im in my bag of excuses for bad decisions i made  
bad actions stemming from trauma that doesnt justificate  
i look around and see all of this destruction and decay 
but i think the only difference is i didnt see what was right in my face 
at some point you have to face it
used to think fixing my problems was caving
i used to think that my problems were what made me special and that shit is dangerous
and i used to think that if i got better my art would suffer as a trade and
it got to the point where i thought that my mental well being aint even worth saving 
but honestly i was mistaken 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem 

i was a victim of temptation and my own temperament
i get too passionate i come off batshit and 
im just a magnet for tragic infatuation 
almost had it but i couldnt capture it 
dont wanna trap it  
dont know whats happenin
but when youre laughing
its great distraction 
i think we might just be moving to fast and 
keep your hands in at all times and belts fastened 
i dont know 
what the fuck i was on 
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem 
and honestly i dont know
what the fuck i was on
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem

my big bag of excuses for this hole I dug myself into

stockholm (prod. sorrow bringer)

rainmaker (prod. sorrow bringer)

110° (prod. nevrfall)

Sunray, the thunderstorm

Wokeupscrmn (with notmorgn)

everyones an asshole 
my plug cuts his coke and my doctor pushes benzos 
my head smacked the floor when i tripped off my board
skating round the halls cause my parents aren't at home
today ive been bored
today i woke up at 4
needed stuff but got too high to drive to the store
at the checkout said "how are you?"
i said "not much"
on my way out i tripped and my thing of eggs crushed

dont be ashamed to be proud of yourself or slow down for a sec 
i say as i quietly critique parts of myself 
i guess i just keep helping so i wont need help
but regardless it helps

can you tell me we're good now?
you left me put down
bad is my good now
when i cry it's a good sound 

(hamilton)
cut it all out
take it all away
i dont wanna feel 
no not today 
numb to the pain numb to it all
hanging by a thread i might fall
i might slip 
lose my grip 
tryna find out where the time went
where it all goes
i dont know
i can only walk the path i chose 
build me up just to break my bones
crushing up drugs on my phone
tryna fix my heart but it got worse
every time i fall in love it hurts
every time i try to not think bout you it dont work
maybe im just meant to be alone with the dirt
but maybe its just meant to be 
i get so high i cant speak
walking round cant feel my feet
when i sleep i grit my teeth
when i sleep youre all i see
so every nights a bad dream 
i dont wanna wake up
just to feel nothing

when i cry it sounds good (with hamilton and sorrow bringer)

i was picking something off the vine 
working with what i got if you get it 
bouncing off the walls im in my mind
i can be too much i admit it  
didnt know what to type when i read it
so into the void i let it 
i dont ever wanna stop trying
i dont care if i dont im gon regret it
i been on my own since a lil kid
havent felt at home since a lil kid
everything i wanted i been living it
why the fuck is none of it fulfilling 
i been tryna chase this feeling
all this time and space that its stealing
my life its like if i let you inside 
know it meant the most that you were in it
i was picking something off the vine 
working what i got if you get it 
bouncing off the walls im in my mind
i can be too much i admit it  
didnt know what to type when i read it
so into the void i let it 
i dont ever wanna stop trying
i dont care if i dont im gon regret 
i been on my own since a lil kid
havent felt at home since a lil kid
everything i wanted i been living it
why the fuck is none of it fulfilling

Grapevine (prod. sorrow bringer)

main loop used is from a killedmyself drumpack

Its a little late for that don't you think?

something about the madela effect cause it was "i burned my hand" not finger..... i dont understand.......

At Night ... aaahh the tidal wave its pulling me away sorry cant go back now lol

Outside like the plants and trees
I'm outside with the steel in links
I'm outside walking by myself
Like there's nobody out for me
Looking in the endless foggy water finding things
Tossed the piece and parts into the cauldron and the steam
It doesn't eat in objects more-so small internal things
Most delicious parts of it are parts you cannot see

I stay up
It's such a late hour when i stay up
Until I hear the birds chirping and I get all depressed
Then I guilt myself about it
Then rush myself to bed
Think I missed you once again
And I heard the callin I just hope that I can find it
In the faint and silent signals of the universe
And i dont wanna act so ignorant and come off callous
So I ask for nothing in return

Outside like the plants and trees
I'm outside with the steel in links
I'm outside walking by myself
Like there's nobody out for me
Looking in the endless foggy water finding things
Tossed the piece and parts into the cauldron and the steam
It doesn't eat in objects more-so small internal things
Most delicious parts of it are parts you cannot see

Yeah, i tripped on myself oh jeez
I hope i know you when im 70
I just get scared when everythings ok
I don't mean to attention seek

it went over me and stuck to my heart like a curse

love song 4 the ghost i see in my room sometimes 

original beat by killedmyself (chopped and pitched)
additional violin by my good friend Mohini 

its not somethin else
its exactly whats the most obvious
its so easy to tell
and im no good at hiding it
its rly not that hard to figure out
the obsessions not mutual 
i know u like me but not as much
i wanna be what you think about
i cant help but fall in one sided love 

and im stuck in it  
i get so dumb in it 
there might be something
to make me feel more whole 
somehow 
your touch that feels like home 
but then u cast me off and i end up more alone
strung up
im just a puppet
u can make me dance 
im happy to perform 
in ur bed
im nestled up and warm
hoping 
the night can last more long 

ive been numbed up i dont feel it 
i dont feel the touch im too hollow
can u help me get more human 
maybe some emotions to borrow 
i think im the worlds best escapist 
back then i just didnt wanna exist
so i buried my head in the sand
look at all the time i wasted

. . . . .

when im in your arms it felt so warm like home

....
I sit still in the tall grass
I breathe in as much as I can hold inside my chest
I trust in the sun to beam and lungs to catch my breath
Sometimes it gets hard for me but I still try my best
I'm stuck in the yard right by the broken water fountain
I just saw somebody in the window of that house
I gathered my courage and walked in to check it out
I went to the master bedroom and I looked around
I saw the closet open slightly towards where I was standing
I think I hear someone inside it and it's very scary
I gather all these skeletons up like a cemetery
I swear I didn't wanna lie but it was necessary
I wake up from a bad dream and I go to start the day
I forget about what exactly, just that there was pain
I act like nothing even happened and I'm all okay
I see a new horrible image and I look away
I'm inside the woods way out 
I'm swinging my head, jack-o'-lantern around
October in this ******** town 
Got big leaves lit, I let the rest fall down
And the pines, only thing that survives
Once this winter arrives
And this cold season start up
... ur only sorta right
You make me mortified
And I don't wanna fight
And I'm still someone's daughter
.
.
Like some bands i count the spirits in this monster house
I ain't slowin down im on the highway to hell 
Fuck my opposition smile like I wish you well
I got information that I won't ever tell
I take up to 2 but any more would put me out
I won't face it now, in the morning put me down
Stuck all by myself-

Don't know how it happened, it's a force in this house
Don't know how I keep a forest in this mason jar
I'm so lucky that I told her meet me in the car
Could've turned out so bad, thank god
4 AM in Boston walking with this magic wand
It's cool, you'd think that i was totally cool
With thinking bout bad things 
I'm thinkin bout bad things 
Unwillingly

monster house - Copy

I've been meeting myself every day
Now I'm seeing all these new shapes
I've been finding all these loose tapes
Building up a whole story to say
Build a little world and escape
We can take our time in a new game
New shape
Filled a little bit out of the outline
I don't have much stuff to say
Woke up in a new place less grey 
With a new face and a new name
Yeah but I'm so not two-faced
Tremor made me feel goosebumps
I've been playing waiting room games

And I still remember how I felt then
It's still in me
If you see something else, well, what does it mean?
I don't need any help anymore
I'm not- not incomplete
Colors are still in me
Happy and interweaved
But you say it 
I don't think that it's much different when I'm not sad
I don't miss it, it's my own bad
I don't miss it, it's my own bad
I don't miss

u sleep in an antique shop
and i keep losing my thoughts staring at the walls
you put one of your records on 
and i thought it was so cool that we get along
it is a really cool record collection
you told me it was pretty expensive 
not to brag or to sound impressive
but just like, it was really extensive

top floor window

sometimes i just walk around the house to move a little

Made a puppet
That paper mache's now cracking
In the ocean
These waves keep pulling me deeper
It's a teacher
It's a book in how both sides open
Waves crashing
I swam down and just said fuck it 
Years are passing
Like a flashes when I get past 'em
In the fountain
I'm sinking but i'm not drowning 
In the mountains
35 miles from where the border is
In the ocean
saw blackness and i swam towards it
In the whirlpool, I move through the endless darkness
In the hourglass, I watch as it turns to nothing
In the pitch black, big waves pull me in by force now
In the vortеx, I fall back out to the surface

03 and the view from the bottom of the ocean

scary games with the lights off

thanks for listening. i didn't just abandon this page, just have other stuff i enjoy a little more right now. but i appreciate everyone on here <3 love u mfs

nothing i can do

caving in (hurt for something)

been trying to not rhyme lately lmk what u think!

madness art by Raid_E

2017

the homie @guccihighwaters

lyrics

(gucci)
I build static
I go crazy
Can't put it out if it doesn't sound amazing
and life's too fast baby hold me till it's over
tell me that you love me maybe once when you're sober
Don't wanna die as a memory
I can't leave without my legacy
Leave love letters lying on my tombstone
death is only physical I'd like to have a new home

Anxiety make my body go numb now
I sleep early withdraw on the comedown 
when I was younger it left me in hunger
but now I'm older 
desire to be under x2

(softheart)
you dont even care like you used to 
you aint even there like you used to be
hard like the usual 
you just give me stares like you're used to me

anxious probably up late
tryna hide my face
tryna bring it back
i was thinking that
life is always moving so fast
before you knew it had passed
doing better still bad

i guess im just scared it wont come
true so i dont think it
i swear its so lonely when its snowing
in new england
thought you called me it was just a 
dream was just a figment
of back when you would hold me 
like the only thing you need is
me 
is me 
is me
hate me you hate me so bad
its over hard to stay sober 
as i get older just grow colder
weed make it okay so i stay stoned
just like a boulder

chorus

anxiety (feat. guccihighwaters)

feature: @guccihighwaters

lyrics:

(softheart)
why would i trust in anything
i dont feel the love it dont mean a thing
feels so good then it really sting
i dont really talk but i really sing 
she got me thinking like
oo she had me
cut me off so bad
leave me messed up in my head
only miss us when were bad
i be in my room smoking loud sitting silent
you should be adressed as your highness
i swear every time we touch just mitus
im just roaming through the ridges of your irus
violence got your eyelids looking violet
promise ill get rid of him ill leave him where i find him
i be with the blinds dimmed hidin
vibin

unimpressed and always bored
it aint here yet so i'll wait for it
im depressed and always stoned
im always stressed i can't control it 
uninterested always alone
fire in my chest and my heart cold
bedroom unkept ash all over my floor
i got kush in my breath merijuana my decor


(gucci)
oh
i’m all alone my phone dead
i got thoughts of the end 
and my eyes sell a forfeit
thoughts of brain matter
stain my mattress
thoughts you drown me
like a baptist

girl im sorry
oh yeah im sorry
im not the one you love
i’d be the one to fuck you 
then ignore you
for a month

girl im sorry
oh yeah im sorry
im not the one you love
i’d be the one to fuck you 
then ignore you
for a month

(softheart)
yeah and im just an outcast 
only fit in with the skyline 
cause im always lighting up
never really gets me numb enough
sorry i wasnt the one you loved

(gucci&softheart)
girl im sorry
oh yeah im sorry
im not the one you love
i’d be the one to fuck you 
then ignore you
for a month

i'm not the one you love (feat. guccihighwaters)

guitar by : @waitingoncisco

lyrics:

i could be fake too
just not how i make do
it's not that i hate you 
well i don't know
hard to be great you know 
it's hard to be grateful
it's hard to be thankful
so i don't show
you know we all hurt it's just life
baby i get lost in the midnight
we all got problems i just admit mine
at night my eyes wont close

if i'm a star i'm burnt out and looking down
just cause she love me right now
don't mean she'll always be around
always stoned and in my house 
don't got nobody i can count on 
just stay tucked off by myself
oh i 
only get in my zone when i get on my own
all alone
she hit me up at all
and i shut off my phone
i go ghost
i swear she got those words you feel in your bones
who would have known
the prettiest face would have the ugliest soul

yeah but im a loverboy what'd you expect from me
i swear pretty girls will be the death of me
step to me i'm in the sky
baby i been hearing lies 
all my fucking life
so i always treat them nice
so when they fuck me over i don't even think twice
i just cut em off i don't even want a slice
imma leave her blocked
wish my heart weren't so soft 
wish you weren't my first fuck
all the shit is so dumb

now i just find safety in how 
these memories start all fading
put a knife inside my back
then ask why i'm so filled with hatred

anything but give you space and i'd rather erase myself
put the hurt of my back
chasing feeling's never helps

i could be fake too
just not how i make do
it's not that i hate you, 
well i don't know
hard to be great you know 
it's hard to be grateful
it's hard to be thankful
so i don't show
you know we all hurt it's just life
baby i get lost in the midnight
we all got problems i just admit mine
at night my eyes wont close

ghostboy. (with waitingoncisco)

LYRICS: https://genius.com/Softheart-and-guccihighwaters-too-much-lyrics

huge thanks to the homie
@guccihighwaters

instrumentation by: @noahwalker
mixing/mastering by: softheart
production by: softheart, vowl.

free download

Too Much (feat. guccihighwaters)

LYRICS: https://genius.com/Softheart-and-guccihighwaters-better-me-lyrics

huge thanks to the homie
@guccihighwaters

instrumentation by: @noahwalker
mixing/mastering by: softheart
production by: softheart, vowl.

Better Me (feat. guccihighwaters)

lyrics: https://genius.com/Softheart-and-guccihighwaters-when-it-runs-up-lyrics

produced by @guccihighwaters and softheart
guitar by @cisco-kid-music

When It Runs Up (feat. guccihighwaters)

@guccihighwaters

lyrics: https://genius.com/Softheart-and-guccihighwaters-blue-lyrics
produced by notmorgn

download

Blue (feat. guccihighwaters)

@sewerperson
@guccihighwaters

prod by me oobv get w the times

Down and Out (feat. sewerperson & guccihighwaters)

All Smiles Here

I drove all the way here for this? (prod. homesick)

nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
just happy to be here

Softheart

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