IF I WALK IN WOULD I FALL MASTER

✝️______________✝️
Helping someone else opened my mind to mix this properly.

completed bookmarks, no quotations:
The WISDOM OF CHRIST 
“BOOK OF JOHN” 

This was already read. 
My fast completed for 2 1/2 days

Any sewer codenames? 
I have 2 
2nd one I’m fond of because of the date beneath the earth 

This was a bit of a stretch to write 
I felt lead to seek out rather than follow instructions 

I’ll date it:
3/20/24
I need space to do all my considerations,
The summary is posted on laughter of god.
—-

Another meaning I can derive, given the lack of any detail in the memorable moment: 

At some point, August 30th 2020 
I managed to get into my broken phone 
Moreso, managed to get into my deleted spam account on Instagram, for the cache never updated 
I screenshotted the most important conversation I had 
Whilst I naturally had forgotten all of the grotesque of my troubled flesh that ruined my grand ideals from that time 

It was a time after the poem interpretation which I didn’t have 

But I’ll just quote some of my own words 
And summarize the words that are not my own 

They said they discovered “prices” in music hidden about, enjoying the undertones, but valued mine 
That the music grabbed them from the ribcage.

N:
“There’s a certain perspective in life that moves you forward, instead of just circling the same decision-making over and over for the rest of your life without truly realizing your purpose yet” 

“And you quite literally got the poem with my exact intention which makes me* happy that a real truth can be found even then” 

“So it’s still marketable to those who don’t understand it” 
“Striking conspiracy to those who think they do” 

It gave them this vibe: 
“Step down from that fantasy you’ve fooled yourself into believing so completely and open yourself to the sickening reality you do so well at hiding.”

How they struggled to find an in between from what they call human nature, and deep thinking, feeling the energy from everything, empathizing with me even on this 

It was like sinking into a black hole to them, the cause of the overwhelming reality for those craving understanding (quoting the strays gospel poem a bit because this is the nature of the spirit from this point)

The moment this became deeply seeded was when we felt understood, and even to insist I was the same as them 

The dreams they had that I had not yet experienced, where considered as nightmares, but despite the connotation of nightmares there was an exhilarating sense of life they found, which caused them to check out during the day 

I’d come to understand that word for word, bar for bar, and God gave means to cope by keeping me on a reserved, chore like schedule, my psychosis wouldn’t bother anyone. Now, the light is greater than the darkness and I can function without the gift, but I still desire it so, as it has lead me to draw parallels to gods promise, such as the shining, levitating ((*luminous*)) water of the spirit, or the witness of the sudden destruction of earth and my thought process as I was raised, and then descended, or the statue of Christ pointing at me. 

Dreams were freedom for them, a place for the heart to run amok, desires for evil were satiated and held together the waking, so that consequence would not be suffered. I understand more now. 

They felt like a curse. The curse was mine however, and it was holy. 

We both mistook this sense of awakening as a way to free the darkness of our inward selves, but in different fashions. 

The lesson of our unconscious awareness we already knew, the good and bad in ourselves that gives clarity upon other bodies 

The struggle between humanity as a root of good or evil. 

In this I will say now: the way of ascent is through destruction. Through time, is a generation that detests its own existence. 

I shared that as soon as I started smoking I felt waves of omnipotence, good and evil, puking in fear from darkness, or getting baptized through a shower in light, 

(Laughter of God lofi version)

IF I WALK IN WOULD I FALL MASTER

STRAY