was gonna tweak this before putting it out but this song has outlived me as it is. created during the summer before i started college and i just needed an outlet to get my troubled feelings out there.  

" 
  i wanna have a cat
  i wanna have a dog
  i wanna be a person
  i wanna try alcohol
  i want my own house
  i wanna have friends
  i wanna be alive
  i want a telephoto lens
"

roses 2

i don't want to do this i am thinking
like a child i am speaking
to no one, just your footsteps in dirt
i was honest with myself at one point

sancho panza come home, tryna fight the giant weight from quijano
i know you like your video cameras, but i'm draggin u in

printer, please cease your fire.
i'm growing tired of all these fucking forms and deadlines
tag-teamin, tramplin' me back into bed
when the album finishes i'll be dead

i can't move a muscle
"nadie me hace caso" ringin in my head
i'm sorry

last night wasn't so bad (you know, you know it was)
had a talk with my dad (first one in six months)
april just came and went
i'll have my license by ten
waiting for a paycheck to come
10% to my mom
january can't come any sooner
a year from now i'll b

[begin; paul mccartney interlude; ends]

talk to me about diy, i know a guy who lives in frisco 
he's best friends with st. john at his college
kxlu, that lmu, i want to be a compilation too
but i don't wanna be cleaning up tables

i don't want to do this i am thinking
this refrain is redundant, and my brain is more abundant than my heart
if there's no passion in my work, do i just pad it out with words?
i've got a new car if you wanna try.

(take out the trash, put on some pants and stuff. allofthatallofthat)

stevie

special thanks to vahag sekadean and НИИ Косметики. made in 2020(21?).

no habra leche, es mi fortuna
oh my mind, i can see right through ya
baby skeleton, open ribs and grey bones
never understood how you'd make it on your own

(don't you wanna give me mine?
a lil push and i'll oh
wish upon a star for life
i'm just a lil-)

noches libres con nada que hacer
tu juego favorito siempre fue padecer
la llama quema 
niñez ya no hay
i know you're watching, but i don't know why
tv channel 429
it's like the footage shown is my alternative life
(mmviii) rocket ships in the sky
i know you're watching, but i don't know why

closed eyes, they don't c a thing
look alive, step outside
i don't wanna forget our time.

lil boy

lovely day for a new direction
asking questions
taking time out

time out
of your day
time that's gone away
time out
of your day
time's not here to stay

im spinnin myself off the hand
big one, im takin no chance
world in the palm of my hands
gurl, im not gunna land

girl, im not gonna land
throwin these stones at a clock
don't want this moment to stop
we got our love in a lock

take the time to find a way home
almost done and i've got 30 more
days to shower you with a kiss
high school class dismissed with my fists

and we're never almost over
yeah i know it
and i know it
and she know it
and she wanna come on over
but i dont want her 
to hurt

spinning myself off the hand
this time i know i wanna land

i talk to u almost every night 
got the ticket for my flight
and u know i love to lay
but i can't help feelin grey

take the time to find a way home
almost done and ive got 30 more
days to explore this little place
take me down to the discoteque
i don't care about discipline
i dont really trip offadat

found a way back home
it wasnt all so scary
i've got a story to tell
i'm old enough to tell it
now i know
why i can't go anywhere
i'll miss you too much

Almost

dirty dishes

work your home

somthin

calm luh fit

i don't got no one to go home to in my own breath
lots of notes that i took in class of shit i don't know yet
that i won't ever learned or need
but you're all that i need

i don't got no one to go home to in my own breath
lots of notes that i took in class of shit i don't know yet
parking adventures w the road closed, that's for sure
know yr thinkin' that im smart in class like "sure"

tell me what's on your mind tonight

breathe (demo 2021)

brah think he jimmy mcgriff

felt like publishing...written to cope. what else is new?

I don’t wanna jump off this ship
But These waves are crashing inside my brain
Suffocating in unknown feelings 
I’m finding comfort in my own killing

Ma, I promise you
I’m still that chubby kid you knew
But it’s been hard to find him lately
It’s been real hard
Self destruction imminent 
But at least I really like my outfit

I wanna be like you so fucking bad
You know just what to say when I get sad (all the time)
I told myself 
I wouldn’t
couldnt
shouldn’t
But when 
We’re xx xx xxx x xxxxx
I would
I could 
I should 
I shouldn’t 

xxxx xxx

I like this outfit (wip)

sounds too much like human sadness so i don't really wanna finish it

tape my mouth
i don't know how
you could think to do this now
rasie my hand to no avail
just a tear in my sail

sorry,
can you
please?
i'll do it

sorry

are you?

well i told you im doinbetta

dye your hair, baby. can't you see?
it's 2019 again!

mistakes (first version)

Radio (wip)

made in 2020

fee fi fo fum
im gonna make that giant ring his drum
come one, someone

it's not so nice if you do it twice
i can't get high if you're makin mind

she looks in the mirror and sees the shadow of a man
she brings her hand to the glass, but there's no sign of a gap
she doesn't know how to feel lately
he shows and says "you are so baby"

go to your cousin's birthday party
lay motionless on the floor of the castle
when staying awake is too much to handle
you'll never have someone to act as your candle

i just wanna be a man

it's not as easy as helado

helado

thank you for the love
thank you for the joy
but i will never want to fall in love again
thank you for the time 
thank you for your mind
but i don't ever wanna fall in love again

thank you for your skill
thank you for your strong will
but i don't ever want to call you up again

i know i'm wasting your time but I hope you don't mind

and when the dream's over 
i will close my eyes and roll over
everytime i think about love, 
i think about me singing about you
and all the things that now we can't do because i didn't try 

you coming back to say 'hi'
and i feel my anger personified
i don't wanna skip you over now,
but your presence and words send me to the ground

(and you're clueless)
just give me a chance, please stick around 
(didn't wanna do this)
i don't wanna keep running in surround sound

LAST NIGHT I DREAMED WE WERE ON MY BED AND YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT US
you said, "what's up?"

AND I WAS TOO TIRED TO THINK SO I WRAPPED MY ARMS AROUND YOU AND LET OURSELVES SINK INTO THE MATTRESS 

i got up quickly because what would u think of me?

(then i closed my eyes and rolled over)

skeleton dance party

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