grizzly

maes interlude

project one rough

when you wake up thinking you're frank ocean nd sampha but illness says a firm nah

ill voice breaks + failure to enunciate = ?

the sun didn’t shine on the days of early jan and i’ve just played my hand
and 
rumi beat at me rummy and i don’t know if i’l ever find love,
barriers undiscovered but been deep enough to not need glove and she smiles up above and i fucking hate olives so no need for doves,
but
still tryna branch out,
and if humans came from africa then why the fuck is noah still a white man,
is that a part gods plan,
i the damned man that ran away from gods right hand 
now 
shrugging next to atlas like i’m ayn damn rand,
but still ain’t found nirvana or anything close or rather imma 
certified mess,
big lips wide grin stiil the boy be depressed
learnt to laugh off shadows but darkness still follow me,
and unapologetically remind thee that reckoning still waits til ya hit that early grave,
and ya know ur still a slave to the whims that ya crave, 
you’ll be always a wannabe even in that wantanabe,
bitch

early jan

male black citizen,
dont that make me a war crime
cos the fucking drugs
the white kids be scared of thugs
yet they dress like them cos they wanna be us
fuck that shit he said nonplussed
times have changed and a race is just a construct
for building walls  cos it ain’t freeing us
i raised my hand indignantly to those who passed 
names be forgotten but the spirit still reside in me 
i feel the heart beat of forgotten nations speak from the pridelands of a home i might never see 
a whole history got taken away from me in slave ships to plantations see
i believe the struggle and the pain still speak 
with the jazz on repeat 
davis, bechet and coltrane smile at me 
i pictured reality 
a look a like basquiat so no surprise that the kid paint it differently
grew in a world were i see colour vividly cos the lack thereof meant few black kids ever stood beside me

so those melodies important,
i sailed little wings of a lead guitarist,
i dreamt of turiya with a beautiful harpist,
i,
learnt that water get no enemy and freed myself of colonial mentality
but these mob convictions strengthened bad intentions, home restrictions meant mad adventures
and i lost myself
and i lost myself

home blues, or w466

mr66 (ft frank ocean, kohh)

cowboy bebop

last night i dreamed lady luck spoke to me 
eyes burned fire as her ire took a hold of me 
crimson dress splayed in winds from the west
wandering eyes put modesty to test

i'm a piece of shit,
i know it
depressed motherfucker moonlighting as a poet 
thats 
showbiz i guess
stressed, pressed by impaitience
too damn stubborn to be an in patient and the voices never vacant

death sits at my shoulder,
fast train tracks the altar saying
take a knee
bow head quick at the feet of her majesty
and find me,
like feynman
realigning time so i travel back to see future minds 
and mines set,
still dreaming about suicidal sheep
wondering if this new job can ever pay the fees for the cruise down to hades
and if these chats with death make me less crazy

and shit

bared soul as the feet walk coals and the feels don’t go
but it feels like i’ve stopped running,
death chasing but i still his touch coming
and the throughbred aint left
redressed the points made in his last text
that its just a pretense for past vents and future kept secret like the best
so safari park the setting
war in the brain so get got or getting getting

dog eat dog world
my fists curled as sanity lays strewn unfurled as i hurled my soul on the
cold hard pavement 
funny how black now seems to be a statement
shame these white boys don’t know what it came with
anxiety creeps in quickly as the shame did,
just in case the clothes ain’t clean,
mum told me don’t be like those guys on tv
but who the fuck else did i see
'part from historians, professors, 
discovery, nat geo, used to sweat time team,
used to be happy
now sadness ain’t a worry it’s a habit,
but comedy rises from tragic,
aristophanes the way i get thespians heckling
hyde from myself to not let fucking jeykll in
still smoking devlish but not as much
so started giving more fucks
hash in rotation is the only way the highs come
cos otherwise the mind numb to the beauty of the green, 
plants bloomed under violent blues of summer brought me back to 
reality

sockless adventurer

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