AIN'T DEAD YET
If you think of this album as the recording of a concert that was written and performed specifically for you, this song is the intro to that concert. Here's a bit about who's singing and why.

AIN'T DEAD YET

I play guitar, I like that best
I'm not a star, oh but I've been blessed
I sing real high, that pays the rent
Some days I wonder why, why I am this guy,
And what it all has meant?

I share these tunes
Straight from the heart
And pretty soon you'll know your part
In the refrain, or in the verse
These aren't just my songs, I'm passin' them along
Because I heard them first

So when your soul needs fixin'
And your life's a contradiction
And you're burnin' down like a cigarette
I got songs for addiction, or any old affliction
Some tunes to help you with your regret
What to remember and what to forget
Cause you ain't dead yet 

I think I'm here, for something more
It's not to steer this ship to shore
Or rescue those who'd rather leave
'Cos I'm part of this crew, I'm in this boat with you
And I've always believed

That when your soul needs fixin'
And your life's a contradiction
And you're burnin' down like a cigarette
I got songs for addiction, or any old affliction
Some tunes to help you with your regret
What to remember and what to forget
Cause you ain't dead yet 

Bridge

And maybe you're wond'rin'
If this could really help
Remember I'm singin'
For you and for myself

So when my soul needs fixin'
And my life's a contradiction
And I'm burnin’ down like a cigarette
I got songs for addiction or any old affliction
Some tunes to help me with me regret
What to remember and what to forget

So if you get that feelin'
When you hear me singin'
We're not strangers but friends that haven't met.
Well it's the same back at cha'
And I hope I'm gonna catch ya'
Hummin' along throughout my set
This is my intro to what you'll get
'Cos you ain't dead yet 
No you ain't dead yet
No you ain't dead yet
No you ain't dead yet


1 Ain't Dead Yet

I DON'T ALWAYS WIN
The first step of any recovery program is HONESTY; Admitting that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable. When we first started working on this project over seven years ago, we wrote this song for a family member after he had the courage to admit the truth about how he was coping. We wanted the song to be as honest about this as he was trying to be.
Lyrics:
I DON'T ALWAYS WIN
I'd be a liar if I said that I'm alright
There's no denyin' that I'm better than I've been
But every hour I'm alone it's still a fight
  That I don't always win

No need to tell me what will happen if I lose
I know the hell that will await me once again
But it's a battle that's the reason for these blues 
Cause I don't always win
No I don't always win
  
Such a sweet companion
When I feel abandoned
Keeps poisoning this canyon
Called my life
  
So where will you be when I go another round 
Have you decided yet whose corner you'll be in
If it's a champion you think you might have found 
Well I don't always win 

Still that sweet companion 
When I feel abandoned 
Keeps poisoning this canyon, called my life 

Bridge

Every victory has a cost
If I think I'm winning
 I've already lost
  
I'd be a liar if I said that I'm alright
There's no denyin' that I'm better than I've been
But every hour that I'm alone it's still a fight 
That I don't always win
No, I don't always win


2 I Don't Always Win

IT'S NOT HEAVY
It's tough to take that second step toward recovery if there isn't any hope. It's too heavy hearkens to the source of that hope.
Lyrics:
IT'S NOT HEAVY
It's too heavy, what I carry
I can't lift it anymore
I can't lift it anymore
It's just too heavy

And I'm weary, from the journey
Every night the dream's the same
Though I've tried it doesn't change
The load's too heavy, what I carry

Then from a silent place within
I hear something say...

When you've given your all and it's not enough
When the journey's too far and the road's too rough
And you've looked inside and there's nothin' left
There is still hope, if you'll only see
There's a light at the end of this endless road
Filled with love strong enough to lift any load
And it's so easily done for you
Why's it so hard for you... to believe

That it's easy
It's not heavy
It can be easy
It's so easy
It can be easy	
It's not heavy

3 It's Not Heavy

WON'T GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN
Featuring Arlene Kole - www.arlenekole.com
In every relationship that fails, and fails, and fails again and yet nothing changes some serious inventory and even more serious resolves must be made...but made together: We won't go down, we won't go down, we can't go down that road again is an anthem for every couple who want but fear they may not ever deserve the help finding the better path.
Lyrics:
WON'T GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN
How many times have we found ourselves wonderin'
How the hell we wound up here
I say I'm sorry and you say you're leaving
Repeating it year after year
This is crazy to think that maybe it won't be just like before
We're both to blame and nothing is changing
I won't live this way anymore

So I won't go down, no I won't go down
No I can't go down that road again

Being the strong one or being the wrong one is
Nothing but being afraid
Sometime we have to wake up and stop sleeping
So long in this bed we both made
There's no question we've failed the lesson
That life's been trying to teach
That frail mirage has betrayed us because
It's a fantasy no one can reach

So I won't go down, no I won't go down
No I can't go down that road again
So I won't go down, no I won't go down
No I can't go down that road again
Cos I Do Believe... That

Maybe it's time that we stopped the insanity
Crippling our journeying... maybe
Maybe the step down the wrong road we don't take
Will set us free
Promise me... (Promise me)

I won't go down, I won't go down
We can't go down that road again - no
We won't go down, no we won't go down
No we can't go down that road again

'Cos we must believe... we must believe

'Cos we must believe... we must believe
We must believe, we must believe
We must believe


5 Won't Go Down That Road Again

HEAVEN HELP ME
Making direct restitution isn't about what you say, but what you do. Of all the steps toward recovery this can be one of the hardest because there may be some who may never trust us again. Showing the depth of resolve to make things right requires a super human strength. Perhaps that's why it takes heaven's help.
Lyrics:
HEAVEN HELP ME
Heaven help me, I'm so sorry
How can I make it up to you
Heaven help me, 'cos this ain't easy
And I'll do all that I have to do

And I know It may take a lifetime
And I know It will take all my might
And I know, oh Heaven help me
I'm gonna make this right
I promise you
I'm gonna make this right

If you won't see me, That's okay now
After all that I've put you through
'Cos trust is precious, I have to earn this
You need to witness me being true

'Cos I know It may take a lifetime
And I know It will take all of my might
And I know... oh heaven help me
I'm gonna make this right
I promise you
I'm gonna make it right

Guitar Solo

And I know It may take a lifetime
And I know It will take all my might
And I know... oh heaven help me
I'm gonna make this right
I promise you
I'm gonna make it right
Heaven help me, I'm so sorry


9 Heaven Help Me

I'M CHANGED
Go ahead. Say it. Sing it. I'm changed. BY taking personal inventory everyday, and when you're wrong admitting it and then moving on, there's an energy and enthusiasm that's contagious. This song was our attempt to capture that spirit, and to make it a healthy musical addiction you can't get out of your head.
Lyrics:
I'M CHANGED
There's a line that gets repeated, once someone's been defeated
Dares to rise again and reach for a higher star
Every step moving forward is met with the same words
"Who you think you're foolin',
'Cos you can't change what you are"

Well I won't believe those lines anymore... because I'm
Not the man that I was before... you know my
Life is so much more than just rearranged... I'm changed

There've been times that I've surrendered, to a line that has so rendered me
Speechless in defense of my cause
The evidence of what I've stumbled, gave a sense I'd always crumble
And it was pointless thinking I could rise above my flaws

Well I won't believe those lines anymore... because I'm
Not the man that I was before... you know my
Life is so much more than just rearranged... I'm changed

Bridge

This isn't something that I could work out
On my own, all alone
I found the power gives me strength
That I've never known

Well I won't believe those lines anymore... because I'm
Not the man that I was before... you know my
Life is so much more than just rearranged

Well I won't believe those lines anymore... because I'm
Not the man that I was before... you know my
Life is so much more than just rearranged... 'cos I'm changed
Don't you know I'm changed
Don't you know, don't you know I'm changed
I'm changed


11 I'm Changed

LET IT GO
There's a deep humility that comes from letting go of all that's wrong in your life. And heaven knows there's so much we need help letting go of.
Lyrics:
LET IT GO
I can still recall the hour my father told me
It was time to let it go
Though its mended wing had made it sing
He said the bird I cared for wasn't really mine
Let it go

"Letting go" he said, "seems to break your heart
Though it will heal it feels slow to start"
Though the pain burned within me so
He held me tight so I could
Let it go

Years have passed since then
And so has he but I still hear his words
"Let it Go..."
"There's so much of life that can't be lived
While you're holding on to hate and anger deep inside
Let it go"

Letting go opens up the heart
There is a new day hungry to start
You can't change what has hurt you so
But you will heal if you'll just... Let it go

Bridge

All that's wrong in your life... Let it go
All that is worth saving is love

Love will hold you tight. Love lifts the burden
And love shines the light, only love nourishes us so
If it's not love, simply...
Let it go


12 Let It Go

MAMA'S COMIN' HOME TONIGHT

This is our tribute to the families who find a way to get "through" intense challenges by seeking help and then returning to their loved ones and building newer and better and sweeter lives. This is about what "home" can and should be.

Lyrics:

MAMA'S COMIN' HOME TONIGHT
Make your beds and I'll take out the trash
Find that disc of Crosby, Stills and Nash
Put the flowers in the vase,
 get those books back in the case
Clean this place up, Mama's comin' home tonight

  Feed the cat and give the dog a bath
What's that joke that always made her laugh?
Put on your Sunday best,
 I'll get my best blue jeans pressed
Gotta look fine cause Mama's comin' home tonight
  
Bet she's been wond'ring if we've been all right
While she's been recov'ring she might be scared to reunite
Your Mama's comin' home tonight
  
She may be a little hard to read
So let her know that one thing's guaranteed
We're gonna love her more,
 Than we ever did before
We're so glad, 'cause Mama's comin' home tonight
  
Well, she's been working and she's had to fight and
She's been searching for ways to hang on to the light
Your Mama's comin' home tonight
  
Bridge

There may be times when you should sit and hold her hand
Don't have to say a single word
She needs to rediscover
 Just how much we all love her
Always, forever
  
If you need to know I'll make it clear
I'm not goin' anywhere but here
I only want one life, with my kids and with my wife
We'll be fine, cause Mama's comin' home tonight
  
Yeah she's my hero 'cause she won't lose this fight
For me and our family... I'm sure we're gonna be all right
Your Mama's comin' home tonight
Mama's comin' home tonight


13 Mama's Comin' Home Tonight

IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW
Is it all right to celebrate when we've made a breakthrough? Every time someone, somewhere follows that light within there's truly cause to celebrate, and those who tried to help us through the darkness need to be thanked.
Lyrics:
IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW
How could, you believe that I would
Ever really make it through the night
Darkness, followed every heartless
Disregard of what was wrong and what was right
And even though you're gone I finally rose above
The self destruction that I conquered with your love

If you could see me now, would it make you proud
Would you be amazed or would you still have doubt,
Or would you tell me that it comes as no surprise
That I made it through somehow...If you could see me now

Voices, telling me the choices
Didn't really matter I was lost
I see I was being crazy
Trying to pretend I could ignore the cost
And then I found a way to finally rise above
The self-destruction that I conquered with your love

If you could see me now, would it make you proud
Would you be amazed or would you still have doubt,
Or would you tell me that it comes as no surprise
That I made it through somehow...Oh if you could see me now

Oh how I've missed you, day after day
There were so many times I wanted you to know
That the memory of your love showed me the way

If you could see me now, would it make you proud
Would you be amazed or would you still have doubt,
Or would you tell me that it comes as no surprise
That I made it through somehow...

If you could see me now, would it make you proud
Would you be amazed or would you still have doubt,
I feel sure you'd say it came as no surprise
That I made it through somehow....Oh if you could see me now


14 If You Could See Me Now

ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES

There is extended healing in SERVICE, and once we fully acknowledge how lucky we are to have made it to the better place then comes an opportunity to reach out to others.

Lyrics:

ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES

I am a lucky one, one of the Lucky Ones
Oh I'm watching some photographs, of a terrible loss
And nobody seems to be sure, much damage was done
Or how much it will cost so

Why am I, one of the Lucky Ones?
Why can I fly, when so many cannot run
And why does a stranger, whose dreams were denied
Have me wondering why, I'm one of the Lucky Ones
One of the Lucky Ones

I am a Lucky One, don't know how this could fair
To be one of the Lucky Ones
Could have been me, who could have been there

I can hear voices unspoken
They're calling my name
And the eyes of those who've been broken
Keep on staring at me
Begging me to explain

Why am I, one of the Lucky Ones?
Why can I fly, when so many cannot run
And why does a stranger, whose dreams were denied
Have me wondering why
I'm one of the Lucky Ones

Bridge

This yearning I feel, it won't go quietly
The answer I seek is somewhere inside me
Oh Why, Oh Why
One of the Lucky Ones
One of the Lucky Ones

Oh I know why I'm, one of the Lucky Ones
And I know why I can fly, when so many cannot run, oh
A stranger's misfortune, brings a promise tonight
That I'll do what's right 
And feel someone's plight  
And help him take flight
Like one of the Lucky Ones

  Like one of the Lucky Ones
When so many cannot run
One Of The Lucky Ones
One Of The Lucky Ones
 Yeah 
I Am A Lucky One
One Of The Lucky Ones


15 One Of The Lucky Ones

I WILL NOT BE AFRAID
Just a reminder to ourselves that as scary as it has been to take the steps on the road to recovery, it's scarier still to live in fear.
Lyrics:
I WILL NOT BE AFRAID
Because it's you, because it's true
Because you're far too good to lose
Because you're here, because it's clear
Because your love has been drowning the fear

I will not be afraid
I will not run away
I will not leave too soon
And then wish I stayed
I will not be afraid
I will not be afraid

Because I've lost, because it cost
Because my heart's been double crossed
Because I thirst, to quench the hurt
Because not trying is always worse

I will not be afraid
I will not run away
I'll work the double shifts
'til the piper's paid
I will not be afraid
I will not be afraid

Bridge

For so long I chose to be 
A prisoner of fear
I prolonged the slavery
For too many years, for too many years

I will not be afraid 
I will not run away
I'll let those memories of failure fade

The hand that I've been dealt, I'm gonna play
I'll keep the things I've learned and I will not trade
I will not be afraid
I will not run away

I'll grow a little stronger every day
I'll face the music proudly that I have made
And if you knew me then you'll know I've changed today 

I will not be afraid
I will not be afraid
I will not be afraid


16 I Will Not Be Afraid

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW

The private concert we've titled Soundtrax 2 Recovery concludes with this - the final song from your friends who hope and pray you've heard with your heart the hope and faith we have in you. And if you listen closely you'll know that you're not alone and we're never giving up on you.

Lyrics:

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW

If you didn't know, I'll try to make it clear
Open up your heart, 'cos love is spoken here, right here
  
Can You Hear Me Now, Can You Hear Me Now
Can You Hear Me Now
  
Every word I'm sayin', and prayer I'm prayin' 
Is meant to let you know
I'll be there when there is nowhere else to go
Can You Hear Me Now, Can You Hear Me
I'm the one who cares
  
It's never been my way, to claim I know it all
I'm tellin' you today, even though you've had a fall, stand tall
  Can You Hear Me Now, Can You Hear Me Now
  Can You Hear Me Now
  
I'm the one you'll find, who will stand behind you
'til you stand on your own
I'll be by your side and you'll never be alone
Can you hear me now, Can you hear me,
I'm the one who cares
  
That inner voice keeps callin', it's callin' out your name
It's from the heart, it's time to start
A life you can reclaim 
  
As long as I am breathing, I'll keep repeating
I know you'll make it through
You're the one that I love and I believe in you
  Can you hear me now
Can you hear me now
Can you hear me now
Can you hear me
I'm the one who cares, so much
I'm the one who cares
Can you hear me now


17 Can You Hear Me (I'm The One Who Cares"

She Knows What I Like

As mentioned above, my wife and I have been married nearly 43 years which can only mean we love each other and we are getting older! I was just thinking about Melanie who will be turning 65 on her next birthday which seems impossible!! Although we are both in our 60s, we still feel young at heart and that’s where the first line came from, “Headed toward highway 65, she don’t act her age”. A couple cannot survive 43 years without knowing what the other half needs to feel complete in a relationship. I feel that this is the foundation of our relationship so the song pretty much wrote itself.


03 She Knows What I Like

Where Does All The Money Go

My wife Melanie and I got married on a mountainside in 1973 at beautiful Big Bear Lake, California. Our honeymoon was in a rustic cabin at the time was only $12.00 a night. After that trip, we often took trips to the lake to fish and just relax. Even after our twin sons were born, we often took them up there, rented boats, hiked and just had a fabulous time every time we went. We really loved the place although you could see signs of change with gaudy out of place “Beverly Hills” like homes being built right on the lake limiting access to the public but it was still a special place for us. We stopped visiting the lake for maybe 20 years as we were busy with kids, careers and little league but two years ago, Melanie and I decided to go up there for our 40th anniversary so I planned the trip. Needless to say, the cabins went from 1973 rates of under 20 dollars a night to well over 200 a night but we didn’t care. We loved it there and wanted to revisit where we tied the knot so long ago. We had to pay for the room at a rental office in Big Bear. That’s where we would pay and pick up the keys for that special cabin we loved so much. The rental person informed me that in addition to the outrageous price of the rustic cabin, there would be a booking fee that I believe was around $75.00. I questioned why a booking fee when we were already paying so much and their answer was, “Well everybody else does it up here.” What was I gonna do? We were already there and I didn’t want to wreck the romantic getaway so I agreed. 
Excitedly we went to our cabin and immediately saw that it was indeed exactly the way it was in the 70s except it cost 10 times as much. What the hell, again we just sucked it up and settled in. As it started to get dark we flipped on the lights but they kept going out and the only way to get them to come back on was to bang on the wall. Who cares, we will be sleeping when it’s dark so who needed lights anyway? The next day we wanted to take our boat onto the lake but we found out that we need to buy a “lake use” permit for the days we planned on using it. OK, OK, we paid and then went to the launch ramp where we found out that there was a “launching” fee that we had to pay before we could launch and that we also had to buy a special “Big Bear” trolling flag in addition to getting the boat inspected. “All these extra fees, will be the death of me”. My head was spinning but at long last it was finally time to launch. It was a beautiful day and we were off. After an hour on the lake, the clouds started to build up and before we knew it we were in a lightning storm. We got off the lake as soon as we could and unfortunately, the storms lasted the rest of the day and of course there were no rain checks! This went on for two more days and finally we had had enough and wanted to get the hell out of there never to come back. I am surprised we didn’t have to pay a “check out” fee and “leave the mountain” fee. So that trip got the ball rolling on this song so hopefully it will help pay for that disastrous trip!!


02 Where Does All The Money Go

“Beep Beep” was the first completed song for my new CD. My wife and I were visiting Bend, Oregon in June of 2014. We were staying in a hotel and I woke up very early and didn’t want to wake her so I put on headphones and turned on my computer. A few days earlier I had been working on a new idea starting off like most of my songs, with a guitar figure and then the rest just kind of came. I recorded the guitar and added a melody that came to me as I listened. Luckily, I saved it and added it to my music so I could access it while we were away from my studio in Los Angeles. As I listened to the music for some reason I thought about the Beatles and the first line came, “I got the fever back in 64, ain’t felt nothin’ like it since, nothin’ like it before” and the song just poured out. The whole reason I took such an interest in music at all was because I saw the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show and freaked out! I left for California three years later and three years after that, signed with Atlantic Records at age 18. They set the bar higher than it ever was before when it came to talent, songwriting, singing, recording techniques and just about everything else they did. To this day, I use their double time percussion technique to change a song section’s feel and learned all about writing a bridge from listening to their awesome records. “They changed the worlds ‘cos we were all listening!!” I was so lucky to have grown up listening to this incredible band that launched so many other great bands and did indeed change the world forever. 

01 Beep Beep

EVERYBODY'S RECOVERING FROM SOMETHING

For many recovering addicts it’s in rehab they discover there are often musical triggers to their abuse, (the songs associated with using) and then they have to learn how to avoid those triggers that are essentially the soundtrack to their addiction.Last year, some addiction recovery sponsors found out that John Batdorf and I were working on a project with the working title of 12 songs for 12 steps and asked if we’d do a concert for several recovering addicts. Turns out it was about 700 addicts and their families who attended. The concert gave John and I a chance to see if our songs made a difference with the audience. We were overwhelmed with the feedback we got that evening. The show received a tremendous response, people waiting in line for nearly an hour to thank us, and after receiving several hand written notes from addicts at the show saying “please hurry and get these songs recorded” we realized that the need was great and the urgency even greater.

John and I are singer/songwriters with a passion to let the power of music help people trying to change. We’ve been wearing out our lives the last forty plus years as professional songwriters hoping to make a difference. Although we understand we’re not the only guys who have songs that could help, we want to get the ball rolling.

One of the reasons we are passionate about doing this project is because it’s hit very close to home. In each of our families we’ve seen the devastation that comes from addiction, in any of its forms. We’ve worked our entire professional careers in a business where all too often substance abuse, drugs and alcohol, and any other form of addiction has destroyed lives. We’re not trained therapists, we don’t have degrees in social work, but we know what we’ve seen and we want to do what we can. Writing songs aimed at penetrating hearts is something we can do. And getting these songs recorded and made available for those who need them most has been more important to us than simply searching for yet another way to climb up the music charts. Somewhere at this very moment there’s an addict trying to hold on a few more hours until his next AA meeting, or her next appointment with a sponsor, and it feels like an eternity. We might be able to offer a little help, even when we can’t physically be there for them. You might be thinking, “come on, it’s only a song”. But it’s more than that. If someone somewhere can hear a song tell them the truth the only way their heart will hear it, maybe then they’ll know, deep down, they’re not alone.

Soundtrax 2 Recovery

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