To the Beat of My Heart

To the Beat of My Heart (Acoustic)

What The Future Holds

The Slightest Touch (Live)

Something In Your Eyes (Live)

Unlove

It's a spiritual, bass-and-drum-driven journey into the aftermath of childhood trauma. Using the powerful metaphor of a frantic black horse—representing both the ingrained flight response and the yearning for autonomy—the song traces the struggle of an adult self trying to calm the internal storms of the past. It's a sonic exploration of moving from fear to integration, from being chased by panic to learning to ride your own strength. This piece is for anyone who has ever felt a ghost running in their veins, and is learning to whisper, "We are safe now."

Lyrics

The hooves... I can hear them in my dreams. 
A rhythm from a forgotten year.

The dirt is flying where the wild things run
A silhouette against the rising sun
It's pounding in my chest, a borrowed fear
A program written in a yester-year
I feel the tremor in the ground below
A panic seed that you forced me to sow
(And it grows) Oh, it grows

Black horse, black horse, running through the night
Carrying the shadows, fleeing from the light
I just wanna pull your reins and (stop) your desperate flight
Or leap upon your back and vanish from this life
My shadow steed, my phantom, my disease

(Stop running, stop running...) 
I'm trying to catch you, please.

Autonomy has four legs and a wild heart. 
But so does the terror. 
They're the same animal.

The child's room is silent, worlds away
But the hoofbeats find me in the light of day
A sudden noise, a slamming door (a trigger)
And I'm begging for the ground to hold me tighter
Do you run to be free, or because you're scared of me?
This fractured dance of what I am and what I used to be

Black horse, black horse, running through the night
Carrying the shadows, fleeing from the light
I just wanna pull your reins and (stop) your desperate flight
Or leap upon your back and vanish from this life
My shadow steed, my phantom, my disease

(Stop running, stop running...) 
I'm trying to catch you, please.

(Whoa, easy now) Let me touch your sweat-dark side
We don't have to run to feel alive
Let me (calm) the fire in your eyes
We have nothing left here to outrun
The battle's over... but we still... we still run...
(Breathe... just breathe...)

Maybe tomorrow... I won't chase you.
Maybe tomorrow... you'll walk beside me.
(Hush now... hush...)


Runaway Heart

3am bedroom recordings
mirror talking back louder than me

"mirror static… why you talkin’ like you panic?"

full lyrics:

[Intro – phone memo...] 
yo… if this saves… don’t listen back…


mirror static…
i hear echoes in the dark like someone had it
i keep reaching for myself but i can’t grab it
oh mirror static… why you talkin’ like you panic?


rain on the roof like it’s spelling my name
every little drop got a different kind of pain
i been tryna sleep but the thoughts don’t fade
i been tryna run but the floor just caves

shoes untied, mind on fire
voice in my head say “don’t get higher”
brain on a loop, no rewinder
dreams in the drain like windshield wipers

i been drifting through the days like a ghost in the heat
every message on my phone just a note on repeat
i been running from the noise like it’s chasing my feet
but the quiet hits harder when it sinks too deep

i told myself i’m fine…
but my voice didn’t believe me.


mirror static…
keep glitching when i grab it…


yeah—
pulse in my chest like a faulty drum
eyes so heavy like the night too numb
thoughts keep spinning till the lines go dumb
memory flicker like a scratched old thumb

i been lost in my head, no map, no guide
and the mirror in my room got a mind inside
i keep lookin' at my face like we not aligned
like he know me better than the me sometimes

two shadows on the wall when i walk too slow
three dreams in my head that i can’t outgrow
four missed calls from a voice i don’t know
five years run past like a glitch in the show

maybe i’m not broken, maybe i’m just worn
maybe all the nights like this keep forming storms
maybe i should answer when the silence calls
but i’m scared of the echo that replies through the walls


i keep hearing me…
but i don’t sound like me…


i fall—
i fall—
i fall but i land on the same old thoughts

GET OUT OF MY HEAD—

i didn’t choose this feeling, it just moved inside
turned all my windows into endless night
but i’m still standing in the storm, i don’t hide
i fight the static even when it bites

mirror static…
i hear you…
but i’m still here…


mirror static…
you don’t own me, you can’t have it
i’m still reaching for myself through all the damage
oh mirror static… i’m climbing out the panic…

recorded on a broken phone
[NovaX] · 2025

The Slightest Touch (Live)

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