TV-Filled Meadows

Produced by 
@scottysplash
@bradyamour
@splashgvng
@spookygang
@tothegood
@cxldblxxd
@93feetofsmoke
@rrarebearbeats
@8milotb
@caspr

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

TV-Filled Meadows

A collection of short tracks that could be described as a cry for help. Don't worry everything is instant peaches momma, just add coffee.

lyrics/performed by @suincideme

mix/master by @suincideme

produced by neverforever @sh4dowfigure
https://www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever

cover art by @suincideme
original "dead man walking" photographer - Scott Beckwith

ALL TRACKS ON THIS EP ARE NOT MONETIZED, THESE TRACKS ARE MADE FROM FREE NON-PROFIT BEATS PRODUCED BY NEVERFOREVER.

ALL SAMPLES ARE CLIPS FROM VARIOUS TIKTOK/YOUTUBE/MEDIA. IF LINKS ARE REQUIRED PM ME ON SOUNDCLOUD.

dread man walking [VOL.1]

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

Photo used by: IG @lonelyshorts

Lyrics: suincideme

BUBBLY

60mph

produced by @emptychest

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme

lyrics 

now i dont know too much about cars babe
but i know 60 mph could whack me
send me to the grave when it smack me
6 feet under ground where im happy

im getting tired of being constantly let down
my inner monolog is telling me just to break down
i never shouldve told all of the things that i think like
honestly at this point id rather be dead weight

we can move so slow
i cant move like love
what do you want from me

simplest little memories always hit me the deepest
its fucking crushing me do you think we ever could beat this
im going offline
things are feeling off white
little bit of beige like
somethings feeling off right?

girl i miss the old you
but not the old you
like the old you 
but the new you
and the fact is that i still love you

i love you i fucking love you

now i dont know too much about cars babe
but i know 60 mph could whack me
send me to the grave when it smack me
6 feet under ground where im 

HA HA

im getting tired of being constantly let down
my inner monolog is telling me just to break down
i never shouldve told all of the things that i think like
honestly at this point id rather be dead weight

we can move so slow
i cant move like love
what do you want from me

60mph

60mph (prod. emptychest)

cabaret

produced by @whiteravenn 

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme

lyrics
its a late night for a cabaret
i really hate the feeling that you could stay
im getting high from the smoke girl
maybe you should get your coat girl

is it on me if you ever stray
im sipping on truama that i could save
its not really what i wanna do
but i guess ill fucking have to

so we should go back to freaking
everytime you would have a free day on weekends
grovel and strain from the pain i guess
i feel like an hourglass drained and bled

thats just how feel on my day to day
i guess theres nothing really that u could say
theres too much running through my mind girl
maybe you should get your coat girl

cabaret

cabaret (prod. whiteravenn)

christmas party & the comedown originally wrote by 9TAILS(@i_x_t_a_i_l_s)

produced by @vxrus-beats
https://www.youtube.com/@vxrusbeats

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme

original songs:
https://soundcloud.com/i_x_t_a_i_l_s/christmas-party-prod-idealism-1
https://soundcloud.com/i_x_t_a_i_l_s/the-comedown-prod-idealism

christmas party / the comedown(9TAILS COVER)(prod. VXRUS)

i'm so overwhelmed with my own apathy

produced by neverforever @sh4dowfigure
https://www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme
original "dead man walking" photographer - Scott Beckwith

overwhelmed with my own apathy [intro] (prod. neverforever)

if you feel the same you should listen up

produced by neverforever @sh4dowfigure
https://www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme
original "dead man walking" photographer - Scott Beckwith

lyrics by @suincideme

look i gotta
look i gotta change
i gotta change
i gotta change
i gotta change

look i gotta change the way i think
to get me through another awful day
and i dont wanna be the one to break news to you
it might be new to you
but its not new to me
and notice everyone is watching me while im decaying
can you notice heavy burdens swallow me theres more than i can take
but its not like i dont care
i know my words are important
if you feel the same you should listen up

listen (prod. neverforever)

why do I feel guilt for feeling hallow?

produced by neverforever @sh4dowfigure
https://www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme
original "dead man walking" photographer - Scott Beckwith

lyrics by @suincideme

im starting to think for as long as ive lived ive been anxious
pacing my room while im pulling my hair out
least half the week lethargic as fuck
and close to a meltdown
soon as that happens i gotta watch it
gotta consider people in my orbits feelings
talk about mental distortion
talk about feeling unimportant

like i understand the premise but i
dont really follow
(dont really follow)
like why do i feel guilt for feeling hollow?
(for feeling hallow)
and everyday that pill gets harder to swallow
(like god damn)
ive lost interest in like everything
(i dont do shit now)
and you always wonder why im sleeping in late
(im fucking dead)
if tomorrows like today i would much rather sleep
and not really eat than think
about certain things i dont want to
and all of that shit in between
gets cut out and left out

im starting to think for as long as ive lived ive been anxious
pacing my room while im pulling my hair out
least half the week lethargic as fuck
and close to a meltdown
soon as that happens i gotta watch it
gotta consider people in my orbits feelings
talk about mental distortion
talk about feeling unimportant

guilty (prod. neverforever)

maybe i'm not ready to think yet

produced by neverforever @sh4dowfigure
https://www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme
original "dead man walking" photographer - Scott Beckwith

lyrics by @suincideme

im a doomscroller
baby im not ready to think yet
ive got trauma and im starting to think that
ive been long gone and im not ready to think that
maybe im not ready to think

im a doomscroller
baby im not ready to breathe yet
i avoid the silence like its bound to get violent
you want me to talk or at least put my device down
but baby im not ready to think

youve been floating round my body whats wrong can you please just say it
like i always end up talking enough but i dont say shit
study plans with me baby i might forget it
if you were asking for patience you wont believe it

im a doomscroller
baby im not ready to breathe yet
ive got trauma and im starting to think that
ive been long gone and im not ready to think that
baby im not ready to think yet

doomscroller (prod. neverforever)

do you like the way your skin feels on your body?

produced by neverforever @sh4dowfigure
https://www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme
original "dead man walking" photographer - Scott Beckwith

lyrics by @suincideme

just rip it off rip it off right
im tired of my skin its getting too tight
uh
just rip it off rip it off right
you gotta use finesse this time
just rip it of rip it all off
im tired of my skin feeling like its burning off
but at the end of the day
its a real world wonder why im needing my space like oh

man i love being alone
its the only time i really get to do what i want
oh
man i hate being alone
theres no one to bring me back from the abyss of before
oh 
look who just kicked in the door
its depression and anxiety just asking for more
im steady fucking me up
im curling up on the floor
if this continues any longer 
ima tap out

im not listening to anything you say
im not holding onto words of apathy
im still filling up with never ending sadness
and its all for what?
thats something i forgot

im not listening to anything you say
im not holding onto words of apathy
ive got filling up inside of my own skin
and its all for what?
thats something i forgot

skin (prod. neverforever)

my skin still burns my head don't work like yours

produced by neverforever @sh4dowfigure
https://www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme
original "dead man walking" photographer - Scott Beckwith

lyrics by @suincideme

my skin still burns my head dont work like yours
my skin still burns my head dont work like yours

look this my luffy versus lucci this is only beginning
i held my head up for my family 
does that stop it from spinning tho?

i was born with the affliction BPD type 2
manic depression is finna rip me in two
im fucking wasting my youth
just fucking sitting here dude
while i scream into the mic about the shit that i do
but man like

fuck the medication only thing it ever gave me was some
tardive dyskinesia and a hopeless feeling i couldnt repress hun
i cannot sleep when im sober oh
i cannot take this lament
im sorry honey ill try my best but
i promise ill end up a mess

LvL [outro] (prod. neverforever)

dread man walking

produced by neverforever @sh4dowfigure
www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever

mix/mastered by @suincideme

cover art by @suincideme
original "dead man walking" photographer - Scott Beckwith

lyrics by @suincideme

im dread man walking im pissed off like nidhogg
all my life ive been holding back on everyone
im not stopping i cant stop and wont stop
maybe just leave me alone

im a thyphon walking i never knew what i had in me
but thats different story when you been through years of therapy
its been clawing every inch of my anatomy
its been eating me
its been killing me

like blunt force truama everytime i feel alright
anywhere i go any day any time
look im afraid if it ever gets a taste
of some blood im afraid i will never be the same

im dread man walking im pissed off like nidhogg
all my life ive been holding back on everyone
im not stopping i cant stop and wont stop
maybe just leave me alone

nidhogg (prod. neverforever)

Mix/Mastering by Sugafoot Productions LLC @sugafootproductionsllc

Produced by B mayor @b-mayor

(Lyrics)
Drop shit all on you
I aint got no room
I aint got no shit to do 
Without loving you

I know how you feel
I know how you know
I dont want them to know
Please tell me before

(Chorus)
Before they know
Before they know

I've been fucked for a minute
That don't mean anything quit it
Quit with the accent
When I'm acting
Like I keep with it
Feels like I'm drowning
In my own shit
I don't want them to know before

(Chorus)
Before they know

Before they know I know it
Before they edit this bit
After they fell for my tricks
They don't know any of my shit
They don't know any of my habits
They don't know any of my ticks
Look at my kicks when I kick this
Look at my fists when I hit this brick

I guess this is my downfall
I guess I'm feeling all well
Always feeling all well
Always feeling off hand

Fuck it all
You know wrong
Clean this all
Before

(Chorus)
Before they know

Melancholy Eyes

Avoid

Avoid (prod. B mayor)

Unsaid (feat. Spooky)

Mix/Mastered by Sugafoot Productions LLC @sugafootproductionsllc

Produced by suincideme 

SAMPLED SONG-(Exhale by Rarity)

Lyrics:

(Verse)(suincideme)
I got some issues going on in my head
I got some things that I've left unsaid
I got some things that I don't wanna do
When I'm sitting here in my own fucking room
and

I feel cold when I'm feeling numb
I feel pain when I'm feeling numb
Always feel like I have to fix it up
Fix it up
Fix It Up
FIX IT UP
Like

I always feel like I'm drowning
Drowning in my skin
Let me out
Let me out this
Get me out my skin

I don't wanna be here no more
I don't wanna be here and
You know I don't want this
I don't want things to be like

(Chorus)
Get me out
Get me out my mind
Get me out
Get me out this time

I don't wanna be here no more
Don't wanna feel the pain
Don't wanna feel the comfort

Don't wanna feel painless
Don't wanna feel colorless
Don't wanna be heinous
Yeah

I don't want this to end
I don't want this to
I don't want this to end
I don't
I

I don't want this to end
THIS TO
TO END

(Verse)(Spooky)
I've opened up my eyes
& failed to recognize
That you were my demise
Yeah

Why is this compromise
Or is this just my life
Predetermined by
The chemicals in my mind

& I'm searching for a thousand ways
Head is clouded by this goddamn haze
You should've walked away

(Outro)(Sample, suincideme, Spooky)
I opened up my eyes
I take a look around
I do not recognize
ANY OF THESE PEOPLE AROUND ME

What happened to my scars
What happened to her car
& WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL SO SOBER

Is anybody listening
Is anybody here with me

Yeaaahhh(Spooky)

WHY IS IT SO EASY TO BREATHE AGAIN?

Unsaid

Unsaid (feat. Nihilgeist)(prod. suincideme)

P.u.L.P (feat. Versxi)

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Produced by @scottysplash

Lyrics:

(Verse)(suincideme)
I feel like I'm on boarder patrol
You need to fix your fucking lack of control
Yeah how am I supposed to know
When you're acting all visceral

& I'm kind of sick of being your friend
With all the tendencies that start to kick in
I have to hang out and try to pretend
That nothings bothering me
Then

Then now
Where's my crown
For all the shit you put me through
Been around
This fucking town
Twice too many times now
I'm sick of this shit
It's suicide in this cockpit
Getting out of these cross-hairs
Before you strike that kingpin

(Interlude)
I hope you change
God I hope you change
Cause I miss the things
We'd do everyday

Peace
Love
& Positivity
Don't you preach that shit to me
Your full of hypocrisy
Spilling out your mouth toxicity

(Prechorus)
I'll cut ties with fake friends
Before I make ties with loose ends
How many times can I do this
Before I loose it
You say you don't wanna choose it
Well I'm not giving options
I'll bounce out
So you don't have to choose shit

(Chorus)
You count it up
Yeah
You count it up
Like it's
Nothing I wish yeah

You'd cut it out
Yeah
I've had enough of this bullshit
Yeah

I've had enough
Yeah
I've had enough
Of this
Constant regret yeah

Wishing I never met you to begin with 
Yeah

(Verse)(Versxi)
I count it up
Yeah
I count it up
Yeah
All the shit you put me through

I count it up
Yeah
I count it up
Yeah
ALL THE SHIT I DID FOR YOU

I count it up
Yeah
I count it up
Yeah
This shit is nothing new

This is the last straw
IM SO DONE WITH YOU

Ey said you were my brother
That was just a fucking lie
Grab a pair of scissors
Bout to cut the tie
With this guy

He's the poison in my life
Just a knife in my spine
This friendships fucking cancelled
I'm not sorry this time EY

(Chorus)
You count it up
Yeah
You count it up
Like it's
Nothing I wish yeah

You'd cut it out
Yeah
I've had enough of this bullshit
Yeah

I've had enough
Yeah
I've had enough
Of this
Constant regret yeah

Wishing I never met you to begin with 
Yeah

P.u.L.P

P.u.L.P (feat. Versxi)(prod. scottysplash)

Pile of Bricks

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

Lyrics:

(Chorus)
Is there a problem?
Do we need to solve it?
Yeah I'm so tired of listing my regrets
If there's a problem
Do we need to solve IT?
I'm so tired of listing my regrets

(Bridge)
Man I'm so over this
Over this I'm done
But I'll get over it
Guess I'm over it
NOW

(Verse)
There's some problems that I'd like to fucking talk about
But it's okay to talk about these issues that I'm having in my head
Just another pile of bricks in my bed
Just another breaking point in my head
I'm so sick of the past
Will I get over that???

Yeah I'm so fucking tired of the tunnel vision
There's not a single way that I could ever fix it
The flashbacks that call back to those days
Like deer in the headlights I feel so afraid

If you're so fucking tired of the way you're living
Then maybe you should do something to fucking fix it
That's what I keep telling myself
That's what I keep telling myself

(Bridge)
Man I'm so over this
Over this I'm done
But I'll get over it
Guess I'm over it
NOW

(Chorus)
Is there a problem?
Do we need to solve it?
Yeah I'm so tired of listing my regrets
If there's a problem
Do we need to solve IT?
I'm so tired of listing my regrets

(Ending)
Yeah, Yeah, my regrets
Just another pile of bricks in my bed
Just another breaking point in my head
I'm so sick of the past
Will I get over that?

Pile of Bricks

Basement Dweller

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

Lyrics by: suincideme, Dilly

with all the vibes in my basement
ive been trying real hard just to find my placement
Ive accomplished so much shit that my head feeling spactious
all my credibility is lookin like ive made it

in all caps 
you saw that
I told you
id come back
like ken comin back from the tree i never thought that
id ever be 
anything
try to wash this down with some listerine

my stars are aligned
with the vibes of my sign
you keep on checkin my stats 
like comparing zodiacs

dropping loads on my back
to think id carry the weight
im bout to ultimate yo ass so get the fuck out my way

stop
wait
innovate

lil bit down
in my mind today

makes me wonder why you say shit everyday
like try sending shots from the other way

i feel like everybodies talking smack about me
even if theres not a single thing that you could say about me

i fuck up
i look up
i suck up
to every single person i love like no other
i know that i hurt you but thats whats enough huh?
like why you do this shit?

Why you throw me away like that leave in the fray like that
you know you could
you could be the heart i lack
just push me and ill push right back to you

How many times a week do you all need to feed?
its the 5th time this week i need to sleep
im pulling out my hair and im picking at my teeth
oh god i need to breathe need to breathe right

im done today
im overfrayed
im too high need a come down potion
wheres the potion
i need a notion
to know your motives
did you really think i didnt notice
on how you fuck me and then you love me
i think its corny
how you support me
you think you know me
only coming to me when you need me

you try to bleed me
you think you need me
wait till you see me on youre tv

Why you throw me away like that leave in the fray like that
you know you could
you could be the heart i lack
just push me and ill push right back to you

How many times a week do you all need to feed?
its the 5th time this week i need to sleep
im pulling out my hair and im picking at my teeth
oh god i need to breathe need to breathe right

Basement Dweller

RIOT!

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

Photo used by: IG @lonelyshorts

Lyrics: suincideme

what the fuck is up
how you doing this year
this is me 
im 2019 swerving 6 up on the scene
ive got a real bad case
of a real sad taste wait
can i really fall flat
can i sound fake
can you vibe with me
ride with me
die with me
can i really keep a sound with me
i really hate that shit
staying at the same state
all you motherfuckers better match my rate yuh

match my grin match my tone match that shit right
match my highs match my lows match that sad life
match that staying up late at night
just waiting for the better days
getting home just waste away

yeah Im sad as fuck but you can tell just by my eyes
yeah Im a cynic fuck but youll find out in due time
My ups and downs

My ups My ups and downs
my head spinning around
my stupid fucking frown
thats keeping me down

My ups my ups and downs
my stupid fucking mind 
kicks into overdrive
I might just start a riot

my ups my ups and downs
My ups my ups and downs
my stupid fucking frown
is keeping me down

My ups my ups and downs
my stupid fucking mind 
kicks into overdrive
I might just start a riot

out of my mind
draw an outline
ive gotta little death lipstick on mine
drawing white body outlines
just to stop and pan it out as not mine
i am so far from the thrill of it
you cant coast if im ending it
killing cronies with minutemen
hit me up if you need a stint
waste it waste it
man i need my payslip
fuck this fuck this
you dont need my trust bish

i am a little pile of bricks
a little contemplation
little shits for kicks
a little elevated
dont you worry bout it
i dont need your help to try get me out of it yet

yeah Im sad as fuck but you can tell just by my eyes
yeah Im a cynic fuck but youll find out in due time
My ups and downs

My ups My ups and downs
my head spinning around
my stupid fucking frown
thats keeping me down

My ups my ups and downs
my stupid fucking mind 
kicks into overdrive
I might just start a riot

my ups my ups and downs
My ups my ups and downs
my stupid fucking frown
is keeping me down

My ups my ups and downs
my stupid fucking mind 
kicks into overdrive
I might just start a riot

RIOT!

NOSEBLEED!

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

Photo used by: IG @lonelyshorts

Lyrics: suincideme

Princess a la mode
sugary sweet right to the bone
oh my lord so sweet
filling up my arms and eyes with calories
calories that beats the meats
im fuckin chopping trees down till i cant breathe
got my heart beat beating at a racing speed
fuck i think i gotta a nose bleed

now you seem like a type b
Yo i think i fell in love bitch i might be
i know i sound real simple like this rhyme scheme
Head over heels for a nymph in my wet dream

my kind of type beat
you feel that im vibing
im feeling you out
while your checking my heartbeat
that stethoscope so cold against my chest plz
heat it up before you get it close to me

pick up my phone to answer your calls
i know that i suck no need to indulge
im superstitious
im antisocial
im suicidal
with all the right flaws

come on baby hit me with a slide
can i bite can i take out your eyes
i dont mind if you stay for the night
if its not such a waste of your time
i just really wanna bite
could you drop the addy
I dont really wanna fight
could you put me at ease
I just really wanna bite
could we stop the bleeding
stop the bleeding
could we stop the bleeding

so far so good
blood stream too soot
you just jumpstart my heart
when no one else could
like nobody else is 
up in this celsius
feeling of your body
got me feeling so breathless

like jeez you just put at ease
as you start the fire boiling up in my jeans
you might need a matchbox to relay this heat
like seriously
ive been waiting
ive been aching

pick up your phone to answer my calls
bitch im not dumb i know that your home
Im super psycho
im anti social
Im suicidal
With all the right flaws

Princess a la mode
sugary sweet right to the bone
oh my lord so sweet
filling up my arms and eyes with calories
calories that beats the meats
im fuckin chopping trees down till i cant breathe
got my heart beat beating at a racing speed
fuck i think i gotta a nose bleed

NOSEBLEED!

OY! VEY!

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

Photo used by: IG @lonelyshorts

Lyrics: suincideme

sit on my lap girl
ill make you feel important
i wanna see you shine
wanna see you soarin
i dont wanna be heartless
i dont wanna see you hurtin

whatd you say?
Cant relate
but youve been busy on my mind everyday
lil locomotive run through me she rushin
stop at the tip top i know that she blushin
got bangin 808s
you can tell me what what you think
you dont gotta hide anything
you can tell me all the pain

leave this white washed town for the day
black skinny jeans tight got me like
oy vey

now i could prolly sit around all day
conversating how you make me feel some type of way
hey
im crazy for you love

sit on my lap girl
ill make you feel important
i wanna see you shine
wanna see you soarin
i dont wanna be heartless
i dont wanna see you hurtin

i love how you talk about me
You treat my heart oh so kindly
return the favor with smileys
x's and o's on my boundaries
oh my my its so insane how youve got me
lil shorty going up an then she pressin down b
shes my little dutchess and im her thomas omalley
starin in her eyes while she pourin up that bubbly

now i dont really know what else to say
youre the only reason that i really feel OK
hey
im crazy for you love

sit on my lap girl
ill make you feel important
i wanna see you shine
wanna see you soarin
i dont wanna be heartless
i dont wanna see you hurtin

OY! VEY!

camry

MUSIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhLCR_ScXZI

Produced by (REDACTED) & @spookygang

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Lyrics: suincideme

I took you home that night
after i fucked you for one last time
Im sorry that i made you cry
Im sorry i broke your heart in the worst way

Now theres a couple reasons i cant sleep at night
but youre the only reason i dont wanna fucking dream at night
i find you in my sleep
get depressed for a week
get up late
hit the snooze
drink again
im hit with blues
how are you?

You scream "how could you do this to me?"
What the fuck was i supposed to do 
with how you always treated me
All the hurt that i went through
I stayed because i felt for you
with all the scars you left on you
I know the pain that youve been through

Get out of my dreams
Get out of my mind
Stay out of my dreams
Stay out of my mind
plz

Anon are you okay
Anon are you okay
Anon are you okay all alone

I didnt wanna leave you
Im sorry that i left you
Im sorry that i left you all alone

I didnt want to hurt you
Im sorry that I broke you
Im sorry that i dragged this out so long

I didnt know what else to do
This is all because of you
Im sorry that i fell for you

I went back home that night
after i hurt you for one last time
Im sorry that i made you cry
Im sorry i broke your heart in the worst way

Anon are you okay
Anon are you okay
Anon are you okay all alone
I didnt wanna leave you
Im sorry that i left you
Im sorry that i left you all alone

camry

VIDEO

camry (prod. spookygang)[MUSIC VIDEO IN DESC]

im a pumpkin

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

Lyrics: suincideme

im carving out my face
to see you smiling
dont worry about me baby
yeah ill be aye okay
bother me
make me see
whats the real reason
i give all of me
for you to see
i make me bleed
believe that
your smile dont bother me

Lov without the e
come on babygirl come and lob your face at me
now thats that shit i like to see
walking through cold and barren trees
but I stay tongue and cheek everyday of the week
so they know that
i cross my eyes with some x's
i fill my o's with the restless
i get attached then i severe it
i get more sleep than pill popping junkies on payday
that 12 hour rest up aint shit when your with me

walk with me
through the trees
where warm tinted leaves are all we see
willows weeps
with bare back trees
a sparkle in your eyes is all i need

im carving out my face
to see you smiling
dont worry about me baby
yeah ill be aye okay
bother me
make me see
what the real reason
i give all of me
for you to see
i make me bleed
believe that
your smile dont bother me

HEY
Lemme finish my sentence
i promise ill be out of your hair in a minute
HEY
Lemme see that smile
Itd help me stay for awhile if you keep getting me riled up yeah

while this melancholy weather
has me tethered to the earth as i put myself together on the ground
Oh i bet you wanna see me look at ya
lemme get that eye lock ya

lay with me
cry to me
tell me all the things your mind can think
Serenity
helps us breathe
Ill give you every part, every ounce of me

im carving out my face
to see you smiling
dont worry about me baby
yeah ill be aye okay
bother me
make me see
what the real reason
i give all of me
for you to see
i make me bleed
believe that
your smile dont bother

im a pumpkin

For The Weekend

Produced by @octxsphere

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

Lyrics: suincideme

check the clock
watch it stop
chew my cheek
like can i not
eat your words
ride around with some drowning polyglots
wheres my coat 
need a light
or i think id rather not
its too cold 
need some heat
can i try you on for size
its still weighing on my mind
hey i think were killing time
can we cut to the chase
nah i think id rather die
dont you tell me what i ought to
what i fucking might do
ill tell you what i might do
bitch i fucking ought to 
break you
smother you and torture you
take time
to fantasize what i cant do
deep mind
im paralyzed
im so subdued
deep wounds
its suicide
its all warped view
convoluted
as i evaluate it
and im a big fucking baby
ion think ill get faded tonight
yeah its a cycle
imbed in my skull
been in denial
its fresh
yeah its vital
but i wont lie tho
its kindve nice so
pour up some soda and get ready for a damn show
cuz ima be a slasher for the weekend

ima be a slasher for the weekend
if all my lil homies keep telling me im the weakest link
man that knife in my back really stings
is that knife in my back real?

ima be a slasher for the weekend
if all my lil voices keep telling me im the weakest link
man that knife in my back really stings
is that knife in my back real?

real real 
tell us how those sutures really 
feel yeah
drugged up and i feel im speaking nonsense
rolling off the deep end
man i feel like garbage
opossums in my conscious
theres red all on my carpet
ion really know if i can stop this
ey ey
maxing out my body with concoctions
ey ey
candy filled with sharp and foriegn objects
ey ey
cerebullum broke now i cant function
rip out ur tongue so you cant talk shit
why you screaming out i thought you wanted this
gore all on the floor im feeling nauseous
wheres ur couch bag i need to vomit

ima be a slasher for the weekend
if all my lil voices keep telling me im the weakest link
man that knife in my back really stings
is that knife in my back real?

For The Weekend

For The Weekend (prod. octxsphere)

from your seed

Produced by @tothegood

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme

what about us 
what about death
what about family
what about trust

what about us 
what about death
what about family
what about trust

what about us
what about death
what about family
what about trust
what about your kin
what about your dad
what about the family that you never had like

my god youre so enigmatic
your words bring nothing but static
dont try and hold all your habits
ill find out

dont say hello from the deep end
i know those words are fake cuz you tweaking
theres no male intent i aint seethin
i think its been 2 years since ive seen him

i heard that you got locked up now
i heard your sober as fuck now
relapse rehab pick up your heart now
your the reason why its been that

i wont stop thinking bout that day
now i got the balls 
to say what i say
to say what i mean
to say what i am
now its time for you to be a better man

I aint got all fucking day
spit out what you wanna say
i aint got all fucking year
i will learn from your mistakes

I aint got all fucking day
spit out what you wanna say
i aint got all fucking year
i will learn from your mistakes

what about us 
what about death
what about family
what about trust

what about us 
what about death
what about family
what about trust

what about us
what about death
what about family
what about trust
what about your kin
what about your dad
what about the family that you never had like

my god youre so enigmatic
your words bring nothing but static
dont try and hold all your habits
ill find out

from your seed

from your seed (prod. tothegood)

sad fish

Produced by @bradyamour

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme

who the fuck are you
and why do i hate this shit
ive been coming home
feel a little less lavish
who the fuck are you
and why you in my bed bitch
youve been passing out
lookin pitiful sad fish

who the fuck are you
i dont know who you are whoa
you dont really know where youre at whoa
passing out cold where you at whoa
you dont know
how does that feel

an it aint all what you feel
coming in hot with the needle
coming in hot with them heels
random ass bitch whats the deal

an no one really likes a sad fish
you dont really hear me
you cant even hear the sadness
stupid druggie bitch
i guess im sleeping on the couch then
this the reason why im dreading this bullshit

bullshit bullshit all of this is bullshit
yall been crushin pillies
rollin dollies just to snort shit
barbie doll sellin
easy money for the next rent
cigarette ash on the carpet
forfeit
all this
just so you could feel high
empty bottles fill the void
of your bedside
couch surfers like were living on the west side
why the fuck you gotta give us such a hard life
fuck like

an it aint all what you feel
coming in hot with the needle
coming in hot with them heels
random ass bitch whats the deal

tho it aint all what we feel
pulling hard right on the wheel
suicide ditch
how i feel
no it aint all what we feel

who the fuck are you
and why do i hate this shit
ive coming home
feel a little less lavish
who the fuck are you
and why you in my bed bitch
youve been passing out
lookin pitiful sad fish

who the fuck are you
i dont know who you are whoa
Do you even know where youre at whoa
passing out cold where you at whoa
you dont know
how does that feel

sad fish

sad fish (prod. Brady Amour)

confidence

Produced by @cxldblxxd

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme

how can i do this
said how can i do this
with lips so cold
im getting tired of always kissing with death

black heart
when it shows it means a lot
back off and recharge with all ive got

how can i do this
said how can i do this
with lips so cold
im getting tired of always kissing with death

black heart
when it shows it means a lot
back off and recharge with all ive got

so he sits in his car
and decompresses his chest
and thinks of that he is
he doesnt cope
well with feelings
that all started teething
when he started growing up

back off
back off of me
i need my space for clarity

so long
so long to me
so long
so long

how can i do this
said how can i do this
with lips so cold
im getting tired of always kissing with death

black heart
when it shows it means a lot
back off and recharge with all ive got

how can i keep doing this
filled with such imcompetence
i need some more confidence
wish i had more confidence

how can i keep doing this
filled with such imcompetence
i need some more confidence
i need some more confidence

confidence

confidence (prod. cxld blxxd)

tread on me

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme

tempt my rage
tempt my kind

tread my heart
tread my time

tempt my rage
tempt my kind

man its all about that timepass
that steadfast
that turns into fire
certified hate thatll turn
on my desire

swear im dripping like a bog 
when i put on my attire
raging in a night fit
lookin like i shop at meijer

3 in the morning
the lights make my eyes hurt
bags under my eyes
i look hella tired
bottle the rage
and give force to satire
stress eat at check out
till i feel my bowels hurt

sweet tooth stop my cough im an addict
jawbreaker mouth with the layers im addin
lemon drop top from her lips shes a bad bitch
buy out their stock of some reeses then mat it

smashin
im crashin
bitch why is you askin
i pumped up the lyrics
then sprinkled some action
turned up the passion
stopped soundin like rat shit
i clean up my sound
like my name was mactavish

tread my incentive
tempt my descent
tempt my emotions
i feel like a brick
tread my incentive
tempt my decent

tempt my rage
tempt my kind
tempt my carelessness
all night

tread my heart
tread my time
tread my uselessness
i try i try

this exactly what sobriety does
dig up that shit thats been under the rug
load up that save
that i aint playing enough
display raw emotion
that i keep on the cuff

theres a bad ache
bad taste
sour tum was it something i ate

top ramen
when i wake for the day
falls creek sweater
minimum wage

ill take that bite
take the hits
fuck my life up
just for this
i mean im so shy
what you think of me then
what you think of me then

tread my incentive
tempt my descent
tread my ambitions
i feel like a brick
tread my incentive
tempt my descent

tempt my rage
tempt my time
tempt my carelessness
all night

tread my heart
tread my kind
tread my uselessness
i try I try

this exactly what sobriety does
dig up that shit thats been under the rug
load up that save
that i aint playing enough
display raw emotion
that i keep on the cuff

tread on me

tread on me (prod. scottysplash)

sorry moms

Produced by @93feetofsmoke

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme

you a bad thing
wearing black lingerie
i could sit you down and
take you far away

in a way
i dont need it
i dont need it
but damn i know i crave it
its been like the sixth week

gut it out
im just tryna have some fun now
choke her out
lil shawty get a nut out
gut it out
im just tryna have some fun now
what would they say
what would they think

with your thighs out
pretty soon im gonna white out
now just lie down
pretty soon youll be tied down

now ive been waiting all damn week
to feel your flesh between my teeth
about right now
pretty soon ill break your pretty little back in two
about right now
pretty soon ill make a pretty little mess of you

with your thighs out
pretty soon im gon white out
now just lie down
pretty soon youll be tied down

sorry moms

sorry moms (prod. 93FEETOFSMOKE)

face lift

Produced by @cxldblxxd

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme

2020 locked into my vision
hair up on my head i need to fade it
too much on my mind i need a cadence
I always wear a frown i need a facelift

terror on my back i need to cage it
you dont really wanna be a canidate
you dont really wanna be on set today
The air so tense that i can taste it

stepping through the corridor
with your dreams
you got on your favorite colors
you got on your favorite jeans
you might even find some happiness in this state
you wont get there
with the radar clocking dead weight

super fine lines i feel like you might cap
ima hit you with a sign if you acting like that
what was that
what you say
could you speak a lil louder
ion got all fucking day
what was that

you feeling bad today
well i catch yo drift ill stay inside today
i just wanna pack a cone
and get high today
but this stupid fucking law just amps up my anxiety

amps up my anxiety
is there a better way
to calm me from all this pain
is music the only way

its not right
its not right

2020 locked into my vision
hair up on my head i need to fade it
too much on my mind i need a cadence
I always wear a frown i need a facelift

terror on my back i need to cage it
you dont really wanna be a canidate
you dont really wanna be on set today
The air so tense that i can taste it

pills i know they wont work i will not try again
face warps the imagery i feel ill never win
deal with it all by myself this might do me in
stay in my room and just catch up on shippuden

im on like episode 303
write down some lyrics try chasing my dreams
lay in my bed and try catching some z's
cant fucking sleep cuz i drink too much tea

face lift

face lift (prod. cxld blxxd)

out the woodwork

Featuring @bradyamour

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme & Brady Amour

im terrified to show me
filled with creepy crawlies
let the maggots hold me
slowly
lately

this house of flies gets lonely
thought theyd wanna hold me
but theyve been acting coldly
lately

lately
im aching
my own survival is pain plz
anticipation is scathing
a fruitful display
tho need for decay

i cant do shit but be sad babe
theyre in my ears and my eyes babe
webbing is all that i see
writhing in key
they dont feel anything
i think i feel that your raiding me
dont think about me youre crazy
im slowly decomposing

im terrified to show me
filled with creepy crawlies
let the maggots hold me
slowly
lately

this house of flies gets lonely
thought theyd wanna hold me
but theyve been acting coldly
lately

out the woodwork

out the woodwork (feat. Brady Amour)(prod. scottysplash)

gimme a break

Produced by @8milotb

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme

look im sorry
that last song took a lot out of me
i know my baby mad but im still hoping that she proud of me
its out of me
im bound to be
a little fucking callused plz
lemme try an recoop with my only outlet plz

now i need to go back to therapy
talk about my issues
so maybe i can finally see
whats really going on with me
innards out and rescape me

i wish my family would tell me more things
i wish my girly would tell me more
i hope my broskis could tell me all things
i see their eyes i can see the strain

pieces still scatter the floor
seems like these pieces dont fit
it might take a bit
now dont fucking sit
if less isnt more
then i promise they fit
yeah i promise they fit

give me a break
im only 21 and i forgot what i did yesterday
but i can remember a bitch in my dreams 
that shit really fucks with me
tear me apart whoa

so if i dont respond its prolly not accidental
i built my fucking wall its no wonder they arent brittle
very scary dark times
i dont wanna live life
can you boot me offline
its getting hard to breathe

this is the point where you ask yoself
steeped in avoidance yeah does it help
watch em all tear me apart
tear me apart
tear me apart

cant you just let me be
while i lay around mounds of fleas
let em suck the life out of me
ignorance is bound to flee

theres another life outta me
sit back relax lets take your heart out
just go and lay back
go and lay back
lets take your heart out

gimme a break

gimme a break (prod. 8milOTB)

when it comes to you

Produced by @caspr

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash & @suincideme

Lyrics: suincideme

my lake
its froze
ive seen the light and it blows

my life
still flows
im still caught in undertow

Now its takes
a lot
to breathe someone back to life

an your breath
makes moves
in waves i know that i like

theres no way that i wouldve ever been found
if it wasnt for you
you make me realize
that theres a reason to fight
when it comes to you

intoxicate me
suffer when you leave
i know 
im so lame
i feel like a monster to you

you feel encumbered now
i feel like a burden
im sorry im so sick
where do i start to begin

ill make it up to you
ill make it up to you
i hate to see you cry
i hate to see you cry

theres no way that i wouldve ever been found
if it wasnt for you
you make me realize
that theres a reason to fight
when it comes to you

when it comes to you

when it comes to you (prod. caspr)

HM08

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover Art: Pokemon Ruby & Sapphire

LYRICS:
kiss my lips and pierce my eyes
hoping i stay out of line
i havent felt high for a minute
just lemme take a dive for a minute

i say let it out
send full force before we gut it up
havent felt high for a minute
just lemme take a dive for a minute

i was
jaded
blasting my ass okay then
beam me up to my space ship
take a vacay till i feel no caution

dont get up in arms now
just cuz im back on my bag
dont mean bark now

surfing on waves like a karp wow
kissing pink lips in the dark now

dont shatter my heart now
three times the charm
and this shits feeling real now

jerseys off 
i like that pillow talk
i might snap on your ass if you keep it up
i mean

i mean i mean
if you keep it up i mean
i havent felt high for a minute
just lemme take a dive for a minute

kiss my lips and pierce my eyes
hoping i stay out of line
i havent felt high for a minute
just lemme take a dive for a minute

i say let it out
send full force before we gut it up
i havent felt high for a minute
just lemme take a dive for a minute

Hey nohl dont you fuck it up
send full force before you gut it up
i havent felt high for a minute
just lemme take a dive for a minute

its taxing
im feeling the weight of my actions
but loving the feeling were packin
crazed off a feeling attraction
attachment
shes asking

do you feel it feel it
keep it up beat
how you feelin feelin
grippin on your thigh
so my palms dont shake
turn and pause okay
do you feel it feel it yet

yet
do you feel it yet
i havent felt high for a minute

kiss my lips and pierce my eyes
hoping i stay out of line
i havent felt high for a minute
just lemme take a dive for a minute

i say let it out
send full force before we gut it up
i havent felt high for a minute
just lemme take a dive for a minute

HM08

HM08 (prod. scottysplash)

dont you like the way i smile now

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @suincideme

LYRICS: @suincideme

thats a lie
thats a lie
thats a lie maybe
keep that all inside
all inside

ima be up
and i dont think
i ever wanna come down
dont you the like the way that i smile now

ill be high
ill be high
ill be high maybe
keep that all in mind
all in mind

i just gave up
i dont give fuck now
i dont give a damn
if you could be fine

clarify
signify
justify maybe

you might think youre sly
think youre sly
in the subs maybe

its pretty sus
i aint seen you for a week
for a month its okay
i dont need you anyways

ive got pictures from their screenshots
you wont @ me
sister on my phone like wheres the addy
like this is moronic
highly ironic
distorting my image
now youre not on it

pissed at my past thats
likely my asset
revisit my pith that belonged in the attic
im on cloud 9
and i bet ill be fine now
dont you like the way that i smile now

thats a lie
thats a lie
thats a lie maybe
keep that all inside
all inside

ima be up
and i dont think
i ever wanna come down
dont you like the way that i smile now

ill be high
ill be high
ill be high maybe
keep that all in mind
all in mind

i just gave up
i dont give fuck now
i dont give a damn
if you could be fine

you say ive changed
i think you dont know a fucking thing about me at this stage
maybe you should try acting your age

you think really
how could he leave me
i think i got a bit tired of you drinking our weekends

i think i liked cha
but youre fucked up
with rot mouth
you act like
youre a martyr online now

laced up with false accusations
now you can go contact your simp
hes been waiting
so you can get down
til youre out your stasis
yeah you can keep posting
i dont have the patience

thats a lie
thats a lie
thats a lie maybe
keep that all inside
all inside

ima be up
and i dont think
i ever wanna come down
dont you like the way that i smile now

ill be high
ill be high
ill be high maybe
keep that all in mind
all in mind

i just gave up
i dont give fuck now
i dont give a damn
if you could be fine

dont you like the way i smile now

dont you like the way i smile now (prod. scottysplash)

mousseblud

FEATURING @itsyungvan

Produced by @scottysplash

Mix/Mastered by @scottysplash

Cover art by @scottysplash

LYRICS: @suincideme @itsyungvan

too many times that i cant explain
ive been drawn to you in so many ways
ill make this time honest
sweet and gorgeous

love
its time to get low
ill come on by
just give me the time
im ready for


you feel what i feel
you take the time to
see me when im blue
couped up in my room

can we run it back
it wont look the same
i dont care about it
lets run this train

fuck the distancing
fuck the quarintine
ima slid right into
those cut up denim jeans

full face with the compliments
i mean i
wanna show you what your working with
its a big stretch like a drumhead
she hit me with a
moose blood with a new pack of gum
and said

do you wanna come over later
we can take our time to savor
we can save our hearts for later
we can do this now or later


too many times that i cant explain
ive been drawn to you in so many ways
ill make this time honest
sweet and gorgeous

im terrified i wont act the same
i dont wanna be another lonely mane
ill hope this times honest
sweet gorgeous

love
its time to get low
its time to get low low








too many times that i cant explain
ive been drawn to you in so many ways
ill make this time honest
sweet and gorgeous

im terrified i wont act the same
i dont wanna be another lonely mane
ill hope this times honest
sweet gorgeous

mousseblud

mousseblud (feat. Yung Van)(prod. scottysplash)

dread man walking [VOL.1]

im making music for me.
(sue-in-side-me)

email: suincideme.official@gmail.com

suincideme

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