WE KNOW. It's a few days late and we're sorry. But it's here now, so please enjoy!  Our guest Alex (25 yo bisexual cis-woman)has had no bad dates and has been in a loving long distance relationship since a few month before the pandemic started. HOW?? Find out!

Ep. 60 - Her Life is a RomCom

After a year (and a day), we're back!!! Okay, well almost. Sure, this episode isn't new, but it does have some hilarious bits from episodes 39, 41, & 42. Good news, we have new guests lined up. New episodes are coming. Stay tuned. Until then, please enjoy. 
04:45 - Georgi finds a hernia while flicking the bean (ep. 39)
05:22 -  Georgi's intestine is our guest (ep. 39)
06:31 - We REALLY need that seggs toy sponsorship (ep. 42)
07:05 - Mashing with no rhythm (ep. 41)
09:37 - Her Tinder date left with a split lip (ep. 39) 
13:52 - Hard pivot into Emma (ep. 42) 
14:16 - Which of us did our guest have seggs with? (ep. 42)
16:20 - Katya loves sad boys (ep. 39)
17:57 - LIFE IS UNBEARABLE (ep. 42)
18:56 - Katya's first app dates (ep. 39)
25:33- Alex's sexual debut (ep. 41) 
29:31 - Best burn in Austin's shame corner (ep. 41)
30:44 - Are you aroused John? (ep. 42)
31:38 - If I closed my eyes, I could have seffs with you (ep. 39)
32:52 - The Great War arouses Georgi (ep. 42)
33:53 - Notes from a terrible date (ep. 42)

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Ep. 61 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 8 (39, 41, 42)

Austin shaved his head. John is our podcast daddy. Georgi is back from a 2 year hibernation. And our guest Al (they/he, transmasculine non-binary person) has had to watch out for twink chasers, describes their thruple scheduling, and talks about puppy play.

(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 62 - Every Box is a Conquest

John speaks like Bane, Georgi loves race cars, and Austin keeps making references no one gets. Our guest Gin (22 yo, gay, he/him) schools us in our segement "I Matched With Who?!?!" and tells us why he is forever afraid of chihuahuas.

Ep. 8 - 5 Degrees of Grindr

Georgina brings up Rugrats All Grown Up, again. John brings up furries, again. Austin becomes Roz from Monster’s Inc, not again. And our guest Nicole (mid-20s, bisexual woman) talks about incels, Bertucci’s and Knuckles' big hands. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 16 - dummy thicc Juul rips (Chaz Finster: Portrait of a Killer)

John introduces the listeners the the binary system. Georgi sings at least 4 times. Austin finally sold his bike. And the guest Helen (24 yo straight woman) talks about seeing Nick Offerman, falling in love and wearing protection during a bj. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 18 - Squirt...Like the Soda

Roger Williams was a Puritan minister who actually ended up being banished from Massachusetts for advocating of the separation of church and state in 1635 and then started Rhode Island, which became a safe haven for people of different religions...
(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 22 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 2 (Ep. 7-13 Highlights)

Georgi talks about that time she did contact improv. John talks about puppets. Austin says his mirror would say many things if it could talk. And our guest Rose (24 yo bicurious woman) is a dancer who loves dancing and maybe got intimate with a long-haired version of Tobias Fünke. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 24 - Muffled Cheeks

SPECIAL EPISODE: Our guest is one of the hosts of "Hooked On Weird Stuff" a new podcast where a youthful legal mind enlightens an old grizzled ex-con about weird stuff. 
John doesn't wear a shirt the entire episode. Georgi will send you feet pics. Austin calls out John's stupid idea. And our guest Kevin (35 yo straight cis-man) (or is he 29, or 44...) is a married dude who talks about sex at an Autozone and his "friend" train brain Craig. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

SPECIAL!!! Ep. 25 - Banana Land Savage

Austin poops his pants. John is extremely uncomfortable. Georgi believes he placenta belongs to the mother. And our guest Sticks (22 yo straight man, @sticksy617) talks about his internet fame from TikTok, how much he loves salmon and managing DMs. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 26 - Sticksy Gets Cheeky (Oopsy Daisy, I Camsies)

John doesn't know how phones work. Austin talks about the hit PBS show Dragon Tales. Georgi is having a dry spell. And our guest Carolyn (26yo, nonbinary queerdo) is, in their own words, a terrible, nonbinary butch. They perform on ImprovBoston's Harold Night with the team Mesa as well as in two indie projects, Wham Bam, Thank You Fam and NonBAEnary. Carolyn also sporadically does standup! (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 27 - Polite 69ing (I can plug MYSELF)

Georgi loves negging. John needs a pedicure. Austin needs to book tickets. And our guest Andrew (20-yo gay cis man) talks his virginity to a porn star, going to a co-ed boarding school and more! (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 29 - Jesus Fingerbl@sted Me At My Brother's Wedding

Georgi wants to be high on methamphetamine and is embarrassed by rose quartz. Austin is like RAAAAAIIIIINNNN. John finds a partner for his movie & tv show podcast. And our guest John (32 yo straight cis man)hates first dates, didn't yank his chain for 5 years in his 20's and educates us on why you can't have sex with your cousins. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 31 - Catholic Guilt & Tracy Chapman

Austin talks about making love to pizzas. John saw Joker in theaters and was scared. Georgi interrupts Austin. And our guest Mars (26 yo mostly straight cis woman) wants farm-raised intimacy and does not have porous boundaries. Check her out on Spotify at Ciderdown! (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 32 - You Know, the Friend Bucket!

Georgi is a liar. John had a dope Halloween party. Austin had sex in a jacuzzi a long time ago. And our guest Randy (41 yo heteroflexible cis-man) talks about having sex with his wife with other people, the legendary website meatspin and proposing on the night of the 2016 election.(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 34 - Taking A Tinkle in the Corner Pocket

Austin talks about Venmo. Georgi gets attached. John has nothing going on. Apollo the dog makes a guest appearance. And our Guest Emily (cis pansexual woman in her thirties, she/her) talks about making whoopee with Hozier and how group sex with two dudes is different from two women . Emily's husband was the guest of the previous episode! (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 35 - $ex with a Libertarian & Invite-Only Relationship

Georgi's close friend makes a return. John is a model. Austin makes a poop joke. And our guest Zoe (straight 30 yo cis-woman, she/her/hers) is a single, sober, narcoleptic middle-school sex-ed teacher who talks about fishy smells, what constitutes a nice member and the most awkward consequence of a break-up.

(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 37 - Taken to School & Condom Volleyball

Georgi doesn't need to chase waterfalls. Austin lays down some Mr 305 fun facts. John doesn't know a dab from a whip. And our guest Sarah (30 yo cisgender woman)talks about Fidel Castro, "ruining the moment," and how the labels of sexuality can be freeing for some and limiting for others. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

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Ep. 44 -Slap the Cap, CRUNCH!

Georgi has watched Top Gun. John really wants someone to buy in a timeshare. Austin is worried about being a white guy with a podcas. And our guest Linda hosts Plus 1, a self-love and dating podcast about her quest to find a partner as plus-sized woman (straight white cis-woman). She talks about body image, Linkedin stalking and more! (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 45 - Taekwondo F-Bois (feat. Linda from "Plus 1" podcast!)

Georgi becomes a cult leader. John has club song that would incite a panic attack. Austin got no sleep. Matt Damon breaks the cycle of poverty. And our guest Shea  (straight ciswoman) is a Boston standup comedian who talks about the time she got jumped, some guy's toe fetish and her different sized apples. 
(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 46 - Take Those Piggies to Pound Town

John makes a niche joke about mental health. Georgi talks about our first makeout. Austin calls out John's lying. And our guest Alexa (22 yo bisexual woman she/her) talks about lots of young men who can't kiss, getting let down from sexting, and her sexual awakening.
(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 47 - Grandmother at 21?!?

Welcome to our first episode we recorded remotely! Georgi made a joke about white people. Austin defends Scooby-Doo. John doesn't like recording remotely. And our guest Alexa (25 yo cis-woman, she/her, straight) is a graphic designer who doesn't like Scooby-Doo, has seen some weird male appendages and went to another state to meet a man she met on DeviantArt.
(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 49 - I Met a Man from DeviantArt IRL

Georgi wants us to pay for Caroline Calloway's OnlyFans. John can't stop eating granola. Austin is doing pretty well in quarantine. And our guest Tommy (23 yo gay cis-man, he/him) talks about his weird quarantine sex dreams, the parade of nations that have been inside of him, and how he really feels about gay men who like theater. 
(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 50 - I Wasn't Edged in my Ford Edge

Georig loves living rooms. John got laid... off. Austin calls the guest bland. And our guest Mikenya (28 yo straight trans-woman, she/her) is a model, starting to make music, and has two other jobs, so she's a busy woman. She prefers older men, had an awkward booty call and has a crazy epic down in a private steam room in Rhode Island. Follow her on IG @mikenya_penn

Ep. 51 - What You Doin' Grandad?!?

Wallace (23 yo polyamorous, bisexual cis-man) talks about how breakups are not a failure, failing at sex early on, and more. Seriously, one of our wisest guests, and he's only 23. Check out @christofimusic (we used his music in the intro and outro). Also check out The Q-Tip Bandits, who recently released their first EP, "Ain't It Great"!

Ep. 52 - The Stain Wasn't From a Milkshake

Austin hates feet. Georgi get interrupted AGAIN. John asks the tough questions. And our guest today Alex (22 yo bisexual cis woman) talks about her sexual awakening, being a reluctant TikToker (@nothanksalex) and growing up around the world.
(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 53 - I Promise the Promise Ring Wasn't Your Fault

We're back. After a long hiatus, we have returned better than ever, like Blonde... except without our Debbie Harry. Not to worry! We have our good friend Helen (who has been a guest before) filling in until Georgi can come back. Here are the time codes for the different bits from part 5 of our best of episodes:
01:16 - Georgi Finally Slept With Other Austin (ep. 26)
03:26 - tHis iS weIrdLY siMilAr To miDsOmMAr (ep. 26)
04:52 - Stickys617 is the Batman of TikTok (ep. 26)
05:56 - No Underage Girls & Georgi's Bad Accent (ep. 26)
06:41 - Georgi Makes John Uncomfortable (ep. 26)
08:52 - Name Change & B'nai Mitzvah! (ep. 27)
10:43 - John's Aggressive Patreon Introduction (ep. 27)
11:22 - Dating While Light Skin & Latinx (ep. 28)
15:35 - Empty T!t Bite (ep. 28)
20:32 - Vine Loved Georgi (ep. 29)
21:23 - Andrew's Royalty-Free Power Move (ep. 29)
22:04 - Talking to Our Future Selves (ep. 29)
23:46 - Unshutup (ep. 29)
24:35 - Georgi's 0-Face (ep. 29)
25:53 - Losing Your Virginity to a P*rn Star (ep. 29)

Ep. 54 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 5 (Ep. 26 - 29 Highlights)

I know... back to back best of episodes isn't ideal! We've had some audio issues that we're trying to fix. In light of that, please enjoy some amazing bits from episodes 30-34. Georgi has multiple beans and is prego, but who's the father? John turns us all on. Someone has SEKS in the coldest place. We all show our nipples. And we find out the craziest secret about John. 
Timestamps below:
02:26 - John Makes Us Horny & Georgi's Got Beans (ep. 30)
03:38 - Georgi Gets Nervous (ep. 30)
04:45 - Bad Seaman Jokes (ep. 30)
06:03 -  NonEthical NonMonogamy (ep. 30)
06:44 -  John Makes a Good Joke (ep. 30)
07:44 - John's Trite Deep Voice, Georgi Lays an Egg on our Patreon (ep. 30)
09:42 - Who's baby is Georgi Pregnant With?!? (ep. 30)
10:37 - Hurricane Tortilla (ep. 31)
12:01 - John is a Psycho (ep. 32)
12:54 - FMK Intro (ep. 32)
13:04 - FMK John Has a Very Specific Kink (ep. 31)
14:33 - FMK Infinite SEKS (ep. 30)
15:45 - Welcome to SEKS (ep. 33)
16:11 - We All Show Our Nipples (ep. 33)
17:18 - Georgi's Anxiety Loop (ep. 33)
20:57 - Vaping & the Government? (ep. 33)
21:21 - He Had SEKS in the coldest place (ep. 33)
21:42 - New Orleans SEKS Club (ep. 34)
22:37 - Pantsless Monday at the Bar turns to SEKS (ep. 34)

Ep. 55 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 6 (Ep. 30-34)

You waited patiently! An actual brand-new episode for all you S.I.M.P.'s out there. On the 56th episode, we have our introduction of our temporary co-host Helen. She forgets about how the internet works, John cannot roll his r's, Austin likes to dress up, and our guest Paula (25 yo straight cis-woman) is a Columbian currently living in Spain. She talks about how her home country shames women's promiscuity, some catholic role play.

Ep. 56 - Angel Tears Came Out Her Nose

John lies about now having seen High School Musical. Austin . Helen loves arthritis & bdsm. And our guest Ruth Lynn (24 yo bisexual trans woman) talks about what BDSM taught her about everyday life, the interesting material of her dildo and seeing red flags.

(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 57 - The Fortress of Lesbians is Severely Underfunded

John negs Helen. Austin forgot his microphone. And our guest Talyor (28 yo bixsexual cis lady) has been catfished SO MANY TIMES.

(CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)

Ep. 58 - Catfish Queen & Squirt King

Our favorite parts from our episodes with the cis woman member of a nonmonogamous relationship, a cis man in an open relationship who is the guitarist and vocalist of a grungecore band, and a narcoleptic, sober middle school sex-ed teacher.  
03:46 - Dogcast & Georgi breaks again (ep. 35)
05:35 - Ok Boomer (ep. 35)
06:13 - I had SEKS with a Libertarian (ep. 35)
09:25 - Apollo the dog REALLY wants attention (ep. 35)
10:11 - Losing Virginity Can Equal Obsession & Austin's Venmo Shame (ep. 35)
12:18 - Nick is married & Wears a Mankini (ep. 36)
14:06 - Get Married for Hospital, but Make it Funny (ep. 36)
17:54 - Sleep in the Same Bed? (ep. 36)
18:44 - Bidets, Austin's B-hole & Mike Pence (ep. 36)
22:31 - Who ARE YOU ZOE? (ep. 37)
23:43 - Narcolepsy = Horniness? (ep. 37)
25:00 - P3nis Model (ep. 37)
26:18 - John is a Brony (ep. 37)
27:36 - Vaginosis Sounds like... (ep. 37)
28:20 - Favorite Date Story & What Makes a Good p3nis (ep. 37)
32:38 - Concussions & Strippers (ep. 36)
35:29 - We don't like TI & DJ Khalid (ep. 36)

Ep. 59 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt.7 (Ep. 35-37)

Three Boston-based friends invite strangers they meet on dating apps into their homes to talk about sex, romance and dating. They discuss terrible dates, awkward interactions, the meaning of love and more!

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