Into The Unknown

My name is sulkythread, and this is the story of how love, heartbreak, and music saved my life.

Years ago, I was at the lowest point I’d ever been. I had decided that I was going to end my life. I had it all planned out — until something unexpected happened.

I logged into Halo Infinite for what I believed would be the last time. That’s when I heard her voice. Mary — who went by Eva — was on the other end of my headset. We didn’t know each other. She was just a random teammate… or so I thought.

But then I heard it — the sounds of abuse happening in her background. I couldn’t ignore it. Something inside me told me that before I could take my life, I needed to save hers.

We started talking privately through Discord. We became close. I didn’t even know what she looked like for months — all I knew was that we were both broken, and somehow, in each other, we found safety.

At the time, I was in the U.S., and she was in Canada. Eventually, I paid for a moving company to help her escape her abusive relationship. I drove all the way to Canada and waited in her driveway. I fell asleep in my car, and when I woke up, she pulled me out of the driver’s seat and kissed me as “Dancing in the Moonlight” played from my stereo.

That was our beginning.

We camped in a luxury tent with a king-sized air mattress, a TV, and an Xbox. We played Halo Infinite together — like we did the night we met. For years, I traveled to see her, by car or plane, spending as much time as we could together. We even got engaged.

But slowly, things changed.

She began to drift away. We tried to stay friends, but I still loved her deeply — more than just a friend. She was everything to me. Eventually, she blocked me on everything except my phone number, which she’s never responded to since.

After that, the darkness returned. I began to struggle again. But this time, I turned to music.

I’ve been producing music since I was young, but this time, it meant something different. I poured every ounce of my grief, love, and confusion into my songs. I used Typhoon jam tracks and even collaborated with Neo_guitar on YouTube. I made an entire album called Made in Canada — a tribute to everything we had, and everything I lost.

One song, Where Are You Eva, doubled as a suicide note. I recorded it on my iPhone headphones during my very first drive up to see her. If I couldn’t save her, I thought, maybe I didn’t deserve to be saved either.

But I didn’t give up. I kept creating. Music helped me survive. And now, it’s helping me heal.

I kept my artist name sulkythread because I want my story to be heard — by the world, and maybe even by her. I hope that one day, Mary will come across my music and know how much she changed my life. That she saved me without ever knowing it. And that I'm okay now.

I’ve tried to move on. I’ve been in other relationships. But none felt the same. Mary was the one who reached into the darkness and pulled me out — even if she didn’t mean to. I still love her, and I always will, even if we can’t be together. I respect her wish for distance. But I’ll keep sharing my story, and making music inspired by her — by us.

Thank you, Mary. For saving me.

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SulkyThread

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