I wrote “Smile” about the experience of Lyme disease controlling my emotions and thoughts to the point where it feels like someone else lives inside me.

My favorite descriptions of "Smile":
"An absolute failure as a mainstream pop song." 
"Was it supposed to have an anxious, menacing quality? ...Good, cuz I felt anxious and I felt menaced."

Lyrics: 

And you chisel off your smile
To try and see what was inside
Having fun inside your head
A simple push, you do a backbend

Can thoughts turn to led
Forgot, I’m sorry what’s what you said

Who's that 
Talking
Thinking
To me 
To me

And you chisel off your smile
To try an open up an inside
Nothing notable to me
Broken little teeth
(Just some broken teeth)

Having fun inside your head // And you chisel off your smile
A simple push, you do a backbend // To try and see what was inside
Nothing notable to me
Just some broken teeth

All-consuming you 
How pressed against 
the roof of my mouth

Step outside, chase the 
crisp air, tilt your 
chin, feel the moon paint your
skin as it glints there
Two, one, who cares

Step outside, chase the 
crisp air, tilt your 
chin, feel the moon paint your 
skin as it glints there
Patient, the stitch 
tears
-----
Thanks to Constantin Basica for invaluable mixing help!

Smile

I wrote “foggy” about that vague sadness that exhausts you and stops you from sleeping. 

Lyrics: 

And when you finally close your eyes
You know what’ll be waiting

And when you 
finally close your eyes
You know what’ll be waiting

And when you finally close your eyes
You know what’ll be waiting

But it’s ok I’m not tired
But it’s ok I’m still trying
Finally Finally
Close your eyes
Finally close your eyes
Finally close your eyes
Finally close your eyes
Finally close your eyes
Finally close your eyes
Finally close your eyes
Finally close your eyes
Finally close your eyes
---
Thanks to Constantin Basica for mixing help! 
Thanks to David Tomz for the track artwork!

foggy

I wrote “Tree Eyes” imagining that some evil force of nature could follow and invade you without you realizing it. Tree eyes creep me out, man! They’re always watching… 

Lyrics:
In the forest
In the summer forest
Dust will cloud your lungs

While the tendrils
Spindly feather tendrils
Slip through sternum and 
Lead you home

Fingers find you
Fingers will define you
On your back and no one’s there

In the forest 
You’ll be in the forest
When you stand above the sink

In the mirror
Arrive familiar
Eyes of trees grin from your own

-----
Track art by David Tomz
Thanks to Constantin Basica for supreme mix-abilities!

Tree Eyes

3 Feet (Always Ending)

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Lyrics:

There’s a bit in my mouth
No spit in my mouth
If I could just squeeze 
it out the 
milky haze in
everything would
blink out

It would blink out

Dull clasped hands
I wish I knew then
How this would end

A heart feels like 
A parasite
Under a glass eye
Reviled 
Tied up tight

And who are we 
To stand and fight
Our lips can’t they 
Can’t purse right 
Anymore

Dull clock’s hands
We watch them
Jaws hanging open

*misc*

Dull clock’s hands
Tick slower
Our eyelids lower

Unstable

like or comment if you think I should develop this / record and produce a better version. Thank you for listening!

Lyrics: 

It all hurts
But everybody’s laughing
Always tired
But everybody’s running

It just gets heavier
It just gets heavier

You are gone
Nobody to talk to
If I was wrong
Nobody will tell you

And it just gets heavier
It just gets heavier
It just gets heavier
It just gets heavier

Heavier (demo)

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Blockhead (live demo)

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Lyrics:

You already told me you’re fine
And it’s sunny and clear outside
I said what I needed to say
You say nothing

Beautiful simplicity
You’re gone you’re all wrong 
We’re nothing

I don’t know what I expected
Won’t you admit what happened
Won’t you say I wasn’t crazy
Not just a fun little toy to keep

Beautiful simplicity
It’s all gone it’s all wrong
We’re nothing

No, you’re all wrong now

But over and over 
Over and over
Over and over you
Over and over and over and over and
Over and over again
Not again

You know it when you see it don’t you
You know it don’t you see it

You already told me you’re fine
With this as your goodbye
I know I should have known better with you 
But I still don’t

Beautiful simplicity
It’s all gone it’s all wrong 
We’re nothing
nothing

Beautiful Simplicity (demo)

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Lyrics:

Silent morning
Stare at the ceiling
Sun 
Through the shade

Something’s different
I think something’s sick here
Stuck
Not the same

Maybe
Maybe

Lie to your friends
Lie til you believe it
Get away
With everything

You made me twist
I know you did
But all I know is
Fading 
Fading 

Maybe 
Maybe 
Maybe
Maybe 

You’ll be home so soon
We will be in tune

You’ll be home so soon
We will be in tune

Maybe (demo)

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Lyrics: 

Oh 
Crystal ball
You think you’ve seen me
Believe me

Oh 
Crystal ball
You couldn’t care less
but I care for you

Nobody knows it all
It’s nobody’s fault

Oh 
You make it so
Make it look easy
You’re teasing me

Oh
You say so
You say I tried and
I ruined it

Nobody knows it all
It’s nobody’s fault

Nobody knows it all
It’s nobody’s fault

Take it all away
Take it all away

Take it all away
Take it all away

Take it all away
Take it all away

Take it all away
Take it all away

Crystal Ball (demo)

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Lyrics:

How do I fight this
There’s nothing to hit
Shadows creep and
I can’t sleep and
Everything slips out of my head

I think I’ll always miss
I think I’ll always miss
The obvious thing
Don’t answer the ring
You don’t know who’s there

Walls close in
Don’t breathe in
Better to suffocate

Dracula's Son Can't Deal with It (demo)

I meet contempt with contempt
Lying here drenched sweat
Wicked dark look small
You just want watch me fall

Stick me you there
Better than all friends
Take your shot then
Never see you again

Leave me alone
Leave me alone
Leave me alone
I’m back again
Again
 
Nothing to admit
I should always win
Take your shot then
Never see you again 


Why Do You Stay (demo)

Person: was born, currently living, will die.

Slow Down Idiot

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