Made with a bicycle and a bow and a glass beer bottle. . .and my awful voice.

Cotton Gin Conundrum

To Be Beatrice (Rebecca Watts cover)

I asked David Bowie to help me cover this song, somehow I also had to include Tony Clifton or Bowie wouldn't do it.  Michael McDonald and Tom Waits also do back ups.

Lyrics:
She's always been oblivious, but it's much more than you think
She walks to the corner to meet up for a drink
But oh what's that melody, it's incredible for sure
It could be about her or any other girl

The singer plays
his simple tune
The harmony fills up the room

Too good to be true, he's looking at you,
Oh to be Beatrice, to be Beatrice
Listen all the way through, it's all about you
Oh, Beatrice, How could you have missed this?

She's always known she's met him, but she can't remember when
Was it the bartender or a friend of a friend of a friend?
Nothing so remarkable to make a memory that she'd keep
She envisions the verses as she's drifting off to sleep

The bass line paints
a blue background
The treble takes away all the clouds


Too good to be true, he's looking at you,
Oh to be Beatrice, to be Beatrice
Listen all the way through, it's all about you
Oh, Beatrice, How could you have missed this?

She's always been clever, but she's at a loss for what to say
So -ow it's up to her to think about that day
LITTLE SOLO

The feeling's back
The words appear
Like magic, like they've always been there

Too good to be true, he's looking at you,
Oh to be Beatrice, to be Beatrice
Listen all the way through, it's all about you
Oh, Beatrice, How could you have missed this?

To Be Beatrice (Rebecca Watts cover)

This is a cover of Newski1's Conspicuous Piles for 2018 White Elephant Christmas Song Exchange https://soundcloud.com/newski1/conspicuous-piles-take-2

In quicksand, a dumpster, in the jungle, up a tree
These all seem like sensible places to me
To leave a body that you just shot down
Leave em' there while no one's around

But on the day of June 16th
I must have gone a bit, insane you see
None of these things came to mind
I thought maybe I could bide some time

To find a car a truck or a trailer
Or if I was really in luck a hay baler
Instead I went in to some sort of shock
I piled those bodies up on a rock

Chorus:
Conspicuous Piles
I left the bodies in conspicuous piles
I only meant to leave them there for a while
Now I'm on trial
I never should have made such, conspicuous piles

In the cemetery, the sewers, the lake, inside a tree
It's simple to find a place no one can see
fresh cement, vacant lots an empty tent, a barrel
Or I can always count on my friend Darryl

He's the kind of guy that'll help you in a bind
You see I've done this before without doing any time
Lent me some hydrofluoric acid and some rope to bind
The lid of that plastic barrel down tight
And let em' soak in the basement all through the night

But this time I didn't make it to Darryl's
The shock hit me like a gun with two barrels
So learn this lessen when you're a schemin' your plot
Never pile the bodies up on a rock

Chorus

Conspicuous Piles (Newski1 Cover)for 2018 White Elephant Christmas Song Exchange

Buffalo Nickel Master

This is a lovely song about having money... and being alone... and having a drink...

It's not enough to go out shopping
Drunk til 4 just buying something
Peruse my saves and move it with one click
Just what I need, bacon flavored chapstick!

Scotch and Ebay
Rum and Craigslist
Gin and Marketplace
Wine with amazon

Green yodeling dildo pickles and toy robots
These are saved things I'll move to my carts
Now drink booze to help justify it
Point to choose, you can't lose, click and buy it

Give it to me now I want it
I saw it once now I'm taunted
Veruca Salt, she had it right
It's not my fault I'm up all night

Scotch and Ebay
Rum and Craigslist
Gin and Marketplace
Wine with amazon

(buy buy)

I love to drink and buy it's what gets me high
When I mix ebay and scotch it's what gets me off

Star wars chewy mask 
bedazzled sausages
furby organs
cat drone
skymall! skymall! skaymall!
printer ink?
can of creamed possum with sweet potatoes garnished in coon fat gravy
Anything on wish .com!
 
(buy buy)

I love to drink and buy it's what gets me high
When I mix ebay and scotch it's what gets me off

Scotch And Ebay

You've been Employee of the Month
for at least the past year.
And not just because
There's only 2 workers here

You work so hard
You know my car
My food is ready
My heart is heavy... with lard

You see my Subaru
Through the window just pull in
I see my hero, two
Already the meat's a grillin'

You're on the grill
You're on the trash
I'm in a rush
I've got the cash

You're a hero
Nothing says I love you like a Hero
I've got a place in my gut for that Hero
And since you're the one that made it, you're my hero

I don't know your name,
But you know my order;
A hero, no bun, over fries, in a bucket
to go!

You discount
You ring me out
I say thank you
You say you too   (come again)

You're a hero
Nothing says I love you like a Hero
I've got a place in my gut for that Hero
And since you're the one that made it, you're my hero

You're a hero
Nothing says I love you like a Hero
I've got a place in my gut for that Hero
And since you're the one that made it, you're my hero

Session 1, Song 3: Mr. HERO

This is part of the annual White Elephant Christmas Song Exchange in which names are placed in a hat and drawn, and whomever you get, you must cover one of their songs.

I had the pleasure of covering one of Alec Danger Schumann's song, Robot Toys; https://soundcloud.com/alec-danger-schumann/robot-toys

Here's my cheezy Jazzy version.

Robot Toys! (an Alec Danger Schumann cover)

Technology sucks why don't you work? You just updated no, don't install updates now. Do I have to rely on you? Virtually pay for printer ink?! Look at the road! You should'a told me to include an upper case and lower case letter, special character, and numbers before I thought of this password. Let me talk to a human now! It's infuriating. I hate automated services! Technology sucks! No special characters. Wi-Fi not found. This device does not support your software. Press 0 to talk to an operator Please hold let me transfer you to a different department. Hello, this is Google. I just need to clarify information. Micro USB? Mini USB? No, USB C! 4 million emails. I have so many different connections. Electronic waste. That's not what I typed you stupid auto correct. I wish it was 1999.

Technology Sux!

This is  a re-do of an older song I did with only acoustics and vocal. This version channels Chris De Burgh.



You've been Employee of the Month
for at least the past year.
And not just because
There's only 2 workers here

You work so hard
You know my car
My food is ready
My heart is heavy... with lard

You see my Subaru
Through the window just pull in
I see my hero, two
Already the meat's a grillin'

You're on the grill
You're on the trash
I'm in a rush
I've got the cash

You're a hero
Nothing says I love you like a Hero
I've got a place in my gut for that Hero
And since you're the one that made it, you're my hero

I don't know your name,
But you know my order;
A hero, no bun, over fries, in a bucket
to go!

You discount
You ring me out
I say thank you
You say you too (come again)

You're a hero
Nothing says I love you like a Hero
I've got a place in my gut for that Hero
And since you're the one that made it, you're my hero

You're a hero
Nothing says I love you like a Hero
I've got a place in my gut for that Hero
And since you're the one that made it, you're my hero

DOMO

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