Cal Vaid, Judith Leach - One Of The Girls

Secret Oath (I Tried Everything) [Demo]

if it aint me (who is the one to keep me safe?)

Shame On Me

have you ever sat down on the window?
just let the time go by
how the days melt into nights
you’re no longer a pure child

have you ever got into a strangers car?
just let the liquor hit
making money to get out
and live a somewhat normal life 

we all have dreams we share
we all want them but we can’t 
we all want that special back
but it’s something that is long gone now

and by now it should seem far
but it’s like i wake up with you by my side 
you always liked what you couldn’t have
even if that was me when i wasn’t ripe

sometimes we just gotta accept
that the past is forever unchanged 
you left town with the pictures of me
and i was left with nothing but the bitter memories

and when i look into my life
like you used watch me for the night
that’s when i see what i’ve become 
and what you had done

maybe you ran and now you’re well
with a new life and new easy prey
while i’m stuck in the cycle, filling the void
and someday i hope that you get caught 

we all have dreams we share
we all want them but we can’t 
we all want that special back
but it’s something that is long gone now

and by now it should seem far
but it’s like i wake up with you by my side 
you always liked what you couldn’t have
even if that was me when i wasn’t ripe

and all i have left is just to sit with it

Days Melt Into Nights

i’m tired of waiting
raise hell and suffocate me
watching me across the room 
turning lights off and lunging

hands on my face, it’s okay 
just take care

can you at least try to go slow
so i can feel the beauty in pain
can this next movie be softcore?
don’t let your anger out this time 
i can be good now

oh, i’ll be good now
i’ll be good now
i’ll be good now
i’ll be good even though i been great 

wait, don’t walk away
i know it’s gonna be worse today
so i’ll just get myself ready
pretty like your favorite things
you tell me that they’ll love me
they’ll love me

can this next movie be softcore?
don’t let your anger out this time 
i can be good now

oh, i’ll be good now
i’ll be good now
i’ll be good now
i’ll be good even though i been great 

i want to be the biggest star
i won’t cry if it means you’ll make it happen
you say the pleasure is just part of it
and i swear my soul has seen better days

but i might just get lucky 
you say i’m no longer a kid
so i’ll do whatever genre you want on the table 
and softcore won’t be the only thing i can handle

Softcore

i was special, his only one
i was treasured, his favorite angel 
how could’ve we known?
this wasn’t the right type of love

never your fault 
you did what what you could do
while you could 
maybe if my mind wasn’t so disturbed 
i could’ve saved you, but i failed you

just kids in the little league 
naive souls too young to believe
not knowing what love means
cause now we’re stained by impurity 

not your sin to bear
you were trapped in this affair
blue lights, dark nights
all come back right to your mind

how could’ve we known
the price we’d pay
growing up knowing it may be too late 

just kids in the little league 
naive souls too young to believe
not knowing what love means
cause now we’re stained by impurity

Little League

barefoot in the garden 
oh how i loved it
cross on my neck you gave me
and now i keep it 

and i remember being stripped 
so you could clean my mess
make me holy, like you

you were my savior, how dare you?
how dare you? you know i couldn’t do it

sitting crawled up in bed
thinking of things you said
you said, you said

“beautiful boy
never get rid of those
beautiful boy
this youth is only yours “

“eyes like waterfalls will never grace this earth again
sun bleached golden curls shall only be mine to touch forever”

i’m not going anywhere
you care so much
you would die for me
but i don’t feel like living for you

and i recall when you would strip away all my flaws
make me divine, for you
you were my creator, how dare you?

all for loves design
i will hold on to my essence
and i won’t let it fade
you said you said 

“beautiful boy
never get rid of those
beautiful boy
this youth is only yours “

“eyes like waterfalls will never grace this earth again
sun bleached golden curls shall only be mine to touch forever”

Beautiful Boy

you found me 
probably not where i should’ve been
“oh dear”
“who’s gonna help him?”

sixteen
full of misguided bullets that crossed me
grown up but my heart’s deceased 

life on the run 
mouthful of gun
it always hurt
keep shooting up

life on the run 
mouthful of gun
it always hurt
so keep shooting up

stupid, little kid with no idea 
he was never going to make it out of here
oh his body so depleted  
no wonder why his eyes lack innocence 

the whole scene is under me
with my hanging feet in the expressway
balancing in the bridge
my faith is in gods hands

life on the run 
mouthful of gun
it always hurt
keep shooting up

life on the run 
mouthful of gun
it always hurt
so keep shooting up

stupid, little kid with no idea 
he was never going to make it out of here
oh his body so depleted  
no wonder why his eyes lack innocence

Long Island Expressway

there’s something in your face
i’m not saying anything
cause you can’t even find the words
to break my heart right now 

i’m not well, skinny as a cigarette 
eyes sunk in, brain been smoked away 
just a whore boy craving attention 
am i turning this into another “situation”?

take me out get me drunk, i won’t fight it 
can i love you with my bare hands? i doubt it
attractive psychopath, sexy, kind 
don’t send me on my way, i need to want you

you don’t wanna talk
we don’t have the time for that
you’re thinking of an hour to rip my insides 

it’s such a pity that my loves only half real
sick and beautiful, that’s the deal 
hopeless case, selfish
get close enough to strip off

take me out get me drunk, i won’t fight it 
can i love you with my bare hands? i doubt it
attractive psychopath, sexy, kind 
don’t send me on my way, i need to want you

soft lips, angels eyes
never came back to that
they took it all away
babe you really went far

i never meant to be bad
even i tried to hide 
covered in dirty hands
thrown somewhere around

Whore

daddy i’m sorry
for crying on the way home
i couldn’t stop it
i know i drink too much 

i waste my life
self sabotage 
and i can’t stop it
don’t like who i’ve become 

it’s a big blur 
i’m lost, erase the past 
some things linger forever in the back

somebody killed my body
let them bruise me, no time to heal
it’s a big deal, yes it is 
it’s a big deal 

i look for a heaven in the stars
in my bed let monsters hide
once they’re gone let me know
i wanna feel for once, i need control

i look for a reason to live
i think it’s been way too long 
once it’s gone let me know
i wanna breathe for once, i need to go 

i need to go
i want to go
i should go

sometimes i just had no choice
there was no excuse for all that i’ve done
but i did it to myself, that’s why i’m like this
i did it to myself, they did it to me first

i look for a heaven in the stars
in my bed let monsters hide
once they’re gone let me know
i wanna feel for once, i need control

wanna breathe for once, i need to go

Cal Vaid

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