birdhouse

"make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all"
--
lyrics:
i've read the room
it's not like i can't tell that it's too late
i'm sorry, i'm just stuck on step eight
told the frogs at the creek you're my soulmate
i've never been more wrong

everyone knows the power of a trauma bond
and everyone saw the way that we just
ripped each other apart

i'm still not the same and i know you can tell
i tried to explain but it didn't go well
and the passage of time is a monster from hell
and you're so far away but i'm still just trying to help

god, i wish you so well
you tell me you'll be home soon?
well i'll be dead until june

everyone knows the power of a trauma bond
and everyone saw the way that we just
ripped each other apart

(selfish ugly heart)

everyone knew the power of our trauma bond
and everyone saw the way we used to
rip each other apart

apart

step eight(demo)

hi all
__

i am here
watching you fall from grace
and lying that my hands weren't on your back
drinking you all in
every single i've done
put me in control

but i let it all go when i'm tired
i let it all show
and i make a fool of myself
at your door
i give a little more

i, i, i 
i don't have any words but i have you
i don't have any plans so what should we do?
i don't have any strength to push you
like i want to
so maybe you should help and go
maybe you should help and go
maybe you should never go 
anywhere at all

maybe you should never go
maybe you should never go
maybe you should never go anywhere

maybe you should never go
maybe you should never go
maybe you should never go
anywhere

i love you more than lying and making a mess
sleep on the floor every day and still go do your best
that's who you are
that's what i want
pick up the mess
we clean up the best
i think i'm in love

vulture (demo)

love this one
--
i wait on my first meal
leaving room to stomach your worry
we play an even field
i'm afraid i'm selfish
i wonder if you're real

circle round your mood
tending to your wounds while you wrap mine
oh what's a boy to do?
for the first time, he bets on my peace of mine

but i don't have much to spare
if i'm being honest there's nothing there
but this empty tank will bring us to the shore

i,
i think i'm finally coming up for air
the wading kills faster than the water
i haven't thought this through
i thought you'd scare me
but you love me like a girl

seven (demo)

kevin !!!!!!!!!!!
__

(literally so picture perfect, like)
(it's just stupid... let's move to canada)

i want to feel, i want to go
and i want something so desperately
but what it is, i’ll never know
and i scream with my own throat:
"i must move on from something"
but what that is, i don’t know

i don’t know, i don’t know
i guess i don’t know

sing me soft and sing me sweet
sing to me like i deserve the sleep
sing, my morning little dove
sing to me under the sun above
i love you lots, i love you whole
i love you more than my resting soil

i love you
that is all i can give you, my love
come get it
do you want it? you still want it?
you can have it
you can

heal, you can go
but you want something so desperately
and what it is, i’ll never know
you can scream in your throat
you can move on from something
but i will be the last to know

will i know, will i know?
i guess i don’t know

but fear’s too thin a thread to tie us
and you’re too close to faith, i fear
and your big eyes can seem so modest
but you know why i’m here
i want, i want, i

just have to go
for i want something so desperately

i don’t know, i don’t know
i don’t know, i don’t know
where to go, where to go?
take a walk in the snow
let me know, let me know

(are you recording me?)
(maybe)
(just from like... anyway)

saint-irénée

love this song love this song love this song!!!
___
lyrics:

first time i saw joey he was
looking at the stars
he said to me, 
“ain’t it funny how of all of them,
we’re right where we are?”

i heard joey’s out there
staring down the barrel of a gun
i said, “the stars are still shining, joey”
he said, “life’s no fun”

oh, i worry
for you, joey
and your mom, she’s all alone
she won’t say it, you’d feel guilty
but she fears you won’t come home

i know i can’t say
a thing to change you now
but oh, oh, joey
there’s always room for you
in our hometown

last i heard from joey, 
he was working somewhere in town
i'd always thought that, joey,
you would stick around

but the world is a cruel and confusing
wretched place
i’m sorry that it failed you
and i’m sorry that i've done the same

oh, i worry
for you, joey
and your mom, she’s all alone
she won’t say it, you’d be guilty
but i’m sure she needs you home

i know we didn’t say anything
when it really mattered
but where is that joey i knew?

i know the big, bad world
has bled you dry
but funny, skinny joey
still lives in my mind

i am just a man, i know
what good am i?
but i never changed, joey
i’m right by your side

oh, where is that joey i knew?
a prayer for that joey i knew, oh, oh
oh, where is that joey i knew?

navy blue (demo)

i have been extremely busy recently this song is about that
—
the shower runs cold on saturday mornings
and it rarely ever rains, but when it does it’s pouring
i think i’ve started having hallucinations
i was told to wait, but i grew thin with my patience

i
and i’m so tired
more than i ever thought was possible 
life on the wire
my baby marks the nearest hospital

the only time i see it is when i’m sleeping 
there’s a certain type of hunger that stops you eating
i wanna chase a future that i feel fleeing
but a cycle is a cycle and it’s repeating
oh, it’s repeating
oh, it’s repeat-

and when everything is said and done,
will it all feel funny?
no trouble in my paradise,
no chasing after money?
i need to live before i die
hope the world is still sunny and bright
when i step outside

the only time i see it is when i’m sleeping 
can’t satiate a hunger that keeps you from eating
it’s slipping through my fingertips,
i feel it, fleeting
it’s a cycle, and a cycle will keep
repeating

repeating

the wire (demo)

who up feeling suffocated under the weight of the collective and inevitable bleakness of our future (i am an american college student)

lyrics:

we were promised more than this
good souls see no respite
for we may want and squirm like lamb,
that strange girl in the mirror
is still all i am

dangled a future in front of my face
i feel that you’ve ridiculed me
every step of the way
and i’d do it, you know i’d do anything at all
but it’s a rigged game

and every time we lose it, it’s always the same
pockets left empty and we are to blame

but if i could make it, i’d make it today
oh, if i could make it,
i’d make it today

beggars

lyrics:

full time live in care
barreling towards my biggest fear
i am not a person in the 
conventional sense

suppose my destiny
is burdening
those i love
rather those that love me, love me
love me, love me
love me, love me

do you love me still?
is my body enough 
to tether you to me?

are you tired of me?
i need some sleep myself

full time care (demo)

shut
the door
i don't wanna listen to you
anymore
i'm hollowed out already
crawling across 
the floor
fingertips are heavy
whatchu waiting for?

you lie
cuz you like it
yeah you like to watch me squirm
you cry
i don't like it
god i hate to see you hurt

you
again
i'll open up the door knowing 
you're no friend
i know that i'd be better without you
and i shouldn't
i tried to let you go
i couldn't

you lie
cuz you like it
yeah you like to watch me squirm
don't
call me that
that's not my name, that's hers

we could've fallen asleep in the middle of the park

pretty girls
don't talk to me
they want a pretty boy
the kind who stares at me
but pretty girl
please talk to me
cuz i'm so lonely

i know
all i do
is sit around in my house
but i'll love you
more than anybody else

pretty boys
don't talk to me
they want a pretty girl
prettier than me
but pretty boy
please talk to me
cuz i'm so lonely

if you think this song's about you
then it probably fucking is
cuz i still love you
if that counts for shit

your face makes me nervous

big thanks to alfonso for the piano & some sick vocals. check his shit https://soundcloud.com/soular-child
--
your head
hits the bottom of the staircase
my vision's blurring
what am i doing
how do i make this go away

your hair
matted like part of the carpet
you're still so pretty
even when you hate me
that's ok

that's ok

is this part of a plan
that nobody cared to tell me about?
is this something i don't understand?
maybe i'm just clued out
and this is supposed to happen

you turn
i knew you were gonna leave but
it still hurts knowing
that you're only going
cuz of some stupid mistake

it hurts
even though i saw it coming
my breathing's slowing
how could i live knowing
that i let you slip away

is this part of a plan
that nobody cared to tell me about?
is this something i don't understand?
am i just clued out
and this was supposed to happen?

i don't know how to make you happy (with soular child)

cute lil thing for you

compensation for the missing 'i love you's

outro (because i'm in love with you - billie eilish)

i love you :(
--
it's so quiet in my house
i wish the bathroom door was closed
so i didn't have to hear you choke
no, wait
what happens when i'm not around?
just stop, just give yourself a fucking break

what makes you think deserve this?
so broken and perfect
let it heal on its own
it'll go away

when has this ever been worth it?
i know that it hurts but
please just don't fucking do-

oh fuck
too late

please love yourself like i love you

i see myself in u
--
you made a promise to me
and everyone around you
but it's not about me
i do this cuz i love you
i'm sorry

you need me when you're low
but will you need me when you're high?
i feel like i should go
and i don't even know why
maybe it's cuz
i see myself in you

you made a promise to me
and everyone around you
but it's not about me
i do this cuz i love you
i'm sorry

sorry
i just get mad when i'm worried
i just get sad when you bury it down
a little bit further

don't worry
there must be something wrong with me
but is it so wrong to be
afraid out of love?

cuz you made a promise to me
and everyone around you
but it's not about me 
i do this cuz i love you

and all of your
promises to me
and everyone around you
but it's not about me
i do this cuz i love you
i do this cuz i love you

i'm sorry

cyclical 205

cover of lavender blood i did at one am

how long can i wait
until 'it gets better' is just
filling up the space
that my whole body needs
when i need to die
cuz i can't sleep?

and i know it's been said
a million times
but i don't wanna be alive

how can you call this getting better
when i'm just getting bored?
and i can't do this all forever
i need more

am i moving on or giving up?

side note: people tell me i say "sorry" weird. i blame my canadian dad
--
i'd put all of the lyrics here but it's just these two stanzas and then freestyle using the same lyrics so uhhh here they are

bury me in dirt
when my lungs have finally reached capacity
please don't let it hurt
my body's just a body,
it's not me

my soul's never been tangible
i'm sorry i'm so terrible

(i wrote this to get stuck in your head) so maybe you'll remember me

i wish we fell asleep in the middle of the park

spotify: 
https://open.spotify.com/track/6ZAvThnedCLBP9vVG8Gm7z?si=gf7IvBhhRu-2cSbJhFJlXw

lyrics:
you don't care
--
i would go back in time
if you gave me a chance to say no
i would go back in time
if it gave me the chance to let go
no more dizzy streetlights
as i struggle to finish a joke
no more dying each time
you made a little move
i'd have a little stroke

is this what they mean
when they say you fall out of love?
don't call me crazy
but i think that maybe
it's time

i don't wanna wake up
to repeat all the things that i hate
i don't wanna fuck up
but i feel like i'm living in a cage

is this what they mean
when they say you fall out of love?
don't call me crazy but i think that maybe
we've both had enough

is this what they mean
when they say you fall out of love?
no
don't call me crazy but i think that maybe
we've had
had enough

i would go back in time
so i didn't have to hurt you this much

plastic waltz

honey

i've never called a hotline in my life
but i've wanted to die quite a few times
you say i do this to myself
i say go to hell

you hang up and i cry myself to sleep
morning comes and i pretend we're happy as can be
you go off and slowly forget me

if i have to spend one more day waiting for something to happen
i'm gonna die
parts of me are scared for my health
and parts of me are ready to say goodbye

i don't mean to worry you but i'm running out of time
and i don't mean to worry you but i don't know how to just be alive

come hold me like you used to
you hate me but i still need you

i guess i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry

i love you
i love you
i love you
i'm sorry

i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me

you make me
hate me
hate me
hate me
you make me
hate me
hate me
hate me

god, god
god
god?
god, god
god
if you're out there set me free
if you're out there leave me be

give me back the one i need
give me back the one i need
make me feel something besides apathy

i need you to save me

last resort

cigarette daydreams

dont really know why, but i would entrust hozier with my life.
goodnight

wasteland, baby!

i just want some friends
i know this is kind of bad but at least it's genuine

you're a fucking drug

i poured my heart into this. this one goes out to me

like flowers

SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/album/4jQJv17HFXT8InfDRy2C8x?si=LfW6MtyuSki5Rwds8LieTA

there will be an album sometime soon :)
--
i've been changing my mind
thinkin bout you all the time
wondering if you'll stay you'll go you'll come you'll call
i've been wasting my time
missing all our low-lit nights
trying to find the good the trust the fun the love

please don't waste my time
god knows i've been trying
but i've been all but hiding
tryna kill the fighting

it's you and me from start to end
you know you'll always be a friend
so stay with me, i'll make it worth your while

it's you and me from start to end
you know i'll always be a friend
so stay with me, i'll make it worth your while
(ok)

stalemate

SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/track/7f350wBifxh3RM5OnvvjDM?si=IDlsDnZNTC2vHIv2pSblRQ

second single off birdhouse, might be the last
__
punch drunk
hot poison in your cup
arms are heavy, getting weak at the knees
what the fuck?
lazy eyes they size me up
you look like you don’t recognize me

teenager things, we’re not allowed to be serious
vibrant we dream, but we're mocked for pursuing it

but i wanna grow up, i wanna grow up
i wanna grow up, oh
i wanna grow up, don’t wanna show up
to some party drinking liquor for show

i’m a woman, i’m a woman
i’m not your baby girl, and i don’t wanna be
i’m a woman, i’m a woman
i wanna watch you grow into a man with me

choked up
see a girl you wanna fuck
i’m just crying, and you’re laughing at me
i’ve had enough
i just wanna call your bluff
stop, i know you’ll miss me

teenager things, we’re not allowed to be serious
vibrant we dream, but we're mocked for pursuing it

you don’t wanna grow up, you don’t wanna grow up
you don’t wanna grow up with me
you don’t wanna grow up, you just wanna roll up
to that party with your liquor and weed

aren’t i your woman? i’m your woman
am i your baby girl, do you want me to be?
i was your woman, your lovely woman
but while you chase your thrills, you walk right by me

i'm on the bathroom floor

third single off birdhouse. this one has hurt the most so far
__
i don’t know how to start this
am i just practice?
while i wait for change,
do you wait for distraction?
am i just a toy
for a dog of a boy
who's chasing a girl
with a sickly complexion?

you said
“i have to remember
remember her voice
her round face, her big eyes
her roses and poise”
you know i hate you?
but i hate the silence more 

so i’ll suffer along the path you pave
if there’s flowers along the way
and i’ll rise to the challenge if you try to break me
cause i’m hoping for better days
and i’ll wait in my dress and veil
my skin’s still soft, but it’s growing pale
and if my petals peel towards the ground
then so be it, there they’ll lay

for you
the rust will always wash away
when rain comes dragging a new day
but my words will always fall against your face
you burn hot like distant sun
a man cold and a woman undone
and i’ll bite and claw but i will never run

i’ll just suffer along the path you pave
cause there’s flowers along the way
and i’ll rise to the challenge when you try to break me
cause i’m hoping for better days
so i’ll wait in my dress and veil
my skin’s still soft, but it’s growing pale
and if my petals peel towards the ground
then so be it, there they’ll lay

do you remember
remember her voice?
her round face, her big eyes
her roses and poise

wallpaper

i'm SO proud of this :)
--
lyrics:
i just have to see it, and i start to cry
i just wanna leave it, won't you walk on by
and i'm too broken to live like i used to
oh, but i want to
and maybe i need to lose you to come to
tell me it's not true

but it is
come to terms with it or it won't heal
it wouldn't hurt me if it wasn't real
i make no promises about my return
but you lead your live like you've got time to burn

don't you think i wanna get better?
don't you know i'm at the end of my damn rope?
don't you think i'm silenced forever?
and don't you beg me for hope

come to terms with it or it won't heal
it wouldn't hurt me if it wasn't real
i make no promises about my return
cause you lead your live like you've got time to burn
come to terms with it or it won't heal
it wouldn't hurt me if it wasn't real
i make no promises about my return
but you lead your live like you've got time
time

firefighter

SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/track/7sepS89khaApX70T3Z063I?si=c7f09101cdac4a13

ya'll i am SO sorry about the inconsistent volume and literally dog shit mixing on this song i honestly do not know what went wrong with this one or how to fix it lmao 
UPDATE: fixed it sort of!! thank u some random guy on fiverr <3
on that topic if any producers wanna collab literally i am begging u on my hands and knees lol

i hope u guys didnt forget about me lmao but i will have new music soon. promise. here is a demo for now <3
--
lyrics:
come on open up and take me home
don’t pretend you don’t remember us alone
we’d sweep the streets, remember how we’d roam?
you’d tell me things that no one else in this town knows

oh, it was something
but now we have pretend it was nothing
but if i saw you around i might say something
barely anything
but better than nothing

someday i will find you in the corner of the room
i’ll close my eyes and take us back to clouded days in june
we’re waiting for dark
we’re walking my dog
my mom wants me back, so i can’t be too long

but i’ll meet you tomorrow on our corner
take this thing a little further
but i’ll never love you again
you’re just a sign of the times

i hope you gained weight
i hope you got clean
i hope that you’re sorry for ever being that mean
and i hope that you’re happy
and i hope she is too
and i hope maybe one day i won’t soften for you
but today’s not that day
oh, today’s not that day

come on open up and take me home
you can’t pretend you don’t remember us alone
we’d sweep the streets, remember how we’d roam?
tell me things that no one else in this town knows
yeah there are things that no one else in this town knows
yeah we know things that no one else in this town knows

space cadet

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks