when i can travel through time
i won't bother going backwards to when things were better
i'll just fast forward to the end of the world
so that i can be sure i'm the only one you've got left

or i suppose i could go to ancient rome
& say the right things to get fed to the lions
or kill some important emperor
so you'd read about me at law school or whatever

maybe i'd go to the stone age
where i'd be too hungry to worry and wonder
where you are or what you're thinkin
i'll just hunt and i'll gather and i'll know no different

but i know one thing for shore
i will avoid
the future like the plague
but that's nothing new
i want nothing new

what bothers me the most
is before
i thought to stop a plane craaaaaaash
or cure some disease

i thought of you
and what i could do

[sick sax solo if i knew how to play the sax]

but really i'd go to any time
not just to find some clever way to die
but to know that i wasn't right here and right now
so the odds would increase that maybe you'd be there too 

caveman

i want my money back
every cent that i've spent
every goddamn dollar and dime
i used to want all these things that i've got
but now i've changed my mind
so back up the truck,
you can have as much as you want
just cut me a check
as long as when you're done there's nothing left

lately i've been living like
the candle is lit at both ends
stepping on all the cracks that i can
when i'm not being carried by friends
they'll ask me why, and i just reply
"i guess for efficiency's sake"
but really it's just more fun this way

this year was a freight train
in a china shop with boarded windows and doors
i was a scam artist who picked up the shards
and tried to sell them for more
to any poor sap who still hadn't had the misfortune to meet me before
so i could buy more liquor
'cause i hardly know her anymore (BA DUM TSSS)

you never liked the way that i looked
and i hate that you couldn't admit it
so i tried on his clothes to see if they'd fit
and to no one's surprise they didn't
i have to say I'm pretty ashamed 
of the ways that i found to compensate
i just wanted to feel attractive today

'cause i'm not an extrovert; i'm a parasite
i don't crave company; i need it
devour my friends inside and out
replace nothing after i eat it

i'm ready and willing to be okay
so why do you have to make me wait?
i saw your new picture today

this year was a freight train
and you were the ropes that bonded me to the track
while the new guy stood by silent black & white
twirled his mustache as he laughed
at the poor sap who still hadn't had the closure he was promised

that's okay
i guess i can wait
maybe next year you can be honest

bash at the beach ('96)

can i be there when you need someone
without being the one you need?
'cause i know i can't be right for you
when nothing's right with me

i just need to know that i can
and i need you to know that i might
just leave

you're a lightning bug; i'm a bug light
or at best, i'm just like a kid
who keeps on catching fireflies
but forgets to put holes in the lid
well for now, my jar seems to be enough
but the sticks and the leaves will eventually wither
and you will still be stuck

in the meantime i'll still be there when you tell me you can't sleep
kiss your forehead in the morning, pull the blankets back over your feet
always knowing i would, but starting to doubt that i could
just leave

so i'm holding my breath while i wait for the day
you decide what you want me to be
the time we have left is dependent upon
the fact that that'll never be me
so i'm holding my breath while i wait for the day
when you realize what a mistake you had made
when you found yourself here in the first place

if that day never comes, then i guess i'll never leave
but if it does, then please:
don't say i didn't warn you

i know i didn't warn you
please stop saying i didn't warn you
i don't need reminded that i didn't warn you


bugs

it's one thing to create a monster
but you made the mistake of leaving one for dead
and if you read frankenstein in high school
then i'm afraid you and i both know how this one's gonna end
or at least what happens next

i'm crawling toward h street eating candy that a stranger gave to me
lost some friends, made some more, threw up on the red line
tonight i am a monument, a real site to see

back home things are back to normal
but it's still that stupid kind of normal
that involves me waking up on my boss's bathroom floor
well i don't like my bed much anymore

the old pictures of us don't even bum me out these days
because i hate the old both of us
it's all these new pictures of you, who seemingly wants nothing to do with me

for now i'll poke the bear when i show up here and there
force you to ignore me instead of letting you forget me
run into your friends and i recite what i've rehearsed
say i'm fine in just the way that says i'm not
hoping that they might relay that back to you
on the off chance that maybe just for once
you might be not fine too
why is this so easy for?

well i guess nothing's gonna change your mind
i wish something could at least change mine

happy hour

mary and my gut both tell me
leave well enough alone
but i just don't see how
well enough could be alone

so

i call you from the couch
there's some stuff i wanna talk about

i pry open my mouth but
what came out was
nothing that i meant to say
just everything i ate that day
'cause the best laid plans of drunk and anxious
often stop at being drunk and anxious
you know i'm no good at making plans

wouldn't even be here if i didn't think you'd be
i'd love to wanna hide but i survive by being seen
if only things were half as easy as you make them seem
i'd worry less what feels the best and do what's best for me

i don't sleep much anymore
but i'm pretending more than ever

summerbruise