Smashing Butts

Wrote this one bloody ages ago, but it made its proper Anvil debut at E3 2023 during the Virtue's Roar performance. The recording lacks a certain something compared to the live performance (such as another 15 bards all playing along).

This is another one that started off as an idea for a filk that I couldn't actually make work, but i liked some of the lyrics i had and so I just rewrote the music around it. 

The sharp eyed/eared may hear the ghost of the original inspiration in the lyrics of the second verse, especially if they are of a musical theatre persuasion. ;) 

My thanks to Emma for providing the epic backing vocals for this one (and for the gift of the portable studio device it was recorded on).

I still suspect that the scream at the end is too much, but it continues to make me smile and so I'll continue doing it in the field whenever I have the voice to belt it out. 

FUN FACT: The final vocals for this were recorded in my car after I drove to the middle of a building site with my porta-studio as I was too self conscious to the shouty-screamy vocals at home where the entire neighbourhood would hear.

What We Came For

Opening trailer song to introduce new players to the Ancient Fantasy setting of Deveros and the Aldarin Empire as part of the TTRPG made by Vynestra.

Joyed to be part of the project and make some music to accompany a world with such rich flavour and amazing artwork!

For Deveros!

A track for bold and brave new beginnings or the preamble of a big adventure leading to something you may not have experienced before.

Into The Green Beyond

Big Ole Boy is a state of mind - it's hard growing up...

LYRICS

When I was young I was stubborn and brave,
I dreamed to be big and be strong.
The call of adventure strong in my veins,
Even if I was too young.

But my mother she sat and she told me,
This world is much bigger than you.
I said to my mother, I'm set in my ways,
And one day she will see the truth.

I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy,
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy!

So I grew up and went out on the road
To make of the world what I may.
I'll drink and I'll fight and I'll reach for the heights,
That a man of my stature can make.

But my mother would always remind me,
That life comes with burdens to bear,
But I will be strong with a will to go on,
So I turn to my mother and say:

I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy,
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy!

Now that I'm old I've a place of my own,
And my youth it seems so far away.
I still hear the things my mother would say,
Even though she's long passed away.

Now I know now of life's obligations,
And I feel the burden of proof,
As time marches on I'll try to be strong,
And right all the wrongs of my youth.

Because...
I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy,
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy
Oh yes I'll be a big ole
A big ole boy!

Journey On

Big Ole Boy

A song for star-crossed lovers, will-they wont-theys and passing ships in the night.

LYRICS

I met with a cambion
Was she Marcher or a Freeborn?
I don't know.

She looked in disguise,
But still her eyes invited me,
To see her show.

She told me she was leaving then she'd gone
If don't find the words to say then I would sing this song:

Come my love let's away together,
Dance all night for the world to see,
Tip our tankards in every bar,
So come, come and run away with me!

We'll up Highguard, down to Wintermark,
Then hit Navarr where the drink's on me
Take my hand 'cause the night's not over,
Come, come and run away with me!

I asked her "what's your poison?"
She said "Something with a taste you can't ignore"

I asked her what's her fancy
She said "Something that'll leave me wanting more"

She told she me was leaving then she'd gone
If I don't tell her how I feel, I'll never live this down.

Come my love let's away together,
Dance all night for the world to see,
Tip our tankards in every bar,
So come, come and run away with me!

We'll up Highguard, down to Wintermark,
Then hit Navarr where the drink's on me
Take my hand 'cause the night's not over,
Come, come and run away with me!

I'll never live this down...

Come my love let's away together,
Dance all night for the world to see,
Tip our tankards in every bar,
So come, come and run away with me!

We'll up Highguard, down to Wintermark
Then hit Navarr where the drink's on me
Take my hand 'cause the night's not over,
Come, come and run away with me!

Come And Run Away With Me

LYRICS

Some may say that the throne makes us one
Does it feel unfair when it's all said and done?

One points a finger and ten points them back,
From nation to nation, it's all tit-fot-tat,
Til we stand and say,
It's just words,
Just a curse between lovers and friends.

Just a curse between lovers and friends,
Just a curse between lovers and friends,
We may fight but there's love at the end,
What's a curse between lovers and friends?

Some may say it's a curse you deserve,
We can disagree, we can hate, we can love,
You can still fight me but I will forgive,
I will bear any brand that your coven can give,
And I'll stand and say,
It's just words,
Just a curse between lovers and friends.

What's a curse between lovers and friends?
What's a curse between lovers and friends?
We may fight but there's love at the end,
What's a curse between lovers and friends?

Some may say that you'll fall through the cracks,
Just a curse we made that we cannot take back,
Take a deep breath for ambition and pride,
I'll take every curse in the peak of my stride,
And I'll stand and say:
It's just words,
Just a curse between lovers and friends.

What's a curse between lovers and friends?
What's a curse between lovers and friends?
We may fight but there's love at the end,
What's a curse between lovers and friends?

A Curse Between Lovers & Friends

A song for new experiences, encouraging those who may be anxious or uncertain that they should keep going forward because the road ahead has plenty of wild and wonderful experiences.

LYRICS

I am the wanderer wandering free,
I have no land and nobody but me,
But the voice in my head tells me what I could be:
"Journey on!", I will not go home.

I am the Marcher that's planting the seed,
I am the bard drinking cider and mead,
Who has sang in Navarr and then danced in the League,
Journey on, I will not go home.

Journey on, Journey on,
Journey on, I will not go home.
Journey on, Journey on,
Journey on, I will not go home.

I met the freeborn with gifts from the sea,
I met Varushkans who wandered with me,
Mine is the road but the road is my keep,
Journey on, I will not go home.

I've been to Dawn where I sang for a feast,
I've been to Highguard to pray and to plead,
For the curse of the wanderer who plays for his fee,
Journey on, I will not go home.

Journey on, Journey on,
Journey on, I will not go home.
Journey on, Journey on,
Journey on, I will not go home.

I could be Emperor speaking my creed,
Come from a vagabond nervous as me,
And the voice in my head says I have to believe:
"Journey on!" I will not go home,
Journey on, I will not go home.

A cautionary tale of how things can end for those who stray from the path of old traditions and respect for their countrymen.

LYRICS

Comes the crooked tale,
Of a marcher lost their way again.
Sold away their land,
For the shadow of some personal gain.
Now the crop’s been low,
And the nation falls to strife.

But they know they can make right again,
When the Wickerman’s in flames.
They can burn and they’ll make right again,
In the Wickerman’s embrace.

So the marcher can,
Make amends for all the sin they’ve done.
So the marcher can,
Take the burden for the ones they love.
Oh the crop’s been low?
And tradition has been spurned?

But the Marcher can make right again,
When the Wickerman’s in flames.
They can burn and they’ll make right again,
When they die in flames!

Burn to the ash and the blackened bone.
Pray that the virtues save your soul, and
Only the good and the brave can go
To the Wickerman’s embrace.
Burn to the ash and the blackened bone.
Pray that the virtues save your soul, well
Only the good and the brave can,
Die in flames!
And we die in flames!
But the Wickerman remains.
Oh Ho!

I’ve come to tell you,
That there’s no place to run and-

Hide from all your sins,
And the weight of the mistakes you've made.
Things that can’t be cleansed;
No apology can make amends.
Now the crop’s been low,
And the nation’s life is struggling.

You’ll be glad you can make right again,
When the Wickerman’s in flames.
You can burn and you’ll make right again,
In the Wickerman’s embrace.

For the Marcher land,
You can make a noble sacrifice.
In the burning man,
For the nation you can still do right.
So the crop’s been low?
From the ashes we do grow!

For the Marcher can make right again,
In the Wickerman’s embrace.
They can burn and they’ll make right again,
If they die in flames!

Burn to the ash and the blackened bone.
Pray that the virtues save your soul, and
Only the good and the brave can go,
To the Wickerman’s embrace.
Burn to the ash and the blackened bone.
Pray that the virtues save your soul, well
Only the good and the brave can,
Die in flames!
And we die in flames!
But the Wickerman remains.
Oh Ho!

I’ve come to tell you
That there’s no place to run and hide
I’ve come to cleanse you
I’ve come to make the sacrifice
In the light, we’ll dance and we’ll be cleansed
Now strip yourself to skin and bone
And carry off our sins. I say!

Burn to the ash and the blackened bone.
Pray that the virtues save your soul.

Burn to the ash and the blackened bone.
Pray that the virtues save your soul, and
Only the good and the brave can go,
To the Wickerman’s embrace.
Burn to the ash and the blackened bone.
Pray that the virtues save your soul, well
Only the good and the brave can,
Die in flames!
And we die in flames!
But the Wickerman remains.
Oh Ho!

The Wickerman

A song to commemorate the end of a special story in the world of Empire LRP. To all those who were part of it, lived (and died) it - it was a blast.

LYRICS

Gather round dear listener for a tale of blood and steel,
Of the ones who went to Tromsa and to the Jotun battlefield,
Where the block they call the Bannermen had a mission in their sights,
To take Mathilde Fisher's flag and end the Bregas fight!

Well Amberlain and Guildenstern stepped forward to parley,
They met the Jarl of Tromsa and the terms of war were made,
Black Vigil and the Hartell had formed a fighting line,
To take Mathilde Fisher's flag and end her grand design!

Right now I'm finishing the fight,
Charging with the bannermen the end is in my sight,
Hartells to my left and all the Vigil on my right,
Weep Mathilde Fisher 'cause it's time to say goodnight.

We've come to take your banner,
We've come to take your flag,
The block they call the Bannermen,
Has come to take your flag,
We marched right into Tromsa to put you in a bag!
Where the Fishers cried and the Jotun died,
To the lantern and the stag.

Well the Fishers pined to the Jotun line to fortify the gate,
General Amberlain's got a patient game and she told us all to wait,
We heard the cry "Mass Weakness" and the Fishers dropped and fled,
Get an apple down your gullet son 'cause you're gonna wind up dead.

While the Bannermen pushed forward and toward the Jotun shields,
They saw Mathilde's banner flying over Jotun steel,
The captains made the kill command and we brought the rogues to heel,
The priest of courage grabbed the flag and sprinted through the field.

Right now I'm finishing the fight,
Charging with the bannermen the end is in my sight,
Hartells to my left and all the Vigil on my right,
Weep Mathilde Fisher 'cause it's time to say goodnight.

We've come to take your banner,
We've come to take your flag,
The block they call the Bannermen,
Has come to take your flag,
We marched right into Tromsa to put you in a bag!
Where the Fishers cried and the Jotun died,
To the lantern and the stag.

The Fishers' chants fell silent,
Mathilde's claim was dead,
We got revenge for Bregasland,
And put her dream to bed.
What's left of 'Tilde Fisher?
A rotten bloody flag,
Passed between the drunkards of the Blind Eye and Black Rat!

Oh! We came and took your banner now,
We came and took your flag,
We came and took your banner now,
We came and took your flag,
Woah ho! There goes the "Queen of Bregasland",
Pay the tithe and say goodbye,
Your field has now been dragged.

The Bannermen

A track to commemorate the deeds of a nation unsung in its altruism and loyalty: the Imperial Orcs - so may their nation sing this song to remind their neighbours, allies and foes that they are always a force to be reckoned with.

LYRICS

Ancestors, oh hear my deeds,
This is what the orcs have done for thee,
Died in Zenith to provide retreat,
First into the fray and the last to leave,
Give our weight in resource and steel,
Ball of death on the battlefield,
Loyal to the throne as a promise made
Loyalty’s a chain that an orc can’t break

When the singing caves were tamed,
All of the resources the Marches claimed,
“Share the wealth” said those in Dawn,
Arguing until the point of civil war,
Then the orcs said “fight no more”,
We will share the wealth of the brilliant shore,
So the Empire gets resource,
Price been paid by Imperial Orcs

We’re the loyal steel of the Empire’s stone
And we’ll break the bones of the Empire’s foes
Died in war to protect the throne,
So we earn our place in the Empire’s home
Nations fight over land and greed
We will give our wealth for the Empire’s peace
Blood unbroken in loyalty
This what the orcs have done for thee

Empire nations hear my deeds:
This is what the orcs have done for thee!
Mustered armies, mustered fleets,
Saved poor souls from the Feroz sea,
Freeborn who were trapped ashore,
Told by orcs they could come aboard,
Circumventing the Grendel threat,
Saved by orcs from the Grendel net!

Once we struck a pale orc down,
Looted back a treasured crown.
Though the treasure earned was ours,
We gave it back to Wintermark,
When the time came to repay,
We turned and looked the other way,
But the Markers’ won’t say no,
So they gifted Skarsind as our home!

We’re the loyal steel of the Empire’s stone
And we’ll break the bones of the Empire’s foes
Died in war to protect the throne,
So we earn our place in the Empire’s home
Nations fight over land and greed
We will give our wealth for the Empire’s peace
Blood unbroken in loyalty
This what the orcs have done for thee

Ancestors, oh hear our call!
We are orcs Imperial!
Few in number we stand tall,
Fighting for the nations we call home.
First in, last out is our creed
Charging to the front for loyalty.
Stoic in our deeds are we,
This is what the orcs have done for thee!

We’re the loyal steel of the Empire’s stone
And we’ll break the bones of the Empire’s foes
Died in war to protect the throne,
So we earn our place in the Empire’s home
Nations fight over land and greed
We will give our wealth for the Empire’s peace
Blood unbroken in loyalty
This what the orcs have done for thee

Ancestors, oh hear our call!
We are orcs Imperial!

Heroes Of Might And Magic 4 - Combat Theme III

SneakyMarkov

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