Make Yourself Comfortable - Jeta Monet (Ft. Jizzy Slitherz)

You May No Longer Use My Hacksaw

Love On The Rocks -Neil Diamond Cover

baby you're leaving skids marks on my heart 
i'm sneakin' things in your shopping cart
i'm ringin' u up in the grocery store of love
check your list and know that i've been dismissed from my job
as a nudist milkman with a pogo stick in my hand
bouncin' around delivering dairy you little fairy
drippity drip

i'm your fudge fantom
haunt u in your rectum

baby you're getting too big to wash
baby look at these
they're biceps of iron
from doing push ups in the park
high baby high
i wanna be your fudge fantom
you betcha i do
yes i do
haunting you...

Fudge Fantom (remix)

baby you’re talkin to the big kahuna
down at rancho de la luna
i’ll take u for a little roller skate ride
around the desert dirt
and ya may not survive
cause ya gotta smell good for the rattlesnake rattle
down at rancho de la luna

i’m prowling around the ground
like a dirty little puma
at rancho de la luna

rancho de la luna
Dave’s gonna rub ya down with a can of tuna
he might use the whole can if he can
but he might do it later than sooner

he’s got the prunes baby
that spell your doom
you’re gonna be 6 months 
in the rancho de la luna restroom

i’m gonna punch you out
if i catch you in the outhouse again
with my cousin’s girlfriend
with some Rancho de la Luna (i.e., mezcal)

eagles of death metal
wanna lick yo bicycle pedal
slam dancing in the tool shed with Cher
and you know..u wanna have some fun? watch..
i’m growing like a grizzly bear in Target
looking for some cereal- cuckoo for cocoa puffs
the desert sun is calling me
Neil Sedaka of the laundry mat
and what do you think about that?

I remember baby
u put that barbed-wire noose around my heart
at rancho de la luna
i’m sweating pancake syrup from my pores
and i’m making s’mores out of a dead bird’s wing
and an onion ring at rancho de la luna
just give me a shove into the wood chipper of love

i’m dancing around with your little pile of pancakes baby
strumming a 6 string tuba
and i’m thinking maybe you have HIV
and that’s ok
i’ve gotta little oasis 
right in the middle of a nuclear waste dump
at rancho de la luna

Rancho de la Luna

Aint no ivory tusk 
aint no fuss
and there aint no need to clean it up
dancin on the soul of a walrus pole
everything is out of control
and it’s leaking out your hole
it’s time to go cuz Sally’s selling love by the seashore

Salty Walrus
still looking for a tight seal
don’t u know sea foam is nutritious
i’m in a glass case of emotion baby

i made a salty walrus feed on my mighty mollusk
she’s a big bag of skin that spits and spins
i enjoy long walks on the beach

swim in a sea full of walrus meat
might be something more than bottom feed
bristle lip bitch suckin’ on me
choking on the chicken of the sea
if this is how it’s gotta be
i think u owe me a chowder-mouthed apology

Salty Walrus
I think it’s time u take your talents to south beach baby
i’d make a real good step dad
it looks like u just threw up in your mouth girl

it’s a beach picnic
and i hope you like sandy hot dogs girl
you got a face only a mother could love

going full walrus 
when ya got the drunchies
slap boxing the one-eyed monkey
sexo con el queso
puffin’ Pittsburgh Pubana
it’s like catnip to all the hoze 
man snacks from the meat chandelier
goo goo ga chu
now look at you…

Salty Walrus

The Dirty Highway

SWEET LIL’ LUMBERJACK

i got the number one lumber son
and i’m ready to set ya ablaze
i’ve been eatin’ all your Lays potato chips

doing a drive by with a butterknife
i’m gonna make all your pets sweat
leap into your lasagna without warning
if i catch ya snoring too loud
i’m coming outta the clouds
with a jackhammer of love between my angel wings

baby i’m spying on your diet
don’t even try it
i know your sneaking pop tarts in the dark
and playing lawn darts
baby that ain’t so smart
cuz that thang will go right through your foot
you ain’t never gonna walk again
not through the ashes and soot of my love

my flaming fire is burning like a grill
this ain’t no cheap thrill
it’s like an Alaskan oil spill
and all the seagulls of my heart are all gooey

sweet lil’ lumberjack
wind in your beard
and the world is plaid

sliding around your porch swing 
with a waffle cone full of motor oil
and you’re making me boil
you’re gonna get a fat lip
if you step in my logging camp again with a grin
everybody knows that i’m froze deep in the forest

baby i spread cream cheese 
all over my enemies when they’re in a coma
and i like the aroma of bees
baby i’m just tryin’ to not get stung by the hot stinger of your love
cause i have allergies
and i start to swell- anaphylaxis
it’s an all access pass to benadryl
and i’m gonna roll you down the hill
i’m tired of living in 80 degree weather
and i’m snortin’ chicken feathers…

(repeat chorus)

Sweet Lil' Lumberjack

Behold the Sizzling Sounds of The Gay Grandads..

This track is not available anymore.

Other tracks from Hollywood Hemorrhoidz