shoutout @decago n @1altr

every day that passes by
i rly wanna die 
i wanna go 2 sleep forevr i jus wanna cry
ur presense made me feel whole
felt like i could try
n now that ur gone i rly wanna die
restarting my life i wanna fkn damn retry :) 

ik im the problem 
my life that im not solving
counting days till im not here 
cant see myself so clearly
i cant seem 2 escape these problems
i been hiding in the darkness
restarting my life wont solve em 
ik that im the issue- 

i dnt wanna miss u (miss uuu)
i jus wanna kiss u (kiss uuu)
ik im the issue (issue)
crying in my room i miss u

i dnt wanna feel this way jus anymore
i been hating myself 2 the core
i wanna die 
i wanna die baby
i dnt wanna feel my emotions lately
cant keep this 2 myself yeah i cant hide it
evry day that passes by i feel dying
my own life yeah that imma be jus ending
i dnt wanna live this way anymore

itwouldbebetterifiwasdead (decago x altr)

Had so much fun making this track with @ritsuzuki and @reflem!!!

Thanks to @reflem for the mastering on this.

prod. @overoveroverover

Lyrics:

[@drewalongtheglare]
I said it once, and I'll say it again
I never needed your love to begin with
So many things are tryna stop us—we can hold on
And as I’m swimming out the water, feel my heart lock

And I can heal all your scars
I just wanna feel who you are
If you would only give a piece of your heart
There’s like no way we could break apart

And yeah, baby, I think you’ve had enough
We could’ve talked more, but things were said and done
I can breathe enough, I can’t feel a lot
And I could give it my all—it’s always never enough

[@ritsuzuki]
Why are you always like this?
Can't understand it..
What did I do to you??
For you to not see me through..
I can't resist!
You make it look easy
You don't want my heart now..
Why can't you just love me?!

Yeah
I'm falling out..
I'm falling out of time!
I said I'm fine!
You make me wanna cry-y-y
In your arms tonight!
I promise to you baby..
Imma be alright!!

[@reflem]
bby tell me what ur problem is
are we good are we not solving it
like do u even care abt how i feel
all that love i had yeah it wasn't real
ughhh
im gonna leave it right there
like
ughhh
dont go and act like u care
like
ughhh
i woke up feelin nothin
ever since u left i dont wanna try again

Who You Are w/ ritsu & reflem (prod. over)

@1crusafix @bound2return

lyrics:
@vihefoie
i got what you want girl, so dont hide it
covering my face when im around you
cant talk straight when im around you
but i dont mind you

follow your steps get the worst outcome,
i get early to the bread cuz i trust no one
they goin lie to your face tell you "i dont know none"
they goin leave you in the dirt, till youre fuckin broken

into pieces, itching on your arms, girl you need it
roll another blunt, been too long, girl im fiending
you got 20/20 vision but you still dont see it
bottling my feelings its just spring time cleaning

get the bag imma flip it
pop a vyvanse in the car, im addicted
you goin try hard but i know im gonna win it
know im next up, they dont know im fucking gifted x2

@1crusafix
foot up on the gas and u know im fucking speeding
yea i got that bag from margiela cause i need it
keep on poppin thrax yea i think im seeing demons
and u hurt me bad but i dont think that im bleeding

and it hurts so bad but ill get over it
if u came right back i would do it all again
if he talking on the team then we taking off his legs
bitch im never switching up cause im sticking to the set

gifted w/ crusafix prod advxrse

Special thanks: 
- Instrumental by @rewind214 & @pico-13910899
- Mastering by @soreu_u

A thousand things I can’t convey
There’s so much on mind to say
Won’t you wait... won’t you stay...
Won’t you stay?

The silence I know more each day
Your voice lingers on when I pray
Wide awake, how I lay,
You’re the one,
I crave

Time flew past,
And the tides started turning
Living life fast,
But at night I’m yearning,
Yearning to see you again,
I’m hurting
Knowing I can’t be right there,
I’m certain

I know you’ve moved on
I’m in a city that I hate,
It feels too wrong
Living life estranged for way too long
Yeah I’ve got no place where I belong, no

I want you by my side,
You in my life
For you, I would die
Baby, that’s no lie


a thousand things i cant convey (rewind + pico)

@moz-103259352
@yashio20k

I just want to say, if it weren't for moz, I probably wouldn't be releasing any music. Luv u man<3

(Don’t push me away
Could you please listen to the things I have to say?
We stopped seeing eye to eye
I still couldn’t say goodbye
Tell me that I matter, baby, even if you have to lie)

You’ve been stuck inside my brain,
I’m not sure whether that’s alright
You drive me insane,
Guess I’m chasing down the wrong highs
Need you here with me,
I don’t care if this is all a lie
If heaven has a fee,
Then for you I would pay the price

But you wouldn’t do the same,
I know, and that’s fine
Even if you don’t change,
I’ll follow, stay by your side
Just look at me the same,
Could forever stare at your eyes
No matter the pain,
I’ll pretend that it feels right

I could spend forever looking into your eyes,
I could live forever if it is by your side
So don’t push me away
I don’t know if I could handle that 
Please stay
For you I would go to hell and back

I thought we had things figured out
Trusted each other and pushed our doubts
Pushed them to the side,
But seeing eye to eye,
It wasn’t nearly as easy as we had in mind

if u read these lol ur awesome ^_^

don't push me away (moz + yashio)

prod.
@jichuuu

notes:
old me is needed, w/ @jichuuu
we locked.

//

[shiro]
lately ive been stuck,
tryna figure out what i did was enough yh
did u say i did enough?
but it seems like u the one thats been caring bout urself now

like i dont get u, leave me for the next u
waste my time, n act like whos the one that really hurt u
like woah, did you really mean those things that u said to me?
or am i js somebody that u dumped so easily?
like what u doin bae,
please js tell me that its a dream
yh im stuck, but ive never been so down, so miserably
u were passed around, acting like u was the referee
but in the end, im the one who wasnt mean to be

(i wasnt meant to be,
i was thinkin back like that you wanted me
but i know thats not true,
no its not true)

like what did i do,
to deserve all of this, 
2x
i never meant to love u, but u kno how it is
but it hurt so bad i wish i never did yh

[hook]

//

wasn't meant to be『jichu』

tysm @4aia for hopping on yayayaya
prod me

hihi what's up muaheheh iii eerm actually don't know what to say this time just listen i guess tyty <3

beat breakdown (emotional); https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mxo3KpSN_1A
spotify; https://open.spotify.com/album/66vzr64dUvUunDAA0lEq02?si=YkjRZlaVRoyyfI-5sFXCRA

linktr.ee/pawprinted
♡♡

he plays with a loaded gun
stuck in his bedroom alone
he can't let himself know love
or else he'll get too attached to it

all the wasted time, oh dear, it haunts him
he lets it eat him up inside until it rots him

he just worries and worries like everyday
what if this happens or that happens?
he can't help but think

and as the sun sets low
he's left alone with his thoughts
and that's a fate that's worse than death

so he stumbles all over his words
can't make up his mind
if this is really best for him

he feels lost, so unloved
but he'll conform to the people 
the people who were supposed to care

but they didn't
so he has to restart all from scratch
from nothing
safe for a few scars
he just wishes that he could be in her arms

@4aia
oh his chest feels so tight
ah and theres this aching within
it feels like hes living life in somebody elses skin
he gave his all to be seen yea
and now its on loop in his head
hes stuck reliving this thought
why is it so hard to forget?

scrolling- 
scrolling thru old texts on his phone
just so he might feel a little less alone 
its the weight of love he cant forget
and just like every other night
he wept

@pawprinted
he plays with a loaded gun
stuck in his bedroom alone
he can't let himself know love
or else he'll get too attached to it

all the wasted time, oh dear, it haunts him
he lets it eat him up inside until it rots him

he just worries and worries like everyday
what if this happens or that happens?
he can't help but think

and as the sun sets low
he's left alone with his thoughts
and that's a fate that's worse than death

so he stumbles all over his words
can't make up his mind
if this is really best for him

he feels lost, so unloved
but he'll conform to the people 
the people who were supposed to care

but they didn't
so he has to restart all from scratch
from nothing
safe for a few scars
he just wishes that he could be in her arms

all i want is someone that understands me
but clearly
that's not you  
that's not you

did you ever feel that sting of guilt? not once?
i should have known
that you'd use me
throw me away in the trash

just forget about me

understand w/ kaia

produced by me and @cr1siss + @rxtrx
much love to them 
inspo from @trustt
https://open.spotify.com/track/4xPVcsNXNRyC6pN3xoCtty?si=cf5c44bf62fb4c88

trynna call my phone i wont pick up
all those words you said still get mixed up
im still lookin for my fix yuh
they were never real
like damn that shit sucks

i, dont wanna cry if you'll see it 
say, that you miss me you dont mean it
fall, is my favorite time of season
now, now i hate it and ur the reason

-

and the days been gettin colder
i said im tired and i told her
i need some help i need some closure
it'll never be the same since october
october october
since october
getting colder
i said im tired and i told her

-

i dont know what i want
but im missing something
what did i do wrong?
but cant i feel nothing
(x2)