"I'm a shaving cream clown on those razor blade days" (words are fun)

Where Oh Where

From the 2003 album, Omnium, featuring a slightly audible Lucy sneeze in the bridge, and a background vocal on the last verse inspired by Devin howling like a wolf in the song's first draft. 

Time Will Come Around

Recorded in the foggy mists of time, Media PA.

Does Your Monster Bite? (Side B)

Diamond Joe

Disclaimer: this thing is confusing--at times righteously angry and at times righteously sarcastic. Definitely hear this with a second vocal and a full band, either way.

Stacy Esch's Album

Aint No Excuse

Not meant to be a solo song, but sometimes you just have to.

Stacy's Garage

Beware Of Darkness

Sometimes the ideals you aspire to go up in flames all around you, it can be hard to find yourself. The pain you feel seems insignificant but it adds up. Pretty soon you give up on those ideals, you give up on yourself. But instead of giving up, reach for the morning light. 

Can’t Find Myself (1992)

You know I’ve been wanting more
If I stay here any longer I will drown for sure
I may be wasting all my time
I may be searching for something I will never find
But I can’t find myself
Can’t find myself

I look around me I see so much pain
It’s just ordinary stuff but it still hurts the same
It’s just the season’s fading flowers
I’m spending all my minutes killing hours
I can’t be wasting all my time
I can’t be searching for something I may never find
But I can’t find myself 
Can’t find myself

You know that I’m hung up on fairness and freedom
I keep believing these ideas and I feed ‘em
But this is not the time to breathe ‘em
This daily push and pull says, just go on and leave ‘em
I can’t be wasting all my time
Can’t be too hung up on these ideas as they die
But I can’t find myself
Can’t find myself

If only light would spring out of the dark
I’m willing I’m waiting to understand this part
I’d like to see you in that morning light
When everything would finally seem all right
I may be wasting all my time 
I may be searching for something I will never find
But I can’t find myself
Can’t find myself

I can’t find myself
Can’t find myself

Citizens Project

Can't Find Myself

When you have to leave your home and it's a long road and there's nowhere to go, nowhere to return to. 

Recorded in 1993, Media, PA

Two Blue Moons - mp3

It's a Long Road

A track from the long ago (1991), legendary album, Meet the Gods. Frumpsters and Repugnants, it's time to say bye, bye.

Meet the Gods

Bye, Bye

Acoustic track from the early 90's whose rage strikes me as pretty relevant today.

Black Box

Fall Down

Reaching for just that right word...

"You say you know the way to that sweet spot
High above these depredated streets and this mind rot."
(c) 1997, Kirkwood

Parallel Lives - mp3

Dancin' on Heaven's Balcony

Check out my band, Breakthrough Shine, here or wherever you stream your music 🤗