, Matthew Thomas, ERBParodies and you

JEFF THE KILLER VS SLENDERMAN- AMATEUR RAP BATTLES

Swizkii as William Afton
Jort as Ghostface
Grasman as Billy Loomis
Grasman as Stu Macher

(Ghostface)
Uh hello? Is Mr. “Raglan” on the phone?
I’m not looking for a job, just wondering if you’re home 
then I’ll leave you a threat, I'll leave your guts slashed out
then this is the part with the abstract background

Ghostface! Catch your life as my knife bursts
30 years strong and I’m still not retired 
Can’t kill an adult, so you sent out your kid 
I’m gutting them like a fish, all while serving a diss 

Man, I know who you are, the secrets you keep
The glasses you wear, thinking that you were discrete 
Having no motivation can be sometimes dire 
But god, Scott, please hire more writers!

(Steve Raglan):
Scream 7s in the trash, you might wanna ask me for a job
But it’s not that easy, sense you and that pog-face fell off 
I started off strong, got the audience to love me
You started off strong, but fell off by ‘Scary Movie’!

I’m Steve Raglan, I spend my time counseling’
stuff you in the back of my car, and leave you rotting in it
you’re a high schooler? Not my first choice for strangling
but I’ll make an exception and leave your greasy hair dangling’ (ahem)

I'm a smash hit! Check the box office breaks.
You’re a smash hit! When a TV falls on your face!
So sit, sit, sit, I’ve got a tip for you,
Get out with the old, and in with the new.

(Ghostface):
almost a decade for that? man, your film's the worst
I ain’t waiting 8 years for a second verse
Oh you started off strong? I’m all for twisting the plot
but the only people you’re manipulating are bots!

And we don’t even have to frame you for the crimes that you did!
Just show the cops the bodies that you so hastily hid
And the evidence that shows them how you ruined your kid
What was your game plan?, like what, did you think;

I’ll lure the desperate Mike into this trap that I spring
Just to show up last minute and stick a knife in my kid?
and let me guess, a last minute reveal that you’re the killer
Just to monologue your motive like some amature thriller?

Man I’m 6 movies deep, and I’m still making em’ scream
You couldn’t get people shouting with your 6 minutes on screen! 
Keep creeping on kids, you ain't threatening to me 
A cupcake brought you down worse than EDP!

And the kids ain’t scared either, you ain’t fooling no one 
Acted all scary and was taken down by Crayola 
So maybe tighten up those springs when you  come out to play
Or you'll be another soul getting dragged away 

------PAUSE-–DIALOGUE---------

STU MACHER:
Uhh.. houston, we have a problem


GHOSTFACE (BILLY LOOMIS):
What?!

Billy Loomis violently takes off the ghostface mask he was wearing. 

STU MACHER:
He was.. He was right there a second ago

BILLY LOOMIS:
You’ve got to be KIDDING ME

STU MACHER:
My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me…

—----—————————————----------

(William Afton as The Yellow Rabbit):

You couldn’t just leave it alone could you, this is perfect!!
I’m dropping this ghoul way faster than Ortega did 
You wanna’ play movies, here’s the best ending to me;
Both of you morons in the grave; now that’s symmetry! 

You dragged on so long, now they don’t know what to do
Looks like your writers got even sloppier than you!
Failed to get a shot on Sid, while I stacked kills! (HAHAHAHA)
You had one job, yet you couldn't do it in six films! 

critiqued a genre and then you became what you dissed
how about instead of your voice, you maybe change up your twists!
I opened up a place of joy that the children enjoyed
The only joy out of your films is you getting destroyed!

Look at you, look at the franchise you’ve become!
You’ve got your fans leaving faster than your mom  
So keep whining on how they exposed my trap
but you stay dead I always come back!

"Steve Raglan" VS Ghostface- RAP BATTLE. ft. Swizkii & Jort

Langle as Reagan Ridley
BobcatXtreme as Stanford Pines

Written by AshleyMagica & SIR Rap Battles
Additional help by Toony Loony & Erin
Mixed & Arranged by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Tone Jonez
Art by Valonide
Special thanks to JustGamer, Vanes, garbageGothic, Matt Raichous, Hazelmoth, Shion Takeuchi, Alex Hirsch & my sister

Reagan (0:10): 
JR wants me to hide you? Okay, what’s your story? 
Actually, I’m done! Screw this! You’re fucking boring! 
Oh, you think you’re unique ‘cause your hands are all screwed up? 
You have four middle fingers? Woooow. I can’t give two fucks! (laughs)

Attended Backupsmore ‘cause your life took a sad turn
What, you can’t afford a real college, Mr. Stanford? 
But I wonder how you coped in that second-rate school
That’s food for thought, and you must have a metal plateful

Our job’s to keep secrets, so let’s ask Stan what he’s seen 
‘Cause you vanished and got replaced, just like Avril Lavigne 
And then your lab was stripped clean so your bro could sell his useless crap 
When you were trapped, your life’s work amounted to a tourist trap (oh shit!)

You pack a die that could end up leading to endless paradigm shifts 
But not one would lead to Dipper picking you to side with 
Unlike you, he’d never leave his sibling ditched 
The Stan of War’s taking off more than your internship!

Stanford (0:56):
Before you insult my looks, maybe think first 
Just ‘cause you lost one doesn’t mean I’ll let you point fingers 
Then again, no prosthetics could fix your internal damage 
Forget your eyes, you just have emotional baggage 

Your father never thought to give you comfort or love 
So now you’d only land a punch when someone comes for a hug 
Kid, affection’s something you need to be mustering up 
I’d say reflect on yourself, but your mom does that enough 

Who knew a genius scientist made for the dumbest lover? 
You can’t keep a low profile when you’re getting under covers 
Then you cover-up every single man that has been in your bed 
I suppose that’s why they’re calling it Shadow Prison Ex 
 
You went from a brilliant mind at every single task 
To a drunkard killing your time downing a different flask 
I’d craft a tool to get another Reagan back into line 
But you’ve already been strangled by your own family ties

Reagan (1:41):
Bullshit, like you don’t also have an awful dad! 
Seems you forgot your past, or got addicted to Nostalgia Max 
You thought you’d patch the rift, but with your messy emotions 
You keep moving away from Stan: Perpetual Motion 

Nearly fucked the world ‘cause you thought that his tone was hurtful? 
Broke the Zodiac, but you both are still going in circles
And let’s not forget the way you drove your best friend mindless 
Turned a Blind Eye to his pleas when he was left blindsided

Stanford (2:04):
Hold it! Before you stroke your ego, 
Remember that your boyfriend vanished from your life when he went in Cognito 
Picked your job to bring peace, then you had Ron put on leave 
Fumbled in Appleton, ‘cause it doesn’t fall far from the tree 

Your biggest hope in life was to cure society’s ills 
But you teamed up with robed men trying to swipe their free will 
Was it worth all the blood you had spilled? 
When you try to play God with triangles, the whole world foots the Bill


Stanford Pines vs Reagan Ridley. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. BobcatXtreme & Langle)

#rapbattle #mario #sonic

subscribe to dilly ►youtube.com/c/DillyChannel
support dilly on patreon ►
www.patreon.com/locorapbattles
music video out now!
https://youtu.be/szq5VR7tfFk

taiga as wario
dilly as shadow
written by dilly and taiga
mixed by light
beat prod. by ennway
art by 3ple
cover art by dilly

this series is a tribute to epic rap battles of history.
www.youtube.com/user/ERB

Wario vs. Shadow the Hedgehog - RAP BATTLE!

well I've been sitting on this long enough, someday I'll get this fully produced but I'm kinda not as passionate about it anymore. in the meantime, enjoy ig !

Hazelmoth - Bugs and Walt

Art - Quagga and WAN
TN - CornCob

Beat prod. InsaneBeatz

LYRICS
Bugs Bunny
Ehh, what’s up, Doooc? And in fact, you should see one
When steppin’ up to Gray Matter, wouldn’t wanna be ya
So cough it up, wise guy, I don’t respect elders
If ya tussle with the bunny, better stick to it like Elmer

Someone call a coroner for White’s house of horrors
He’s quartering upper crusts on all 4 corners
A war on more fronts than this two-faced courter
In a rockier relationship than Hank’s quartz are

Of course, poor Skyler, you couldn’t warner brother
A coordinated hit, on your life with any lover
No coyote, just a Runner, and I’m standing on the road, so come at me
Like a short fuse, and start cooking, ACME

Walter White
…All ears? Now take a lesson from the chemist
I’ve seen more convincing bags of tricks in Junior’s breakfast
I am the danger, so watch who you are talking to
‘Cause when I cook, Albuquerque’s bout to be a barbecue

Trapped in your cels for your crackpot of lies
Call Saul if you think battery flies
When your gaslighting caused Daffy’s demise
You’ll be the first to act like the rabbit, and hide

Fuzzball, it isn’t just your tail made of cotton
No kids, a bigger limp dick than Fudd’s shotgun
Impressive, a maverick even Skyler could take
You’ll still get the smoke when White fires Blanc

Bugs
Psst, hey pal, your Fly is out
In plane sight, and like you, it spiraled down
But I’m a fan of toonforce, so see me at the altar
Otherwise, put your slapstick away, Walter

The glasses, the fedora, your style’s the murderer
Quit knocking on houses like a creep, Heisen-burglar
You’re no heroine to Jane, and wouldn’t you believe it
Now you get a rise out of death, like a Phoenix

Beep beep, here’s a word of advice
Don’t throw fisticuffs at me like “that’ll hold em, awright!”
You’ve been in the Sky with diamonds, Blueballed from getting frisky
This dance will end when I take the waltz out, like Disney

Walt
Fine, I confess, I stole the show from the aggressor
I’ll simply forge a trap for the mad cross-dresser
Say the name aloud, and I’ll school all of your lame gags
Leave you seeing stars, when I crush you into Space Jam

Take a math class from an older guy
You’re like cancerous cells ‘cause you multiply
When I divide you and leave half your face left
The remainder is as much a Wacky Racist

I’ve had enough of your lustful urges
Shut your bars down, like MultiVersus
I’m a real hitman, with the better Whits, man
Poetry is just in the W business

Bugs Bunny vs Walter White

This is an early audio, you’ll get the video when you get it lol

Langlelee as Sarah
Rosenthal as Mahito 

Written by Teimunity

Art by Teimunity and Creeperpasta 
Graphic Design by ClarencetheDuck

Beat by Teimunity
Mixed by Jordy

Mahito • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

(Ooooh…what’s this?)

Y’knooooow, I never really liked the game of Cat and Mouse
So I beg you don’t make this like your body and drag it out 
Picking fights with MORE spirits? What were you thinking!
No matter, I’ll mash your code in with the flick of my pinky! (Ahahaha!!!!)

What a digital circus! I hope you’ll keep me amused
I beat the dogshit out of Yuji, what’s more animal abuse?
What are friends for, am I right? They found a lake and fucking dropped her
Now she can’t float back to Lily, how’s the view down in the water?

“Ohhh WAHHH!! I got whacked by my friends, now I gotta go enact revenge”
“They didn’t apologize, so they HAVE to die and meet their ends!! (Wah wah hah!!!)
You’re exactly like Nobara, blindly fighting so careless
And that eye for an eye analogy, ha, you NAILED IT!

I’m just poking fun at how your life’s so feeble
I can see your patience running thinner than a needle
But I can help if you want to get in touch
All you have to do is pop in this disc and you can finally CD-eez nuts!

Needl3m0use • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

Enter my world? You’ll wish that you didn’t 
I tell no lies, I’ll give a new meaning to “snitches get stitches”
I know your shticks manipulation, claiming all you’ve said is true 
But you’ll end up just like Luther, a fox caught on a noose

So if you wanna come try to run me a fade, then your done for, fist fly, buddy’s gonna pay, make him run more
You’ll just die if you try to break me with blunt force, the only fights that your ever waging are thumb wars
Wrap it up, bandage man, or get plastered, you’re stuck in my domain now, you bastard
No matter the matter, you’re tattered, I’m leaving you battered, bow down to your master!

(HA HA!) I was beaten and bruised to the point where my body had withered away
(It’s True) But it still isn’t worse than the previous victim you lead to dismay
(Oh no!) He trusted you dearly, but push came to shove, he fell right in your hands
(Well, well) It’s seriously funny, a sheep in wolf’s clothing had slaughtered a lamb!

Bask in the dripping blood as your ripped into pieces
And have your body wither longer than your seasons releases
But if you think that your soul will rest, what I have for you’s special 
You’ll be another puppet in my grasp: a shiny new vessel-AH!

Mahito • Verse 2 (10 Bars)

*Mahito slices off Sarah’s hands and takes the vessels, then mixes them into his own body* YOINK!
Thanks for those, I really gotta HAND it to you! AHAHAHAHA!!!

AH! Such power from the soul of a weak bitch
It’s no surprise the hedgehog was going to eat shit!
But if you were trying to take my mind, it’s gonna take more than some empty threats and flickering lights to even achieve it!

BRING MADNESS TO YOUR PALACE, I AM CALLOUS TO YOUR STATUS
TURN YOUR WORLD TO A BLANK CANVAS, IT’S EXACTLY HOW I PLAN IT
All I need now is two words to go reign and ravage 
You cannot be salvaged; Domain Expansion…

Needl3m0use • Verse 2 (8 Bars)

Hm.

You thought that I’d die? You’re wrong, but you tried
You should’ve let me control your life, but now you will writhe
See, I gave you a chance to survive, but I’m just one you cannot contest
How can I fear humanity when I have none left…?

This is what happens when you play God for an idiot
You get plucked like a rose, and the thorns impale through your stitches
And through your pathetic escape, the air around you starts thinning 
Life starts to gain a meaning when you lose the privilege of living it

Needlem0use vs. Mahito • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

LYRICS

Candle Cove
Look, there’s a cave ahead! I-I-I don’t have the heart to go
Percy, you need to explore! It’s Mr. Bear’s Party Cove
Do-Do I have to? Yes! Go inside
Go inside. Go inside

Mr. Bear
Welcome to the cellar, kids
Today, we’ll be braving a show about pirates and skeletons
I’ll pull up my rocking chair and you can have a seat too
So all of Caledon can see exactly how I beat you

Kids, he’s got a tooth buddy, but he can’t harm me
You should know by now that us grizzly bears got sharp teeth
All ages can enjoy my show, we’re nowhere near Cove
I’m all the way at 21, you’re stuck on Channel Zero!

You show a bunch of rusty puppets - nobody’s digging it
I bring a soup and spoon ready - the kids are diggin’ in
I know you want to stay, but I sadly am declining
‘Cause I don’t see a pirate anywhere on the invite list

Percy
Wh-what happened to my crew? Where’d they venture off?
A-anybody out there? Janice? L-Laughingstock?
L-listen, you did great, but my time’s better not wasted
In the big brown bear’s scary and decrepit basement

I-I get you think you’re better, but it’s a safe bet
That channel surfing doesn’t mean you’re on my wavelength
I mean, with rabbit ear antennas? I-I thought it’s expected
Y-you’d know your frequencies tend to get poor reception

T-the kids turned off Pokemon’s show and w-w-went to yours
Switching Gotta Catch 'Em All with T-T-To Catch A Predator
N-now don’t get angry, I don’t want anyone getting hurt
But uh, ask one of your captive kids to write a better verse

Mr. Bear
That’s very nice, Patty, but I think you need to pack your bags
Mr. Bear’s cellar doesn’t have room in it for scallywags

Percy
Well if I… wait, wait, oh GOD, THAT’S HORRID
You’re not playing hide and seek, YOU’RE JUST HIDING CHILD CORPSES

Mr. Bear
Maybe the mask’s muffling me, so if I’m not clear
Get the fuck out, you don’t belong here

Percy
[                                                                            ]
[                                                                                                ]

Mr. Bear
Shut the fuck UP!

Me? Mad? Oh, it’s just late in the day
I’m still full of joy and ecstasy, make no mistake
Now let’s show Caledon 21 the fun games that we play

Trash must be cleansed and you’ll be who I start with
Story, production, verses, all garbage
You’re dribbling, static, come listen to my voice
I’m music to the ears, and all you are is white noise

This ditch right here will make sure that Satan’s satisfied 
And I’m sure all of your fans would make for the greatest sacrifice
(cut to fire crackling) Feel your plastic skin melt away
Your cove’s in a faraway land, Hell awaits

Skin Taker
Best turn back now, ye’ wayward lost soul
‘Lest Jolly Mr. Rogers be turned to crossbones
All those who met my glass jaw have abandoned hope
This is your final stop, WELCOME TO CANDLE COVE 

Gave lads some orange juice so they wouldn’t be thirsty
HAHAHAHA WHAT? SO THE DEAD KIDS DON’T HAVE SCURVY?
That billowing pit ain't a sighting to behold
You misheard me, I said FIRE IN THE HOLE

I’ll grind ye’ hide very well until you’re made to pedo pelt
Jones will find ye’ severed flesh DEEP DOWN IN THE DEPTHS OF HELL
SO GO INSIDE. GO INSIDE.
GO INSIDE. GO INSIDE.

CREDITS

Shimario as Pirate Percy
GamingPlush64 as Laughingstock
garbageGothic as Janice

Swizkii as Mr. Bear

Rabi as The Skin Taker

Written by Rabi
Additional writing help from GamingPlush64
Beat prod. by Breathtaking Beats
Arranged, Mixed, & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Spotify Art by Hauntedcicadasongs

1999 vs. Candle Cove - Rap Battle

DumbShlop as Happy Appy

Kurobane Azia as Mei Lee

Written by Hazelmoth
Additional help by The Lemons

Beat prod. by DillyDally
Mixed and Mastered by Zagranis

Appy Art by Hazelmoth
Thumbnail by Hazelmoth

Special Thanks:
AshleyMagica
garbageGothic
Langle
Matt Raichous


Happy Appy

Hi! It’s Happy Appy, setting foot in this match
Don’t touch that dial, ‘cus I’m running it back!
I’ve got an exercise to show, so let’s get experimental
Tonight —--------be seeing you at the temple

Watchers rejoice! Handing dubs like a passport
Check the CC, and I’ll give you a [CRASH COURSE]
I’d never pass an opportunity to teach kids
So Happy Appy’s here to crush your dreams, like Ming did

Children, open up your Appy Apps!
Today’s appetizers are some Appy Raps!
That’s the facts! Aren’t I just a natural?
[A BOMB HAS JUST STRUCK ONTARIO’S CAPITAL]

Mei Lee

I dunno why you’re here barking those lips
Targeted towards kids, also targeting kids
Here’s the gist, if my name is Mei Lee, maybe
I must assume I’m really good at melee, baby

Nobody’s getting in your van, you prick
Can it with the damn threats, Granny Smith
You’re demented, fermented, a pansy to burn
No hidden gem, just an Amber Alert

Jammin’ with the gals and boys, you wish you had my popularity
There’s Nobody Like U? Im boutta parry a parody
Knock a rotten clay doll with awful fables
Right off of cable, and into therapy

Happy Appy

H-H-H-Hi it’s Happy Appy! Reading rights like Miranda
Don’t touch that dial! I’M RUNNING HER BACK UP—---

FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER! I gotcha, red handed!
Pandemonium so bad, FCC had to ban it
This Apple owned you, I’m hurtin’ heads
Taking shots, now you’re turning red

This prowler powers through your finest hour
Leave networks fallin’ like CN Tower
Dropped a damn dome on their domes, you’re delirious!
Full stop, bitch, I’ll end this like a period

Mei Lee

Gloves off, scares don’t work with the redhead
You’ll fall from your tree to the worms on your deathbed

Get bent! Push me, I’ll push your core out
Like a storm cloud when I raise the roof like 4Town!
Slam you in the ground if you wanna see an earthquake
I’m so fly, you never had airtime in the first place

So professor, hows a fruit got beef with Noggin
I predict you’re a disaster for all creepypastas
The winner of this match, now that the battle has ended
A crime was committed, hope you ain’t bad with Forenziks

Happy Appy vs Turning Red - Rap Battle (ft. DumbShlop and Kurobane Azia)

Snakebite126 as Nagito Komaeda
Matthew Picciotto as Desmond

Written by Jofinity & SIR Rap Battles
Additional writing by Dilly Scott & Athena
Mixed & Arranged by SIR Rap Battles
Art by ItsPizzaBox & Cole
Beat by Kiba
Special thanks to Jofinity, Dilly Scott, M!CAH, Rabi & JustGamer

Nagito (0:11):
Geez, I’ve never seen somebody so bereft of hope
Your empty soul’d fill a better role as a stepping stone
(Eurgh) But I could smell your odor the moment you left your home
Forget the gun, your scent alone is pest control

I gotta say, you’re so unkempt and uncouth
That trash like me would fit right in that wreck of a room!
(sighs) Can’t you decide already? Just do it if you’re so eager
I guess it’s fine... your wife isn’t committing either

Desmond (Depressed) (0:35):
Okay… I’m gonna spit some bars now… 
And I’m gonna make you fucking watch.

By the time you misled your friends
And found the traitor you were already dead to them
So you can take the shitty hope you sell and go to hell
A stroke of luck won’t make me happy, I’ll just stroke myself

Because of you, there’s a real awful problem
My wife took the kids when I bought Danganronpa
So yeah... my life’s a living hell and you didn’t help
Though, I almost smiled… when you killed yourself

Nagito (1:05):
We must be on a rollercoaster ‘cause I’m nodding off
You choked so hard that I’m assuming you saw your dog
All you ever do is spread misery like Despair Disease
Charlie and I would rather leave - and your hair agrees
 
You even made Pim despair with your awful tone
And managed to tear apart families that aren’t your own
You’ll be scum under my boot as soon as I’m done with you
My hope will join your weight in the massive things crushing you--!

(Desmond shoots Nagito and he dies. Desmond starts feeling a sense of… happiness inside him...)

Desmond (Happy): (1:38)
That felt… good.

Tired of dementia patients that can’t be quiet?
Know an annoying kid with cancer who hasn’t died yet?
Call Desmond’s Ultimate Control, we’ll take care of him
And save you a bigger fortune than he got from inheritance

We’ll shoot ‘em, burn ‘em, even stab ‘em with a massive spear
Spilling magenta is just how we get around in here
So if you see a one-handed shit you need drawn out
Don’t take a chance - pull the trigger and call now!

Nagito Komaeda vs Desmond. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. Snakebite126 & Matthew Picciotto)

Watch the full video here: https://youtu.be/RVPdS1Hm3Z8


► CREDITS:

Snakebite126 as The Cabbage Merchant

Hazelmoth as Morshu

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Cabbage Merchant Art by 3ple

Morshu Art by WAN

Mixed by Serena

Beat Prod. by Grizzly beatz

Cover art by JK03


► LYRICS:

Cabbage Merchant Verse 1

Excuse me, are you in the market for some food, sir?
Your body size suggests that you’re an excellent consumer

But I guess that means my cabbages would not be your first pick
You’d prefer to polish off those chocolate bars above your lip

Woah, don’t do the close-up, just close up your shop
Your store is booming with the children ‘cause you’re doling out bombs!

When it comes to safety, Morshu, you’re worse than Omashu
It’ll cost you more than 20 rubies when I file a lawsuit


Morshu Verse 1

Mmm… sorry sir, if you’re here for a transaction
I’m afraid I can’t accept that kind of cabbage

You have all those heads but your earnings are marred
When you’re roped into fights and get served a la cart 

And your cabbage ain’t fresh, it has a horrible taste
I’m selling oil for lamps, you’re selling oil of snakes

The king would take an octorock over your rotten slop for dinner
Let’s hope your comebacks are less mmm… bitter 


Cabbage Merchant Verse 2

LAY OFF MY CABBAGES you awful subhuman!
If you have beef with cabbage, then go make yourself a Reuben 

It’s true that in my cabbage days I wasn’t selling many
So I built a tech empire even Ganon envies

Cabbage Corp has been successful for years
Your shelves have never been cleared, so either look out or end up like Sears

I went from peasant to celebrity that all the people love
You got famous from two lines, but I only needed one

And your dialogue was poor, so some editors rephrased it
But they took the joke too far and things got a little… racist

Now you’ll join Lupay as you fade into obscurity 
But you still think you’re trending ‘cause you don’t know your own currency

You did amass a following of loser fans on Reddit
But boy, your game’s so weak that even Link couldn’t defend it

And the guy who had to do your voice thought you were so pathetic
That he utilized your methods by refusing to take credit


Morshu Verse 2

Mmm… your cheap tech is maligned across borders
Why don’t you trim my 'stache since you like to cut corners?

It’s obvious why no one buys the products Cabbage Corp supplies
While mine protected Koridai, yours almost let Korra die 

But at your core, you’re a lowly shopkeeper
Plucking cabbage from the ground, but your fans have dug deeper

You kept finding the Avatar and that made people start to think 
About a deep connection? That’s a pretty sorry link

Wait a minute, what’s that slug that’s in your cart?
Mmm… could you have planned an infestation from the start?

You went to Ba Sing Se and it collapsed just days later
(Gasp) You’ve never made a sale but you’re a great traitor

That’s twice now that city customs wouldn’t let you enter 
And you proved your powers as a lawbender

That’s something you’ll face punishment for, you should be scrubbing the floors
But I shall offer you “mercy”. You want it? It’s yours


Morshu vs The Cabbage Merchant. PowerPoint Rap Battles

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The official SoundCloud account for SIR Rap Battles! Here you can access my library of rap battle audios, both with and without videos, as well as remixes of other battles.

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