I've recently been struggling to complete my queued up steampunk ideas, but here's something that came together in a day. Sometimes you just gotta have a change. I see it as a sort of soundtrack to isolation in space, or maybe as the theme music for a nordic crime procedural or something.

Like all my instrumental pieces, please feel free to use in suitable projects, but, please tell me if you do and credit me. (Also, if you make money doing it... I like money... just saying).

Space And Time

Space And Time [Instrumental]

Welcome Gentlemen and Gentleladies to the club of the Empire, as we present to you the first of our series of disquisions on various engaging and important topics. Tonight's topic is a complete guide to England, presented by Steam Captain Carter for your pleasure. Please give him a warm welcome and ensure you do not call out while the lecture is in progress as loud ejaculations will cause a disturbance.


Song partly inspired by exurb1a's video on England (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KySFp0w7-hE) and Elemental's song "I'm British". I wanted to do a tongue in cheek guide to England, exagerating all the stereotypes to a ridiculous degree. I find it amusing the misconceptions of my American friends about us and our lovely lovely ways. It's a bit unusual, but I very much hope you enjoy it.

An interesting and informative dissertation about England.

An Interesting and Informative Dissertation About England.

Mr Brunel was a clever chap
Making his bridges and steamships and that
In a journal made by his wife 
We found he was living a double life

Mr. Brunel Hunted the restless undead
Mr. Brunel Shot the demons in the head

While building under the river thames
He discovered an enclave of vile half men
Cocking his steam powered gun
He blasted the devils before they could run

Mr. Brunel Hunted the restless undead
Mr. Brunel Shot the demons in the head


Brunel died 1843
It's commonly said it was brights disease
The truth of the matter is plain to see
He was killed in a battle with necromancy

Mr. Brunel Hunted the restless undead
Mr. Brunel Shot the demons in the head

Mr. Brunel

Mr Brunel

A handy corporate induction guide:

Oh welcome to our enterprise
I'll take you through induction
This job will thrill you and surprise
Don't be nervous

Oh we're a family enterprise
Established in the 18th Century
Now let us cast your eyes
Over this form

Sign this waiver here
Then you'll meet your team
John here will grant your gear
Be sure to keep it clean

The waiver protects us both
If matters go awry
In the event of your demise
Your wife and kids are fine


Let me tell you about the role
You'll perform a special function
Tasks will appear in the cubbyhole
Then your work will start

A client needs our special help
And we shall solve their problem
We eliminate the issue well
And permanently

Welcome to the family
The company shall provide
Welcome to the ministry
Someones going to die

Welcome to the family
Our murders are sublime
Here in the ministry
The pension plan is fine


We have a new job waiting here
Some poor chap is due erasure
Unload your conscience, load your gear
I'm sure they aren't nice 

Every human has to die
We just speed up the process
So we shall have to take some lives
Work till they bleed

Welcome to the family
The company shall provide
Welcome to the ministry
Someones going to die

Welcome to the family
The pension plan is fine
Here in the ministry
Our murders are sublime


Won't you have a cup of tea
Milk and sugar comes as standard
Then someone needs to cease to be
It shall be rectified

Our contracts come from far and wide
Via the Lord Chamberlain
But we won't do a genocide
We are artisans

Welcome to the family
The company shall provide
Welcome to the ministry
Someones going to die

Welcome to the family
The pension plan is fine
Here in the ministry
Our murders are sublime

Welcome To The Family

The Vagabond

A dark cautionary tale of human hubris, illegal experimentation and knees. And a goose. There's a goose in it.

Revised and re-written version from the one I had before, so much changed it's a new song.

Party Like It Is 1889

Beware Of The Goose

A cover of @LawyerOnTheLoose brilliant song The Masquerade - An Original Fairground Barker's Chant (https://soundcloud.com/lawyerontheloose/the-masquerade-an-original-fairground-barkers-chant). I've tried to add my own take on the song, and modified here and there.

The Masquerade

Caught outside I spot something hopeful. The spectre of isolation and loneliness and being seperated from those you love. I wonder where that comes from...?

The Flower In The Junkyard

Greetings fellow steam explorers from the Airship! A new tale of hubris and woe.

Sorry that I have been away a little, but I've been working on multiple tracks and trying to get these right. There will be another to follow in quick succession, but, it's slightly different from my usual style so you may consider that a bonus track if I finish and release it.

Anyway, I hope you appreciate my little tale!

Much love to all.

In His Dark Basement

My attempt at a classical piece... I've been trying for a while to find some vocals then I decided it works without vocals and let it be and just finished it. It feels more like a Halloween piece than a New Year piece, but hey.

Others are free to use this song. If you want to use this song in something, please do, but credit me and maybe drop a few coins my way if you make money.

Farewell Dr. Burton

Farewell Dr Burton [Instrumental]

*EXPLICIT CONTENT THROUGHOUT*
A bit of a departure from my normal output, so please think of this as like... a bonus piece. I wanted to try my hand at some Blues and I had this little poem I wrote about... well... swear words appear throughout.
Proud of it? Proud is not exactly the right word... :-)

*&%$ gets in your eyes [Non-steampunk]

#*&% Gets In Your Eyes

My cover of "You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two" by Lionel Bart, from the musical Oliver! I have new songs coming soon, I promise!

You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two

No honour amongst thieves...

Lyrics:

Plymouth docks was cold and rainswept, stood in solitude
With the case of stolen diamonds and a little food
I smoked my pipe and got to thinking
To the nights we all spent drinking
Then to the plans I made
And how I'd make you pay

We were just a band of scoundrels planning something new
Your uncle was a gentleman, I thought that I loved you
You told me no, when I pleaded,
But for this to work my skills were needed
So I formed a plot
To make off with the lot

By the time you read this missive, I'll be far away
When your uncle killed the guardsman, I knew I couldn't stay
You'll get this note, as you're waking
The hideout will then start shaking
As the law descends
Oh, we're no longer friends

Adieu et toi, pretty england, bonjour to le monde
I'll fence the gems to a Belgian tinker for some shiny bonds 
Our friendship has it's final curtain
I feel a tinge, this is certain
Briefly I'll feel blue
As I say to you,  adieu

Adieu à toi, Pretty England

*The Steamship Sails Again.*

A series of experiments in steampunk music, covering the fall of humanity, hubris, scientific malpractice, victoriana and the long dark tea time of the soul. Influences: Tom Waits, Nick Cave, Ben Caplan, The Dresden Dolls, Kaizers Orchestra, Gogol Bordello and Leningrad.

Steam Captain Carter

Popular tracks