I had a bar in here that references my faviyrite childhood movie, Help! I'm A Fish. as always, Issa sad trap banger. you know the vibes.

Help! I'm A Fish

I've run out of shoulders for my tears to fall on
Can you give me one reason why 
I should continue to hold on?
And I guess that I'm runnin' out of faith,
But I'll take this to the grave, lately
I've been drinking 'til the bottle's gone
I'll be dead by dawn, or just wake up alone again

And in pain, it's the same
I used to believe in change
'cause the rhythm of my heart beats differently every day
And every 24 hours, some power leakin' away,
Seepin' out of my brain, too much damage to the waves,
Like it's Border Village
Yeah we say we kill it - we don't gotta take it so literally
Figures fully hittin' double digits
Living digitally 'til the pub dinners & cheap steez
Do this shit with ease, no difficulty

I'm running out of shoulders for my tears to fall on
Can you give me one reason why 
I should continue to hold on?
And I guess that I'm runnin' out of faith,
But I'll take this to the grave, lately
I've been drinking 'til the bottle's gone
I'll be dead by dawn, or just wake up alone again

So much freedom in my head,
I built a world of my own,
I just wanna be laughing to the bank
Before I'm 30 years old
Reciprocating the patience that I'm displaying
Digging my own grave, while I'm showing the world greatness
I get up and go, take it away from those who don't need it,
Just to try to offer some shelter to the ones who've been defeated
By the darkness. those vices be heartless
I don't really wanna find out what life is like after

I've run out of shoulders for my tears to fall on
Can you give me one reason why 
I should continue to hold on?
And I guess that I'm runnin' out of faith,
But I'll take this to the grave, lately
I've been drinking 'til the bottle's gone
I'll be dead by dawn, or just wake up alone again

I'm out of shoulders for my tears to fall on
Can you give me one reason why 
I should continue to hold on?
And I guess that I'm runnin' out of faith,
But I'll take this to the grave, lately
I've been drinking 'til the bottle's gone
I'll be dead by dawn, or just wake up alone again

Spotify

SHOULDERS

I'm thinkin' of sacrificing your bitch,
Watch her bleed out to my shit
That romantic kiss her goodnight mosaic
It's out of field but a vibe, don't say it
Never touching down til the paper's high
Cause the funds keep me bound to a land I am sick of
Keep it real I don't really give a fuck about ya life
And the voices I hear I know I can't rid of

But luckily for me
It's not long til it's over
My lungs black as my soul
And it's fuck getting sober
Cause God left me here
I was chosen to die
They say I won't see heaven
But I'd rather rip out my eyes 

Doesn't take much to distract the populous
Pacify them but it's too damn obvious
You can't keep the many from hating the opulent
One for the people, there is no stopping this

Freight train
Many emotions rising up and it'll make waves
We can't keep on playing the part we won't let you set stage
Just a warning, there's not much time to stay safe
Feel the rumble in the ground before the
Freight train
Many emotions rising up and it'll make waves
We can't keep on playing the part we won't let you set stage
Just a warning, there's not much time  to stay safe
Be braced to feel the freight train move

shoutouts to Hollow Front(song: Comatose) for the sample

FREIGHT TRAIN

Lyrics:
Aye girl, do you remember the night?
Hey oh, our arms were hanging out the ride
Lately my conscious has fallen for a high
I don't know why but I don't wanna survive 

Fill my head with poison & melodies
I could only dream up
With this cloud before my eyes,
I can barely see what I need
I'm dying softly

I wanna live for the ones that call me a soldier, 
But the people around me suck the life out of me,
I feel older than I should
Giving my time, not borrowed,
Just to feel misunderstood
Was it always this hollow?
Guess I'm not working like I should
Yea-yeah, sorry if I let you down
Yea-yeah, I was on the way up to my crown
Yea-yeah, too many I wish were still around
I can't look at it different, I'm trapped and they got out

Fill my head with poison & melodies
I could only dream up
With this cloud before my eyes,
I can barely see what I need
I'm dying softly

[Riverrrr]:
Black screen, I got the backup
Too many times I have backed out
I'm down to move in the shadows,
But I don't wanna do my back out
And I feel so real (I want something new)
The cuts keep me running (I want something new)

Fill my head with poison & melodies
I could only dream up
With this cloud before my eyes,
I can barely see what I need
I'm dying softly

Spotify!

Dying Softly [ft. Riverrrr]

Uh-huh, I'm having issues with my trust
Keep it a hundred I'm feeling done, 'cause everybody got me fucked up
And in my dreams I'm playing with the seems of reality
Wrong terminology, gotta make sure that shit doesn't come undone
'Cause I'm a hedonist, thrill-seeking people pleaser
Feel like there's different parts of me fighting to be the alpha
Need a reset, no factory
She said she'd get back to me
But I could give a fuck, you know I'm runnin' out of battery

My way, it keep me sittin' on the fence, yeah 
Up on a precipice, I'm really on the edge
I'm focused but I couldn't care
If I fall I don't know who'd be there
I gotta question, not to know but to live
We keep on takin', we don't know how to give
I'm hopeless, still shine in my stare
Never givin' up 'til my name is everywhere

Would've been nice if you were there
So many moments that never got shared
Now I'm alone in my zone, and I'm losing awareness
Of the world outside my head
Feel like I'm already dead
God textin', left him on read
Blood red, my eyes
Like a sacrifice, bet
It's fuckin' torture being here so I make bad decisions
But even though I hate it, I'm stickin'
This is a permanent situation, I'm furniture from the basement
I'm sharpie, you can't erase me
I got riddles on the low
And now I'm vibing to this culture that I built for myself
But I'm concerned that if it grows, they'll wanna know what's in my shell
I'm not ashamed, but I got darkness I don't really wanna share
Shawty told me I'm a curse, I said I'm well aware

My way, it keep me sittin' on the fence, yeah 
Up on a precipice, I'm really on the edge
I'm focused but I couldn't care
If I fall I don't know who'd be there
I gotta question, not to know but to live
We keep on takin', we don't know how to give
I'm hopeless, still shine in my stare
Never give up 'til my name is everywhere

My Name Is Everywhere

Hit me up when you're wishing that you're dead
I'll be your genie in a lamp
Unleash the anger of man
Levitating to the beat, you won't know it 'til it hits ya
Always straight sippin', give a fuck about a liver

I'm so happy that you showed up
Sofa bed, make a body fold up
When they question, it's “not that I know of”
No love ever given, no fucking love lost

Sick of the sound of chatter inside
How many voices can be in one mind?
Living like I'm sippin' on some motherfuckin' Ricin
Dead inside  'til the very last night
You won't get no sympathy from me
I'm apathetic as can be
And as for all your false pretences of superiority
You got dirt upon your name that's gonna be better kept unseen
I don't want shit from you, just a warning, don't fuck with me
Don't speak pussy boy, just run
You think you know fire?
I came from the fucking sun
Leave you armless, “Hey Siri, call mum”
Only when I'm burning at the fucking pyre am I done

SOFA BED

If I Don't Make It [Too Close To Touch sample]

OK, last one
I dunno, I'm on the fence
But I can't come to your party
I'll be dead
Before this grass gets any greener
It's so awful, my demeanour
Keep them pastors on they toes
And leave their daughters with the cleanup
Y'all need to 

SLATE MY MIND
I CAME FROM THE WOMB FUCKING DEAD ON THE INSIDE
I DON'T WANT NEW LIFE
BUT I WILL OVERCOME SPACE AND TIME

It's been 5 nights in the trap
With a really bad bitty
Sold your soul and still nobody
Fuckin' with you, what a pity
Guess the devil was a lie
Pullin' egyptian over my eyes
That's if you cotton on
The threads run deep down under
We on fire
Light a cigarette up off the open flame, cuz and
I could give a fuck about your weakness
I got way too many strengths
Make a break from all the snakes
Although the venom doesn't phase me
I got an army on the rise
All while your soldiers pushin' up daisies 
Please don't touch me, I got some stainless on me
You might end the night up with your neck slit, homie
I ain't hard pressed for girlie and her bitch
Follow me to cop a fist
You a lemon, get squeezed
Juice leakin', let it drip
Chainsaw like Beyblade, let it rip
Might just make a pussy eat his own lips
Pick your battles, be wise, don't slip
Never let your life fall into my grip

SLATE MY MIND
I CAME FROM THE WOMB FUCKING DEAD ON THE INSIDE
I DON'T WANT NEW LIFE
BUT I WILL OVERCOME SPACE AND TIME

They talk about dead man's hand
I'm callin' it dead man's flow
'Cause I can barely fuckin' stand
And yet they all already know that
I'm the goat, openin' pits up in their souls
Spirit moshing where we go
I'm wired up, ready to die
Awaiting my own permission to blow
God damn, this man so red hot
On my phone, distracted, got the game up in a leglock
Parents always asking why I wanna swallow lead for
Tell 'em I was born this way and it's 10-4
State of mind's dippin'
And I will decline with it
Sippin' codiene & wine
Ticket is gold coated,
Fortified, straight to hell
Livin' like I'm on the other side of 
A wishing well
Throw a penny if you can
I am drowning, can't you tell
Late night, potion cookin', young witch
I am solid, you keep living in your indecision
I just make incisions in my competition
'til out comes a liver, whimpering and sitting
In your blood, I'm feeling better

SLATE MY MIND

Fuck the parental advisory sticker, y'all know by now. xD

You and I
It's something I don't wanna think about
This forest fire
In my heart, can't seem to put it out
I'm tantalised
By the flames, running to 'em
'cause you made me feel
Like I'd rather burn
Than see your eyes

This is incredible
Mosaic got the heat and it is plentiful
I got some stress, but at least it ain't medical
So few left round me, but I'm feeling better off
I know I gotta
Turn up the hustle, focus on my craft like no tomorrow 
And surround myself with brothers whose words could never be hollow
I said fuck the money, this music shit feel like the lotto
When I get to where I wanna be, I'm getting blotto'd

Surely you didn't mean what you said about me the other night
Although I too only miss you when I'm high
This back and forth shit got me losing my mind
I'm lost, no perception of time

You and I
It's something I don't wanna think about
This forest fire
In my heart, can't seem to put it out
I'm tantalised
By the flames, running to 'em
'cause you made me feel
Like I'd rather burn
Than see your eyes

Funny how I look back on those times with such delight
Despite that you couldn't look me in the eyes before you walked out of my life
Not fair, you said you were all in
Should've called you right there
Now you're buried in my skin
Like a junkie, itching for some love
And I swear nobody want me from the way they cut me off
I can't read their intentions, but I know I'm on lost on them
'cause everybody wants a friend
That only ever hears their end

You and I
It's something I don't wanna think about
This forest fire
In my heart, can't seem to put it out
I'm tantalised
By the flames, running to 'em
'cause you made me feel
Like I'd rather burn
Than see your eyes

Forest Fire (prod. Vorni)

Lyrics:

I'm feeling grey
I'm over-stating that I can't complain
Uninterested commentary overcrowding my space

Temporarily alleviate the pain
But I can never run away from the sound it makes
If I had to walk this path again
Next time I'd sink into the crashing waves
I've been pretty

Bad at all of this life business
Wondering what slide this is 
Am I even linear
Progressin' like whose life is this?
I wanna be popular, yeah, pretty in those lights and shit
But every thought up in my head says I got nothing left to give
Lemme live
Why am I my own worst nightmare?
Can't force my hope to expire from the outside,
But you can do it inside my head

Cycles repeat, no one is hurt
But I'm broken down and rebuilt when I

Temporarily alleviate the pain
But I can never run away from the sound it makes
If I had to walk this path again
Next time I'd sink into the crashing waves
I've been pretty

Pretend you're someone, somewhere
And just like that place you'd have to be
Perfectly fake

Perfectly Fake

BELIEF [Feat. Paro](prod. LOU BOY)

Is there enough wrong with me
That the help that I need
Would recover the person
That I'm supposed to be

I'm symptomatic of a need for change
'Cause I'm always standing too close to the flame
I just might die in my old damn ways
But I got mama prayin', so it'll be okay

Are you down to take risks with me shawty?
Why so serious? Not Shirley
I'm wiser than a kid, you can't burn me
Lighter to the skin, Johnny Cash, I hurt me

I hurt myself sometimes
I just can't deal with this life sometimes
I get it right sometimes
But other times I just lose my sight

This happens all the time
White rabbits on my mind
I just need to decide
Whether I'm alright 

Are you down to take risks with me shawty
Why so serious? Not Shirley
I'm wiser than a kid, you can't burn me
Lighter to the skin, Johnny Cash, I hurt me

Get down to take risks with me shawty
Why so serious? Not Shirley
I'm wiser than a kid, you can't burn me
Lighter to the skin, Johnny Cash, I hurt me

So many god-damned nights
Awake with nothing but the spiral of thoughts inside
And the reliving of memories of you and I
That indicated to me that were do or die

But you lied
You were dishonest with me
I didn't find
What you thought you lost in me

Are you down to take risks with me shawty
Why so serious? Not Shirley
I'm wiser than a kid, you can't burn me
Lighter to the skin, Johnny Cash, I hurt me

Get down to take risks with me shawty
Why so serious? Not Shirley
I'm wiser than a kid, you can't burn me
Lighter to the skin, Johnny Cash, I hurt me

HURT ME

Lyrics: 

Need a better piece to tell the time with
If I'm being honest, it's just emptiness on my wrist
Wear it like my heart, outside I hear silence
Deep inside of me it's violence
Swear I was a nice kid, but that shit was overdone
Gave too much, I got visible scars
Coming undone, I need love
I think that I ran too far 

You can tell me it gets better if you really feel it
I've been saying it for years, don't know if I believe it any more
So bored of my phone, I D&D it
I'm just like the radio, too much getting repeated
Swear I might become a different being
Lost sight of myself looking for the meaning
To my reflection I have been the meanest
Use my body as a weapon, General Grievous 

Need a better piece to tell the time with
If I'm being honest, it's just emptiness on my wrist
Wear it like my heart, outside I hear silence
Deep inside of me it's violence
Swear I was a nice kid, but that shit was overdone
Gave too much, I got visible scars
Coming undone, I need love
I think that I ran too far 

Is this really real life?
I'm too tired to keep dealing with the strife
So gone, sacrificing no more time
Don't be surprised if you don't get a reply from me
Quit telling lies to me
I know you could never fight for me
All your words were only ever skin deep
I'll be your best friend forever when you're lying six feet 

Need a better piece to tell the time with
If I'm being honest, it's just emptiness on my wrist
Wear it like my heart, outside I hear silence
Deep inside of me it's violence
Swear I was a nice kid, but that shit was overdone
Gave too much, I got visible scars
Coming undone, I need love
I think that I ran too far



TIMEPIECE

Lyrics

[Hook]:
When I'm not high
I feel I can't hide
From questions I need answers to
Like have I lost my mind?
We traumatise ourselves with virtual lives
Repeat the cycle, try not to cry
I'm waiting
They say good things are coming to me
But I'm breaking
A void of colour is all I can see

[Verse 1]:
I'm over wondering what the world wants from me
I used to have a vision, now it's under me
'Cause in the new world, you gotta pay to be seen
Pay for your reach, out-stretch all the pain underneath
I've been fighting the villain in me
It's too hard to love what I see
And maybe I'm just negative
But when your dopamine dies, can you please tell me the benefits
I treated every fucking girl right and they still left
And I know for a fact the sky's blue, but it feels red
I look in the mirror saying "You used to be a pillhead, you've come so far"
Yeah, but I don't really feel it
I came up from smokin' and grimin' and stealin'
Wanted to make something better and reel in some hooks
Done hangin' with crooks
But I know I was happier, more understood

[Hook]:
When I'm not high
I feel I can't hide
From questions I need answers to
Like have I lost my mind?
We traumatise ourselves with virtual lives
Repeat the cycle, try not to cry
I'm waiting
They say good things are coming to me
But I'm breaking
A void of colour is all I can see

[Verse 2]:
I thought I had to make myself bigger, like a puffer fish
Then I thought I needed to downsize and see a fuckin' shrink
But I'm lost and confused, I don't know what the truth is
I look at my life and ask God why did you do this?
Why didn't you do shit when my family was in ruin?
I could blame you, but it feels so fucking useless
It's hard when every father you ever had was abusive
It's harder when your mum's the one who taught you what a noose is
360's the one that taught me be vulnerable
I could be strong man, but I don't fit that mold at all
I'm just hoping I can hold it all without letting my shoulders fall
And carry your weight, so you know you're not alone at all
I know my head's fucked up, but I stand tall
Might be spending too much time thinkin' about the curtain call
I know I'm still young, but this is what I stand for
Tryna make life brighter for the ones that don't want it anymore

[Hook]:
When I'm not high
I feel I can't hide
From questions I need answers to
Like have I lost my mind?
We traumatise ourselves with virtual lives
Repeat the cycle, try not to cry
I'm waiting
They say good things are coming to me
But I'm breaking
A void of colour is all I can see

waiting...

As a connoisseur of all things beautiful, the artist known as suicidemosaic has compiled some of his favourite recent compositions as instrumentals, into this experience for all to consume & take away what they wish from it.
Calmly wander through a through the mind of young hip-hop producer Jed "suicidemosaic" Sharp, in this delicate, soul-filled journey. The 2nd edition of "Play These Beats at My Funeral" is an elegent, yet epic tale told not by words but by instruments - it is at times dark and gloomy, and at other times grand and inspiring.

Play These Beats at My Funeral, Pt. II

EXHALE

VOODOO (prod. Raulite)

Lyrics:

You haven't lost your mind
If you can think about it
That means you still got some time
It makes no difference 'til you let em
Come and block your shine
They tryna stick us with the venom
In the grass they lie
If it was greener I'd have told you

It's so obvious to see
We all fall victim to a curse
And I'm as honest as can be
Still do not know what I deserve
They said we came from stars
And then they said we came from dirt
I'm not sure what to believe
But I know it ends with a hearse

So will you be kind to each other
Don't let love decline
When your brothers are falling behind
Will you tell them to lift their eyes
Come inside

Where the heart that you reaped
Becomes propense to violence
It is a place we've all seen
You have to let your mind rest
I know it's hard to believe
That you'll shine like a diamond
But it's all for you to see
You were made to be free

We all need love
And I won't be the one to hold it back
Come undone
And they might think you should be over that
This the type of enemy to spite you
Then come running back
Don't even engage with that
So cold but you don't need 'em anymore

Show em all the door
For the times they abandoned you
When you were fighting wars
They ask for more
'til they watch the blood pour
And then they complain that
The floor isn't brown anymore

Where the heart that you reaped
Becomes propense to violence
It is a place we've all seen
You have to let your mind rest
I know it's hard to believe
That you'll shine like a diamond
But it's all for you to see
You were made to be free

Way out in the clouds
Is where I thought I found who I should be
If you're down and strung out
Then you're just like me

Way out in the clouds
Is where I thought I found who I should be
If you're down and strung out
Then you're just like me

Where the heart that you reaped
Becomes propense to violence
It is a place we've all seen
You have to let your mind rest
I know it's hard to believe
That you'll shine like a diamond
But it's all for you to see
You were made to be free

Be Kind

Another You

Sinking

K!NG

Elder Wand

Crowded

Intoxicating Love

A Dichotomy of Self-Deprecation

The Urge to Run From My Problems Only Grows Stronger by the Day

The Human Torch is Real, and He's Not in a Very Good Mood Today

My Aspirations Can Be Overwhelming

Why is the Rum Always Gone?

Mitsuha's Story

777 Angels & 666 Demons

If Nothing Changes, Nothing Will Change

It Feels Like I've Been Digging For 26 Years

FAKE LOVE (feat. Henlxy)

I'm Roadkill to Your 500km Journey, But I Still Love You

TELL ME STR8

SHADOW_REALM (prod. TREETIME)

PHOENIX

Lullaby ft. Yung CA & Løsty

suicidemosaic represents a search for the answer to life's hardest questions - a quest for peace in a dying world.

suicidemosaic

Popular tracks