100%  sled cover

anesthesia - xxx.1n.luv.xxx

sean was a kid who found me in the end of 2020 on the ig of my old music project. he and i bonded over our shared love of lofidelity/bedroom music. when i met sean i wasnt in a good spot. i dont think he was either. we xchanged #s and talked for a couple of months. some late night phone calls and text messages here and there. i found out he was the little cousin of the vocalist of a very important band in the bedroom scene. what are the odds? he was a very intriguing and interesting dude but most of all he was the sweetest kid. through pixels on a screen and vibrations in my ears, i knew sean was important. 
i wasn't good at keeping tabs on people back then, especially long distance. in march we exchanged some messages but i slacked. i had a lot of things going on, new jobs and relationships, experiences. growing up and out. at some point in the midst of me being a shitty friend, i called him to check in. i saw his phone was deactivated. didnt think too much into and called it a sign from the universe that i shouldn't reach out, i let it be. 
at the end of last year, about a year and a half of not checking in on him, i decided to go online and see how sean was. at that point he would've just graduated highschool and would be on his way to uni. 
when i got to his page i noticed the same post i had seen a year earlier. nothing new posted. when checking the comments, i saw loved ones grieving comments that were left over a year ago, since the last time sean and i had spoke. 
digging deeper, i figured out that sean had passed away march 17th 2021. 4 days after wishing me happy birthday, a week after our last conversation. 
i found his obituary and i found his fathers facebook. i read all of his dads posts from that day, including a post that contained the link to a youtube video memorializing sean's entire life through childhood photos. 

i never knew sean. i didn't get to know him that well with what little time i had and with what little bit i could. but through the tiniest fraction of a person you can perceive through light on a screen, i knew sean was important. i knew he had purpose. and i knew he didn't get the chance he deserved. i have so much love for him and i never knew him. one day i hope to see sean and be able to express gratitude for the emotions we were able to share with one another. this is goodbye for now bakersfield



dust fills my tooth gaps
i always hear it
you say it's bad luck
so why don't i get it?
death separates us
youre here in spirit
you left me on read
when you were near it

for sean, (bakersfield)

Oklou - Ray (youtube) Replayed by majidi and(Rabia) x chief keef - john madden

elliott smith - misery let me down

Recorded in 1997 in College Park, Maryland.
Digitally reconstructed.

elliott smith - misery let me down (mastered)

n0thingbutu

chocolate eyes

paw prints

oliver - respite

tell me what to do
when i get home
all scratched and bruised
i’m licking all my wounds
anything to heal them soon

and i think
when i taste blood
inside my mouth
i feel alive

daylight, night time
what’s the difference now
it all blurs into colors
and words i can’t pronounce
i want to take a different route
but i don’t know how

a dog with blood in its mouth

14 alright

untitled

blondes have more fun

call it karma,,

https://origamiangel.bandcamp.com/track/origami-angel-origami-bagel

here with/ me.

id*a : https://soundcloud.com/i9u/waitin4urcall

me

sami