EVERYTHING

this is my midterm

All Dressed Up With Nowhere To Go

written by ethan ayer and performed by yours truly

God Ethans Song Stellas Version

Grip (Demo)

White Water Rapids

Produced by Stella Smyth and Mathew Engst

Your heart is a flower blooming in the winter
You stood through everything alone

And just like that you were gone
And you got carried away cause you weren’t strong 
I tried to catch all the falling petals mid air
But every time I opened my eyes, the snow gave me that menacing glare 

Your heart is a flower blooming in the winter
Now that I have you, I can’t let you out of my sight

And just like that you were gone
And you got carried away cause you weren’t strong 
I tried to catch all the falling petals mid air
But every time I opened my eyes, the snow gave me that menacing glare 

Your heart is a flower blooming in the winter
I’ll love you even if it makes me numb
Your heart is a flower blooming in the winter
I’ll give up anything to have one

Winter

Produced by Stella Smyth and Mathew Engst
Photo from Tumblr

Your eyes have been turning away from mine
Your phone gets them instead
We used to smile all the time 
Now your scowl shuts me down instead

Now you won’t ever call
Why do you lie about the little things
You know they hurt me more anything

Now I’m staring at these walls
It’s better than waiting for your calls 
Cause I know they will never come

And oh, lets let go
If we hold on any longer
We’ll drown in endless waters

And oh, we both know
We won’t float much longer
We’ll drown in endless waters

Your eyes have been turning away from mine
She has them instead
But I won’t say anything this time
Cause I know I’ll mess things up again 

Now you won’t ever call
Why do you lie about the little things
You know they hurt me more anything

Now I’m staring at these walls
It’s better than waiting for your calls 
Cause I know they will never come

And oh, lets let go
If we hold on any longer
We’ll drown in endless waters

And oh, we both know
We won’t float much longer
We’ll drown in endless waters

Oh please, please

endless waters

Co-produced with Matthew Engst
Photo from Tumblr

I’m out of my mind
I’m lost without sight
He thinks I’m alright, he thinks i’m alright 

I push like the tides
My words aren’t mine
He thinks I’m alright, he’s out of his mind

People tell me what to do, what to say
But tonight, not alright
I’ll close my eyes and ride this one out

Feeling guilty all before this begun
So tonight is my night, I’m a light 
Don’t let me burn out 

I see myself burning, I see myself burning
My mind is all yours, I don’t want it no more

I can’t seem to cry
My eyes stay so dry
He thinks I’m alright, I’m out of my mind

People tell me what to do, what to say
But tonight, not alright
I’ll close my eyes and ride this one out

Feeling guilty all before this begun
So tonight is my night, I’m a light 
Don’t let me burn out 

I see myself burning, I see myself burning
My mind is all yours, I don’t want it no more

I see myself burning, the flames and smoke rising 
My mind is all yours, I don’t want it no more 

People tell me what to do, what to say
Feeling guilty all before this begun
People tell me what to do, what to say
I’ll close my eyes and ride this one out 

People tell me what to do, what to say
I see, I see, I see
People tell me what to do, what to say
But tonight, not alright
Tonight is my night

my mind is all yours

Co-produced by Stella Smyth and Matthew Engst
Photo from Tumblr

You love to lie -  I never fight 
A secret spills in plain sight
No wonder I am so blind
You love me like you’re gonna die

Another world, another home
Body is stone, my mind is cold
A mountain side is set on fire
By lovers who destroy each other

Chains wishing that I would give in
Hate the lovely surrender that wins

It’s all too real
I can’t feel
A god damn thing tonight

And after a year
Still haven’t healed
I never learned to read between the lines

A silver lock around your neck
It’s keeping time out of our heads
And in your hands, there I am 
A dripping chain, holding her breath

A lover’s lie, I say I’m fine
You never look me in my eye
The weakest link, it’s not for long
You say it hurts to keep it on

Chains wishing that I would give in
Hate the lovely surrender that wins

It’s all too real
I can’t feel
A god damn thing tonight

And after a year
Still haven’t healed
I never learned to read between the lines

So keep me on for a little longer
And don’t you ever think about this sober
Cause I can only hold on for a little longer
So keep that in mind when you tell me you love her

chains

Co-produced with Matthew Engst
Co-written with Sophie Smyth

I watch your chest fall and rise
This bed goes on for miles
And you’re an old friend of mine
So why am I so surprised?

I paint you like the sky
Dark clouds are left and right
Wind picks up the words from
The tip my tongue, damn, my thoughts are going numb

This moment here’s so divine
I guess I don’t know time
Your hand so warm to my high
I hope you’re only touching mine

Fingers down your spine
Your scars remind me of mine
They say the eyes never lie, 
Is that why you look away sometimes?
Yeah, you look away sometimes

I’m loosing feeling
I should be healing

NUMB

i lose my mind when i can't see you
and those voices, do they warn you?
do you see the things that i do?
a bloody murder that i live through
i live through

may we meet again
in another life
and maybe 
you'll love me this time

may we meet again
under purple skies
and maybe
you'll love me this time

i run from time i have a curfew
but in the tears i think i lost you
and i stare you right in the eye, you do too
and i'll scream til i loose my voice, i'm no use
i'm no use

may we meet again
in another life
and maybe 
you'll love me this time

may we meet again
under purple skies
and maybe
you'll love me this time
this time

and i can't not say that it's over, it's over
cause if i ain't got you now then i'm older, i'm older
and those pretty girls have never suffered, suffered
like i do
every time i loose you
i lose you
i lose you

may we meet again
in another life
and maybe 
you'll love me this time

may we meet again
under purple skies
and maybe
you'll love me this time
this time

May We Meet Again (stripped)

Written by Stella Smyth and Nick Long
Produced by Stella Smyth

I can hear you coming from a mile away
With your gold heart and your cold chains
They weigh you down but you won't say

House up on the hill but it's a lonely place
You can't hide so you don't stay
You can't lie, say it's okay

Blacked out in your black car
Pass out in the backyard
Say it's just one of those days

I'm the one you can't lie to 
Even though you try to
I know

It's crushing your American Spirit
Already given up and you're so young
It's crushing your American Spirit
But maybe you just want to be broken
Like a black soft pack in your back pocket
You forgot that it was there, then you sat down on it
Can you feel it?
Crushing your American Spirit?

Looks like you could use a little beauty sleep
Haven't been home in a few weeks
You talk shit so we don't speak

You turn into a stranger right in front of me
You can't find who you can't see
I still try but it haunts me

Blacked out in your black car
Pass out in the backyard
Say it's just one of those days

I'm the one you can't lie to 
Even though you try to
I know

It's crushing your American Spirit
Already given up and you're so young
It's crushing your American Spirit
But maybe you just want to be broken
Like a black soft pack in your back pocket
You forgot that it was there, then you sat down on it
Can you feel it?
Crushing your American Spirit?

Cartier and fentanyl 
West LA will write your will
Cartier and fentanyl 
West LA will write your will

It's crushing your American Spirit
Already given up and you're so young
It's crushing your American Spirit
But maybe you just want to be broken
Like a black soft pack in your back pocket
You forgot that it was there, then you sat down on it
Can you feel it?
Crushing your American Spirit?

stella smyth

Pinned to spotlight

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