Made in about 3+- hours from scratch. Solo.

E'V'il inc 2.0 DMCA FREE EVIL inc ai generated

THE PHOTOCOPIER LICH
(Undead Office Equipment with a Vengeance)

Role: IT Department/Knowledge Reanimator
Employee ID: #666-COPIER
Last Maintenance: Never

Appearance:
A mummified Xerox machine with glowing "Toner Low" eyes
Paper tray lined with the skins of forgotten memos
Exhales clouds of cursed glitter (labeled "Secure Document Confetti")

Xerox Lullaby (Toner-Stained Noon)

THE STAMP GHOUL
(The Ravenous Rubber-Stamp Horror of Floor 13½)

Role: Quality Control / Reality Notary
Employee ID: #REDACTED-BY-TEETH

Appearance:
A sentient rubber stamp with rows of jagged teeth where the ink pad should be
Body made of congealed approval forms (constantly dripping red tape)
Eyes: Two spinning "APPROVED/DENIED" wheels that never align

Notarized Nightmares (Ink-Stained Teeth)

THE CHAIRMAN OF THE VOID
(The Silent Partner in Cosmic Bureaucracy)

Role: Shadow Executive / Unseen Authority
Employee ID: [REDACTED BY OWNER]
Office Location: The space between filing cabinets

Appearance:
An empty three-piece suit that billows without wind
Tie knot contains a miniature event horizon
Gloves that leave negative-space fingerprints on every document
Face: A floating "PLEASE LEAVE MESSAGE" sticky note

The Silent Partner's Sonata (Empty Suit Nocturne)

TEAM V (The Protocol's Cosmic Consultant)

Role: Interdimensional Efficiency Auditor / Chaos Theorist
Employee ID: #V-Protocol-Ø (Classified: "ConsultantiquitDominates the bridge with glitching elevator-music-turned-dubstep
Backing vocals: A choir of clipped corporate jargon ("Synergy! Paradigm! Leverage!") autotuned to a haunting minor key


The Protocol Paradox (A Consultant's Crescendo)

THE INTERN BLACK HOLE
(The Cosmic Office's Hungriest Junior Employee)

Role: Celestial Janitor/File Disposal Unit
Pay Grade: Unpaid/College Credit

Appearance:
A swirling event horizon in business casual (clip-on tie dangling in the accretion disk)
"HELLO MY NAME IS:" sticker half-consumed by singularity
Briefcase made of compressed resignation letters


Singularity Blues (Unpaid Event Horizon)

THE OFFICIAL PROFILE
(A sentient, cosmic HR document—the embodiment of paperwork itself)

The Bureaucratic Ballet (In Triplicate)

THE OVERTIME REAPER
(HR's Cosmic Enforcer of Broken Clocks and Shattered Pensions)

OFFICIAL PROFILE
Role: Soul-Crushing Timekeeper / Union Buster
Appearance:
A skeletal figure in a coffee-stained suit, with wristwatch veins pumping espresso

Briefcase handcuffed to wrist containing:
401(k) forms that dissolve at midnight
A punch clock that ticks backward
The last scream of every burnt-out intern
Eyes: Two flickering "OUT OF ORDER" signs

Timecard Requiem (Overtime Never Sleeps) (1)

#2 - THE ETERNAL CONTENDER
(The Quantum Clerk Who Files Reality Into Chaos)

OFFICIAL PROFILE
Role: Cosmic Compliance Officer / #1's Arch-Nemesis

Appearance:
55 smirking faces floating around a single quill (each face recites a different regulation)
Wrists wrapped in red tape that unravels into wormholes
Shoes made of correction fluid that erases #1's footprints

Loophole Lullaby (The Contender's Refrain)

#1 - THE SUPREME RANKING OFFICER
(The Divine Bureaucrat Who Stamps Reality Into Existence)

OFFICIAL PROFILE
Role: Cosmic Head of Operations

Appearance:
A floating crown of burning spreadsheets (each cell contains a screaming galaxy)
Right hand permanently fused to the "TOP TIER" reality-altering stamp
Left hand perpetually signing forms in blood-ink

E'V'il inc 2.0 DMCA FREE EVIL inc ai generated

The Solar Coalition