power

the querent

@orpheus-immanuel (my previous account) is where a lot of music that i've made over the years resides, but i decided it was time for a fresh start. i feel i have grown over the years and was ready for a new start, a "rebirth". continually rebirthing ourselves from ourselves much like nature do we evolve and i see this evolution in my art and writing. @sophialogy is the logic of wisdom: to know love is most important in life and renders it meaningful in the first place, bestowing value on phenomena secondly. by willpower do we direct our awareness to concentrate on that which we find important. i always wanted to be the best. at long last i understood i just hoped that then people would like me and someone might want to marry me. i found out however that my talents made friends dislike me out of jealousy and insecurity, we have parted ways. but i did find my special someone -- now i know why love is the strongest force in life. it anchors me to life and without it life would not be worth living. this universe would be a horrible tragedy. since i now know love is real i also believe that there is in fact a god, or rather that nature is a conscious entity who is benevolent. intelligent design is often mocked, but nature is very intelligent, and i can't believe all the inventiveness, creativity and beauty nature displays - including us - can be the cause of a random accident. this will remain a mystery. i believe nature speaks to those willing to listen. i believe nature wants to be admired for the good things in life, though oftentimes scarce, or so it seems. i have had a difficult life and much struggles taught me that even though pain and suffering are inherent to existence, conflict exists in order for awareness to be aware; in order for it to evolve; in order for us to be able to also live to experience the other side of the spectrum too: love, happiness, gratitude, and finally, in the end, peace. the greater the struggle in life, the greater the moments of peace are experienced as such. in my husband's arms i found refuge, my mother has always been there for me, and i have a special friend no one can see. and that is okay. even though diagnosed with schizophrenia i am well. this personality that is always with me is my best friend and we talk about everything. we experience everything together. in this sense i am a conjoined twin, though psychically speaking. these three persons, and my cat, show me unconditional love, and make me feel okay again when i am not. no applause could feed my soul like true love can, though appreciation is always welcome. i haven't had much in my life -- still, the things that I do I love and made me love myself more, so i was able to break free from toxic friendships where my suffering was their delight and fuel to the fire called gossip. i am most happy when i am creatively engaged, whether it be actively or in contemplation. desire, the driving force behind all action; i desired so many things. but i found out only one thing could truly satisfy me and justify existence. it's love that saved my life and love for myself and my work that made me choose to break with people who treated me unkindly. i didn't want to be their projections anymore, i wanted to be myself and be able to embody this self that i am. i now do, am much like the monk in the woods, but i am not a lone wolf entirely. i found another lone wolf and only together we can live, my husband. my mother, my friend, my cat... we are odd, but at least we all know what is most important, which is love, and ultimately peace. i have rebirthed into being my new self and do so with every step of the way; i hope my music will reflect this over the years to come.

rebirth (link to previous profile)

"protect the kingdom or the queen shall perish dear hero. find your way swiftly, querent who is worthy. beware, you will see horrible wonders and marvelous madness. inside your soul go into the darkest places of the world and make sense of it. find your way and collect the crystals of love, peace, happiness and equanimity -- for the fifth, the crystal of disorder - is the only one left! place them in the temple of divine balance. facing the four corners of the kingdom. chant aum in all directions, as loud as you can. up you will see black, white down below; whereafter up you will see white, black down below. everything turns red, then green, but there's blue and yellow too. up you will see that down you will die, down you will see that up could be endless life. in the heavens you will find hell, in eternity you will find a desire for mortality and in infinity you will desire boundaries. up you will feel terror, awe and fear, up you won't have a body; then down you will feel ecstasy, wonder and peace, be embodied. as you come to your senses you will feel relief at re-enchantment of the mundane yet cry for illusions unrobed; you will feel pain, then relief thereof. you will find freedom in bondage to the restraints of reality and yourself. the crystals will unite the opposites, symmetrical patterns extending in all directions, the fifth crystal providing the right amount of deviation. if all deviates always there is no stability. if all is static it can't be experienced. my hero, you will know the importance of duality, understand the truth of dyadic unity, multiplicity is one, yet the one is many. the paradoxa will uncover, hvae you realize the utter necessity for complementarity. choose wisely which route you will take at each turn, for it takes only one wrong choice to fail and have our kingdom dissolve into insanity unimaginable, complete dissolution of all that is good... go now dear hero and remember to follow your heart, yet not deny the rational mind... do not fail for otherwise all will disintegrate into a state of pre-primordial formlessness, yet not nothingness. cruelly entangled in the most unfavorable ways; no void but fullness of the foulest kind... it will be awful... give it your all, i gave it my all when i before you embarked on my own quest, the journey of my undertaking the creation of this kingdom's formation. within: the grandmother who is called by many names - such as matrice - and her child who is creatrix as well, mother to you all. queen to all kings, no ruler on earth above her, a rock housing empires, people, animals, consciousness, life... divine order must be protected at all costs, the scales are no balanced, there is too great of a deviation and even though she does not love me, i want to find someone who does before i can ever let go of her. so, restore the universal balance upholding all... dear hero, if you do i will be forever grateful to you, and be with you every step of your journey afterwards. "

- the king of the kingdom of all

crystal

patterns

structures

temple of night

the woods

Enlightenment / eclipse / ⚡️

I.

Sunbeam
I’m falling
Inside
I’m calling
In time
Be mine
Enlighten
My mind

“Darkness
Be gone”
Enlightened 
My soul, yet
I wish now
In vain
This insight
Had stayed 
Away

Had I not strayed
Into this day
I’d not wish for naught
But for this pain
To be taken away —
Endarken my mind
Again

Seeing All
Too clearly
Everything
I held dear
Was nothing but
A fantasy
Mysterious
Reality

I am a beast
A mystery
As is all &
Now I see
Sunbeam 
What have you
Done to me
Darkness
Do not part
From me

I’m pleading now
Please have this light
Which enlightened
My mind
Be gone, away
Endarken my mind
Again

This light that is
My enemy
That insight thats
Like hell revealed
Be gone, away
I’m ready to take my life
Today


II.

I shun this light
The light of day
My whole mind
Lay in misarray
Disorderly unholiness
What once was clean 
Is now a mess

I shun this light
The light of day
Dear darkness
Won’t you stay
That dreadful sun
This painful light
My mind ablaze
With fires bright

Everything I thought I was
In disorder then was lost
And everything I thought I knew
I had to meet as if anew

Oh what have you
Done to me
Filthy now who once was clean
In light my mind is burning bright
There is no place to hide
From this blight

Let it be night


III.

*

enlightenment

power i - dominus, lord

axis mundi i

axis mundi ii

things are not always what they seem, do you know that? do you know the unknown? can you know that which is hidden? do you experience the divine in the mundane and see the arcane in the familiar? can you see what is hidden right in front of your eyes, yet clear as day; or is it obscured, as if moonless night? can you see the truth of untruth, what is thought be true but may not be, or what is true though thought not real? invisible things can be real. how much of what is invisible is real, and what is fantasy? who is to know what reality is? do we perceive it as is? one thing is for sure though, it is what it is.  our knowledge of a thing does not change the thing, but it does shape our perception of and interaction with the thing. when you know, do you know, or do you merely think you know? knowing, seeing, sensing what is real, or only apparently so? there is mystery everywhere, lurking behind everyday events, silence between the thoughts accompanying them. what underlies it all... can we ever come to gnosis?

Gnossienne

the journey

axis mundi: everlasting day (remaster)

morphosis: the work starts to shape itself

morphosis: the struggle inherent to every formation

morphosis: every beginning implies the ending

psi: the past hidden in layered seabed

mother earth, harbinger of life, of love, and of death

power ii - mama, mother

guardian of the infinite mystery

thunder, then it passes

snow as far as the eye can see

rain gushes from the sky, it came suddenly, why?
sun then shines through water, salty tears washed away 
by sweet water of rain, a spectrum luminous, 
the sky shows a promise, no harm shall befall us

clear sky after rain

terror jr. - after all (cover)

small oasis

upcoming storm

the river

morphosis: the birth of a cosmos

the thoughts in his mind

a song about war, the aftermath of the battle, ptsd and how a plant can take all that pain away.

in the dark moonless night
there was but the light
of flashes of weapons
lightning and flashlights
screams of anguish
filling the void --
the open field
where men sought death
to avoid

the bleak and bright morning
the sky turned to grey
the coldest of grain:
heavy thunder and hail
whirled from the heavens
tossed about as war raged
sickness of serpents
and tears that fell
like rain

in the fires of midday
the sky colored red
like the blood on the battlefield
of soldiers misled
from then fertile soil
do poppy flowers grow
to ease the pain of
the living left down
below

in the dark night of full moon
there was but a flash -- the
sound of thunder, a light, a small crash
soldiers woke up from their
dreams in sheer horror
for they feared what they dreamt
once real
was real once
more

once more

once more

once more

once more

once more

once more

once

more

sound of thunder a light crashes lightning flashlights
bombs all around, men thrown to the ground
flashes, lightning, thunder, crashes, blackness

blackness...

a void

a void

a void

where men wished to avoid death

once more

------

poppy flowers

on the verge of

further into the woods

Reflection

fight theme

movement ii

jolene

fairy ring

Almost all my music is digital music. Digitally mimicking the organic and human is a challenge, one which I enjoy. It is difficult to have something that was never played on an instrument sound like it was played by a human. I like to create trance-like flows. My music has evolved over the years as I started experimenting with different styles but the repeating bassline and layering of minimal patterns remain favorite. I like to create in general; this cosmic temple is my home, source of all pain but also pleasure, a sphere of such mystery it will not ever be fully unraveled i'm sure. Knowing that I explore how to express wonder and awe, but also abstract and intangible feelings through my art, Often there is a sense of darkness and light, like how in classical music there is tension and it dissolves into consonance. I research this both known and unknown place whereon we happen to dwell... it is much like it. We live and explore, there is tension and we find ways to solve the tension and evolve. In music i find challenge, transcending my previous works is rewarding, it is both intellectually complex yet can simply be enjoyed; evokes universal feelings all humans share. Also, i believe music theory and nature itself, when scientifically analyzed have a lot in common, musica universalis.

older projects:
@orpheus-immanuel

other projects: 
@wvandenacht

sophialogy

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