Great imagery here! I really like "fleshy tidbits"

Nice ending! I like how it can be inferred that there was another real victim at the end. I wonder if it could be Dakota since he couldn't be found for a while.

Great description of the setting, especially the ground. It's really helpful for what happens later in the story.

Overall, this was a really great story. I like the dark undertones throughout. There is a good amount of action and the story flows really well. You did a really great job with the recitation as well. I loved how you changed your voice for each character. You had good pronunciation and pace as well. I would consider giving more information about what is really down there at the end of the story.

First I am blown away by your ability to story tale. I felt like I was being read a story by my mom at bed time. Great work!

I love how you are very detail oriented especially in the imagery you are presenting to the listeners.

I like how you include the different situations the friends were in, it gives background information

Sometimes it is hard to keep up with the speed of the audio, try to pace yourself a little

I love the ending, the twist was the topping for me.

Overall, I love this audio reading. This is a perfect example of how to do the assignment correctly. You have the voice, details, pace. These all help make this story flow nicely and seem realistic. Thank you for your work.

"Elsie's Victim" by Rebecca Scassellati
Prompt: Ehrhardt (p. 131)
Horror
883 Words

Scassellati FF2 Draft

I am a graphic design / creative writing double major who loves comics, musical theatre, and fairy tales.

Comments

Ty Malek Powe

Ty Malek Powe

Ty Malek Powe

Ty Malek Powe

Ty Malek Powe

Ty Malek Powe

Katherine Moutis

Katherine Moutis

Katherine Moutis

Katherine Moutis