This is an original cover I made of a Christmas classic. Enjoy!

Lyrics:
Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on all our troubles will out of sight. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the yuletide gay. From now on our troubles will be miles away. Here we are, as in olden days; happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more. Through the years we all will be together if the fates allow, hang a shining star upon the highest bow. So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (bonus xmas song yay!)

This song is about moving on and looking back at the people and events in your life that helped you get to where you are, for better or worse.

Lyrics:
And you feel like something else. Try hard to figure out what you’re missing and I’ll take you as you are. But, don’t string me up across the ceiling. I’m finally able to connect like you. This time I’ll be able to make it through. Thanks to you and everybody else standing here in this room. Thanks to all my friends: the naked and the famous. It’s nice to know I got something to hold on to. I’m nothing but my best for you. At least I try to be. Sometimes I’m not so lucky. But, when I fail I see you there. The sunshine on your blackened hair and the smile on your face. They’re what’s at stake. I can’t be so afraid of what comes next. I won’t wait for the fall to throw away these nasty cigarettes. Please don’t worry, mom, at all. I will find my way. It’s eventual; won’t find myself at a funeral. That’s not the son you want. It’s not the song you’re gonna get. I’m trying to forget the past, all the mistakes that lead me to this place. And it’s not so hard to take. I’m picking myself up off the ground. I’m barely breathing, skinned knees bleeding. I’m shaking off these demons they carried me down. I'm picking myself up off the ground. I'm barely breathing, skinned knees bleeding. I'm shaking off the demons, they carried me. They carried me. Carried me. Please take me home. Please take me. Oh, please take me home. Please take me.      

what comes next (demo)

Simple Introduction is the first track of the Lost at Sea EP, my debut EP. Recorded in a studio in Hudson, Fl with the help of a professional, this track features multiple layers of guitar, vocals, and additional instruments. 

Lyrics:
I'm faded. Sedated. I hate it, but I can't shake it. Oh please take me home. (I tried to fight it. I can't deny it. Now I'm lying here alone on the frozen ground. Stood in our circle; we sang for no good reason except to feel something. I wanna feel something.)

Simple Introduction

Lyrics:

Slowly sinking my teeth into the fabrications you provide for me. It's true you can't even see anymore, but I confide in you. My secrets they are yours. I'll set fire to my thoughts. Let the smoke fill up my lungs if that's what it'll take to show you I mean what I say. This is our day. It's not too late to leave the world behind us. I know exactly who we are. What will it take? What's left to say? To all my friends who left me: you'll be forgotten on the way. You lied for the last time. I'll die and apologize. I bet you wouldn't even notice. I bet you wouldn't even care. And what's so wrong with wanting to be a better man. You couldn't help me so you ran. I'll stay away from the bullshit that you made. Cut all the ties. Get ready for a fight. There was no compromise; no fire in her eyes. Nothing left to say. There's got to be a better way. But just hold on. Don't wait too long. You can't run forever.

The Great Escape

The Man I Never Wanted To Be

It's easier to carry on like someone else when trying hard gets me nowhere. I'm giving up. To be alone is scarier than death itself, but giving in is not an option for me anymore. Can I pretend it's all a dream? Then wake me up. This nightmare's unbearable. I'm drowning. Sick. Take it all and down to my knees I fall. I'm turning it inside out, this life that I once thought to know. I'm giving up all my control. Play it over inside my head to acknowledge the man I never wanted to be. I swear to not forget how I felt when I couldn't let go of the pain. Won't let it grow into something that pushes away all the friends I could have made. Play it over. Sun bleached blood runs through my veins head to toe. Never thought I'd find the worst parts of me underneath the snowy banks in the group's parking lot. I dug them up to piece them all together to build an old picture of who I used to be. Can I pretend it's all a dream? This can't be the end. I'm not who I want to be. We try our best not to see. If you'd give me a chance I'd be. Had a dream last night we drove out west to the Rockies. I stood looking over the edge. You pushed me off. As I fell you said, "life's too short to dwell on who you've been. Please come back to me. Please go back to the way you were when we first met. You said you'd try anything and everything you could to make this work." I'm waking up in my bed in a cold sweat. These tears and the fears got me nothing but misery. But, happiness, I confess, don't come easy. Sometimes I can't decide if I'd rather be lonely. But, I won't quit on you again. I swear on my life I will try to do better. I swear it.

The Man I Never Wanted To Be

A Year Without

I finally dug them up, my old bones to kill the pain. I built them into a frame with some string and glue. As it hangs on the wall I stare off and contemplate of who I still want to be based on who I was then. A hand me down past, large shirts I'd never grow into. Two parents who lacked the water for their buds to bloom. Woah. One day I heard you say, "who are you? You're not the same as the man I first met in TPA International." Well, no, you're right I may be different in many ways, but I still love you the same and I always will. These hand me down fears and failures take turns swinging at my veins. And over the year I found that there's much more that I can take. It's in your eyes. I don't struggle to find my sense of pride. This doubt subsides and I'm free to try my past mistakes a second time. Standing inside of the lake the water rose to my face. Instead of drowning it's fate I grabbed onto the sober days I collected in fear. In the wake of bad news and solitudes I found my isolation break. I am helpless in many ways except I'm trying to make a change.

A Year Without (demo)

Bled Black

In the shadow of the house I had dug the grave where I'd lay my head to pray. I know I'm better off this way because I'm selfish. An accident with nothing left to salvage. This mask I wear, it holds me fast. Behind these blue eyes I swear anything could hide. (And it's a shame because I know) it lacks all happiness and fact. As I'm cursing at the sky I'm left to wonder why. (So hear me know you need to know) that I guess honesty is just a little hard for me. So now I know what you meant when you said you'd stand by me a year ago. It wasn't the first time you said it. (It wasn't the first. You meant it.) You would be known for all the times we sat by the road and for the first time in months I chose this new life I made over my past mistakes. And I'm messed up and twisted up and this honesty's still hard for me, but I got to let it go. And I guess I'll let it mend so I can feel at home again. In my head I regret all the still points in time, their homestead. Please help me slow it down. Behind this mask I'm suffocating fast. Behind these blue eyes I swear I wanna see the sunshine. (It comes on fast but it won't go.) Bled black four months. No holding back because it's all or nothing. It's life or death tonight. (Give it my all and spill my guts) inside the room tonight because I got you by my side.

Bled Black (demo)

The final version of Simple Introduction.

Lyrics:
I'm faded; sedated. I hate it. But I can't shake it. Oh, please take me home.
(I tried to fight it. I can't deny it. Now I'm lying here alone on the frozen ground. Stood in our circle we sang for no good reason, except to feel something. I want to feel something)

At the Bottom of the Well

Lyrics:
Lying awake. No, I can't sleep. No, I can't shake the pain. It's still the same and you promised me this time that it would be different. Can you say you didn't fuck up? That it will be alright? Can you say that you fucked up and left me this empty to be nobody? So I lost. Inside I'm dying. Nail me up with no second coming. If you say you didn't fuck up then I won't waste my time. If you say that you fucked up I'll move on and write you out of my life. God I've tried. I'm trying hard to conceal this: my Van Gogh affliction. Depressed and overly anxious, another grim depiction. Did you find the distance you never wanted between us? Because you left and left me on my own. When you said get out of this empty house. We'd fight like every single day. I started to like the pain.

At the Bottom of the Well

The Beginning is based on a quote from Vincent Van Gogh on mental illness: "One feels as if one were lying bound hand and foot at the bottom of a deep dark well, utterly helpless."

At the bottom of the well we are encompassed in darkness. 
We see no hope in escaping 
and resign to feeling helpless. 
At the bottom of the well we are cold and wet and scared 
and wish the water were deeper 
so we could finally fall underneath sleep's never-ending clutches. 
At the bottom of the well there is a mirror. 
The water reflects on our lives 
and we experience our deepest fears. 
At the bottom of the well we are lonely. 
At the bottom of the well we are hungry. 
At the bottom of the well we are encased in quiet. 
At the bottom of the well we are at our bottom. 
At the bottom of the well there is nothing. 
There is no water, 
no dirt, 
no light, 
no stone, 
no sun, 
no air. 
At the bottom of the well we cannot breathe, 
we we cannot see, 
we cannot think, 
we cannot be at the bottom of the well. 
We cannot live at the bottom of the well. 
We cannot create at the bottom of the well. 
We cannot sing, we cannot dream, we cannot believe. 
We cannot love at the bottom of the well. 
We will not live at the bottom of the well, 
so we open our eyes and we open our minds to the idea 
that our lives are not defined by the bottom of the well. 
Suddenly we realized that the bottom of our well was not as deep as we once thought. 
In fact, the bottom of our well was the beginning of our new lives. 
We needed not to crawl out, but to accept that there was a better way; that our well wasn't a well at all. 
At the bottom of the well I am born again 
like a captain out at sea. 
My well is gone. 
I am free. 
Free of self-hate and loathing where I've been 
and who I might be 
if I never lifted the curtain of this depression. 
Let me be better that I was, 
better than I've ever been. 
Let me see how I can help someone else out of the bottom of their well. At the bottom of the well I have found my foundation.

The Beginning

Lyrics:
When all that you got is all that you wanted,
Don't walk a mile of my steps
You don't want to break like I did.
To love yourself before anyone or
anything,
A task I've yet to master.
I'm made from rock and plaster
So don't tear me down
Or punch a hole in my chest
When you say that you hate when I'm around.
I'm trying to make sense of this
Without leaving it
Or burning all these bridges that connect the dots
Between love and action.
Am I just lost or in a temporary state of non-meaning?
Am I just lost or is this living?
If it is I'm leaving without you.
My calloused-fingered hands are cutting out your trenches
Like phonographic maps that I can't have.
A fantasized romance.
I'm sitting on the bleachers
Begging not to be picked last.
So here I am.
Your move.
Think fast.

untitled

Just a guy making sonic sundaes for your ears to enjoy.

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