was this the sign that things were going wrong ?

This song makes me feel so numb and it makes me so calm. I hope in death its there is nothing. I hope this all ends soon

I have so much words to say but idk how, but  i just want to know how did it get this bad again

picture: kai / txt
lyrics: 

Repeat to yourself that they're not really gone
Time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over

Keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
Overanalyze every single word you hear
"Was this a sign that things were going wrong?"
No, no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them

Stay up every single night staring at your phone
Either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons, these constant reminders of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream
Or praying just for one second you could feel the warmth of equally returned love

Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
Always bring your notebook, never stop writing
Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
Watch them smile as you get in your car

Talk down on yourself whenever possible
"My life is shit because I deserve it, right?"
You must have done something really bad;
It's nearly impossible for you to cry now

Avoid your friends for weeks even though they're the only sense of consistency you have left in your life
If they really wanted to see you they'd come, but they won't
Who cares?

Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
Watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you, don't fight it
Become a secondary character in your own motion picture

But most importantly drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum
Learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat
Find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach
You're drinking bottled love now

You don't need other people to drive away your loneliness
You just needed to find a way to talk to it

Comments

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maggie, gracefeel & me : )

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