This is a rough demo from 2019 of a song I wrote in like 2014. They were kind of dark days for me but strung together with a lot of light moments too. “Life Sucks” is a part of a larger collection of mostly unrequited love songs / sad crush songs that are gonna comprise the bulk of Soul Soap Three which I’m basically in post-post production on.

Anyway, here are the lyrics

“Life Sucks”

Life sucks, so tell me, what else is new?
Lying face down on the carpet in your bedroom
You don’t know what you should do
Is there a chance that she’s feeling as alone as you do?
I’m sure there is but you’ll never know just lying alone
On your carpet face down
And you’ve a long long way to go
And the truth is you can’t know
Whether theres any hope
Unless you try to exert control

You’re feeling stuck
So tell me, what else is now
Spoon your guitar and strum a muted chord or two
Is there a chance that she’s feeling as fucked up as you do?
A clump of stardust that took its sweet time getting to here
With still so much further to go
And the truth is you can’t know
Whether theres any hope
Or whether you can exert control
So you think that you should just let go
Allow yourself to go slow 
Back and forth until you get home
Back and forth until you get home
And maybe you wont end up alone
No maybe you wont end up alone

Life sucks

Found the Flow

Its hard for me to identify with this song anymore, I wrote it so long ago, but I feel like these sentiments might be common enough for someone to relate to so, I really don't think Im risking much putting this out there.

I remember the time when I wrote this song really well though, because aside from being really fun to play, and one of the closest things I ever got to a blues progression, it was a little bit of a tough time, and it spanned weeks and weeks. 

I wrote the first verse about frustration coming from a lack of communication with someone who certainly didn't owe me anything. More than anything else it was about how much trouble I had talking to someone I had a huge crush on for a little while. The real question posed as an alternative to the core lyrical theme here : "why don't you tell me how you really feel? I promise I can take it," could've been "why don't I ask you what I really want to know?" the answer to which would've been "because Im scared to hear the answer." Thats more honest I think but, I have the benefit of hindsight after all. 

The second verse is something real that happened to me, I really did see a head in the street one time. It really did fuck me up for a minute there. It was one of those things that happen to us as we grow up. The idea that something like that could happen anywhere, even in the burbs.

Ultimately, the titular thicket is stemming from this notion that, thats just life. Things happen; you get a thorn caught in ya now and again. When that happens you gotta pluck it out and let it heal. Theres nothing else to do for it.


Heres the lyrics:
"Why don't you tell me how you really feel, cos I promise I can take it/
why don't you tell me how you really feel, cos I promise that I'll listen/
See, I've developed quite a thick skin, working the past 10 years in construction
So theres not much you can tell me that I haven't heard before/
its not like my hearts been riding safe inside my chest.
Sometimes I wish I could've stayed soft, but Im glad I've been dragged around and callused up.
But wont you tell me how you really feel? I promise I can take it.

The other night you got caramel in your hair/
now you're a witchy candy apple/
you said you fucked up

I got off the train and saw a bloody head in the street/
laying ten feet from a body/
thats been fucking me up/

So shut my eyes and turn the volume off cos theres just too many channels all playing at once/
I need a switch to stem the flow of my thoughts/
I thought you'd help me install one/
but please just tell me how you really feel because I promise I can take it.

You've got a mouth all full of perfect teeth/
mines full of bridges and root canals.
Tonight the sky is like a black satin sheet swirl/
pushin' me like a ships sail.
My tides are swollen/
the Moons a full pregnant belly/
Im the last person you'll hear wail.
I'll just mind my business as I pluck out the stitches/
another cut from the thicket healed.

Thistle Thicket

This is a song about drinking too much and then shooting your shot in a situation that called for probably a little more subtlety than all that. It started out as an intro for another song called “Seaweed Salt,” and just sort of snowballed from there, but the implication of that is that all the lyrics of this song are about the story being told in that song.

Here are the lyrics:

"This is a song about the boy who used to live inside my skin, but Ive long since shed those scales and so he wont be back again. Except... for maybe the faint trace of that knowing grin: homegrown from a sheepish smirk, semblance of a remembrance of a time otherwise best forgotten; that little dry spell when I lost my cool. I think back with a judgement soft as cotton for that cute, hard-crushing, lush-of-a-fool. 

This old story, you know, it used to make me wince. When I would think about that once young, naive, prince of Long Island who fell too deep into his cups and decided to try his luck. But that night when he asked her for a kiss, was there ever a chance for him to miss? Or was there no chance at all? Tough call for him who tried so hard to read the room as his glasses lay cracked upon the floor and her heart was so sore and far away. 

She wasn't ready. Her heart was too sore. So she said she wasn't ready when he asked to kiss her."

Shedding Scales

This is a song about a brief dalliance that has long since come and gone.  Its about the attempt to suppress certain libidinous impulses and the question of whether or not the curtailment of ones own sexual appetites (or, further the restraint of any personal attitudes, beliefs, etc) constitutes dishonesty. Its a question that everyone has to answer on their own and in their own given circumstances because theres no universal right answer. I'd venture to say tho that ultimately, its best to toe the line as it were. One of the biggest lessons Ive ever learned is that you should be true to yourself, but its of the utmost importance that you read the room. In other words, especially when it comes to courtship, there are things about ones self that are best saved for the right time and place. And if you never get to that time and place, you never let those parts of you out. Maybe thats a shame but, spin the wheel. Try again.

Arrrr, here be the lyrics:

"Was my voice faceless?
And were my claims all baseless?
My nerves were like loose lips, and telling you made me nervous.
Your lips that night were painted black, making me hungry.
I was wondering how long it would take to take a taste.
I was wondering if you would let me.

Woe
whoah oh woe oh
rococo cocoa
I'm mining for fools gold

Excuse my scattered attempts to take you home.
Sometimes I project innocence because Im a dirty boy
and I didn't want you to know
though since thats who I truly am
I know that I should let it show
SCORPIO
besides, even pretty hair gets tousled and tangled 
who could care?
not me
I dont care about the way that I thought it was going
or the way it ended up being

I cant distinguish last night from a stirred up stocking full o seagulls
but I remember, I was hoping for a taste of flesh, like seaweed salt
and I was wondering if I wiped the mascara off your cheek
if maybe we could take a walk down to the ocean
where we'd bottle up seafoam, label it with your name, and tie it up with ribbons of that pretty hair, all tousled and tangled
who could care?
Not me
don't care about the way that I thought it was going or the way it ended up being"

Seaweed Salt

"Ghost Pills" is a song about yearning and astral projection and like what if you could like just take a pill and it would make you a ghost. Obviously there are a lot of pills that could turn you into a ghost, but the practice lacks repeatability and incurs more suffering than it relieves. Unsustainable. The songs also about haunting and being haunted; by thoughts, ideas, memories, regrets... people.

"Mt. Misery Blues" is a song about a terribly haunted place where I would go ride my bike sometimes to be alone and think and breath in the fresh air of nature. Back in the summer of 2013 (which is around about when I wrote this song) my preferred method of listening to music was to load my backpack with tapes and beers and a handheld cassette player that my friend Brody gave me. My favorite tape was definitely this old Janis Joplin jawn. The naturally occurring degradation of tape created some really interesting distortions on "Take a Piece of My Heart." Oh but I guess what the songs really about is how "getting over it" is one of those things that happens slowly at first and then suddenly all at once.



"Ghost Pills"+"Mt. Misery BLues" Rough Studio Mix

Ghost Pills (latest cut)

Mt Misery Blues (latest cut)

This is another trio of songs we recorded last October (2024) when we went into Mercy Sounds studio in alphabet city. Such a great day. Very professional setting. It was really exciting to work with Gordon Raphael who really took care of us. I mean, between the room treatment, and the equipment, and the man at the dial, we really nailed my guitar tone. I think this is the best Ive ever sounded. Courtney Francis really performed excellently on the drums as well. I know we both had a really great time. It all felt pretty special. Anyway, this isn’t quite the first rough mix, it’s basically the second mix. THeres another one in the works, but I love the way this recording sounds so much I just have to put it out right now. 

Anyway here are the lyrics to this song I wrote like ten years ago way before I got my happily ever after.

“I think maybe Im intrinsically flawed/ cos everytime I get a crush I just get struck dumb./ I don't know why she wouldn't pick up the phone/ cos when we first met I swear I saw her jaw drop./ But what if Im just like a charm on her bracelet?/ My infatuation keeping me locked in her orbit?/ I wanna hit pause and compose my thoughts/ cos truly Ive been thinking 'bout her way too much./


I think maybe Im intrinsically flawed/ cos everytime I get a crush I just get struck dumb./ I don't know why she wouldn't pick up the phone/ cos when we first met I swear I saw her jaw drop./ My Heart skipped a beat and my brain got stuck/ when she leaned over the jukebox and her sweater pulled up./ So ruminations, stop! Bartender, can I get a top off? (as I try to maintain a single smidgen of aplomb)

I had you stuck in my head back then/ from the moment we first met/ I had you stuck in my head back then/ didn't know how to get you out of it/ I had you stuck in my head/ like having dreams about you bursting forth from a treasure chest inside a lighthouse/ now everytime I see you radiate through the static, I slide down to the sand and try to tune in that bright screen

My silver-tongued stomach tries to digest you into a memory, but idiot-romantic that I am, I can’t stop picturing your face

So I’ll harbor hopes that if I hang out in enough of the old graveyards in this town, maybe Ill meet the ghost of my old charming self again

And I pray that if I stay still around this painted portrait in my minds eye of Le Venus Mound, maybe you’ll come and soak my canvas through with your dusky blues

Your hairs like a comets tail, dispersing other-worldly materials
And from your finger-tips grease-paint flows, you’ve got me embracing the ephemeral

SO I vaulted the low wrought iron gate just before dusk, with the picnic basket that I brought for us. I knelt down to the place where your grave was. I traced your sigil with my finger through old moss and mud. Now I can see you radiating some sweet bioluminescence as you float over the hill and through the nearest trees. But as you draw near it becomes clear that you’re not exactly who I thought you’d be. I thought you were just like me… And you are like me, just not in the way that I was hoping you would be. Oh beautiful spectre, does our love belong up here among the living?

"Dumbstruck at the Jukebox"+"Sandy Static"+"Graveyard Girl" (UK mix)

This is a three parter that developed over a number of years. First I wrote “Graveyard Girl,” and then at some point I started messing around with an intro for that song and after a while a little intro snowballed into a whole song on its own in the shape of “Sandy Static.” Then I repeated the process again, totally by accident. At some point the I started messing around with the first phrase of “Sandy Static” and it eventually wound up growing into a whole song unto itself and I decided to call that song “Dumbstruck at the Jukebox.”  Drummer, Courtney Francis and I went into Mercy Sounds studio in Alphabet City last October (2024) to follow through with a fantastic opportunity to work with the legendary producer Gordon Raphael as well as the the resident engineer Matthew DeSimone and this trio of songs is one of the 6 we got in the can that day. The tracks we finished then were drums by Courtney and rhythm guitar, bass guitar and vocals by myself. Matt helped out with the bass part at the very beginning of “Dumbstruck…” too which was critical. So those were all the elements present in the UK Mix of this song, done by Gordon after he went back home to London. Then I went back into the studio, this time working with my good friend Miles Bluespruce at his studio, Bluespruce Audio Studio in L.I.C. With Miles’ help as an engineer and co-producer I’ve added some more guitars and more vocals to this newer version of the song. There are more additions to come in at least one more future version but Im excited to share this step of the journey since I think its demonstrative of how a recording can sound good but still have room for improvement. There’s also this notion floating around the conversation of being a recording artist, that purports one ought to not be so precious about these sorts of things and just release a song already… so thats something Im trying to embody a bit whilst also remaining true to my own internal vision for these songs which says they can still get a little better. Im a guy who likes my pizza crust thin and crispy, and Im always leaving cookies in the oven a few minutes at least past when the recipe says. I want them to crunch, and to have the structural integrity required to soak up a good deal of oat milk on the dip. Maybe thats how I feel about the songs I make too.

"Dumbstruck at the Jukebox"+ "Sandy Static"+ "Graveyard Girl" (U.S. Mix #2)

"I think maybe I'm intrinsically flawed because everytime I get a crush I just get struck dumb/ I don't know why she didn't pick up the phone because when I first met her I swear I saw her jaw drop/ what if Im just like a charm on her bracelet, my infatuation getting me trapped in her orbit?
My heart skipped a beat and my brain got stuck when she leaned over the jukebox and her sweater pulled up.
I wish these ruminations would stop. Hey bartender, can I get a top off? Im just tryna maintain a single smidgen of aplomb"

Dumbstruck at the Jukebox (latest cut)

Life sucks, so tell me what else is new?
Lying face down on the carpet in my bedroom,
and its only a quarter past four in the afternoon.
Is there a chance that you're as bored as I am?
You should come with me, we can live off the land.

I'm feeling stuck so tell me, what else is new?
I'll spoon my guitar and strum a muted chord or two.
Is there a chance you feel as pent up as I do?
A clump of stardust that took its sweet time getting here...
and theres a long long way to go.
 And the truth is I don't know whether I can exert control.
Maybe all theres left to do is hope.

Life Sucks 1

this is a seed. It was a seed and heres what that sounded like, but now I'm starting to see some roots forming, and maybe you can hear that soon too.

Labor Day Loop

Brooklyn-based, garage-rock two-piece post-Bubblegrunge slackergaze band consisting of BK natives singer/songwriter guitarist Garrett Haran and Courtney Francis, the drummer extraordinaire.

Søul Søap

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks