Unironic Rap Battles

Yep. Happy 5 year anniversary of TRBoCS. :D

Nice Peter as Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu
EpicLLOYD as The Boss Baby

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
FUYUHIKO KUZURYU 
VS
THE BOSS BABY
BEGIN!

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu (0:16):
Name’s Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, bitch, I’m a fucking gangster
True yakuza, shoot right through ya, you’re in fucking danger
This shithead’s met a dead end
Now I’m taking you to school, call it TedEd
Ain’t here to change your Pampies, I’ll get to dropping bodies
‘Cause when it comes to nannies, I’m more like fuckin Maki
Your work ethic is just something I can’t admire 
Sucking up to higher ups like they’re your damn pacifier 
Junko forced our whole class to watch Chiaki’s death and
It still brought less despair than your original on Netflix
I’m more stone-faced than fuckin Munakata
So drop the Poker Face, Lady Googoogaga 
Or I’ll drop a diss right on top a bitch
And like your Oscar win, I’m fuckin robbing this

The Boss Baby (0:52):
Ooh, would you look at that, it’s the scary Danganronpa man
Get real, they have a subdivision in Baby Corp. dedicated to all your fans
Each of your games is built from the same model
Franchise so formulaic, it’d fit in my dang bottle
The moment that I popped in the womb, baby I balled in it
I’ll win by more than a hair, kid, I’mma Baldwin it
Bring your whole clan and let’s get down to business
Yea, the company I’m reppin’s used to putting down bitches
Stacking layers of dough, dine on high class placenta
Rock Armani drip, leaving you dripping magenta 
Slim Shady with an eyepatch won’t be a challenge
Dressing like a pirate Gomez Addams
I won’t be forgiving your horrible temper 
‘Cause I’m more heavy metal than your choice of a weapon
So don’t get too close when you’re stepping
I’m the B-O-S-S, feel no stress, best hold your defenses
And your trashy written love story arc left you killed, bro
Seems Peko left you with Twilight Syndrome
And, uhhhh, while you were bearing all the pain and trauma with the abrasions caused from all your time as head of the yakuza
Well, uhhhh, I took your baby mama Pekoyama, showed her where babies come from, put her to rest harder than Monokuma

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu (1:45):
Talk about Peko like that again and I’ll gnash your fuckin teeth in
Let’s see how much you wanna talk shit when I put my damn feet in this fetus, I’ll leave him defeated
And dropped on a doorstep, and once I render you an orphan
How about I do what your parents should’ve and make this track your abortion (Brrrraaaahhh)
This is one tape you’ll wish never gets played back, son
You’re getting milked so hard, no wonder Francis can’t stand ya
I dodged a bullet, got my death swapped, case 3, pre-production
Your film dodged a bullet dropping Spacey before he touched it
My kin taught me discipline, you got spoiled and pampered
I’d beat the shit jokes out ya, little kid, just to teach ya some manners
I guess I’m just too old to get your appeal, sorry
But you scream disaster more than a gender reveal party 

The Boss Baby (2:19):
I’m trying to wrap my head around you, but I can’t tell which carries more weight
Your shoulders from all your losses or… the swimsuit that caved your sister’s face (What?)
God damn Baby Numbnuts, how about you stop your whining
Your lyrics are just nonsense: Jabberwocky Island
I’d take out your last eye, but you’re already so blind (Ay ay ay ay)
While I’m a bad baby, so catch me outside (Ay ay ay ay)
Quit talking to me or you oughta get beat
Get blown off of the scene like it’s Nagito’s dreams
I’m so fly and I’m killing this mic
So watch this blackened bird leave you dead in the night 

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS

Mixing/Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Anywaywell
Cover Art by Rabi

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu vs The Boss Baby. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

cartman vs freddy demo

Me as both
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Kustom

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT
VS
JERRY SEINFELD
BEGIN


Jerry Seinfeld:
Want a World War-Burton? Joe Swanson can’t spit hard
When old grandpas make up his whole fan club
But by now, I’m sure you’re used to sitcoms
Cause that body of yours sure ain’t fit for stand-up
Ayyy, Jerry Seinfeld, unrivaled
Grab a mic, I’ll go right into spittin’ fire, insightful 
Can’t hope to fight all my titles because my comedy’s dominant
While you’re awful in politics, your democracy flopped to bits
And your policies aren’t shit to the shows that I’ve landed
So this song, I’ll be calling it “Punks in Chairs Getting Their Asses Handed”
Set foot in the White House, unemployment went berserk
Jesus, not even your legs wanted to work
It’s your Constitutional right to not talk, so use it
Cause that novice Truman drops more bombs than you, man
What are your contributions? We’re all just clueless, for real!
Left the American people asking “What’s the New Deal?”
Got status higher than you during your Infamy spiel, cretin
My damn Bee Movie Script tops all your boring ass speeches
My old man fought for the Allies, so I’ll respect your appeal
But now the only Axises you’re battling are on your wheelchair wheels

FDR:
You call yourself a comedian? Those jokes were dreadful!
The only thing we have to fear is another one of your specials
To hell with your two cents, I’ll give you my right dime
I’ll need less than four terms to dismantle your tight five
FDR sets the bar extra hard ‘gainst this farce
Left in shards when I’m armed, best not harm the pres in charge
500 pairs of sneakers and still no footing in humor
Just a dried out boomer, call you Amy Shoe-mer
I trashed Hitler’s whole state, you took silver to Goldthwait
But you must be fed up with all the critics on your plate
I’m the next George Washington, you’re ignored over George Costanza
Even Madison would tower over crack Adam Sandler
I led my country through the greatest depths
When the economy crashed harder than the Marriage Ref
Then I beat the world’s evils, stirred people up with ill words
And now they pit me up against a safe for work Bill Burr?

Jerry Seinfeld:
Let’s back it up a tad bit, you cousin-loving fascist 
Don’t act like your past isn’t shrouded in trash, prick
Try rescuing refugees, or if that’s too much to ask
At least try not cramping the Japanese in internment camps
You just might be the most racist dude in World War Two
Cause even Hitler treated Jesse Owens better than you
First man to rep a black card, that’s the kinda bank this dude owns
But the only Black guy you ever liked was Hugo

FDR:
With that foul rap odor, I doubt you’re sober
‘Cause you whine about society more than the Joker
And now Gen Z memes cause your legacy to wilt
Change your sitcom’s description to a show about your skill
You barely made it, your career was carried thanks to Larry David
And you dare to claim I’m racist when your fame is dated
Fading ratings, there’s no way you’ll save ‘em, tanked just like your failed relations
Maybe make sure that the babe you crave’s of age before you date them
Franklin’s undebatedly the greatest man to grace this planet
Your bits make some lame kids laugh but my words make the stage go frantic
Make you panic, hateful tactics won’t suffice or aid your rapping
I don’t need a cane to grasp, my verbal hooks will take this has-been

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS

Franklin D. Roosevelt vs Jerry Seinfeld. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

Me as both
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Anywaywell

SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES
JEVIL
VS
MONTRESOR
BEGIN!

Montresor:
Greetings and salutations, it’s your companion Montresor
Meeting this valiant acquaintance, I must ask of one request, sir
That we skip this poor bravado and check my kin’s coat and motto
You’ll end up with Fortunado when I wreak havoc on jesters
Mask on, draped in Gothic clothing
I’m a sly Fox, more cunning than Toby
Took your first game’s whole gimmick then cloned it
There’s been no change, where’s your metamorphosis?
I’ll leave you howling for your verbal crimes,
Not talking Amontillado when I bask in your fervent whines
And once this murder’s final, you’re sure to find
I’ve committed the perfect rhyme

Jevil:
Let’s play a game, a game, I call it “Guess the Human”
This one’s consumed by petty feuding, and now his World Revolves around retribution
And wasted his life away plotting to maim his pal
But it all went to shit as their silence gnawed at his fulfillment, *cone cap jingles, beat stops* does that ring a bell?
*laugh* Too dim to pass as a Lightner
You’re at your most bright when you’re slathered in nitre 
This one is a game you’re not playing so well
Must be a Holiday ‘cause I’m taking no Ls
No chance you can match with my pace (Chaos)
You’re a tactless disgrace (Chaos)
Get Luchesi to rap in your place 
For the drunkard who authored you lacked any taste (Weehee!)
When causing carnival carnage, I am unparalleled
Dirges burning like curtains, I ride a beat like a carousel (Pip pip)
Put your friend to sleep for 50 years? You put me to sleep for a century
Tryna be invested in your story got me like, “Erm...I can do mostly anything”

Montresor:
That’s the best you could do to me?
Then I’ll be punishing this puny imp with impunity
Played your cards against a pack of children, then soiled it 
All it took was TP to flush this joker down the toilet
It’s drudgery having to wait for you
So behind in development, call you Betarune
Break you apart like the key for your cell’s lock
In paces recquiescat
For the love of god (the love of god)
I’ll put this hack in a box (hack in a box)
I Rouxl harder than Kaard (harder than Kaard)
So just call me Seam (just call me Seam)
For this ordeal’s left me in stitches and you’ve pushed my buttons so good day to you
Now the friend you once trusted shall lock you away for good, feeling déjà vu?

Jevil:
No urban legend that Boston Harbored
Could incite new ideas in your garbage author
Just another loon Poe wrote to give readers creeps 
A discount Tell-Tale but failed to keep a beat
You think you’re all that ‘cause you clowned on a jester
But as you fall flat, I’ll be crowned like it’s checkers
You spent your verse threatening thousands of injuries
Yet through it all, you’ve not once tried to insult me
I Cirque de Slay when I’m spitting
I stole the whole show as a side mission
This shabby old creep can’t keep up the tempo
‘Gainst gaming’s most demented jester since Dimentio
Oh, what a fun game this has been, frolicking in the cemetery 
So here’s one more final jest between friends and it’s not the hatchet getting buried *laugh*

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES

Montresor vs Jevil. Snakebite Rap Battles

Houdini:

It’s the great Houdini, instead of a rabbit it seems like I pulled out a weenie. It jumped out’ my hat, tried to beat me, but with a single snap, I beat him easy, peasy!

Why the hell is he qualified to be a doctor? Now that’s Strange
I’m smarter than you, whilst blood is rushing through my brain! 

Take that goofy cape of yours, get out, and take flight,
First your car, then your movie, and now you'll crash in this fight!

I made magic magnificent, all you do is stand there while your team’s efficient, but it brings in the cents, so I guess it makes sense why they made a sequel to your fake BS!

A true magician never reveals his tricks
But that accent needs more than magic

I’m known all around the world for my brilliance in escaping
So you know they’re no comparison when you can’t even escape a teen!

Strange:


Your greedy ass didn't stop, when you nearly died?
You can hang upside down? I can literally control time!

I’m on the big screen, so get back to your stage 
Misleading the audience with all your ads on pages!
Stop with the public nudity, and they call me strange?
Let's hope the ropes are as stiff as your vocal range!


Can you keep your 2 sweeties well with your hat and wand?
Nowadays, you would be a bigger side-show than Wong!

Tell me I’m wrong, now I’m no psychic, 
But I know that in this battle, you’ll be losing

You’re crazy if you think you’ll win, c’mon!
should’ve kept that straight jacket on!
I saved the universe, you escaped a box 
You won’t be able to escape this paradox


Escaped the belly of a whale? I thought you loved your mom! 
Shut up, like Copperfield with your vintage stuff

You’re a weakling, that’s something  you need to confront 
I can take you down with a single punch 



Houdini
I can swallow needles, be buried alive, and withstood all of that strain
But listening to you for more than 20 seconds brings me the most pain! (presto)

In this fight you're getting schooled, call me the ancient one, 
but even the great Houdini could help this simpleton!
I'm the true master, stop with your fake witchery,
Haven't seen a fool this fake since, Thurston!

Even with the time stone, you can't take back these bars
'Cause, when you're beaten’ you'll see more than this star!

Ladies, and gentlemen, watch as I do this next trick!, 
Abracadabra! He literally meets his Doom, and that's it!


Strange 

I put the MC in the MCU, you don’t trick me, everyone can see you!
I wish to unsee you, take that eyeliner off you, or you’ll be hanging, upright, gonna off you!
Step away, you know what happened the last time you did not take a doctor's advice!
It’s safe to say, a single kids puny punch will do more than suffice 

I saved galaxies, assembled the avengers 
Stick to copying, i was trained by a great mentor
And all that hard work brought me here today  
To fight a dude who can’t come up with his own name?

Another one bites the dust today 
Hear was this wise guy’s got to say
This will be the one and only time you lose
Cuz use for the first time, this trick isn’t staged.

Harry Houdini vs. Doctor Strange- Rap Battles! (ft. Alex M)

easter egg that crashes your game when it pops up vs. an easter egg game that pops up after crashes.

BDGR as Shadow Bonnie

CheeseVA as Chrome Dino
https://youtube.com/channel/UC62C-3aRrQv6OPKBPpc8dWA
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_j__VMQ5dCCMsXFBFYh1iA

Shadow Bonnie (0:24)
Outta the shadows, comes a special delivery of straight bars.
I’m an expert with firing shots, this rabbit’s a major threat in AR.
So, like in my game, I’ll stop your running after this interception.
Because all it takes to stop you is decent internet connection.
This restless soul’s relentless. Still want to go Mano e Mano, Chrome?
Face it, can’t call me basic, I've got a face, you’re just monochrome.
This rabbit’s flows go rabbid when rappin’ on the track.
and while I’m at it, no one will listen to your dry desert raps.
so, by the time that fossilized wreck of a mess you call a game ends,
The other dinos could have gone extinct again.
Getting overshadowed by this Easter egg but, you’re used to it.
Cause this Dino will die, no question. Couldn't say my name with Google, bitch

Chrome Dino (0:59)
That verse crashed and burned. Thank God it’s my turn now.
Since that shadow should’ve had no say in this bout,
When I’ll be running this track like I’m running on my feet.
All the while, you halt in the corner, appearing on loading screens
And I’m known for jumping cacti, this prick gets out shined by flashlights
So, thinking you could battle me? Pal, you’re not that guy
Wanna call me basic? Please, at least I consist of creativity. 
You just changed up classic models, like how you stole from Chuck E Cheese!

Shadow Bonnie (1:22)
I know I’m translucent, but your lines are more see-through than me.
Avoiding pterodactyls? Obviously you’re not fly on a beat
Living in the shadow of this Shadow. A colorless void bringing fear to all
Just a nuisance with no use your a pop up wanting to brawl

Chrome Dino (1:33)
Wanna spring back up? First I advise you shut your trap
Since you had a few bars but I don’t think I ever fucking asked!
And your shit standing staring shtick does nothing but leave me bored
Your name would be the same if my cat shat on the keyboard
Black and White! just a cameo left in the background
Cast aside! Rose to the top for one game and went back down
That aint right! You’re just the prime example of horror bore
Final night! Won’t need to lookup an answer to leave this foe 404’ed

Beat Produced by ERMASHOV
Written by BDGR and Cri
Additional Writing Help from CheeseVA, Awesome Ayden, and King ducky
Flow Tested by Lil Weener 
Art by Samuel Grasman
Mixed by Trakked
https://www.youtube.com/c/TrakkedRapCypher 
https://soundcloud.com/user-995901394

Filler Rap Battle - Shadow Bonnie vs. Chrome Dino

Among us:
There’s one impostor among us,
Bet you can tell which is the most sus,
Butters the only thing that knife can cut,
After this you’ll need a better cover up
So I’ll shut you up, and vote you out
As soon as I convince the others
I’ll sabotage, cut the lights out
Go spam E, you will never recover!
The people that still care are reddit guys!
They’re moneys what’s keeping you alive
That's what’s making your game barley survive
They waste their cash with the taunts and hats
Trading for things, millions can't buy that!
The Among us is on the spotlight
Even If just in the memes, right?
You fell, like fall guys!

Spy:
Tip toe-ing around the map, casually leaving men in white chalk
I’ve been on top of the market for 14 years
two months and your game was sent out the airlock!
We have a lot in common,but I didn’t know your game fame also disappeared!
You were on top thinkin, you were invincible
But like my cloak, your popularity invisible
My games perfect, practically un diss-able
At least when I fight bots, it’s on purpose, yo!
What you diss is not even true
You're a copycat, your The Thing 2
Beating you with the a stunning suit
Check behind at all times I’ll be watching you

Amogus as spy:
Actually I stand no chance against the incredible impostor!
(Shapeshifts into amogus)
After all, no one knows I exist, left even by your mother!

Spy as among us crewmate:
Guys, I don’t know about you but his rapping kinda sus, guys
(Transforms into spy)
We best vote him out, nobody plays the games above the age of five!

Amogus:
EMERGENCY MEETING!
YA RAPS ARE LIKE YOUR GRAPHICS, OUTDATED ALOT!
GAMES FLOODED WITH CHEATING!
YOU'RE ONE TO TALK ABOUT BOTS, INSTANT SNIPER HEADSHOTS!

Spy:
AT LEAST MY GAME WAS LEFT ALONE, YOUR HAS BEEN UPDATED TO DEATH!
NOW ALL YOUR ORIGINAL  FANS HAVE LEFT YOU IT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST
AND THE ONLY THING POPULAR IS JERMA CUZ OF YOUR MEMES
WHILE I'M FREE, FREE TO KICK YOUR BUTT ON STEAM!

AMOGUS:
UH, GUYS THERE'S A CRAP RAPPER AMONG US
YOU'RE NEXT UPDATE WILL COME IN 10 YEARS NO LESS
I GOT THE HOLY WATER FLOWS, I PUT THE SUS IN JESUS
YOU KNOW I'LL WIN THE VOTE, WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS!

The Spy vs. Amogus- Rap Battles!

Boris Johnson vs Penguin DEMO

Hatsune Miku - Azia
Rythmbot - Stark Media
Beat by Anywaywell
Written by JustGamer and YLFEthan
Additional Help by Sculpture, HHH3 and Adam
Art by TreToonz
Cover Art by Rabi
Mixed and Mastered by GlitchDude

Hatsune Miku Verse 1:
Hi, it's Miku, adding to my list of chart topping hits!
Not an option, slash this bot properly, high quality rip 
So compressed, this programming mess can’t be audibly fixed
Time for you to sound-byte the dust cause this bot will be kicked
*discord leave noise* Drop it! 
I move the teens don’t let their moods drop
Glued to screens with these sweet moves brah
You’re hollow man, I’m a hologram so call me Miku-pac!
The first sound from the future will leave you in the past where you peaked
Had so many cracks in your software, and I thought I got the leeks!
I treasure songs while you just take them~
Logo’s an R, a pirate’s who I’m facing~
Sponsorships sunk when YouTube stopped the donations~
It makes sense that Rythm will once again end with HM~

Rythm Verse 1:
This bot is gonna turn it up by a few Notches 
When like disappearance day, Minecraft’s maker gets blocked again!
Living in uncanny valley, this lifeless chick will be murdered 
Cause against school girl Siri, I won’t hesitate to serve her! 
From covers to your brother, others always made you famous 
Now your only cover’s the blackface in your racist animations!
So screw you Miku, I'll treat you like any idle and leave you!
Cause bearing this hologram is something I can't see through!

Hatsune Miku Verse 2:
When I’m on a stage, I got a crowd of fans that get things hyped up
The only platform that you've been on, you got yourself wiped off!
Died and went up to the sound clouds, singing the same tune forever 
Barely scraping by like you’re one of my broken records!
Plus you couldn’t even land in a “Discord” Rap Battle to start
Began with exclamations, now your name’s followed by question marks!

Rythm Verse 2:
It’s clear that you can’t match up to my synthe-size, bitch!
And tell me how does an AI go and have a midlife crisis? (OOH!)
Wanna boast about your fans? That makes sense to me.
Since they’re the ones who got you off of the NFTs! 
You're exploited, promoted as soulless and wholly void
Even Domino’s noticed and forced you to be their Voca-Noid!
I've had it with you, your fans were blown all off
By that high pitch you hit, finally acquired a loss
It’s time to face the music, punk I'm at my limit 
A role reversal by name, cause Miku couldn't play to the Rythm!

Hatsune Miku Vs Rythmbot - Discount Rap Battles

Video Release => https://youtu.be/cWihbHRDHOk 

King Can Prod as Xurkitree
Swoldow as Ennard
JesseBoxVO as Circus Baby
Snakebite126 as ???

Prod. by Ihaksi
Mixed by King Can Prod
Coverart by SPM1000

Xurkitree (0:15)
Why don’t you save your breath if you intend to play pretend
I wouldn’t take the chance or you’ll submerge in flames again
You’ll need a change of plans if you wanna beat Xurkitree
But fake endings are all I’ll get from wannabe irky beasts
You just kept lurking deep like nerdy geeks unearthing leads
‘Cuz you preferred to sneak from third degree, with urgency
Observe this certain breed that’s preserving its circuit streak
All so his perky team could hurry flee the circus scene?
When I start sparks, this hybrid’s a goner - when you got bossed, you diced up the roster,
Giving rise to a monster in the same recycled model
So now you’re left ineffective, time I wreck this Eggs Benedict
Who’s relentlessly neglected like Immortal and The Restless

Circus Baby (0:54)
I don’t recognize you, you must be new
To both the facility and duelling in a feud
You blew it like your fuse since you could barely shock me   
But don’t worry, there’s plenty of room left for you in

Ennard (1:06)
EVERY BODY!
It’s far from the end of us, not looking for vengeance but
It’s quite obvious chances are that you stepped up ‘gainst Mandela
So just kindly surrender once I’m leaving you dropped like enema
You’re not any better ‘cuz this powered plant’s more frail than Tangela
Reducing you to bits like I was Type: Null
Won’t waste time, I’ll end the survival of one who’s more hollow than mild souls 
You’re empty like, ”do you even have any vitals?”
You went from sweeping through teams easily with Beast Boost
Now banned from UnderUsed?

Circus Baby (1:31)
You don’t know what we’ve been through

Xurkitree (1:33)
That shabby verse can’t excuse the countless tricks played
From one who’s more broken up than the tales depicting the StitchWraith
‘Cuz these days you're hauled off, rotting away in that old box 
I’ll leave you diss-couraged when I’m hitting this beat like controlled shocks
Your dismantled crew abandoned you, mangled tools meant to scare the youth 
It’s apparent too that I’m used to beating clowns lacking a head or two
Leave a raw design locked up tight in the bottom hive of Cawthon’s mind
So ditch this occasion like Sister Location, and drop the Mike

Ennard (1:58)
Why didn’t you trust me? Don’t you believe me?
I guess it’s true that looks have always been deceiving
There’s no room for improvement, this inflated tubeman is useless
So I like to see you try to make a move when you’re scooped in
How could you claim that this would come down to the wire?
Seeing Tail Glow couldn’t help make anything sound any brighter
So with the end drawing near, it’s time I pull your plug
To put an end to you for good

Circus Baby (2:22)
Just don’t hold it against us

Xurkitree vs Ennard. P/A Rap Battle!

The demo track I recorded for Blitzo vs Pico
Dated January 2022

Blitzo vs Pico - Eddie's Demo

This is a sequel to the rap battle I uploaded a while back, the second in the Epic Rap Battles of White Station series.

Clinton vs Walter - Epic Rap Battles of White Station #2

#HipHop
#TrapMusic
#Rap
#TrapBeats
#HipHopCulture
#NewMusic
#SoundCloudRap
#UndergroundRap
#EastCoastHipHop
#LilBaby
#SoundCloudArtist
#RapBeats
#IndependentArtist
#TrapNation
#HipHopHeads
#MumbleRap
#StreetMusic
#RealTrap
#NewRap
#RapCaviar

US Rap Hip Hop 2025 – American Trap Beat Mix #4144

Welcome to the series premiere of Objects vs Anything! In this fearsome battle, we have the first president of the United States, George Washington, engaging in lyrical combat against a washing machine. Who will win? Listen to find out!

OBJECTS VS ANYTHING
GEORGE WASHINGTON
VS
WASHING MACHINE
YEP.

George Washington:
This reads not like a battle, more a chore of a weekly visit
When all you’re good for’s washing the red I left on the coats of the British
Want something that’ll make your head enter a spin cycle? Well here, peasant 
You could never revolve without the revolution I spearheaded
I fought for my Rights, got my face on the Bill
Fall to my might, you’ll be leaking yourself
Step to me, your insides get chopped
You’ll be left like a child using you as a hiding spot 
I may have died but look at how I croaked
We all know I’m ill when I rap from my throat
This battle shall read like my inauguration, I’m winning this bitch by unanimous vote

Washing Machine:
Come at me, George? You’ll sustain damage of sorts you can’t afford
Because with skill, you’re more starved than your fellow soldiers in Valley Forge
But all I need is to take one glance at your dirty laundry, son
You’re only good at racial cleansing, call you white-Washington
(Oh!) Big wigs ain’t scaring me
This dude’s been a hack since the cherry tree
This flow, you shouldn’t be crossing, kid
You’ll get whipped like you’re building your monument
While you were out in the war, such a bad leader even the French made you tap out
Ask Martha if you were the only Washington with wood in your mouth
I’m a washing machine and I come in so clean, you’ll bobbing to me cause my bars are so heat
This old Washington freak may have got a DC but on top of this beat, he ain’t fathering me
Bro you used to be known as America’s savior, now scandals cause vandals to spark your erasure 
Now your only history left that remains are the dollars that people come to me to pay with

George Washington:
Oh please, the rope in my lawn is more effective with lines, sir 
I’d call this battle a wash, but your style couldn’t be dryer
People get mad at you when you make a sock lose its place?
Let’s see how mad you get once I leave you socked in the face
I kept the states United in a time of crisis
You’re a wrinkle getting crushed by a fist of iron
First damn president to set foot into office
Meanwhile, it’s a given, your rap noise: obnoxious
Once I’ve left this dysfunctional apparatus burned with rhymes
It won’t take any suicidal web challenge for me to turn the Tides

Washing Machine:
Were too pussy to take sides in any of the Father’s tons of feuds
God damn, even George Washington Carver has more nuts than you!
Call you washed up ‘cause your fame will drown
Threw out the king, so how can you take the crown
Rather alone than in bad company? Hardly
You couldn’t get invited to a political party
No treaty’s enough to defeat me, so now let’s see what your eulogy’s going to read
First in war, first in peace, and first to be cleaned up by the flow machine

WHAT WON?
WHAT’S NEXT?
I’LL PROBABLY DECIDE THE NEXT MATCHUP BUT IF I LIKE YOURS IT’LL BE DONE AND YOU DECIDE THE WINNER!
OBJECTS VS ANYTHING

Snakebite126 as George Washington
Freshy Kanal as Washing Machine
Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Child Hiding Spot line written by GamingPlush64
Written by Snakebite126 and Commander Jacob
Additional writing help from Eddiefrb
Beat by Hala-X

That about covers it. I have some ideas cooking up for the next installments, but feel free to suggest your own ideas and if they're good, I'll do them! Smell you later, alligator. ;)

George Washington vs Washing Machine - Objects vs Anything [SERIES PREMIERE]

After a long hiatus, Snakebite126 Rap Battles of Inside Things finally gets a name change because what a fucking stupid name that is. It also comes back with a battle of epic proportions between the mystical writer, The Rap Battle Fairy, and the fecal thief, The Shit Goblin, in a battle of the FRB cryptids.

Cast:
The Rap Battle Fairy as themselves
The Shit Goblin as themselves
Mixing and Mastering - Freshy Kanal
Beat produced by Anywaywell

Lyrics:
The Rap Battle Fairy:
Looks like it’s time for me to once again take flight
As all of FRB dozes off in their dreams 
This mystical entity appears in the night
To write a verse against the one who put them all to sleep (Let’s go)
It’s the Rap Battle Fairy coming out the gate
‘Gainst a crack addict bearing tons of pounds in weight
Oh, with just a swish of the wand
I got the power to make any verse bippity bop
And while you’re screaming at your victims to start hitting the quan 
Man, your trials are just errors and I’m leaving ‘em plunged 
And is the fact that you work a job at Walmart a shock?
‘Cause from your traps and voice tapes, you’re just a bargain bin Saw

The Shit Goblin:
Fucking dies 
Now I may not be the Jizz Demon, but please start retreating or you’re really gonna get fucked
I’ll let my voice go louder, kid you don’t-don’t matter, better hope your bladder doesn’t go and splatter
‘Cause from all the living creatures that this pro’s encountered, you’re the only one I won’t be taking shit from
Bitch, what? The Shit Goblin’s hip-hoppin’ 
You’re in deep shit once I kick off, this pimp’s poppin’
You hear the night’s calling and it prompts your arrival
But my speeches will leave you dipping this call like my disciples 
You got your grand start from Pyro vs Memeulous
And yet the best verse was the only one that Felix did
You only make rounds when you have to make up a diss
But I’m more than used to fairies taking the piss

The Rap Battle Fairy:
The Piss Fairy, huh? Well those jokes were piss poor (Yeah)
When I’m taking number one, it’s the Best Writer awards
Plus I’m honestly surprised that you’d think I’d be that threatened
By Danganronpa with a scat fetish (Whoo!)
I’m so fly, your insanity’s boundless
Call Rosie to leave her son reality grounded
Poor stranger, I’m leaving you wrecked with my magic raps 
Cause a flanger is the only effect that your rapping has
As we’re battling, once you see how hard my pen game hits
This’ll be like your third trial tape, you’ll never make it
My bars get songs on playlists, so far I gotta say this
If you’re trying to make movements on the mic, I guess you’re constipated

The Shit Goblin:
Wanna beat me, bro? You need to start over
I’ve seen more appealing flow come from the Barf Ogre
You got left like my minions, stuck, enslaved and
Now you can’t escape the chains of Dustin’s basement
Yeah, I got homies in FRB that’ll clip your wings
I’m a rapper, I’m a rebel, yo it’s Shitty G
Once you’re with hit with bars so heavy like plip-plop
It’s fitting a piece of shit like yourself gets dropped
I’m a stone cold killer and I’m so conniving
You ain’t no dope winner but you’re so bold trying
The immortal, living since before your time
Whose getting sold your spirit, bitch your soul’s all mine
And the minute that you started getting deadlines
Half the scripts you rushed all ended up with dead lines
So don’t challenge me with your lame flows
This battle’s like all your other commitments - shoulda learned to say “no”

Anyways I'm leaving the community now because I am never topping this.

Montresor vs Jevil. Snakebite Rap Battles

Snakebite126

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