Friendship breakups can be just as hard as romantic breakups. When two lives diverge, there is a crossroads where you must decide whether to continue to stay friends.

When we felt most alone last year, we started missing the friends on the periphery, on the fringes of our social sphere. We imagined the moment when you stare at your phone, debating how to reconnect.

As we get older, as our priorities shift and we further learn about what we want, it affects our relationships. Who gets left behind?

daydreaming - TONIE

a specter on the horizon,
a shadow of who I used to be,
a shadow that’s always following me

I daydream until the dawn comes,
Staring up at the ceiling tiles,
if I take some time in the dark,
Can I make my way out the way I want to

if I took a pill
Would it get easier
Would I be different around my friends
if I took a pill
would I feel more like myself

if I took a pill
would I put myself first,
Would I see what my life is worth
if I took a pill
would things get better?   

People keep trying to help me
Tell me they’re here for me
I never reveal what’s underneath

While dreaming how my life would end
I realize what my mom said
when I was a little boy
that she needed help
to find her way back to joy

if I took a pill
would I put myself first,
Would I see what my life is worth
if I took a pill
would things get better?

Can I hold on to who I am? 
With or without these pills?
Can I hold on to who I am?
If my shadow’s inside me still?

if i took a pill - TONIE

a song about all your lonely friends (and you too)

Lyrics:
I’m looking again,
At all my friends,
Gotta be there for them,
Gotta be there for them

Ain’t no time,
To take care of myself,
There’s no one else,
There’s no one else

I spend so much time helping you decide
How you’d get outside, the inside of your mind

All my friends are fucking lonely,
Sing a sad song once or twice just for them,
I hope one day you’ll find your one and only,
Or just play this sad song again

Go out to dance once a week
Drink at the bar every time we meet
Go through the motions once again,
Emotions getting the best of them
The best them

I spend so much time telling you what’s right
When I know you’ll figure it out in a couple of nights

So what am I here for (sigh)

All my friends are fucking lonely,
They call me once or twice every night,
I hope one day you’ll find someone else,
To tell you that you’re alright, you’re alright, you’re alright

All my friends are fucking lonely,
And I wish them all the best,
Because I know when I’m fucking lonely,
I’ll be the one calling them

allmyfriendsarefuckinglonely

IF I GO

A song about finding joy in memories, basking in their warmth to have hope for the future

Technicolor

[A YEAR AGO]

A year ago 
I didn’t know 
how the cards would fall

A slight of hand 
A passing glance
I didn’t know, I didn’t know at all 

How the game would change
With every passing turn,
I have to live and learn
  
Trust that I will play
Better on my own
It’s better now we’re both alone 

I’m okay 
Seconds pass between you and I 
I’m okay
I don’t need to go back in time I’m alright,
With who I am and who I will be

I’m okay, I’m alright, I’m leaving

A year ago
In Midwest snow
Nothing felt possible 

Would anything get better? 
In the dead of stubborn winter
I didn’t know, I didn’t know at all

How the path would change
In unexpected ways
Sudden rain on endless gray

And trust that spring one day
Will finally  come back home 
Cause it’s better now we’re both alone 

I’m okay 
Seconds pass between you and I 
I’m okay
I don’t need to go back in time
I’m alright,
With who I am and who I will be
(break)
I’m okay, I’m alright, I’m leaving

Alright, let me tackle this with literal
Back when the homie followed horoscopes and minerals
Back when the homie didn't care about material
Things, before he would sing on the regular
Dropped outta college with no gain of knowledge
Going back home, a boy felt like a hostage
Would he ever find a spark to place all this wattage?
Is he just an imposter? Hey, I'm just being honest
I've done a few exes wrong in my past
Will I ever say I'm sorry before I draw my last
Breath of the wild, is there some form of link
To hurting people that I love and tossing pills into the sink?
Damn, boy you know that life's behind ya
So why you moving forward like fate's tryna find ya?
You better find some solace in letting ya past go
If you stay playing games, then you will never pass "Go"

CHORUS

a year ago feat. Saenabi and MTLano

TONIE, a non-binary/queer Vietnamese-American, is a singer-songwriter and producer who writes music for people to feel less alone through creating a unique connection with listeners by being unapologetically emotionally vulnerable. 

TONIE is an LA native based in Brooklyn.