Sleep Waves

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The Soothing Static

Static Dreamscape

Occasionally I ask myself why is it that I feel so lost.
And I begin to fall back down the rabbit hole that is my past.
A swirling fog of entropy fights hard to obfuscate my goal.
Fed each moment by the blackness that affects my mortal soul.

I briefly see my past arrayed, laid out like a mutated river.
It begins to bother me and I worry at it like a sliver.
I briefly glimpse a feeling lost, an emotional I no longer have.
I see a way to get back there and set my boots upon the path.

This all happens within a moment.
A pause in the endless war within my psyche.
It all comes crashing down
“I wonder why anyone would choose to like me.”

The haze settles back around me with all the comfort of a coffin.
And I slip back into the mood that afflicts me far to often.
All thought of self improvement flees from me like a startled horse.
And I take my boots back off of that new and oh so hopeful course.

How dare I try to elevate my life, all that I deserve is strife.
All I need is loneliness, I cannot fix me, I cannot become well.
Repeated mantras course through my head and I settle back into my comfortable hell.
Odd that I fight so hard against any positive change and yet I allow all temptation to further derange.

I hope one day to escape my prison, of which I am both guard and inmate.

Sorry for taking up your time, I truly hope you can't relate.

should I just...

Delivery 2 20 bpm 12725 take 1

Static Dreamscape

Stefan Zintel

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