Sorry for the inconsistent uploads everybody! Susie and Bean are back to bring you a puss-filled episode about near-death experiences, and a very misinformed perspective on the conflicts happening in the middle east.

Episode #047: God is Dead and Our Cysts are Drained

Disclaimer: Susie, the worthless audio-engineer (Bean's words not mine), couldn't be bothered to edit this podcast to it's normally sub-par quality, so it may sound a little wonky. Plz 4giv us.

The gals are back from their 7 month hiatus! Bean and Susie are very sorry to be so inconsistent, and in this episode they tell all about why their lives have been too chaotic to produce a podcast for their 10 listeners. This is mostly a barely-edited vulnerable update about the gals' lives, and what they hope to pursue in the future. If you even make it through this episode thank you so much for listening!

Episode #048: Season Four!

David is back and ready to spew more hatred! On this week's episode, Susie and David review the long-anticipated Broadway-to-movie adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen, starring America's sweetheart Ben Platt. Susie cried and David cringed. If you want the movie spoiled and to hear some incoherent babbling about a musical, you've come to the right place!

Episode #049: Dear Ben Platt (Dear Evan Hansen Spoilers!)

Is Bean back for this episode? Maybe. Either way, the gals revisit some of their old Facebook Messenger conversations from middle and high school. Is it pathetic? yes. Does Susie find evidence of Bean consistently being an unreliable and overall terrible friend throughout their entire friendship? also yes. Bonus: we find out what the gals' clown specialties would be!

Episode #050: Susie and Bean Revisit Teen Depression

David and Susie catch up about the upcoming Brooke shields Hallmark film, what they did for Halloween, and which god-awful billionaire they would fuck/marry/kill. Kick back and relax to some mediocre-at-best conversation.

Episode #051: Would David Fuck the Zuck?

The gals celebrate Bean's 24th trip around the sun by drinking Irish cream liqueur (something Bean should be avoiding) and talking about their favorite topic: guns. Bean spills all about her love life, and Susie also tries to contribute (but struggles to do so).

Episode #052: Happy Birthday to Joe Rogan's BFF

The gals were gone for a few months, and they're still not coming back. In the meantime, here's a little treat to tide you over! Bean and Susie gripe about their experiences with debilitating mental illness and the doctors that simply write them off as hysterical (depressed). Susie can no longer get Insulin due to an abrupt tragedy, and Bean is forced to take a break from comedy due to saying too many slurs in a single set. Stay tuned to find out if these things are true or just exaggerations because Susie is incapable of writing the truth!

Episode #053: Bean Gets Diagnosed as Quirky

The gals have reunited in the flesh! Susie updates us on her return to the motherland, Bean shares about her virtual near death experience. Kick back and listen to these two gals struggle to figure out what 1% of 10,000 is!

Episode #054: A Sober King

The Strumpets are back, and this time they're on screen! (Which can be viewed here: https://youtu.be/eDbHJEMqKFY) Were there a plethora of technical issues? Yes, obviously, but that didn't stop these two from embarrassing themselves in front of the camera. Bean tried to recap some documentaries she watched while isolated, but immediately rescinded anything she said. Susie gives an update about tiktok sauce drama that happened back in May. Is this a new era for the gals? Who knows!!

Episode #055: Name a Bigger Prank Than 9-11

Bernice and Susan are back, and this time with more crabs than ever before! Tune in to hear all about Susie's trash misadventures, Bean's run-in with ungrateful tourists, and how the gals plan to manifest a multi-family property. Bonus: some fresh hot takes about friendship incels!

Episode #056: What's in the Bermuda Triangle? (1000 crabs)

Join the gals for yet another new format of podcasting! Bean and Susie discuss the nuances of women’s self defense tik toks, Christianity, and homesteading. The gals also try out some bird calls, and Susie holds a screwdriver that matches her outfit nicely. You won’t want to miss this episode!

Episode #057: How to survive Uber eats

Cozy up with the gals for this extra special holiday episode! Bean and Susie give their most lukewarm opinions on holiday traditions, and discuss both their gratitude and disdain for the passage of time. Find out what Bean DOES NOT want for Christmas, and find out which Holiday movie is Susie’s least favorite. Happy Holidays to all! Hopefully next year Strumper Radio Hour really takes off!!!!

Episode #058: Put the Holy back in Holidays

Join the gals for a riveting update on their lives, the current state of their friendship (bad), and their future real estate goals.

Episode #059: Snakes, Lies, and Island Real Estate

Join the Strumpets for a shallow dive into their fears of the ocean! Bonus content: Bernice's thoughts about Uncrustables.

Episode#060: The Gals stay out of the Ocean

Join the gals for yet another new-and-improved hour of nonsense! Susie and Bean discuss what it takes to be a model, they ponder what trench foot actually is, and they give out a FREE improv lesson. You won't want to miss this one, so tune in!

Episode#61: The Gals Teach Improv

On today's episode of the pod Bernice tells us all about her journey finding a new bag (and shows us what's in it!), and Susie talks in vague detail about how she just quit her job. Bonus: the gals do another improv!

Episode #062: What's in Bean's Bag?

Buckle in for a very special episode featuring one of SRH's longest and most dedicated fans (Sophie)! The gals struggle to think of hard hitting interview questions, but they DO think of a great business idea. Watch now to find out what it is!

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Brendan: https://twitter.com/brendanksauer

Episode #063: Welcome to the Rat Ranch (feat. Sophie)

Join the gals for an extra special and extra scary Halloween episode! Bean updates us on the horror that recently unfolded in her life (unemployment), and both the gals share some of their scariest real life encounters with strangers. Bonus: Brendan forces Bean and Susie to play a game! 

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Brendan: https://twitter.com/brendanksauer

Episode #065: Happy Halloween from The Strumpets!

Tune in to hear all about the 5K Bernice and Susan (and maybe you!) are planning to run in January! Susie also tells us all about some Tik Tok drama involving some lady named Lauren, and  everyone on the pod realized this show is just some sick twisted version of iCarly. You won't want to miss a second of this one! 

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Brendan: https://twitter.com/brendanksauer

Episode #066: The Gals Make a Life Style Change

Tune in to hear Bernice and Susan (and sometimes Brendan) discuss their latest successes, fitness gains, and current opinions on showering and body hair removal. Bonus: Bean shares her parking hack! 

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Brendan: https://twitter.com/brendanksauer

Episode #067: The Strumpets' Guide to Success, Gains, and Free Parking

Happy Holidays from all of us at Strumpet Radio Hour. 

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Brendan: https://twitter.com/brendanksauer

Episode #068: Happy Strumpet Holidays

This week, the Gals talk about some life things and make some tier lists.

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Brendan: https://twitter.com/brendanksauer

Episode #070: Ranking Tier Lists

This week, the gals run a 5k and look back on how it went, as well as talked about love for this 69th (nice) episode.

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Brendan: https://twitter.com/brendanksauer

Episode #069: The Gals run a 5k

Bean and Susie attempt to destroy the budding career of an indie band, discuss the newfound romantic nature of their relationship, and vividly describe the plot of a blockbuster movie that's already been analyzed to death.

Episode #001: Should We Edit That Out?

Find out the origins of Bean and Susie's unhealthy relationship. Bonus: Bean coins the best safe sex message of this generation.

Episode #002: All's Fair in Love and World of Warcraft

Bean and Susie gripe about customer service jobs and middle-aged adults who demand free stuff from restaurants.

Episode #003: Maybe Skip this One

Remember episode 18? Well this episode is what that conversation devolved into. Bean tells us about the death of her beloved bearded dragon, and Susie shares all about her erotic nightmares. Several points during the show the gals are completely unintelligible, maybe you can figure out what they're trying to say!

Episode #019: The Gals Are Still Drunk

The gals are back again to bring you more low-energy content! As per usual, Susie gripes about her very unhealthy love life, and Bean tries to offer some (questionable) advice. After this brief and ineffective therapy session, the strumpets compare nipples and itemize their last will and testaments.

Episode #021: Puffy Nipples and Death

SRH is 1 year old! In honor of lasting a whole year and garnering 12 whole fans, Bean and Susie revisit a never-before-aired episode of the podcast they were too ashamed to post. Stay tuned to find out how much Susie has grown as a person (not that much), and Bean's changing opinions on genitalia descriptors!

Episode #032: The Strumpets Lasted a Whole Year

The Strumpets finally get their #1 fan (and #1 hater) David on the podcast! Stay tuned to hear about Bean and David's Mormon origins, while Susie quietly listens and gets ignored for most of the episode. The Strumpets also celebrate this year's first October episode by talking about traumatic childhood fears.

Episode #034: How to Douche Your Bussy with David

Susie and Bean felt that the podcast world was too over-saturated with ill informed men spouting off advice they shouldn't be giving. So they did the most #girlboss move they could think of and started their own podcast where two uninformed women ramble about nothing in particular. Bean is a washed up standup comic (despite doing standup for less than a year), and Susie is an out-of-work Sociology major. Should these two be allowed to make content? Probably not, but they continue to do so anyway. Kick back, relax, and listen to these two tarts babble about their deepest insecurities.

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