I wrote this song about a friend I lost to addiction.

Fading Grace

A song I wrote about my life in recovery.

The Decline

A song written for a friend who passed too young. 

Moth on a Grave

Lyrics:
When I’m with you all I wanna do is watch the way that your lips move as harmonies fall out your face and into place among our naked hearts as they beat right on time.
And in your presence I feel safe as though the lines have been erased and all the things that make up hate, they disappear and dissipate into a void empty of space absent from time.
And I’ve realized that all the love I’ve ever known was anchored to my mind instead of soul.
Over time it dragged me down below indifferent of the current’s flow.
And only after taking time to look inside myself, and fix the things I couldn’t be without the company of misery, did destiny decide it was our time.
And my love for you is nothing but the truth.
But I had to wait ‘till I was sure before you knew.
Of all the times I’ve been in lust, I’ve broken trust and both of us can recognize just how unjust it is to find yourself so stuck, feeling like you had been struck down to the floor.
Now I’ve heard it said before that love is hard to find when you’ve been wasting all your time trying hard to fall in line, and all the while you don’t know what you’re searching for.
But I know that this search is finally through.
But why did it take me so much time to find somebody such as you.
And you know that all it takes is just your smile, for me to be so glad to wait a while.
And even when I’m stuck wearing a frown, I know I’ll be alright with you around.
And I’m not too sure yet what the future holds for us.
But I know that we’ll survive whatever comes.


My Time With You

I don't know how to cry.

Lyrics:

Running, I'm running in circles.
I can tell that a rut is forming but I blew past the warning.
My body aches and the smoke clogs up my veins.
It's getting harder to hide what I feel inside,
Even though I try to recognize the truth within all the lies.
I heard this shit takes time.
I might just lose my mind.

Lonely but introverted.
Afraid I'm not really worth it.
Make a friend and then ghost 'em 'cause I ain't got spirit.
I'm hopeless.
I'm choking on the ashes of broken dreams when really, behind the scenes,
I'm the one pulling the strings.

Running, I'm running in circles.
My lungs collapse and my skin turns purple.
My body's cold as the rot takes over.
No more struggling to stay sober.
The world's gone dark as it ever was.
The sun still shines but there's no one to rescue us.
Not even God above can save me for what I've done.
Sacrifice a hundred sons.
The drugs have already won.

As a little kid they used to tell me I was gifted.
Little did they know, they'd hurt me worse than all these scars across my wrists did.
Never had a friend to sit and listen.
If I ever did I'd have prolly gone to foster care or prison.
Daddy had to work, didn't have the love to give.
Momma spent her days in bed tryna find her will to live.
Only son and oldest brother, caught up in the middle.
Taking it out on my sisters even when they were too little.
We were all too young to know in time we'd grow to be so bitter.
Never stood a chance of being normal. What a pity.
Maybe we'd have had it better living in the city.
Maybe this, maybe that, man who the fuck you kidding?
Wasn't shit you coulda done to make it any less shitty.
Not one thing you could have changed would've ever made a difference.
You were raised to know pain.
Left to stand out in the rain.
Slapped around enough to understand that trouble was your middle name.
Hiding cuts under your sweater, so full of shame.
Watch the blood pour out your veins.
Kinda hard see a future while you're flowing down the drain.

Running, I'm running in circles.
Stuck reliving memories that should have been the end of me.
It's hard to love myself when I've been my own worst enemy.
The fact that I've survived this long genuinely puzzles me.
What's it gonna take for me to call it quits and give in?
Maybe in a couple years I'll finally find a reason.
Until then I'll keep on runnin’, looping 'round this rut I'm stuck in.
Trying not to give a fuck that I'll never amount to nothin’


idkhtc

Arkansas boy just trying to get by. Music is my therapy.

soniclithiumofficial

Pinned to spotlight

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